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Burnin' Down the Haus

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ONLY NICE THINGS

11:43 / 15.04.02

I know, this is all self-indulgent and everything, but others have ben doing threads of a not dissimilar stamp lately, so bear with me.

During a recent trip far, far from the borders of Selfawaria, I have come across a cache of fascinating views about the Haus fictionsuit. It is, apparently, both the leader of Barbelith (crikey) and also annoys almost everyone else. Obviously, it's a catty kvetch-boy, and a hypocrite. It may have been dropped on its head as a baby, or have had oxygen cut off to its brain. Naturally, it is elitist. Oh, and it looks like Terry-Thomas. That, along with having the mentality of Skeletor, is pretty much the nicest thing anyone has ever said ever. I love you guys.

To extend Monsieur Dupre's metaphor, ever get the feeling the villagers are coming up the winding path with torches?

So, out of interest, what are *your* views on the Haus suit? I'm going to drop out of this thread now unless someone asks a direct question, so run wild. Or, if you feel this would be ego-stroking/the first cannonade in another mighty flamewar, PM me. I'm curiouser and curiouser.

11:55 / 15.04.02

Haus is the type of person I've never actually talked to (In the real world). First thoughts were very public schoolboy-ish, and where I'm from that usually means very arrogant and snobby but then he started to talk about Buffy and WWF and all my preconception disappeared.

Maybe a little bit critical of people at times, but I've never felt the brunt of that. Probably because I never get involved in anything serious.

** Sorry for the above sounding like an eulogy! **

Less searchable M0rd4nt

12:08 / 15.04.02

Let's not get out the boiling oil just yet. I think all this should be read in the light of a) tempers being a bit frayed all round at the time and b) some of it coming from a board where light flaming- toasting, possibly, or singing- seems to be the norm.

From my purely subjective point of view, the Haus suit seems to come down a little too heavy at times. But that's almost certainly just the conflict-o-phobe in me speaking.

12:14 / 15.04.02

Haus who?

12:37 / 15.04.02

I'm not sure this thread will be helpful to anyone. If it is to be helpful, the first person to ask about Haus would be Haus.

So, Haus, how would you describe yoursuit?

12:41 / 15.04.02

Can't do any harm either way ego stroking or ego bashing is good for everyone. The only thing I don't like it the silence of Haus idea, he could be sitting at home fuming and sharpening his plank...

12:43 / 15.04.02

i really hate that song burning down the house with tom jones and the lady from the cardigans. i thought it sucked and my mum dug it. tom jones is rubbish, i care not what anyone says.

12:43 / 15.04.02

I want to bring up the "Tesco Value David Starkey" one. It's open to different interpretations of course.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

12:51 / 15.04.02

How come nobody ever sits down and carefully works out tailor-made insults for me, goddammit? All I ever get are these generic insults. Aren't I special, too?

13:01 / 15.04.02

mc - am jotting down insults just for you to use at later dates.

having been one such person stomped all over by various states of haus, sometimes justifiably, sometimes not quite so much, i found myself imagining him a strangely bearded fellow rather full of himself. meeting him irl put my mind at rest about both beard and attitude and i see much humour and intelligence in much of his postings, not least the different names. i still sweat when i see a haus reply to one of my threads so that means he's keeping me on my toes. a good thing.

the liking for spurs is cause for concern, however.

13:02 / 15.04.02

Mordant, I`ve *seen* carnival, and you`re *nothing* like it, ya know? You`re more like a tedious children party with 5ive tunes on the repeat.

(Hey, I`ve tried).

13:12 / 15.04.02

The Haus, like all of us, is an adult and is fully capable of explaining himself—of explaining himself to others, of explaining himself to himself.

The Haus needs no-one to second-guess him: he needs no-one else to do his explaining for him: you either agree with him or you don't, and you take it from there, making your arguments on the merits of the ideas, rather than resorting to all-purpose dodges like "It's just his way."

The Haus is not a straw man. The Haus is not a caricature whose utterances can be instantly dismissed with the mantra "Well, consider the source." These approaches imply that the Haus persona exists independently of the man behind the IP account. The Haus is simply a mask: a mask for a man who has ideas and opinions with which you are free to agree or to disagree.

Your agreement or disagreement with the Haus' opinions should in no way constitute a referendum on your approval of the existence of the Haus suit itself, nor of the man behind it. The ideas are the ideas: the Haus is the Haus. Your feelings about one need not (and probably should not) color your feelings about the other.

See how easy that is?

13:47 / 15.04.02

I liken the panoply of Haus fictionsuits to the Hydra, a fantastical creature from ancient Greek mythology.

The Hydra had the body of a serpent and many different heads (sources differ exactly as to how many – anywhere from five to one hundred, but nine is the most common number mentioned). One of these heads could not be destroyed by any weapon, and if any of the other heads were severed two more would grow in its place.

Unlike the Hydra of old, the Haus fictionsuit utilizes a combination of fearsome intellectual prowess, scathing wit, a diverse range of personal interests and the sort of old-skool charm redolent of high-caliber British schooling to fight their battles. I think that sometimes their bon mots tend to be wasted on the targets they direct them at.

The fictionsuit tends to be misunderstood quite often; criticism concerning the content of a post has been taken as a personal attack on the person who posted, who then picks up a (virtual) bronze sword to cut off one of the hydra's heads...which never works, as any Grecophile will tell you.

Personally, I enjoy the fictionsuit tremendously. In a work environment where the jokes revolve around flatulence and excessive marijuana intake, I appreciate the humour and it helps me get through the day. But as someone who suffered a hideous educational experience, and never finished college, I can sympathise with some of the victims who feel thrice as stupid as they did before the confrontation with the many-headed Haus.

13:54 / 15.04.02

This about does it:

...it is elitist. Oh, and it looks like Terry-Thomas. That, along with having the mentality of Skeletor.

But any evilness is pure panto.

Don't go changing- you are perfect the way you are.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

14:45 / 15.04.02

Jade: Too little, too late.

14:59 / 15.04.02

I'm intrigued by the possibility that the Haus and the man behind it are converging.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

17:34 / 15.04.02

Intrigued? It's kind of scary.

17:57 / 15.04.02

I'd like to put my dick in his ear.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

18:29 / 15.04.02

huh. I've just gotten down wading through the BK's Immigrant's thread (which I guess I'm sort of partly responsible for), and I've got a few more words on Haus.

I've learned to never try to beat him with words, through debating, or in a "make the other guy look like an ass in front of everyone" contest. He's too damn good. He's too damn careful. I've tried in the past, and got slapped down more times than someone said "Haus, you're being unreasonable". It stopped being worth the effort a while ago. Plus, I've come to realize that his points, however worded (insultingly, sarcasticly, arrogantly, or however you describe them. Just make sure "playful" is in there somewhere, because I do think that's what they start out as), are valid ones the vast majority of the time.

Out there in reality (not to say that Barbelith isn't part of reality, but you know, there's a big differance in arguing on-line and arguing two feet apart. I know there shouldn't be, but there is), I can debate and discuss and argue like a sonuvabitch. I'm pretty damn good at it, probably because most of the time I'm arguing with idiots and fools who have had no training whatsoever as far as logic and presentation goes. Which is why I love this place. Many many people here are smarter and more educated than I am. I learn shit here. Most of my friends out there are older, better educated, and more intelligent than me. Which is great, because I learn so much stuff from them too, and gradually I am getting on even footing with them. Which is a really great feeling.

What does this have to do with Haus? I can imagine a lot of my friends acting like Haus on a message board. Were I in their position, I probably would too. So I don't really get upset with him anymore, even when I think he's being an ass more than is useful. Besides, at least he's a funny bastard. It could be worse.

20:55 / 15.04.02

I consider The Haus to be one of the most entertaining things I've ever encountered on the internet. While I would be the first to admit that it can come off as a bit mean-spirited at times, I also think that it adds a lot of intelligence and humor to Barbelith.

08:01 / 16.04.02

I second that - I love the Haus, and sometimes feel slightly put out that he's never really gone me. There is just something horribly appealling about watching someone try to argue, while you know s/he is merely sinking further and further out of her/his depth - waiting for the inevitable, perfectly posed and somewhat incomprehensible reply. I also like the fact that he semi-regularly starts threads, like this one, designed to get people to slag him off.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

08:08 / 16.04.02

This is gonna get me in a whole shitload of trouble, but here goes...
Haus kind of reminds me of Julie Burchill.
(Let me explain... no, really.)
While a lot of the time I think he's talking shit, he's always entertaining. (And a lot of the time he makes complete sense... which is where the Burchill analogy falls flat, I'm afraid.)
And I get the impression he puts a lot of time into thinking what he's gonna post before he posts it. Which I think we (me especially) could all learn from.

08:12 / 16.04.02

Haus's no shark. Just some soft piece of flesh hanging in the water. Twitching. Piece a entrail, maybe, maybe chum. And sooner or later, real shark's gonna come along, eat that piece of flesh right up.

Funny fella. Can't sail worth a damn. Out on the water, just waiting, with his shiny new boat and his thousand dollar shirts.

But in the meantime, ain't he just whoop dee do.

10:28 / 16.04.02

I have a schoolgirl crush on the Haus. But it's not really a normal schoolgirl crush ("Omigod, I hope he notices me!"). It's sort of a hostage-falling-for-hir-captor crush ("Omigod, I hope if he notices me he doesn't think I'm trying to be a hero!").

10:55 / 16.04.02

God knows why I'm doing this, but:

Haus is, 90 per cent of the time, an intelligent, articulate (very bloody articulate, the bastard) and witty poster, who challenges assumptions, brings a wealth of knowledge to bear on subjects, and can argue - but also explain - like a demon.

Sadly, for the 10 per cent of the time when EvilHaus takes over and the urge to granstand gets too much, he's a troll with a PhD.

And yes, he is a very self indulgent little puppy...

10:56 / 16.04.02

Ooops, that's grandstand, not 'granstand.'

I hope EvilHaus isn't that evil, anyway...

The Planet of Sound

11:08 / 16.04.02

The Haus does seem to think he's always right, which he isn't, sadly. The Haus also has a tendency to argue in that cloyingly Oxbridge fashion; sesquipedalianism for the sake of it, arguments designed to demonstrate cleverness without (emotive) connection with real issues, to get all Monty Python, automatic naysaying without having truly listened to what others have said. And the Haus is downright rude and unpleasant sometimes. On the plus side, the Haus does act as a catalyst in some of the more interesting debates, and can be occasionally amusing. One does wonder if the sheer volume of writing suggests a certain unhealthiness.

The Natural Way

11:43 / 16.04.02

I've always disliked the term "Fiction Suit", 'cause I have a hard time believing that the poster's IRL personality is really that different from hir online identity. But, if I'm right, our Tannhauser spends most of his time discreetly (I hear he's quiet) shaking his head at other's stupidity - and I can't help wondering how he copes w/ non-lith space where people really do openly bang on about how they "really loved all the different dildos in that lezzer sex programme..." (Haus is not alone in causing me to wonder about this. Maybe I should start a thread?)...

But the idea that Haus "talks shit" or is emotionally disengaged: utter poo. He's one of the most important contributors to the life of this board, keeps everyone on their toes and frequently makes me piss myself. I don't agree w/ him forever and always, but I would never dismiss anything he had to say out of hand - always has me questioning my opinions (perhaps a little too much. Do I have a weak, plastic ego, or what?).

Much cleverer than me, too.

12:28 / 16.04.02

to-wit-to-woo

Matthew Fluxington

13:20 / 16.04.02

This thread is really starting to read like a eulogy.

A

13:46 / 16.04.02

Haus seems all well and good, but his two catchphrases (the one about the penis and the ear, and the one about the tit and the claw) really need to be put out to pasture. (actually, make that "dragged behind a dumpster and shot behind the ear").

Oh, and his oft-spouted opinion on the Invisibles being sexist needs more evidence to back it up, because it ain't very convincing.

I picture him as being a large building where men in leiderhosen swing beer steins to oompah music and eat sauerkraut by the barrel load.

Goodness Gracious Meme

14:01 / 16.04.02

Erm. runce/moderators, you might want to edit that post and take his name out?

re eulogy - was just thinking that myself.

No flowers, please, donations to be sent to the Neely O'Hara Rest Home for faded fictionuits.

Hmm. Starting a thread like this *is* drama queeny in the extreme. That's one thing I definitely associate with 'the Haus'. Other people's self-indulgent threads ask for love or good cheer. Haus asks whether ze's a 'ghastly mistake'.

Bad: extremely judgemental, patronizing, unwillingness to deal with people whose language is different from that of 'the Haus' ie pays lip service to diversity/multiplicity but isnt in fact very good at dealing with it, tendency to turn open-ended debates into adversarial contests where the original enquiry gets lots under the grandstanding.

Good: angry, emotionally engaged, very funny (see slash threads), expresses self well (conversely is sometimes hard to understand) often draws interesting arguments out of others, doesn't shy away from confrontation, bright. And given that ze's around here so much, generally has an enlivening effect on the place.

The Natural Way

14:02 / 16.04.02

I don't think he's ever really accused the Invisibles of being out-and-out sexist, just that it's not quite as right on as Grant, and some of the book's fans, would have us believe. And, really, that's not a hard point to argue - try me if you like. That said, I love the book.

The Natural Way

14:06 / 16.04.02

Sorry - moderators delete name, please (I learnt Haus's IRL name on the board when he revealed it, so I didn't think he'd mind).

Less searchable M0rd4nt

14:56 / 16.04.02

I don't think this is just drama queenyness. If you're getting bad vibes about your behaviour then you need to try and address the problems, no? Not sure that this is necessarily the best way to do it but... fuck, what is the best way? (And that's not a rhetorical question, BTW.)

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