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Identity crisis

Tryphena Absent

22:24 / 12.04.02

I got in to a conversation the other day on the concept of having a mid life crisis early, in your teens or early twenties, and have continued it with a number of people since... usually starting by asking whether they've had an identity crisis and how old they were when they had it. Thinking about it during this time I realised that mine was brought on because I'm bisexual and the lack of support and information surrounding me really made it a lot worse then it had to be. I pretty much withdrew in to myself when I was 14 and then again when I hit 17 but I don't think it's a bad thing mostly because it's made me a lot more independent then a lot of people I know...
really I'm posting this because I was wondering how many people think they've had one, what brought it on or contributed to it and how closely it fit with their sexuality particularly if any of you are bi because I've always found myself floating between two worlds with it and can't imagine an identity crisis without it hanging in the background.

06:11 / 13.04.02

i think i've been lucky in that my sexuality has rather been my saviour, although perhaps it *is* easier for me in that i identify as a dyke, and so have a 'scene' and community all ready for me whenever i want it. it is there for bisexuals, but it's not as apparent - you have to dig for it a bit. perhaps there was a crisis of sorts, when i was much, much younger - say, seven or so. when i wrote 'i am a lesbian' on a scrap of paper, and promptly burnt it, because it was too dangerous to keep it. the problem then was lack of information/support. i actually thought for a long time that my gender was fucked up - that i was a genitally disfigured boy. because girls didn't feel about girls the way i did. this was reinforced daily at primary and secondary school by other pupils and sometimes the teachers, too. so, an early life crisis, rather than a mid life one. i've just turned 35, and for the last few years i've felt myself changing. i've been aware that there would be a 'third life' for me: 1)terribly unhappy, bullied, abusive relationship with man 2)come out, shag as many women as possible, get drunk, a late teenage i suppose and 3) wasn't sure, but i knew i needed something else. now i know where i'm going. but that's not a crisis either and it's more linked to spirituality than sexuality. that bit was sorted long ago!

i see sexuality as a map, of sorts. we're all on there. you, as well, rather than floating from 'one side to another'. i don't see bisexuality like that.

06:20 / 13.04.02

I recently had an extremely lengthy (and very pleasurable) conversation with a friend of mine who feels that he's going through his mid-life crisis at the age of thirty. When pressed, he drew a parallel between his crisis of identity and his degree of artistic achievement (he's acted in several plays, but always given up during repeated attempts to write them). I think he essentially felt that 'if by a man's works shall ye know him', then he didn't quite cut it as a complete person - which is, of course, utter nonsense, but it did get me thinking about the concept of defining oneself through our creative endevours.

At 25, I've never had much of a problem with my own identity, but - I'm beginning to suspect - only because I keep renewing that identity with creative works. I suspect that the day I stop writing will be the day I start to question my place in the world (and I'm sure that most people define themselves through a similar abstract, whether it be art, their sexuality, their company, or whatever).

We really need Ganesh for this one...

14:57 / 13.04.02

i'd like give some perspective on the topic as someone possibly experiencng this at the moment. i hope this doesn't trivialise the discussion.

that's a very astute observation tez. i feel lately as if i'm heading towards/in the midst of a very major transition in my life (whether or not you'd call it a crisis is up to you, i don't see it as such but i hope this still fits into the thread). a major component in this is a sudden lack of definition in my life. i'm the eternal devil's advocate, and have always found social roles by opposing whatever the popular opinion was. well that's kind of run it's course, as i see myself moving past the "angry young man" thing. i see now that by occupying a role defined by my company i have effectively cut myself off from many of my own pleasures and desires. i also defined myself by my creative outlet (art/film), which no longer seems like it should be a role, but an expression of one.

i'd like to see how this compares to some other peoples' thought processes during times of change/crisis. can you guys be more specific about what was going through yer head during these transitions?