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Scratchiness Autoignore Settings

  
  

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ONLY NICE THINGS
10:35 / 08.04.02
From Mr. Knodge's "I'M IGGYING HAUS" thread:

Deva:

I'm quite into the ignore button, actually, bk, because it means if a thread goes off in two directions, one of which is interesting and one of which isn't, it's easier to pick a path through the interesting bit. It's not aggressive to the ignored discussion (as in RL putting your hands over your ears publicly would be), it just allows you to create your own version of the discussion. It's cool. It means, potentially, that no two people have the same experience of the same thread. Which I also think is cool.

It also means that I can continue contributing to threads even after someone who really winds me up has joined in, without just getting really wound up and going elsewhere. Well done whoever thought of it!

And I have to confess I do find the idea of ignoring Haus amusing, if only because the whole board must look so completely different... Maybe I'll ignore Haus and Ganesh and see what happens. Hey, maybe we could extend this whole ignore function so you were ignoring content rather than source somehow? "Ignore all threads with QUEER in the topic abstract." "Ignore all threads without BLAKE'S 7 in the topic abstract." Oooh...


Moi-meme:

The Haus where we first met

moderate post
At 12:51 08.04.2002:

Or, even better, we could have a "scratchiness" level, where you can set how scratchy you are when you log in, and it will shield you from comments that are likely to piss you off.

So, for example, my low scratchiness setting would only edit out Mr. Knodge's views on women, Jack F's views on body modification, and Illfigure's views on homosexuals.

At medium scratchiness, anything remotely derogatory about sexy Lexy Luthor, any use of the Head Shop for het flirting, and any post about sex likely to make me spontaneously regrow my maidenhead will be filtered.

At high scratchiness anything disagreeing with my evil plans for the world, or even agreeing with them but in the wrong way, would be removed. The screen would be clean and cool, and soothing music would play at all times

So, what would you have removed from your view of Barbelith on low, medium and high scratchiness?
 
 
bitchiekittie
11:05 / 08.04.02
low: any verbal boot-licking of Famous Fucks I Hate, particularly buffy

medium: anyone who claims that mention of sex makes them not want to have it anymore. this makes me wonder why on earth these sensitive folks want to have any relationships anymore (friends/families/lovers), after wandering about the internet long enough you see evidence that they all suck a fair amount of rancid ass.

high: everyone who isnt in ultra-hippy love mode will cease to exist for my viewing pleasure
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:12 / 08.04.02
Point of information, kittie - I don't think anyone has yet suggested that the mention of sex makes them not want to have it anymore. People have said that the *way* certain people talk about sex makes them not want to have it anymore. Very different thing.
 
 
bitchiekittie
11:20 / 08.04.02
ah, but there is never clarification as to why. how can people change their evil ways when all they get is a "ew, that turns me off of sex" rather than an explanation as to why something is perceived to be offensive/repulsive/dull beyond tolerance?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
11:24 / 08.04.02
Default scratchiness:

basic moronity.

Medium scratchiness:

Sad sacks who constantly re-iterate the same vaugley-held notions whilst somehow managing to avoid exploring these concepts in any depth, and who keep telling us how clever they are to do so.

Attempts to impress other posters by the uncredited appropriation of other people's ideas, particularly if said ideas have been blatantly nicked out of a comic.

Those comments which imply that "straight woman" equates to "wannabe Barbie whose sole ambitions in life are to squat out 2.4 kids and have a pink Smeg fridge".

High scratchiness: Anything which even remotely questions the genius which is Blake's Seven.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:34 / 08.04.02
You can get pink smeg fridges? Fucking rock!

Ahem. Sorry. I am that barbie girl.
 
 
bitchiekittie
11:38 / 08.04.02
Im alarmed at the idea of pink fridges. Im doubly alarmed that I dont know what a smeg fridge is but it sounds rather rude
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:56 / 08.04.02
And faintly disgusting.

Rest easy, bk - the Smeg fridge is not dsesigned to keep smeg at acceptable temperatures. Smeg are a Scandiwegian white goods company whose fridges are the gold standard for all Londoner refrigeration snobbery, not least because to have one means that you have a kitchen big enough to contain it, which is in itself a sign of great prosperity. Imagine a Ford Zodiac standing on its end in a suburban kitchen, with an ice tray instead of the glove compartment, and you're getting there.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:02 / 08.04.02
But are the negative consumerist associations of wanting a big expensive pink fridge outweighed by the fact that the person expressing a desire for the item is breaking with stereotypical assumptions about gender as it relates to the perceived pink-Smeg-fridge-buying demographic? If so, would there be a similar weighting if the fridge was red?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
17:07 / 08.04.02
They have red Smeg fridges?

Fucking ROCK!

Ahem. Sorry.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
17:08 / 08.04.02
It should be noted that the allegory to the Zodiac is redundant as this model was never made available in North America.
 
 
Ierne
17:12 / 08.04.02


hope this works.
 
 
Captain Zoom
17:15 / 08.04.02
Smeg - Swedish for Yuck.

(Ikea joke.)

Zoom.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
17:17 / 08.04.02
As an alternative I would suggest that use of the Ford Rooster be used as a suitable alternative. While differing in shape from the Zodiac it does occupy a comparable volume and even has well rouded lines which are some what more of a similarity to a SMEG.

  
 
Ierne
17:17 / 08.04.02


The red ones totally rock!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
17:18 / 08.04.02
So, you have neither Ford Zodiacs nor smeg fridges?

No disrespect, but the elction of a psychotic monkeyboy with an alarming facial resembling to the banjo-playing albino out of Deliverance becomes ever more understandable. I'm amazed we haven;t all perished in the nuclear fires yet.
 
 
bitchiekittie
17:58 / 08.04.02
Ive seen ones with art reproduced on the front....although I cant seem to find them on google. how disappointing, they were quite interesting
 
 
that
18:16 / 08.04.02
A (male, heterosexual) American friend of mine was practically orgasmic over SMEG fridges when he saw one over here... I think it was silver though...
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
18:25 / 08.04.02
Everyone goes orgasmic over those SMEG fridges.

Everyone.

Uh... excuse me.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
18:26 / 08.04.02
I don't.
 
 
wembley can change in 28 days
20:08 / 08.04.02
I think I'm about to...
 
 
Ierne
20:16 / 08.04.02
If you saw what passes for a fridge in what passes for my kitchen, you'll understand why I posted two Smegs.

Still loving that red one...think of all the film, nail polish and booze I can stick in that....ooo-ee!
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
21:01 / 08.04.02
I think we've just unearthed another communal Barbe-kink. There's nothing for it now but to go and start a Sex With Your Household Appliances thread.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
09:05 / 09.04.02
Oh God... not the gender-mapped appliances again... that nearly killed me last time. (But I DID learn what a salad shooter was. Who says fluff's uneducational.)
I'd have to be really really scratchy to not want to hear about appliances in an amusing, or just plain rude, context.
 
 
Ierne
12:42 / 09.04.02
not the gender-mapped appliances again...– Moominstoat

Not in my case, dammit!

My fridge at home is about two feet cubed, BEIGE(!!!!!), and can fit about five rolls of film, three bottles of nail polish, a four-pack of Greene King IPA and possibly a miniscule chunk of Brie. That's only if it's defrosted.

  
 
Cat Chant
19:30 / 09.04.02
Low scratchiness: Anything suggesting that the poster is more tolerant and inclusive than other, lesser, mortals, and hence that any disagreement must be because the disagreer has something wrong with hir head. Or anything implying that Schindler's List has any redeeming qualities. Also, dick-measuring competitions, particularly when disguised as intellectual defences of each side's position/phrasing.

(Hmmm. I think my default scratchiness might be higher than other people's. Deva the Scratchy And Humourless Feminist.)

Medium scratchiness: Anything dismissing whatever theorists I'm highly invested in at the time (currently Derrida, Butler, Walter Benjamin, & Hardt & Negri). Overkill in responding to a spelling error or criticism of premises/assumptions. Heterocentrism. Boys who go on about how erotic it is when girls talk about sex instead of talking about sex in their own terms.

High scratchiness: Anything which even implies that the salvation of the world might not involve all of us becoming gender outlaws on a Bloody Big Spaceship and wearing huge nylon shirts while careering about finding communications stations to blow up and having peculiar forms of sex which definitively decouple sex from humanity.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
10:45 / 10.04.02
Jesus... my low scratchiness criteria are exactly the same as Deva's...

Medium scratchiness: goth-taunting, especially when it implies that kicking the shit out of goths/alternative types is OK, and, like, funny... and People Who Think That Barbelith Is Theirs And Theirs Alone. You know who you are.

High scratchiness: Anyone who thinks that the salvation of the world is not singly dependant upon all of us becoming unkillable post-human hunter-gatherers of information and indulging in post-sex shenanigans in a subtly ironic manner.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
11:21 / 10.04.02
Posted by Ierne:
a four-pack of Greene King IPA

It's got beer in? I think I'm in love with it already.
 
 
The Natural Way
11:41 / 10.04.02
Smeg good.

Ignore people who cuss things vehemently, but never give their reasons (a la BK and Buffy). I need to persuade them of just how wrong they are.... AND THEY ARE!!!!

Raaaarrrghhahah!
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
11:47 / 10.04.02
Re: The goth-taunting thing. Oh, yeah, I want a button that'll filter that shit right out of my fucking life, especially people who come out with anecdotes like this: "So, I was walking past this pub, yeah? And this Goth was standing outside talking to his girlfriend, right? So I went up and punched him in the face! He didn't even do anything, just stood there bleeding! What a wally, right?"

Rghghghg.
 
 
The Natural Way
11:56 / 10.04.02
Rgh.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
12:14 / 10.04.02
When you talk about goth-taunting are you talking about the regular eurogoth type or does it include the wannabe Americlone goth because as an ex-goth the latter really deserves tauntification.
 
 
bitchiekittie
12:45 / 10.04.02
runce: I didnt know we were supposed to give reasons! I agree with you - ARGH!

mordant: do people really SAY that?
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
12:47 / 10.04.02
OK then runce, what is it about Buffy that satisfies you in a way that an icepick in the eye can't?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:04 / 10.04.02
the wannabe Americlone goth because... the latter really deserves tauntification. - heterodox

Only if you are an ex-goth or a practicing fogeygoth. It's like when taking the piss out of annoying junior family members: you're allowed to do it, but if someone else picks on them you've got to step in. Anyway, we know how to really wind them up.
 
  

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