French and Talkin' Dirty

14:44 / 04.04.02

I'm on a mission to learn French... But I'm only interested in the pillow and phone sex talk. So what are some good lines that would make you melt ... in French. (and I know that if you don't know French anything can sound sexy but assume that you do...so not only does the tone have to be hot but the content.

1) Write out French line

2) English version.

3) Write it out phonetically (so I know how to pronounce it).

14:58 / 04.04.02

"Baise-moi" is "Fuck me." That would be pronounced "Bayz-mwah."

I'll try and think of some more but I'm out of practice.

(Yes I know it's also "kiss me" but..)

15:09 / 04.04.02

fuck me is the same as kiss me? I love this language!

15:40 / 04.04.02

Well "gros bisous" is (not exactly but basically) "lots of kisses" and is used often at the end of letters. "Se baiser" is to kiss but my French is out of practice and thus I'm a little fuzzy on the difference in pronounciation and such but I can assure you there is one.

Horus lord of force and fire

15:42 / 04.04.02

Besides that french really isn't all that great once you can speak it. Though I did love telling people I had to go to a "French Oral" (exam) back when I was in college...

Spatula Clarke

15:43 / 04.04.02

Je vais et je viens, entre tes reins.

I come and go between your kidneys.

God bless you, Serge.

15:47 / 04.04.02

'fraid I know no French, but if someone can translate this little titbit:

I admit it - I'm a liar! Now sit on my face and call me Pinnochio!

Spatula Clarke

15:49 / 04.04.02

Is this perhaps the result you're looking for, impulsivelad?

16:11 / 04.04.02

yes, that's exactly it, randy.

deja_vroom

16:13 / 04.04.02

vous avez coucher avec moi c'est soir?

wanna shag tonite?
voozavah coosharavakmwah sayswar?

Regrettable Juvenilia

18:01 / 04.04.02

Tu es mon petit singe.

sleazenation

18:25 / 04.04.02

touche pas mon mec, salope!

ok the above only works if a woman you don't like is eyeing up your man, but hey!

19:13 / 04.04.02

T'as du monde au balcon...

19:20 / 04.04.02

Erm...
I admit it - I'm a liar! Now sit on my face and call me Pinnochio!

Je l'admets - je suis un menteur! Allons, assieds-toi sur ma figure et m'appelle Pinnochio!

19:35 / 04.04.02

Just fyi it's "voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir," which according to some french guys I know is the most oft-recited french phrase they here. THey pointed out you would not use the "vous" form if they were asking someone to sleep with them.

"Tu veux coucher avec moi?" "Do you want to go to bed with me?" is what they would say. "Too veut coo-shay ahvek mwah."

Also "Tu es mon petit chouchou" is a french term of endearment, used by Lenny Kravitz in "Spinning Around Over You.."

I would avoid you are my little monkey, although I suppose it all depends..

lolita nation

19:50 / 04.04.02

Cherry Bomb:
"Tu veux coucher avec moi?" "Do you want to go to bed with me?" is what they would say. "Too veut coo-shay ahvek mwah."

Unless of course, they were addressing more than one person...

Good point, lolita.

Creole Lady Marmalaaaaaaaaade!

20:24 / 04.04.02

Perhaps begins with "on peut se tutoyer?" - can we call each other "tu?" - followed by "encoule-moi!".

(note: this is bad French. This is part of the point)

Although I can think of all sorts of situations where "vous" is the correct form of address for a request for sex - the most obvious being if you are asking more than one person.

Baz Auckland

20:41 / 04.04.02

Je t'aime! Je t'aime! Mon petite chien! Mon pamplemousse! Je veux! Je dois tu!

(I love you! I love you! My little dog! My grapefruit! I want! I need you!)

I would gladly take your rooster for a seal
(Je prendrais heureusement votre coq pour un phoque)

What a big rooster!
(Quel grande coq!)

A great seal!
(Une grand phoque!)

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

22:21 / 04.04.02

La mere est une grande chien.

23:42 / 04.04.02

Girlie so groovy, don't know about you, but I am un chien andalusia...

23:43 / 04.04.02

Puis j'emprunter ton stylo?

Grendix

02:33 / 05.04.02

BARRY!!! I am so glad that you also know the Pamplemousse! I love that word, it's my fave french one.

once, while horsing around w/ my older brother inthe kitchen, I brandished the empty paper towel roller thingy at him with these immortal words " Beware, for I am the Vicious Vichysoios!" which means, I am the Vicious Cold Potato Soup!

he promptly fell down laughing.
ah, my life sometimes

MANGE MOI is good too.. means 'EAT ME!"

The Apple-Picker

03:20 / 05.04.02

"voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir" --I've never been to France, but I've heard that this is not the oh-so-gentle "will you go to bed with me tonight" (or "will you sleep with me tonight") but rather "will you fuck me tonight," because coucher is a reflexive, so, se coucher, and in context "Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir," would be the kinder gentler way of asking for a shag. This is all based on my purely academic, rarely exercised knowledge of the language.

Oh, and: "Puis j'emprunter ton stylo?" --Hahhahahahahhahahaa!!!!!!

Hahahhaa!

05:30 / 05.04.02

Thanks but I have no idea on how to pronounce any of these things.

Thanks Cherry for the phonetics.

05:36 / 05.04.02

Dans une discothèque, vers 3 heures du matin:
L'homme:
- Tu me rappelles la mer
La femme:
- C'est parce que je suis sauvage, romantique, excitante?
L'homme:
- Non, c'est parce que tu me donnes envie de gerber

06:35 / 05.04.02

Anyone still convinced by Dao Jones' claims in the Head Shop that gender is inescapable need only look to this thread...

sleazenation

07:56 / 05.04.02

more Tu/Vous controversy vous is often considered apropriate form of address for people older than you... so there is a ready made opportunity to inadvertantly insult your sexual partner's age status...

08:30 / 05.04.02

Ess kuh juh pur-ray met-ruh mon pee-knee don vot-ruh or-ray-yuh?

sleazenation

08:46 / 05.04.02

Somehow, haus, i knew you'd say that...

09:05 / 05.04.02

Look, Sleaze, let's be realistic here - the kid is trying to learn French, but only enoguh to keep his ears warm. This phrase is pretty much a dead cert necessity.