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I had a zoo, in which I kept
A lion, though he mostly slept;
A colony of antelope
And, to give the place some scope;
An elephant with tusks so grand
The poor pachyderm could barely stand;
And two old ladies, not by choice,
Who to their endless chat gave voice
Each morn before the birds were up
Till late each night when they would sup.
And though, dear reader, it was fine
That they should drink my nettle wine,
It irked me rather that they ate
The lion's share of all my steaks.
I determined I'd return the favour,
Give the beast somewhat to savour,
And locked them in his faux savannah,
Desiring, in no gentle manner,
He should eat them, then and there,
From fluffy mules to blue rinse hair.
Alas, alack, the lion demurred,
He merely nuzzled, played and purred,
For each old madam bore a thing,
A bowl of milk, a ball of string,
And thus the creature was seduced,
To household pet he was reduced.
But nature will not be inverted so
Without revenges full of woe;
That night the Moon ran red with blood,
The grass boiled up like Noah's flood,
The serpents stood on tippietoe,
The dogs meowed and darkness glowed,
And lion nor ladies could not cope
With being eaten by an antelope.
[ 15-02-2002: Message edited by: Nick ] |
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