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Virtual Slash: The Greatest BarbeLoveIn Of All Time... Don't Be Shy

 
  

Page: (1)234

 
 
LegsAkimbo
16:07 / 31.07.01
There was a whole introductory piece here about the concept of Barbeslash - writing slash fic about the virtual personas inhabiting this board. Again, for the sake of clarity, this does not mean talking about the posting Barbelites, but rather their fictionsuited and booted alter egos on the board. So gender, and indeed physical form, in these pieces of charged nonsense, is in flux. That is to say - fucked.

Don't want to do it, don't. And please Gawd don't waste the thread with earnest discussion on why you don't approve. It's called threadrot even if it's articulate thought, children, and I'm only interested in the contents of your sleeping bags right now.

[ 05-08-2001: Message edited by: LegsAkimbo ]
 
 
rizla mission
10:40 / 01.08.01
something tells me this isnt going to be pretty.
 
 
Ellis
11:00 / 01.08.01
I just hope someone writes something about me.
 
 
LegsAkimbo
12:17 / 01.08.01
Why not have a nice cup of tea?

[ 04-08-2001: Message edited by: LegsAkimbo ]
 
 
mondo a-go-go
12:54 / 01.08.01
V_Lo
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
00:00 / 02.08.01
Ill say flat out,
I lust after Kali
No denyin it
 
 
LegsAkimbo
14:22 / 02.08.01
Why not have a nice cup of tea?

[ 04-08-2001: Message edited by: LegsAkimbo ]
 
 
Jack Fear
17:05 / 02.08.01
Flattery will get you nowhere.
 
 
deletia
23:12 / 02.08.01
I think legs is looking for Barbelith-centred erotic stories/vignettes, if at all possible involving queer sex, rather than the usual barbecrush confessio amantis.
 
 
LegsAkimbo
23:12 / 02.08.01
Why not have a nice cup of tea?

[ 04-08-2001: Message edited by: LegsAkimbo ]
 
 
z3r0
17:44 / 03.08.01
officialy confused here.
 
 
LegsAkimbo
18:21 / 03.08.01
Why not have a nice cup of tea?

[ 04-08-2001: Message edited by: LegsAkimbo ]
 
 
LegsAkimbo
22:15 / 03.08.01
Why not have a nice cup of tea?

[ 04-08-2001: Message edited by: LegsAkimbo ]
 
 
LegsAkimbo
22:18 / 03.08.01
It's more a question of disqualification, if you catch my drift. Although the piece may be returned if it can hide in plain sight, if you catch my drift.
 
 
LegsAkimbo
22:24 / 03.08.01
quote:Originally posted by LegsAkimbo:
And of course, the beauty of writing slsh about virtual personas is that gender is perpetually in a state of flux. So there's creativity for the artist and a challenge to the theory bitches. And some throbbing moistness would be nice, too.


Why not have a nice cup of tea?
 
 
LegsAkimbo
22:34 / 03.08.01
How much more "hiding in plain sight" can you get than a thread in which all the characters named are explicitly fictional and pan-gender?
 
 
Alice
06:52 / 04.08.01
<slaps table> Have a cup of tea INDEED! Well, I'm afraid I just haven't the time!
 
 
Cherry Bomb
17:30 / 04.08.01
I know I want to find dirty stories about me here...


and yet, I'm afraid...
 
 
Cavatina
00:54 / 05.08.01
With good reason I think, especially, if as I suspect, you've actually met and are friends with some barbelithers who might be protagonists in a fanfic creation with you. As I understand it, the fanfic fakery (practical joke?) called for here is predicated on the notions that:
(a) there's sex in every relationship.
(b) sometimes it's more present precisely because you aren't doing it.
(c)talking/writing about having sex with friends is a turn-on (or some form of radical theoretical chic).

However in real life we've probably all experienced times of erotic attraction to friends (whatever their gender) and there've been good reasons why such moments of recognition have not been discussed, let alone acted upon. In my experience this makes the bond more special, not less. I don't want to come across as a moral puritan here - it doesn't become me - but I will own to being romantic personally, and I have a feeling that any graphic descriptions of sex between fiction suit barbelithers may still carry a sufficient charge of reference to 'the real' for them not to be pleasurable or welcome in the long run.
 
 
LegsAkimbo
16:47 / 05.08.01
Mmmm... honey, you want to talk about whether we should do it, this really isn't the place. We just want to do it.

But (for the hard of reading, possibly) let's get this out of the way again. We're talking about writing slash about fictional people. In other words, forget what you know about the Barbelite behind the fictionsuit. It isn't relevant unless you want it to be.

Oh, and by the way... I lent my virtual body to you beautiful flowery skylovers to use in wild abandon. Humourless tea drinkers aren't the kind of folks I like inside me. For one thing, they have dry raspy tongues and smell of urine and sweetcorn. So if you want to participate in a love-in the size of Ireland, visit angelfire.com, and come back with a different registered fictionsuit - or a playsuit, as I like to call it. Mine's made of PVC. Wipe clean, you know.

I've changed my password, and I'm only letting Barbelites I trust part my ruby lips from now on. I rather suspect this will kill the thread, but what the fuck. I only let people come in my hair if they kiss me nicely afterwards.
 
 
Molly Shortcake
18:29 / 05.08.01
While I haven't read any slash in this thread yet(perhaps it was here and got edited out), it's been really interesting so far.
 
 
Ganesh
19:11 / 05.08.01
Well, for me, it's been far from 'interesting'. I would use the 'LegsAkimbo' suit to tell you why, but some cunt's claimed it already, so what the hey.

I'm disillusioned with the supposed genre of 'slash' for the following reasons:

1) The 'anonymous' fictionsuit has already been requisitioned,

2) I posted what I thought was a suitably generic slash snippet (genders mixed & matched) featuring Flyboy and Rosa; within an hour or so, it was censored (presumably by Flyboy or Rosa), making me question the whole premise,

3) The whole thread was subsequently hijacked and deleted/censored in an incredibly unsubtle way (by Flyboy or Rosa, again?),

4) No-one else has posted anything even vaguely 'slash'; what's the fucking point?
 
 
Molly Shortcake
20:52 / 05.08.01
That's what I found interesting. Claiming suits, editing others posts, the 'morality' issue, etc. Not the original posted intention but fascinating (or frustrating) depending on your point of view.
 
 
Ganesh
09:17 / 06.08.01
Yep. Fascinating/frustrating, undoubtedly - but hardly 'slash' and hardly deserving of the Creation forum. If anything written's gonna be instantly removed, and the whole thread reconfigured, then why bother contributing anything at all?

[ 06-08-2001: Message edited by: Ganesh ]
 
 
Disco is My Class War
09:17 / 06.08.01
Curiouser and curiouser.......
 
 
Whisky Priestess
09:17 / 06.08.01
I don't have long, but . . . (int the style of the vast majority of slash - any spelling/grammatical/stylistic infelicities are deliberate and ironic, so ner)

Tannhauser strolled in through the front door of his glamurous Forest Hill penthouse and shut it behind him with a joyous bang (and there'll be more of those before the thread is through). As he happyly bounded up the stairs to greet his flatmate and lover Jack the Bodiless he smiled sweetly.

"Hello darling! I'm home!" he cried, flinging himself into his sweetheart's ethereal arms. Jack who was baking cookies grinned and wiped a smudge of flour off his lover's pale cheek.

"And how was work?" he asked caringly. "I've just put a WWF video in - do you want to watch it now or shall I finish the washing up?"

Tannhauser's eyes twinkled mischieuovously, he had a surprise up his elegant sleeve.

"No darling, why don't we stay right here. The wrestling can take care of itself."

Jack's ghostly finger tweaked one of the tall misanthroope's permanently erect nipples.

"My favourite man in the kitchen! Well, whatever next!" he whispered softly but saucily.

"I was watching last Tango in Parris" said Tannhauser with urgent lust in his breathy vpoice as he moved to pull the blinds down, stopping to sniff a flower and stroke a tiny kitten that was clinging onto the windowsill.
"and it gave me an idea."

"Oh yeah?" Jack was practicly drooling, they hadn't played erotic food games in at least a week.

Tannhauser pull out a carton of I can't believe it's not Butter anmd pressed teh cold greasy stuff against his lover's invisbl;e, sweaty six-pack.

"Ooo!" squaled Jack. Winth an invisible wink he moved to the cupboard under the sink.

"I'll get the strap-on and the leg-spreaders," he murmured sexily. Tannhauser grinned. This was goign to be the best S&M butter sesssion ever.

"And I'll get the jammmies!" he said.

FIN
 
 
LegsAkimbo
14:13 / 06.08.01
Now that's more like it... 'Nesh, love, I'll private message you my new password if you like. Then you can play without whatever busybastardbody shutting you down.
 
 
Ganesh
17:59 / 06.08.01
Thankyou, I'd like that.
 
 
Deep Trope
18:44 / 06.08.01
Whisky's olive eyes were open in a moue of desire, her floral-print dress lay discarded on the floor...

No, it's too cruel. I refuse.
 
 
Mordant Carnival
20:26 / 06.08.01
I can't help but feel that there might be more input if people were given the opportunity to register their suits as slash-fodder, with a list of stuff they are never, ever going to do, not ever, with anyone, even if it is artistic. And even if Carnival is wearing the strap-on. And the hat.
 
 
Jackie Susann
09:28 / 07.08.01
"I'm sorry, Sir, so sorry! Please, it'll never happen again!"

DJ Oi looked desperate. His face was puffy and red and tears were beading up in the corners of his eyes. Tight clamps tormented his nipples and strings of clothespegs decorated his sides. His hands were tied high over his head. But by far the worst thing was the pair of heavy Doc Martens hanging from his scrotum, their laces wrapped tightly around his balls. [Your Name Here] slapped one of the boots lightly and set them swinging again.

"Fucking right you're sorry, bitch! You're the sorriest piece of shit I've ever lowered myself to fuck!" He squeezed down on one of the nipple clamps, digging the sharp metal teeth into Oi's tender flesh.

Oi has been neglecting his duties to his master, and YNH's boots had gotten not just dull, but dirty and cracked. All that would change, right here, tonight. The forbidding dominant cast an eye over the pile of toys waiting for his boy Oi -- the cane, the flogger, slappers, chains, mid-sized buttplug, enema kit, No Holes Barred mentholated "Fire" lube, and, of course, a tin of Kiwi boot polish. Oh yes, it was going to be a long night.

[Your Name Here] smiled, and yanked on the boots. DJ Oi's howl rang out across the suburbs.

[Disclaimer: I've never written/read this slash stuff before so I don't really know if I'm doing it right. And I hope this won't offend either of the kids involved, am happy to edit or delete it if it does. Anyway, I'm off to masturbate now.]
 
 
The Cat That Licked the Cream
09:28 / 07.08.01
Well, darlings, isn't this absolutely fabulous? But we need a bit of girl on girl action, do't you think? So here it is...... Enjoy

Sexing the Summit.

Cherry Bomb blew a bubble and watched as her friend sauntered up. The gum was cherry-flavoured, of course, and the red food colouring was painting her full lips a nice, slightly unnatural red colour.

‘You’re so… like… How’d you know I’d be here? And why the fuck are you wearing PVC to a protest? Won’t it get ripped?’ Cherry Bomb was kitted out in the best resistance-fighter attire, her gum the sole reminder that underneath the army pants, tight ‘feminazi’ t-shirt and tough workboots was just a jive-talking chick, after all.

‘I just knew you’d be here. And insurrection is sexy, baby. Besides,’ Dayglo reached out a finger and neatly popped Cherry’s bubble, ‘we gotta give the blockaders something to look at.’

Cherry raised her eyebrows approvingly. ‘Something to look at, alright. Damn, girl, you’re making me hot.’

‘Maybe that’s the point.’ Dayglo looked at Cherry pointedly and then shifted her eyes elsewhere, watching scores of greenies and lefties and queers and socialists and anarchists, people of all different shapes and sizes and backgrounds and political conviction (all kitted out with crammed backpacks and strange assortments of headgear, balaclavas, chicken masks, helmets, you name it) stream out of the subway entrance and down the street towards the giant fence. It was the summit to end all summits. Everyone was here. The WTO. The IMF. The World Bank. Bush and his minions. The assorted representatives of NATO, the FTAA, the G8 leaders, the Commonwealth Heads of Government. Even the Queen was rumoured to be around somewhere inside. They’d spent almost a year building the wall (some said it was bigger than the Berlin Wall) because of all the elements they wanted to keep outside: the People, for a start, but other groups as well. And of course, they were holding it in New York. In high summer.

‘So, hey, honey, you wanna blockade with me?’ Dayglo’s watchful eyes had made the rounds and zoomed back in on Cherry.

‘Sure’. They linked arms and walked off towards the great crazy fence.


*

By the middle of the day, the heat was so intense that Dayglo had to shed her PVC jacket and make do with just a bra and her pants, which were so sweaty inside the shiny material that she thought she might contract some kind of heat rash. Cherry was sitting smack in front of her, her pert ass was sitting right between Dayglo’s legs, at almost just the right angle for some fun, was it not so goddamn hot. They’d been sitting like this, entangled in each others’ (and the people beside them’s) arms and legs for at least an hour.

Blockading was boring. They’d sung the Internationale so many times that Dayglo had begun to make up dirty alternative lyrics to the numerous verses. Cherry had been talking non-stop for the first hour but had lapsed into silence. They were sitting in the middle of the one exit to the summit, which was heavily guarded on the other side and as yet, had not spewed forth any buses, cars, trucks or persons. Considering there was a helipad inside, on top of the New York Times building, Dayglo didn’t think it likely that any would. Okay, she decided. Time for a little blockader entertainment.

She slipped her arm out of the grasp of the person next to her and slid it around Cherry’s waist. Cherry’s head snapped back, a question on her face. ‘Shhhhh,’ Dayglo whispered. ‘Lean back more.’ Cherry’s face turned red but she obliged silently, pushing her tailbone into Dayglo’s already steaming crotch. Mmmm. That was good. Surrounded by bodies, they were bizarrely protected: in the melange of limbs you couldn’t really tell whose was whose. Anyhow, you couldn’t really see much. But Dayglo didn’t particlarly care anymore. She’d had enough of being shouted at by socialists with megaphones. It was time to show them what this protest business was really about. The jolt in her cunt told her that this was totally the right move.

She snaked her hand further around Cherry’s waist to her thigh and let it roam over the fabric of Cherry’s cammo-covered thigh until she reached the inner bit. She Cherry was now leaning back, her head resting on Dayglo’s neck. Cherry wedged a free hand behind her, to play with the zipper of Dayglo’s skin-tight pants. She got it halfway open, open enough to twig to the fact that Dayglo wasn’t wearing any underpants under that PVC.

‘Is this for real?’ Cherry whispered. She chuckled, not so much astonished as amused. She wedged her hand deeper, under the zipper now. Dayglo’s body trembled as Cherry’s fingers found her (by now extremely wet) cuntlips and sliced them open. Dayglo, half-leaning against Cherry and half trying to sit upright, returned the favour by scratching a line with long fingernails up the inside of Cherry’s thigh. To her surprise, the soft, old material gave way. Cherry’s pale, creamy thigh was instantly exposed, along with just a hint of red cotton knickers.

The sun was climbing higher. They were in for a hot afternoon…
 
 
Whisky Priestess
09:28 / 07.08.01
Whew!

But Trope, isn't a moue something you do with your lips? I've been trying to moue my eyes all day and I've got is bloodshot.
 
 
Deep Trope
11:56 / 07.08.01
I believe it's generally facial. If I'm wrong, spank me.

Verbally.
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
12:09 / 07.08.01
moue n : a disdainful pouting grimace [syn: pout, wry face]
 
  

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