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Max Gogarty's Guardian Blog and online 'bullying'

 
  

Page: 12(3)

 
 
Alex's Grandma
23:37 / 21.04.08
There's a sexy party involved somewhere, I'm sure.

I feel as if I should defend him now; he's being (rightly, I guess) slated for being a Mancunian fashionista, with a sub-George interview technique, but on the other hand Joe Stretch has managed to get an almost entirely unreadable novel published by a major UK company, and who even aspires to that much these days?

I doubt I'll ever read FRICTION, but I doff my ironic flat cap to the author, all the same.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
23:42 / 21.04.08
We should get Sax to make friends with him.

OH, COME ON, BARBELITH, why the disapproving faces? What's the point of having our very own actually-damn-good novelist if we can't use him to troll people who would dearly love to be Stewart Home?

Have you all lost your sense of fun?

(EDITED TO ADD- just to clarify, I really, really like Stewart Home. But we've already got one, thanks).
 
 
Alex's Grandma
23:56 / 21.04.08
Mr Sex isn't the only published author affiliated with Barbelith though, is he?

What about Dao Jones? I'm guessing he and Joe would get along famously.
 
 
Phex: Dorset Doom
17:06 / 22.04.08
By the Gods, now FRICTION has Granny making freudian slips. But wait- Mr. Sex=Mr. Sechs=Mr. Six- can we start talking about The Invisibles again? It's actually less painful.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
18:54 / 22.04.08
Funnily enough, no scene in the novel involves dialogue between more than two characters.
 
 
This Sunday
20:02 / 22.04.08
[C]an we start talking about The Invisibles again?

This hasn't all been about The Invisibles? I feel betrayed on many fronts.
 
 
Glenn Close But No Cigar
20:12 / 22.04.08
Even when it doesn't seem like we are talking about The Invisibles, we are talking about The Invisibles. Try to remember...
 
 
All Acting Regiment
15:34 / 23.04.08
It's a rescue mission now.
 
 
GogMickGog
13:27 / 18.05.08
"I am a taker of craps. A singer of songs. A writer of books. An eater of food."

There's an unbearable interview with Stretchy Boy up on 3AM right now (the litururury blog, not the gossipy pages in The Mirror ). Like Paul Morley, Mr Stretch seems content to write like a Craig Brown parody of his own self.

Hum.

Even now, my respect for the aforementioned site and its patrons unspools down the cultural crapper.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
16:27 / 18.05.08
Oh ho! 3AM!

'We' have had run-ins with 3AM.

Let's take some time to note this poem:

he got eaten by a bear

i didn’t see any ‘irony’ in this

it seemed logical

death seems logical to me

logical and sad


... which is actually pretty promising, isn't it?

Anyway, more Stretch- baiting.



3:AM: I believe you studied politics at Manchester University: why not the more obvious choices of literature or creative writing? When did you become serious about writing?

JS: By the time I left home, I hated literature. I (stupidly) thought it frivolous and only wanted to read politics and philosophy. I don’t study creative writing. I’m a Fellow of it in Manchester. I became serious about writing at about ten.

stretch3.jpg

3:AM: You have described Friction, your debut novel, as a warning addressed to a society that is at risk from “too much leisure, too much fun, too much playful rubbish” so there is a political element to it. The protagonists bob “hopelessly on the surface of life” — a life reduced to lifestyle (”In the beginning it was casual,” “Back then, people enjoyed lifestyle. Enjoyed lattes, bruschetta, holidays and cash,” “…leisure time is the only real time,” “It’s like clothes are the only real thing…and fashion the only real time,” “…life is simply the pursuit of pleasure…we bend ourselves in leisurely ways”). The plot is set in the near future, but I get the feeling that you think we have already reached this stage…

JS: Absolutely. But, on the other hand, novels are ruthless in selecting the aspects of society that they wish to examine. I am not currently in the business of evoking “all life”. I’m in the business of picking up the bullshit in Tesco bags and leaving love alone. But, yes, the age of angst and leisure is certainly upon us. It hurts and soothes in equal measure. Sex has escaped from our underwear. I am, for example, offended if a passing person of whatever age of gender, fails to titillate me.

3:AM: The book is indeed awash with sex. There’s Johnny (whose very name is prophylactic-sounding) {...}
 
 
All Acting Regiment
16:36 / 18.05.08
JS: I do like Houellebecq. I like writers who are preoccupied with ideas. It’s something English writers sometimes shy away from. And yes, I firmly believe that certain discourses of liberation have, as well as “setting people free”, been damaged by a culture of forgetting to the extent that we buy, we survive, we fuck each other’s brains out with no sense of the prior debate, the struggle, the reasons, the cost. We have forgotten, for example, that leisure was developed to solve the labour problem. We feel that the crown of leisure was placed neatly on our heads by God himself. Idiots.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
16:46 / 18.05.08
What's great is, that if you hadn't read the book, you'd assume that this was actually a novellist talking. It's like someone who put a stone on top of a brick leaning back and saying 'Architecture is the driving force of my life; we are all architects. The Parthenon, you know, great use of space.'

With this fake authority, he's acting out everything he's claiming to be against: could he be any more frivolous?
 
 
Spatula Clarke
17:46 / 18.05.08
I’m in the business of picking up the bullshit in Tesco bags and leaving love alone.

I'm sorry, but is that supposed to actually mean something? 'Cause from where I'm sitting, it's just a random scramble of words.
 
 
Phex: Dorset Doom
18:14 / 18.05.08
We need to send this guy a letter. Something along the lines of that really awkward and hurtful conversation that everyone has with their parents where they say something like 'We're not angry with you, just disappointed'.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
02:49 / 19.05.08
We have forgotten, for example, that leisure was developed to solve the labour problem. We feel that the crown of leisure was placed neatly on our heads by God himself. Idiots.

I must say, I'm confused as to what this might mean. Would anyone care to have a go at breaking it down?
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
05:53 / 19.05.08
I'm guessing that the first sentence is a variation on 'we created alcohol and greyhound racing to give the so-called working classes something to spend their money on and so need to work to get more of it'. The second sentence I'm hazarding is missing an 'instead' at the front of it, we've all forgotten where we've come from, it's the death of social classes etc.

I really want to smack this guy in the probic vent.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
08:50 / 19.05.08
I am, for example, offended if a passing person of whatever age of gender, fails to titillate me.

This, however, is a quite funny brand of beauty fascism, albeit straining so hard for controversy that a hernia would seem to be in the offing.

I bet he is the most ordinary, tedious person ever when he's not being interviewed. (Rather than the most posturing, tedious person).

"I do not STUDY Creative Writing. I am a FELLOW in it!!!"
(implied: YOU WORMS!)

Genius genius. I can't believe he's getting a stipend. And I wonder if it's the MMU course he's a FELLOW on/of.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
09:00 / 19.05.08
Nope, it's Manchester University - the one that also has Martin Amis, who I'm sure can give Joe advice about being a cocky, sex-obsessed twentysomething debut novelist.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
13:42 / 19.05.08
It's manifestly NOT the MMU course - Lol - where his friend, the good author Royle (also the person who got him published) works. This was made quite clear in several angry letters to the Guardian literary review!

"I do not STUDY Creative Writing. I am a FELLOW in it!!!"

... and certain people could tell certain stories about how he got this position, too. Except they're all really boring.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
13:53 / 19.05.08
I suppose I've already mentioned that i-D magazine started having a book review section in order to say that the novel, set in the 'heaving bars of Manchester', was like 'Kafka with cum shots'.

Also funny, is that on the front of the novel it says 'Anthony Burgess is alive and well, and living in Manchester' (Royle); then you open it on a random page and read 'Hold my cock - squeeze it, you bitch. And do you know? she did.'
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
14:00 / 19.05.08
we buy, we survive, we fuck each other’s brains out with no sense of the prior debate, the struggle, the reasons, the cost. We have forgotten, for example, that leisure was developed to solve the labour problem. We feel that the crown of leisure was placed neatly on our heads by God himself.

Who's "we?" Got a rat in your pocket? Pillock needs to get a proper job.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
15:09 / 19.05.08
Yes. That's a worrying convention today, actually - that people seem to put 'we' when it would be more honest to say 'I'.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
15:10 / 19.05.08
And of course, if that makes the point seem less true than it did when 'we' were all cocking up, that can only be a good thing.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
16:00 / 19.05.08
Look, this is all very funny, but you do realise the joke's gonna be on you when it turns out Joe Stretch doesn't actually exist, and it's just some dumb performance/publication art thing in which Stewart Home gets someone to pretend to be the wanker narrator of "C***" for a laugh, right?

...right?

..That IS what's gonna happen, isn't it?

...please?

...mummyimscared...
 
 
All Acting Regiment
16:02 / 19.05.08
He's all too real. You can buy tix to watch the band.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
16:15 / 19.05.08
He's all too real. You can buy tix to watch the band.

*tries to remain in happy, safe place*

Yeah, my mate has a signed poster from when Spinal Tap played the Albert Hall...
 
 
Mysterious Transfer Student
17:42 / 19.05.08
This post reads as though it's playing D*vil's Adv*c*te, but it isn't... I'd like to mention that I saw Joe Stretch and his band (We Are) Performance live a couple of years, long prior to both brackets and this current unpleasantness, and they were - okay. Strong element of Ian Curtis via Julian Barratt to his stage persona, which I can tolerate in small doses. But then my taste in music is notoriously awful.
Or am I confusing them with the White Rose Movement? 2006 was so long ago, the Bleach thread hadn't started yet, I might as well have been wearing plus fours in wedding photos for all the relevance it has to now.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
17:47 / 19.05.08
That's as may be...

...but...

Strong element of Ian Curtis

I bow to no man in my love of Joy Division, but...

...by all accounts Ian Curtis was a fucking nob too. Had he written a novel, then Christ knows. And The Ass Saw The Angel, Beautiful Losers, or The Adventures Of Lord Iffy Boatrace?





IN B4 "GET YOUR COCK OUT" (Zodiac Mindwarp. Fuck that Mark Manning shit. You're not fooling anyone. I remember. I KNOW you're from space). Which is actually MOAR AWESOME than And The Ass..., but a lot sillier.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
04:54 / 20.05.08
I've also read 'Get Your Cock Out'.

It's not as good, IMVHO, as 'And The Ass Saw The Angel', but it's better than 'Friction'

Titter ye not ...
 
 
Alex's Grandma
06:07 / 20.05.08
Funnily enough, no scene in the novel involves dialogue between more than two characters.

More seriously, I'm beginning to wonder if you shouldn't perhaps declare an interest here, AAR.

Who'd heard of Joe Stretch before he was mentioned by your good self, and now he's the subject du jour, it seems.
 
 
GogMickGog
07:43 / 20.05.08
For my sins, I had heard of the Stretchy one before - indeed, I was glad other lithers had so I could whinge a little and generally repress my jealousy under torrents of bile.

With Stoatie on Master Manning - 'Crucify Me Again' was a founding text of my adolescence. Explains so very much.
 
 
GogMickGog
11:58 / 28.01.09
Oh Lor'

Saw Stretchy boy when he stepped in for M.J. Hyland at a reading last night in fair Manchester.

Palsied and strapped into skinny jeans, he took to the stage to engage in 'banter' and 'read' from his latest 'book'.*

The man resembles nothing so much as a post-NME Alan Partridge, were the blazer black and ironically dishevelled and the utter lack of self-knowledge traded for a sense that, deep down, he knows none of it means a thing.

Christ I'm depressed.

* Can you feel the irony?
 
  

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