Dear Barbelith
It has been a long time since I left the board. I didn’t do a leaving thread at the time because I didn’t feel that I had anything particularly useful or constructive to say. Basically being on the board was not that healthy for me and I gather that not everyone appreciated my contributions. The time I was posting on the board was my time at university and although it was a good time in some ways, there were also some struggles which were partly reflected in the way I approached the board. I wish that I had thought a bit harder about some of the things I posted and perhaps been a bit less rude to certain people. I wish I could say that I never meant any harm, but I don’t think that would be entirely true. I was out to cause trouble at times, and I can’t really offer any justification for that. Youse guys were generally just minding your own business and I did take some of my own crap out on you, so I apologise for that.
Having said that I have been amazed by the level of spite that certain people have displayed towards me on the board. There was one thread where I posted an email exchange that I had had with a girl at uni, and it was all pretty regrettable. Some people were critical of me in the thread in a constructive way, and I took on board what people had to say. It may be hard for some people to believe that you can go through life not understanding certain basic things about how to relate to other people, but that is entirely possible. I wish I hadn’t been in that position but I was. It was right for certain people to tell me I was out of order. There were however certain remarks that were just abusive, and there were some people who didn’t say anything constructive in the thread but posted unkind remarks later on. All I will say about that is that perhaps those people could have a little more faith in the ability of people to learn and to change their ways. Maybe you (you know who you are) could have explained to me how I was coming across to you and I could have learnt from it. If you know better than me about something then please tell me about it and give me a chance to understand. Don’t just write me off. You wouldn’t appreciate someone taking that attitude to you, and you know that you’ve done something to someone at some time that might warrant it.
I want to say specifically to Flyboy – respect to you for the fact that you’ve got principles and you’re not afraid to be unpopular. We haven’t always got on and a great deal of that has been my fault. I think you were right to say that my contribution to the board was negative overall. I’m aware of that as well and I’m not proud of it. There is more to me than the thoughtless and argumentative jerk you encountered previously. I give you my word on that.
Haus – I would like to say one thing – being right isn’t everything.
Smoothly – you’re a top banana. Cheers for putting me up that time, and I hope we can meet again sometime. Please say hi to the mrs for me.
Seth – You’re the guy that first introduced me to this site. It’s a shame that me being here didn’t turn out to be constructive. If I don’t speak to you again, please take care of yourself.
Stoatie – Never really got to know you but you always struck me as someone with bags of character. Hope you’re doing well.
Oulabelle – I don’t think you ever spoke to me directly, but you made your feelings about me pretty clear. As i said to Flyboy, there is more to me than you have seen on this board. Your attitude towards me was pretty hurtful and I can’t help wondering what I did to you to deserve it.
Ex – as I said to you when I met you, your posts were awesome. Very thought provoking and always a highlight of any thread.
Diva - top banana
Jack the Bodiless – You and me have never agreed on anything and I can personally live with that. I’m not sure why you felt the need to attack the board indiscriminately at times. Actually, come to think of it I do because I did the same...
Jack Fear – your thoughts about God were intriguing and I never did hear any more of them. These days I more subscribe to the old adage “never discuss politics or religion”. Still, never say never...
That’s about everything/everyone I can think of right now. Oh of course, Xoc, what a nice chap. Hope you’re well.
This does not mark my return to the board. Being on the board wasn’t healthy for me back then and it isn’t healthy for me now. Partly I just spend enough time at work staring at screens, and partly I’d just rather talk to people in the flesh. I felt that I should set certain things straight though before I leave the board forever, and I wasn’t in a position to do that at the time I left.
Oh, and Tom Coates – thanks for being sorry that I was leaving. Most kind of you in the circumstances. Hope you’re well.
I’ll keep an eye on this thread for a while to see what people may have to say. Since this is my last ever thread I would respectfully ask that people don’t use it to revive old grudges. If you’d like to say a farewell or comment on any of the things I’ve had to say, please feel free. Otherwise, farewell Barbelith and may life treat you well.
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