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Jerry Falwell Dies

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17:39 / 15.05.07

I would have put this in the switchboard but I have a feeling that a fair amount of spleen will be vented and invective let loose.

BBC report here

17:53 / 15.05.07

It is in the aftermath of news like this that I always hope all the more fervently that God exists. And that He is vengeful beyond comprehension.

18:11 / 15.05.07

Did someone say spleen?

18:16 / 15.05.07

Did they find the skins of dead children drying in his attic yet?

18:25 / 15.05.07

sigh..first Yaweh Ben Yaweh and now Jerry.. who's next?

18:30 / 15.05.07

MSNBC punked by whitehouse.org tribute to Falwell.

That's dot-org, not dot-gov. The satire site.

19:07 / 15.05.07

Unfortunately, being dead, I give it two weeks before people who couldn't stand him, and indeed rightly stood against him, start lionizing and sainting.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

19:09 / 15.05.07

I know I should be saying something grownup and useful now, about how when we hate we only harm ourselves and how death will come to all of us sooner or later and he was a human being too and so on and so forth but all I can think of is HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU I HOPE YOU GET ONE GOOD LOOK AT YOUR GOD AS HE BOOTS YOU DOWNSTAIRS YOU INFECTED PUS-FILLED FISTULA ON THE RECTUM OF HUMANITY.

19:23 / 15.05.07

I had never heard of this man before and had to wikipedia him, when about twenty threads mushroomed out of thin air on another board. From the reactions so far he seemd to have been quite the polarising person.

19:30 / 15.05.07

I'd feel more passionate if he were the last or the only of his kind. Unfortunately, they're legion. Bunch a demonic pigs in need of some massive social surgery.

20:33 / 15.05.07

Best tribute possible.

But if that's not bilious enough, Falwell's greatest hits.

MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!

21:14 / 15.05.07

The man spent a lifetime choking on his own moral rectitude and hate for more than three-quarters of humanity, making a living by preying on the gullible, foolish and fearful. He probably spent 90% of his life full of rage, and died cursing the filthy heathens, watching the world get more and more progressive and intelligent while he futilely tried to stem the tide like a little Christian Dutch boy sticking his finger in the tsunami.

I can't bring myself to pity, quite, but he had a miserable life and now it's over. Ehh.

Moving on.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

21:15 / 15.05.07

Can somebody please convince me that hell actually has a literal existence? I think I'd like that at the moment.

Brigade du jour

21:17 / 15.05.07

Stoatie, you ever been to Barking?

21:23 / 15.05.07

Stoatie, you ever been to Barking?

I thought that read 'Barstow.'

I didn't even blink.

See, I'm actually pulling for Falwell on the afterlife kick. Because if he's not fixed there... well, if I end up in the same place, I'll have to deal with it all over again, and one lifetime/world having a Falwell in it is more than enough. Now, if that involved fixing him with fishhooks and a shower of cheap vodka and magick stay-lit matches? I might consider looking the other way and singing to myself. For the greater good.

21:29 / 15.05.07

I don't even live in a country where this man's words could reach people like he did in the U.S., but I feel bad and hypocritical for feeling good and that the world is a better place by the man's death.

21:43 / 15.05.07

Surely hell is closer to Norwich, what with it actually having a town called Diss on its outskirts...

Mon Oncle Ignatius

22:18 / 15.05.07

I give it two weeks before people who couldn't stand him, and indeed rightly stood against him, start lionizing and sainting.

I bet it doesn't take even two weeks...

I can't say I'm glad he's dead, not really, because someone somewhere probably loved him. Didn't they? But as seems to be the consensus here, let's hope for a literal red-hued, overly warm afterlife of red hot pokers and unpleasant spikey seats, eh?

Oh, and Hell is also a village in Norway.

*

22:40 / 15.05.07

Unfortunately, being dead, I give it two weeks before people who couldn't stand him, and indeed rightly stood against him, start lionizing and sainting.

Decadent, I hadn't realized you'd passed on as well. I'm so sorry to hear the news. I wish you all the best of your afterlife.

22:47 / 15.05.07

Is he still dead? Thought he would have been coughed back up by now?

00:42 / 16.05.07

Better late than never.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

00:50 / 16.05.07

No worries ladies and gentlemen, we still have Pat Robertson. And he can still leg press half a ton, which means if you don't believe in god he can kick your door in and make you...with one of his healthy milkshakes!

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

02:24 / 16.05.07

Late to the party, but I put this up on my LJ earlier.

Childish? Indeed.

02:53 / 16.05.07

Closer than Norway.

Well, to me, anyway.

Spyder Todd 2008

03:12 / 16.05.07

Normally I'd feel guilty about something like this, but I honestly think I'm going to have a celebratory drink. Sorry, Jerry, but I can't think of a single good thing to say about you. You hypocritical, hate-mongering, dead bastard. I honestly hope for a literal afterlife, so that a literal Jesus can look at him, give him the finger, and then just walk out and say nothing. That would give me absolute satisfaction.

04:27 / 16.05.07

I snagged his soul at the moment of his death. Most of it, anyway. (I tore it accidentally. Some got away. Nasty little fucker. It's like a scene outta Spider-man 3) That's it there in the jar.

If anyone here would like to bid on this one-of-a-kind piece of pop culture memorabilia, get in touch with me via PM. If there are no takers here, it will go up for auction on ebay next week.

05:28 / 16.05.07

Ouch, wonder if he's in the Bardo getting shit right now... I feel wierdly sorry for him if so.

06:36 / 16.05.07

is it true he was found with his pants round his ankles and someone else's used condom by his side??

or did i just dream that...

08:00 / 16.05.07

Ognarud said:

"Oh, and Hell is also a village in Norway."

On the same note, there is a dutch town called Helmond, which literally translates as Hellmouth.

It doesn't seem like the gateway to all of damnation though, even though it is an excruciatingly boring place.

09:27 / 16.05.07

Who *are* all these ultra-right evangelist haterz? American 'lith people keep exposing me to caricatured loonies who turn out to be really famous and have two hundred million followers and stuff, when I thought from first impressions they were comedians spoofing the type. Like this dead guy, I had never heard of him and I'm glad.

12:25 / 16.05.07

I had certainly heard of him. The lionising is beginning already.

An Onion article is in order:

Falwell dies in middle of record Spring Bloom

Jerry Falwell, founder of the Moral Majority, died yesterday in the middle of the most florally abundant May on record.

He was found collapsed and unconscious at his desk in his office at Liberty University, whose grounds are currently ablaze with the colour of cherry blossom almost as if heaven itself had come to Earth.

The Arizona Senator, John McCain said in a statement yesterday: "Dr Falwell was a man of distinguished accomplishment who devoted his life to serving his faith and country. Oh! Look outside! The clematis is so heavy with flower. So bright and fragrant! Isn't it just the most beautiful day you've ever seen?" Inhaling deeply, the Senator continued; "Aaaaah! Yes, certainly a tragedy for America and all people of faith. I hope that this sobering news will cause the citizens of America to reflect on their mortality and foster patience and tolerance for all views on religious subjects. Such as the hereafter. God, those rose bushes outside are really showing off, aren't they?"

13:32 / 16.05.07

You should mail that in to the Onion; it's better than what they've already got.

And just for Quantum's browsing pleasure, a genuine obituary from christianity.com.

13:59 / 16.05.07

grant, please, my eyes are still trying to recover from reading about that other dude who's name I've thankfully forgotten. They didn't need to see Mohammed, the founder of Islam, was "a terrorist" and a "man of war."
Falwell said that in his opinion, "Jesus set the example for love, as did Moses, and I think Mohammad set an opposite example."

14:01 / 16.05.07

Wasn't Moses' example of love bringing down a series of devastating plagues upon Egypt and drowning Pharoah's armies?

Mon Oncle Ignatius

14:07 / 16.05.07

The best bit from that obit:

"Rev. Jerry Falwell gave his heart and soul to his family, his faith and his country," said Brent Bozell, president of the Media Research Center...

I bet he didn't donate his organs though. They can keep his soul, I'm sure.

And this quote is not exactly complimentary, within the bounds of not-quite-speaking-ill-of-the-dead:

However, the Rev. Barry W. Lynn, executive director of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State, took a different view of the long-time conservative.

"Jerry Falwell politicized religion and failed to understand the genius of our Constitution, but there is no denying his impact on American political life," Lynn said. "He will long be remembered as the face and voice of the Religious Right."

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