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Can I ask what it is that attracts you to Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular, Princess Swashbuckling? -Flyboy
Course you can.
Well, me and Christianity have sort of a history. I was raised in a strongly C of E family and when I was young I was a believer too. I went to the evangelical groups and the "Spring Harvest" celebrations that they hold at Butlins. I remember being on a stage and telling everyone that I'd spoken to God, and I remember crying with happiness about it. But I don't remember what it felt like, I was only eleven at the time.
In between then and now I fell away from Christianity in a big way. I started off as an atheist, then atheist magician, then agnostic magician, then theist witch. At the moment I've pretty much accepted that there is divinity of some sort. But I've no clue how I should approach it or what form it takes.
I suppose Christianity appeals because it is in some ways familiar? I've grown up with and so in some ways it feels like the "natural" choice. This is true to the extent that all my other spiritual choices have, at times, felt a bit pegged on. At other times they haven't. But I suppose I've always, at some level, seen Christianity as something which would make me good and zap the crazy out of me. I know that's silly, but the promises of peace, fullfillment and connection to God are all very tempting. I've realised that I feel disconnected, maybe even "fallen", and that Christianity is supposed to fix that.
Actually, I think that might be the core of it. I feel fallen. I feel like I need redeeming.
As to Catholicism, well, I suppose the mysticism of it. The ritual and colour and age of it. I respond well to ritual and stories and Saints and relics. Perhaps Roman Catholic wouldn't be good for me. I find the whole "Papal Infalibility" thing a bit scary really. But Anglo-Catholic or Old Catholic or Easter Orthodox might be just right. The only problem with those is that there is no community. I'm tired of being alone in faith. I'd like to have people to pray with and worship with.
Seems a little, let's say, odd to me that your first question is about how to acquire an object, rather than a deep faith in a specifically Roman Catholic God.-Fable of the Bees.
I see your point. It's something I'd been thinking about too, oddly. I suppose this comes down to the whole "connection" thing again. I've spent a long time in pagan practices that can, at times, seem very solipsistic. Having something physical, that a lot of other people use too, would make me feel like I was connected to something.
I suppose part of my interest is due to aesthetics too. I like chaplets, but the various evangelical "jesus beads" just don't do it for me. On some level, I'll admit for the sake of truthfullness, there is a part of me that just wants to be involved in something very magical. I suppose a rosary would be a way of advertising that.
I think that probably makes me sound like Madonna, (Queen of Pop, not of Heaven), and like I just want to "play" at Catholicism and wear the pretty beads. I don't think I do. I suppose I've just got this idea that if you change enough on the outside you could change what's on the inside too.
As to faith, well, that's a hard one. I can't say I'm sure of anything at all, but there is some part of me that thinks I should I be. ANd it seems to think that Christianity is what I should be sure of. But I'm not. It's hard. I'd like to believe. I believe it as much as I believe anything else. I suppose part of the rosary thing was "try it and see". SOrt of, dip my toe in and hope I get swept out to sea.
Given that you've obviously got internet access, why didn't you use it to research this question on the hundred of thousands of Catholic sites on the net, or even, say, wikipedia?-Fable of the Bees
Oh, I have. And I've gone to the Catholic church and arranged to start on the RCIA. The priest was very nice actually. He said that I should stay for as long as I was comfortable, and that it should feel like "falling in love" and "click", and that if it doesn't then another path would be better for me. Which was nice.
If I were you, I'd leave Catholicism well alone. By all means save up your pennies for a rosary, by all means enjoy the spectacle of mass - these are, in the end, aesthetic experiences. Faith, though, is something different, something more.-Fable of the Bees
I know, I want it. I don't think I'd be able to enjoy the spectacle without being involved. It would just highlight the lack of connection I felt and make me feel damned. Which would suck.
Now, of course, there's always the Anglican or Episcopal Church. In America, this is a light version of Catholicism; maybe in England, it's just plain protestantism.-SMS
I'm pretty sure that's the case. C of E (which I think is Anglicanism, if I'm talking balls someoeone please tell me) never seemed to do much with the Saints. Except name churches after them.
I would just read up on it and parttake of the communion anyway, without going through the rites of baptism and confirmation- Lord Switch
I don't think I'd feel right doing that. Not just because I'd be lying, but because I'd feel like a thief. If I found out that an initiate in my (current) tradition was actually faking, then I would be very hurt. That person would have had no respect for me or my faith.
Also, I don't think you can understand some of these mysteries without being initiated. That's the point of the initiation. I'm sure I could derive some meaning from it, but that wouldn't be the same thing that all my Catholic peers (who I'd lied to) would be getting.
Also, I'm not an adept. I have no intention of becoming one either.
TBH folks, it looks like Christianity is on it's way for me. Today I spent some time in the (C of E) church, and it was lovely. There was gold and candles and statues. I also spent some in the Catholic church, the priest was bowing and kneeling and things, and that was pretty too. Maybe I was vastly misguided when I thought that protestantism always had dull churches. I think my best bet is probably to spend some time in both Churches/congregations. I'm already fully comped for the C of E, so that's not an issue, and I can do my RCIA for as long as I feel like it's useful. That way I can explore the boundaries of/ needs of / existence of my faith without making any false promises or fucking anyone over.
Is there some ethical flaw in this plan? I kinda feel like moonlighting between churches might be frowned upon, but I can't really think why.
Thanks all for advice/questions so far. |
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