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WHAT IS WITH THE "DECAF" SHIT???
*cue Violin of Minor Pity*
Being a youngster in a fairly crappy smallish city, all one could do was hang out in coffee shops. A lot. Fifteen, sixteen, and seventeen found me drinking an ungodly amount of coffee--temper this also with the smallish city pasttimes of smoking dope, dropping acid, taking pills (including white crosses)--and you've got a seriously jacked-up teenage system. Then one day, as you're driving back from Mardi Gras with your best gays, midway between Mobile and Birmingham, your heart, with its many au laits drunk at Cafe Du Monde before leaving the city and a couple of white crosses before it was your turn to drive, nearly gives out. You spend the remainder of the drive home barely able to function, your heart racing like a scared rabbit, skin ice-cold, your friends freaking out because you can't feel anything at all. In fact, all you remember of the trip home are blurry city lights, Grant Lee Buffalo, and the utter inability to make your heart stop skipping every now and again. You get home, get some sleep, and you're weak the next morning but feeling okay. You figure it was a fluke. You go to a coffeehouse. You order coffee, you drink it. It was not a fluke. So thereafter, since 1995, a common drug that millions of people ingest in some form or another will be denied to you. No coffee, no tea, no soda, nothing that contains caffeine. In fact, for the first couple of years, even decaf makes you sick.
That is why decaf exists. At least for me.
And I make this shit for a living. |
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