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I do not belong to Hella, but we get along well enough. She has always been kind to me, and has expressed a fondness for me. I do not percieve Her as at all evil, or even negative. She is pretty darned neutral as far as I can tell. She isn't, to my perception, so much a Goddess of Death as She is a Goddess of the Dead. The difference, to my mind, is subtle, but important - Especially since I work with Papa Ghede, who is death itself. To my perception, Hela isn't there in the moment any given living being crosses the threshold. She is the able caretaker for those who have crossed it who have not been specifically directed elsewhere. She holds a very important role relative to the mythos: Irretrievability. Even one so powerful as Odin cannot simply get His son back. Once your loved ones have passed into the realm of Death, they're not coming back to you.
I have seen Her as half-dead left/right, and as living on top. I have not yet seen Her as having a skull for a head or otherwise dead on the top half of Her body, but it's been a while since I encountered Her in a context where I'm actually seeing Her directly, instead of Her priestess's body. I percieve Hela as very calm - it's difficult to get an extreme or loud reaction out of Her. This isn't to say She won't be loud for affect, but She's the sort of person for whom that is a concious choice. She tends to speak simply to me. She doesn't try to sound extra impressive or poetic, or unduely harsh. She doesn't shift how She says things to be more blunt or less. She doesn't seem concerned with the exact effect of Her specific words, as long as I understand their meaning. She has occasionally stumbled over finding the right word, which makes me think English isn't really a language She is speaking, but I also percieve that She can speak any language the Dead know - it's simply a matter of being limited by the language itself for conveying meaning.
There is a small group of people in my local Heathen community who work with Her specifically. At first, I was a part of that group because I knew I had work to do with the Dead, and also because, as a member of Seidhjallr, I knew I was often going to and from Her hall, and wanted to pay my respects to Her directly. But I had to leave the group. It took me a while to figure out that the kind of work I am suited to in personality is not quite the same as the kind of work I am able to do by hereditary talent. I seem to be a particular kind of shiny to those of the Dead who have unfulfilled needs, but the result of that attention is that I get overwhelmed and thus sick.
Even then, Hela would not make decisions for me. She knew that I oughtn't be there, but She realized that if She told me to leave, I would think She meant She didn't like me, or that I wasn't welcome in Her hall when that wasn't the point at all. So things ever-so-conveniently shifted in the group logistics until I was finally forced to admit that I didn't belong there, and conciously chose to withdraw. I went to a Blot for Her and specifically told Her I was withdrawing, and She praised me. Two simple words, "Well Done", and yet I was so incredibly relieved to hear them.
She has said that so long as I am able to take care of myself properly, and prevent harm to myself, I am welcome to visit Her hall. All but one of the times I have been to Helheim, it has seemed a bit dark, with stone walls, and quiet shadows of people going about their business, sometimes resolving to clearer images if I got closer to them, but not always.
I've only been into Hela's hall proper - that is, the main dining room where She often sits - once. It was bright and warm with a big roaring fire and many wall torches. Cheerful people were sitting at the table as any family at a feast might. The table was long down the center, and She sat at a chair on a platform that allowed Her to see everyone in the hall, but She did not eat at that time. I don't know if She usually doesn't, or if it was just because She was waiting for me at that time.
That particular time, the door to Her hall was being guarded by Baldr, but I didn't get the impression He normally guards the door for Her. He, too, seemed quite happy, charming, a bit sly - much sexier than I'd imagined, and not quite as statically picturesque. Baldr is much more the child of His father than I expected. I explain this for context - the unexpected-yet-appropriate appearance of Baldr for that occasion is what gives me confidence that my journey was a true one, and that it was, indeed, Hela I was dealing with.
I have only recently gotten to a place in my work where it is not dangerous for me on a personal level to enter Her hall for Oracular Seidh to ask advice of the Ancestors there. I have spoken with Hela through one of Her priestesses during Oracular Seidh, and She has confirmed that I am learning what I need to learn in the study of Soul Retrieval, but that I still must find a way to shield myself from the overwhelm that comes from feeling the intense need of those Dead who are not yet settled into their new home. So I shouldn't go back quite yet.
This is most of my experience with Her directly.
The other thing I suggest is that if you work with Hela much, you will most likely want to get to know Modgud, and you may need to find what your way is with Baldr.
Other side notes: In my experience, Odin's people may not enter Hela's hall proper, because Baldr is there. Frigga's people may find it harder to deal with Hela directly. It's not that Hela and Frigga get along poorly all the time, but there is a LOT of pain in that relationship.
--Ember-- |
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