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I'm sympathetic.

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19:38 / 25.12.06

I've stayed here with the internet and, occasionally, the cat, on my tod, waiting for the moment where I finally crack open the booze (4pm as it happened).

The cat is quite good though. Not my cat, and he is discomforted by my flatmate being away, but he appreciates a good ear-scratch, which makes my drunken self feel better. A fat, furry, purring beast under one's hands is a good thing.

19:40 / 25.12.06

A fat, furry, purring beast under one's hands is a good thing.

Works for me...

Hydra vs Leviathan

19:43 / 25.12.06

Christmas is shit because:

- capitalism is shit

- the nuclear family is shit

- post-Roman-Empire Christianity is shit

- surprise gifts (as opposed to gifts you've found out beforehand whether someone would actually want) are shit

- feeling forced/obliged to act like you're enjoying youself is shit

- music legends die

- and most importantly, it's in winter, which instantly and irrevocably nullifies all possibility of it being an enjoyable time of year for me...

On the other hand, i got a digital camera. Which i actually did want (but would never have felt able to justify to myself buying with my own money). So, for me, as Christmases go, this one has actually been better than most...

20:46 / 25.12.06

Good to see the spirit of the season is with you Nat!

I had an okay day, but I am so bored right now. All my friends and family are off doing other stuff, so I'm stuck at home and I have a brainache from reading too many comics and a neckache from my ds, so I need something else to occupy my time but there's nobody to talk to, which I'm really not used to. It's not all bad, but it does make me appreciate the years that I have people with me on Christmas day.

I have a bottle of wine though. It's nice.

21:07 / 25.12.06

I watched Shaolin Soccer and The Squid & The Whale tonight, and I recommend them both for being very enjoyable. Tomorrow, shops will still be closed, and today I was already walking past many closed bakeries until I could get fresh bread.

Do people throw their used christmas trees out of windows and almost hit you in your neighbourhoods, too?

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

01:11 / 26.12.06

Where I am, occasionally, Christmas Trees are thrown off balconies on New Year's Eve and then used to mop up vomit on the front steps the next morning. I usually try to be somewhere else.

Christmas produces such an oddly erratic variety of emotions, every single time - no fail. I'm not very fond of it as a rule, although I've gotten into a holiday routine with the Accomplice now, which makes things marginally better, and we do Solstice stuff as well as Christmas stuff. Christmas is winding down now which means that in a few days everybody will be mostly back to normal and relatively functional with each other and that will be all.

Disco is My Class War

08:22 / 26.12.06

This Christmas I've felt extremely flat. Not exactly depressed, just flat. Didn't do a big family thing this year; instead, I stayed home and made dim sum for my lover and my brother, who turned up at the last minute wanting to hang out. That was nice. No alcohol to drown out the weird. No presents, either. I think I must feel this flat every year, but I'm usually so busy putting on my game face for relatives and family friends that I don't even register my emotional state.

My family is really fragmented. I think that's why it's weird. Dad in one state, doing his thing, didn't call me (probably feeling pissed that I didn't call him, in his passive-aggressive way). Mum in another state, with my nursing-home-bound grandfather, who said she 'didn't mind' what I did but actually appears to have wanted me to be there; layers of closetedness and family secrecy to the extent that my grandfather thinks of me and my girlfriend as, I suppose, [female] spinster housemates. It's better not to engage with that, I guess. But not engaging doesn't feel any better.

21:14 / 26.12.06

I'm confused, emotional and feeling generally not in a good place. The booze isn't helping but I feel I should be more drunk.

09:37 / 27.12.06

I've had an okay christmas - but it would have been better if someone hadn't a) stolen my scooter, smashed the front in, cut a load of wires out and couldn't start it so dumped round the corner and if someone else hadn't b) tried to break into my car, was unable to, so just bent the top of the door frames as much as they could and cut the seal.

I'm sure that there is some universal message in there, some lesson to learn about travel or journey's or something, but it still pissed me off....

10:38 / 27.12.06

So my friend left her two Finches with me, and one flew around my place the other day and died shortly after. The female died in my hand! That look of death I have never seen before...*shiver* I usually can't stand Christmas. Bad things always happen at Christmas. I feel obligated to celebrate Christmas for my son, however.

This morning, the male Finch was lying dead in the cage.

I wish I could come up with a really exciting holiday that would trump Christmas.

All Acting Regiment

11:30 / 27.12.06

Well, Easter sort of trumped Christ, didn't it?

14:14 / 27.12.06

Happy holidays from South Florida.

14:43 / 27.12.06

'It's not a good thing that somebody died, but hopefully people will be more receptive to the Gospel today," he said, passing out fliers that detailed God's plan of salvation. "I had it in mind to pass out these, so it seems that everything came together."

I think the people shopping had another Gospel implanted more firmly in their minds.

15:04 / 27.12.06

More car woes…

I had a rubbish Christmas really. Lots of nice stuff, saw everyone I needed to (and nobody died) but it was far more stressful than it needed to be. I was looking forward to going home and having a break from the usual routine and basically lounging around for a couple of days. As soon as I got home on Christamas Eve my mother told me that my gran had just called to say that she was sick. This meant that my mother was half worried about my gran being sick, and half annoyed at being told on the evening before Christmas that her mum was sick and she couldn’t do anything about it (my gran lives down south) and she didn’t know how serious it was. So then she starts arguing with her partner, while I retreat from the Christmas Stress to a room with zero floor space in which I’m meant to sleep in and must bite my tongue regarding. My mum settles down and eventually goes to Midnight Mass, and then we get a call at 1 telling us that she’s had three of the tires on her car slashed, which she must then somehow get home. Which she does, and we can all draw a breath. Which is a cue for more aggravation and arguing. Which left me and my sister huddled tilled four in the morning remembering what a crap ten years we’ve had (as a family) since it all fell apart, while people argued in the other room, which quite honestly I thought I was long over. There's more but… [sighs]

So there we go, my mum had a shit Christmas and so did I. I was full of festive cheer till I went home – I was really genuinely looking forward to it - and instead I spent it harassed, nervous and worried, which I do plenty of the rest of the year. It would just have been nice to have a break. Next year I’m going on holiday.

17:09 / 27.12.06

Happy holidays from South Florida.

My wife was at that mall that day, but left shortly before the shooting occured. We didn't even know about it till her parents in Detroit phoned us to ask about it. Very, very messed up, and complete with local TV news coverage utilizing video from a bystander's cellphone. I don't think Wifey and I will be shopping at the Boynton mall for a little while.

14:57 / 29.12.06

It's funny, I didn't think of it as being a big deal until I got a couple emails from people elsewhere asking if I was OK.

Malls freak me out anyway.

15:14 / 29.12.06

malls freak me out too. Something about the legacy of Logan's Run in my childhood perhaps but they remind me of a shabby attempt to make human habittrails with recycled air & bad lighting & low grade food dispensers.

'Trix, finch are highly prone to dying from drafts. I had a pair go on a Thanksgiving weekend many years ago even though I warned the bird sitter not to open any windows no matter how hot it was in the apartment. Sure enough she cracked the window and it killed Orange Julius and Orangina, my orange weaver finch. I loved those wee birds...sigh.

The sheer amount of gifts my nephews and niece received made me queasy. I'm not sure why any young child needs an ipod of their own.

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