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Bernards Watch

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14:16 / 01.10.06

Do you remember the childrens program about the little boy who could stop time with his magic watch and cheat on his homework? A friend of mine pointed out that this is in fact impossible, as time would stop yet Bernard continues in orbit round the sun.

A matter of contention amongst the scientifically minded.
Is this or is it not what would happen?

paranoidwriter waves hello

14:37 / 01.10.06

I thought Time was at the mercy of Relativity.

I'm not a physicist, but aren't our days governed by the movement of Earth around the Sun? If he stops Time, then he stops the Universe, non?

No idea if that's possible though. And I hate wearing watches.

14:41 / 01.10.06

Bernards watch isn't a wristwatch its a pocket watch. It's the sort a posh old gent with a monacle would wear.

paranoidwriter waves hello

14:46 / 01.10.06

I'd only wear it if it were broken.

I hate being at the mercy of Time and Money.

I quite like engineering and antiques though.

14:58 / 01.10.06

Numerous cartoons I recall from childhood featured animals speaking perfect english, does anyone know if this is a real phenomenon or if they just made it up.

paranoidwriter waves hello

15:00 / 01.10.06

Who: the animals, those who heard them speak, or the animators?

I think they probably ALL make it up as they go along.

15:22 / 01.10.06

I remember a show about a guy who was kind of wimpy and his mother dressed him funny, but then a lady gave him a huge magic sword that turned him into a muscle-bound sex god. I thought it was a bunch of hooey, but then I hit puberty and discovered it was for realz!

16:11 / 01.10.06

I found this 'physics' webpage a while back and I wanted to share it but I honestly never imagined that there would be a relevant thread on barbelith where I could post it. Thanks, So glad I was wrong.

Cartoon Laws of Physics

Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey

18:17 / 01.10.06

Nice link!

I especially like this one:

Cartoon Law Amendment D

Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large wavelengths.

Their operation can be wittnessed by observing the behavior of a canine suspended over a large vertical drop. Its feet will begin to fall first, causing its legs to stretch. As the wave reaches its torso, that part will begin to fall, causing the neck to strech. As the head begins to fall, tension is released and the canine will resume its regular proportions until such time as it strikes the ground.

10:09 / 02.10.06

These cartoon laws say nothing of what happens if time stops.
Lke the one about cats.

I may attempt to learn about relativity now. Until then I stay with the belief that if time does in fact stop, everything will go dark and the things on the earth will float silently out into space.

All Acting Regiment

10:29 / 02.10.06

Yeah, I remember this. Huge cliche, but the kid looked stoned most of the time.

10:35 / 02.10.06

Think of the watch as projecting a force-field like bubble of stopped time around the kid, affecting him but not the rest of the universe.
Or, maybe it was a magic watch dude, thus not bound by the laws of time and space as we know them.
Maybe you should look at the philosophy of time travel thread- oh wait, it's in the Headshop, never mind.

My Mom Thinks I'm Cool

11:39 / 02.10.06

no, see, the universe wouldn't go dark. the speed of light is the same for all observers. as the kid's speed approaches c, all other motion appears (to him) to cease (but, to everything else, it's fine - so nothing floats off). of course, his momentum and kinetic energy approach infinity, so everything he touches probably explodes, or something.

Can a magic watch really make you happy, though? or will you spend the rest of your life solving every problem with ease, never knowing a true challenge, never learning anything, especially about relativity, and, worst of all, never knowing true love. ah, look, a unicorn! 'tis a fanciful beast, though not so splendid as its cousin, the pegasus...

12:02 / 02.10.06

I know I'd sleep a whole lot more.

And how about gravity? If light is caused, at least in part, as Eistein believed - if I rember correctly - by particles called graviton (which, alhtough moving almost as fast as light - or faster, if you want to go quantum physics on it - but are not light, and thus not bound by the Relativistic "always at the same speed" principle, once you stop time, you are no longer subject to graviton bombardment, and thus should go flying around righ away.

It wouldn't disrupt my sleep all that much, but it is something to be considered.

13:26 / 02.10.06

if I rember correctly

You don't. Photons are particles of light, Gravitons are theoretical particles transmitting gravity, different things.

If you had a pegasus, how would you ride it? The wings are where you would sit, surely? Maybe a special saddle...

pointless & uncalled for

13:32 / 02.10.06

If we look here, the wings are clearly attached as an extension of the forelegs whereas a rider would be expected to sit rather more rumpwards.

14:01 / 02.10.06

But but but, when they flap they'd smack you in the face surely? Maybe a leanback saddle with extra tight cinches and a seat belt (you don't want to fall off, eh) and ejector/parachute add-ons just in case.

pointless & uncalled for

14:05 / 02.10.06

This picture is of a Pegasus in a cruise mode, flapping of the wings, as with any ichthene is of a down and backwards motion that shouldn't result in rider contact.

One could argue the needs of elevation of a so dimensioned animal might require a furied and less controlled form of wing-beating but do bear in mind that not only are Pegasi graceful and elegant creatures but they are also magical and a portion of the lift is derived from ethereal channelling.

My Mom Thinks I'm Cool

15:50 / 02.10.06

If you had a pegasus, how would you ride it?

fucked if I know, I can't even ride a damn horse. "oh, this is Strawberry, she's the most gentlest horse ever, you won't have a bit of...wow, never seen her do that before, you know what they say though, gotta get back on and keep...gee, again? you look a little dazed there, do you remember where you are? yeah, his head's bleeding, better go back to the house now...there there Strawberry, that's a good girl..."

it's probably cause of my dwarven blood. anywhere too far away to walk is just too damn far away, that's what I say.

15:59 / 02.10.06

a portion of the lift is derived from ethereal channelling.

Aha, so the wings are really for manouvres and pitch and yaw and the like, like a big equine albatross or vulture. You'd glide on it I suppose, but I'd still want a parachute.
This is Strawberry, she's the gentlest Pegasus ever... oops, should have warned them about the seatbelt, clear up that splattered mess would you James? BAD STRAWBERRY!

16:10 / 02.10.06

You don't. Photons are particles of light, Gravitons are theoretical particles transmitting gravity, different things.

Actually, I remembered correctly, I only wrote it incorrectly: when I said light is caused (...) by particles called graviton, I meant to say gravity is caused (...) by particles called graviton.

Sorry for the duh moment.

Anyway, after such correction, does my point stand?

16:13 / 02.10.06

Oh, one mo'thing: pegasus(es?) are a lot like zebras: they look kinda like horses, but they were not meant to be ridden.

Unless if you're a Greek demigod, of course, but how many of us really are Greek demigods?

I know I'm not Greek at all.

pointless & uncalled for

16:39 / 02.10.06

DM, The list of posters who are Greek demigods is posted at the top of the Armoury forum.

Quantum, A parachute is likely to anger a Pegasus as it's seens as a grave insult to their ability. Landing is pretty soft due to the recent developments in vertical take-off and landing (VTOL). I understand that a full 95% of pegasi have had the VTOL upgrade.

16:57 / 02.10.06

DM, The list of posters who are Greek demigods is posted at the top of the Armoury forum.

Really? I was sure it was on the Sex and Body forum. That explains it, I'm not allowed into the Armoury since that incident with fusion cannon ammunition

17:03 / 02.10.06

Sweet, so my safety device is a lump of sugar and soft whispering? Easy.

DM, let me read this back to you amended, then answered;
If light is caused, at least in part, as Eistein believed
It's GRAVITY and EINSTEIN, dear readers, and he had nothing to say about them as he was dead by the time they were postulated. "In popular terms, the discreteness of quantum theory is not compatible with the smoothness of Einstein's general relativity."

- if I rember correctly - by particles called graviton
GravitonS are hypothetical particles here's an article explaining them. Detecting a graviton, if it exists, would prove rather problematic. Because the gravitational force is so incredibly weak, as of today, physicists are not even able to directly verify the existence of gravitational waves, as predicted by general relativity.

(which, alhtough moving almost as fast as light - or faster, if you want to go quantum physics on it -

I don't want to- they don't.

but are not light, and thus not bound by the Relativistic "always at the same speed" principle,

What? Do you mean the speed of light (c) which is a constant? You mean because gravitons aren't electromagnetic they go faster than light so, uh... nope, lost me.

once you stop time, you are no longer subject to graviton bombardment, and thus should go flying around righ away.

What? Where are you getting this stuff? The cartoon physics site?

Anyway, on to the unicorn riding. Only virgins can ride them, so if you have your first sex on a unicorn would it wait until you'd finished before bucking you off?

17:08 / 02.10.06

What? Where are you getting this stuff? The cartoon physics site?

Considering we're talking about a watch that stops time, yeah, I though it was the propper place to look for answers.

Anyway, on to the unicorn riding. Only virgins can ride them, so if you have your first sex on a unicorn would it wait until you'd finished before bucking you off?

goddamn, good question!

My Mom Thinks I'm Cool

17:16 / 02.10.06

Anyway, on to the unicorn riding. Only virgins can ride them,

shit! totally forgot about that. didn't help me any with Strawberry, though.

I bet virgin dwarfs can't ride unicorns for shit, even if they get allowed on.

Gravitons haven't been detected because they've all been rounded up and enslaved by the Galatrons, who will one day harness their powers for another inevitable taking-over-the-universe bid. This can only be prevented by the powers of a secret group of rebels who, with the push of a button, can turn into people in bird costumes...

17:23 / 02.10.06

How come the kid speeds up? And how can light have a speed if it has no time to travel in?

17:30 / 02.10.06

Well, it says it's propagated by waves. See above.

But note Cartoon Law Five;
All principles of gravity are negated by fear.
Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.

So unicorns- does the fucking start the bucking or would sucking induce bucking?

17:32 / 02.10.06

How come the kid speeds up?

Magic Watch. It's a metaphor for Tartrazine you know.

And how can light have a speed if it has no time to travel in?

How can it not have a speed if it has time to travel in?

17:40 / 02.10.06

I don't think Bernard was hyperactive or had a rash.

And how can light have a speed if it has no time to travel in?

How can it not have a speed if it has time to travel in?

If it stayed still then it wouldn't have a speed.

17:44 / 02.10.06

If it moved then it would.
It moves at 299,792,458 metres per second (or 1,079,252,848.8 km/h) in a vacuum, note that this speed is a definition, not a measurement, since the fundamental SI unit of length, the metre, has been defined since October 21, 1983 in terms of the speed of light' (thanks wikipedia)

Do you mean if you stopped time light would have no speed because there would be no time? That's right, it would be dark if you stopped time, and you wouldn't be able to move, or experience anything until time started again, so you wouldn't notice. It happened just then. Ooh, again! Crazy.

17:55 / 02.10.06

Yes, it would be dark. I don't understand the numbers part but that is what I meant.

But what if light did stop? It wouldn't glow any more then I suppose. Then wouldn't be light any more. Can it stop?

I wonder what it would be if it could.

17:56 / 02.10.06

So everytime I blink, time stops?

cartoon physics are fun

18:01 / 02.10.06

... it would be dark if you stopped time, and you wouldn't be able to move, or experience anything until time started again, so you wouldn't notice. It happened just then. Ooh, again! Crazy.

Magic.
Do I correctly infer this has something to do with the theory of relativity (which I have yet to learn about)?

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