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I'd start giggling a lot, over and over until the devil started to become uncomfortable and edged away from me. And the devil would spend the rest of the evening feeling awkward, maybe sit down at the bar and have a couple drinks before trying and failing to sleep because he kept needing to get up to pee. I'd stand outside of his Hellish Apartment Building and ring the buzzer all hours of the night, at random, and then I'd probably walk over to a nearby deli for breakfast, to wait for him to come breezing by for early morning coffee because he never did sleep and the Shadowy Mister Evans expects him to be making the rounds with his soul temptation envelope gig and he can't do that if he's half-asleep, because temptation requires one's full attention, and I'd be there and he'd see me and I'd smile, nod, take a bit of my breakfast, and go back to reading the paper.
Or, you know, I'd stop him right in the middle of offering the envelopes and ask if it was too early to ask for a performance evaluation form. |
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