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Lines you've stolen and plan to use at the nearest opportune moment

 
  

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Francine I
22:30 / 21.09.06
This is in terrible taste, but the next time I hear a recycled "yo mama" joke, I will feel inclined to reply by plagiarizing the oddly funny online comic xckd in full coffee-shop-spoken-word fervor:

"Shadowed city slumbers silently. A second-story suite come craving courtship, selected serendipitously crazed copulations, a salacious storm of continuous coitus. Spread, straddled, conquered. Countless crashed suitors strewn carelessly. Center, silken sheets sensuously caressing soft skin, contentedly sleeps your mom."
 
 
Princess
22:34 / 21.09.06
From the film "Repo Man".

Lady: Nice friends

Guy: Thanks. I made them myself
 
 
Not in the Face
08:33 / 22.09.06
I find myself using Stay on target quite a lot - usually when a bit pissed.

Also all too easy for when I've won at something and want to celebrate in a childishly competitive way
 
 
Evil Scientist
08:51 / 22.09.06
The urge to shout "Can I get a 'Hell yeah!'?" in a crowded area is stemmed purely by the knowledge that it porbably won't be answered with a rousing chorus of "Hell yeah!"'s.

Still, a guy can dream.
 
 
Triplets
10:41 / 23.09.06
When I want to go somewhere else:

"Let's split up, look for survivors and get the hell out of here!"

Ah Spaced. Ah Resident Evil.
 
 
Foust is SO authentic
12:19 / 23.09.06
The most ubitquitous Aliens quote:

"Game over, man! Game over!"
 
 
Alex's Grandma
12:25 / 23.09.06
"If you didn't come to party, why did you come here?" (from Pulp's Party Hard)

Used to best effect in libraries.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:29 / 23.09.06
Aliens again...

"We've got sonic electronic ballbusters! We've got nukes, knives, sharp sticks..."

If someone asks about the specs of your computer, or whether you've remembered to bring everything on holiday with you, or even when discussing shops, this one's invaluable.
 
 
Quantum
14:25 / 23.09.06
It's all about the Aliens for me.

-Stay cool and frosty
-Secure that shit, *insert name here*.
-Five by five! (my fave because of Faith off Buffy)
-They're coming out of the goddamn walls!
and the ever-handy 'We got 'em demoralised'.
 
 
Quantum
14:43 / 23.09.06
Ah Spaced. Ah Resident Evil.

There's no need to stay here any longer than we have to!

In conversation, I pretty much alternate between sentences I've constructed myself and direct quotes from Spaced. I think it all stems from...*skip to the end*...which was why the monkey bit me!
 
 
Bed Head
14:57 / 23.09.06
I don’t know about this, guys. Like, if you’re not careful, you might end up using lines that totally aren’t cool, but that the movie-actor types just made sound cool because they’re movie-actor types and that’s what they’re good at. One time when I was working in a shop, I suddenly found myself replying to a simple question with the line “there ain’t nothing for certain in this life,” delivered - supposedly - in the same tone of voice that Charles S Dutton uses when he says it in Alien 3. You may well start off saying cool stuff about staying frosty or nuking sites from orbit, but be warned, that’s where this thing can oh so easily end up: with you using a totally uncool line for no good reason, at a moment when a simple “I don’t know, madam, I’ll just go check” would have done perfectly well.

So I now tend to think that saying movie stuff in public, to people who don’t know you, is probably, almost certainly, a Bad Idea. However. I do still sometimes quietly squeal “Eee! You know how I love money!” in the style of Christopher Walken in King of New York. Also, sometimes, “That’s not growth, that’s a mild swelling” in the style of Christopher Walken in Batman Returns. But squealing like Christopher Walken, when in the company of a close personal friend, is entirely different. And okay.
 
 
paranoidwriter waves hello
15:13 / 23.09.06
Yeah, Bedhead's right. It's a difficult act to pull off. I'm pretty crap at it myself, and afterwards I often feel like I'm a cheap David Brent or Colin Hunt.

Mind you, my conversation is littered with quotes, and some of them are so ingrained, half the time I don't even notice.

e.g. "You spit in this?" (Weird Science)

I'm also still waiting for the ideal opportunity to use "Why the fucking coat?" from 'The Pianist'.
 
 
stabbystabby
10:32 / 24.09.06
"That's not a knife. THAT'S a knife."

in a broad Aussie accent.
 
 
Callahad
16:28 / 24.09.06
I enjoy denouncing things by declaring them to be "about as useful as a screen door on a submarine."
 
 
miss wonderstarr
19:23 / 24.09.06
Like the type of geek I'm NOT, I have James Earl Jones saying "Impressive... most impressive" when my computer starts up, and HAL saying "thank you for a very enjoyable game" when it closes down.

Only a matter of time until one of them pops out in conversation, I think.

Another line I enjoy is "if this is a consular ship, WHERE is the AMBASSADOR!" but... don't tend to go on a lot of consular ships with ambassadors.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
19:24 / 24.09.06
What's funny is that I only now, after 30 years, looked up "consular ship" on Google and confirmed that it's the real world in that line. It could have been a mishearing of "consulate ship" for all I know. I have no clue what relation a consular ship has to diplomatic missions. However, from Google it does seem to make sense.
 
 
sTe
21:55 / 24.09.06
Best in those awkward silences that develop early in the evening on a works night out or any time you're in a bar sat with some strangers or folk you don't really know so well:

'bangs on glass with lighter or attracts attention in any other acceptable manner' "Everyone, glasses in the air please, I'd like to raise a toast.... To Me"

stolen from glamorous type friend


Or the old classic when taunting someone for minor mistakes (in best american cop voice)
You are a stupid, stupid man! When I think of all the time and money I've wasted on your training you stupid man, get in the car.

- from one of the Cheech & Chong films after bungling cop number 2 has just shot out the tyres of his own car,
you know
 
 
diz
22:26 / 24.09.06
Another line I enjoy is "if this is a consular ship, WHERE is the AMBASSADOR!" but... don't tend to go on a lot of consular ships with ambassadors.

Speaking of this scene, or remixed versions of same, I try to work in lines from The Vader Sessions into conversation as often as possible.

"Your mama's going to go on a date. Can you dig that? A date."

"Daddy... is the breadwinner. Can you dig that? You don't win that bread, don't bother coming around."

"Oh, lordy, what to do when the romance is gone..."
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
07:01 / 25.09.06
From the Onion:

I fucked my way into this mess, and I'll fuck my way out
 
 
pointless & uncalled for
07:42 / 25.09.06
From a couple of years ago in Eastenders there's the bit where Martin Fowler utters the line "Maaaaahm, I'm a killaaaaaaaah" with a degree of import that is not to be underestimated.

I cannot think of a single social occasion where that would be in any way innappropriate.
 
 
Dark side of the Moonfrog1
15:07 / 25.09.06
Whilst talking about children’s names with my girlfriend at the weekend I proposed the name Mary for a girl. When asked why, I felt a sense of glee reciting the following (can’t remember who said it first - no, tell a lie, the god of google has just informed me it was Billy Bragg…)

“Why? Because Mary sits in the dictionary comfortably sandwiched between Marx and Marzipan.”

I’d been waiting ten years to use that…
 
 
Kevin Marks
05:49 / 26.09.06
That reminds me of my brother-in-law's favourite:
"If you're looking for sympathy, it's in the dictionary between shit and syphilis"
Though I can't quite carry it off like he can.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
15:29 / 27.09.06
If I were a non-smoker, whenever anybody asked
"Do you mind if I smoke?"
I would take great pleasure in replying
"It won't affect the test"

(from Blade Runner)
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
15:32 / 27.09.06
ooh! ooh!

I forgot (probably because I use it so much I almost forget it's actually a line I stole from Repo Man)

LET'S GO DO SOME CRIMES!!!
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
15:44 / 27.09.06
Always impromptu of nothing in particular:

"Cuz you've got serious-ass pirate problems!"
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
16:08 / 27.09.06
ooh, like that one.
 
 
Jawsus-son Starship
16:24 / 27.09.06
I heard someone say this to a girl today, and lo and behold it's from some film with daniel criag in it;

"I'm not talking to you until you've had a shave."
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
16:46 / 27.09.06
I used to say this to a friend of mine when we were really stoned in college:

"Now folks, here's a nightmare scenario. You're cuddled up in bed, you hear that "step, thump, step, thump" of a pirate coming up your stairs. You'd hide under your covers. But, it's not going to do you any good. He's drank your liquor, number one. Number two... He's looking for treasure. He's a pirate, folks, you're DEAD."
 
 
Spaniel
19:42 / 27.09.06
I hope none of you actually speak these words aloud.

I hope you don't.
 
 
paranoidwriter waves hello
19:49 / 27.09.06
"Candyman..."
 
 
Kali, Queen of Kitteh
19:58 / 27.09.06
Sadly, I do tend to speak like that. In words that aren't mine but pop culture's.
 
 
paranoidwriter waves hello
21:31 / 27.09.06
"Don't call me Charles. Not tonight."

(Uncanny X-men *DELUXE* No. 321)
 
 
Red Concrete
11:35 / 01.10.06
in an escalating argument...

BANKAI!!!

Followed by lots of blood, obviously.
 
 
MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!
11:48 / 01.10.06
I'm a frequent abuser of Buckaroo Banzai lines:
"Hey. Hey. Hey. Don't be mean."
"No matter where you go, there you are."
"Laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy!"
"I'm-a going a-home, with my over-thrusta."

I have yet to find an occasion to scream "EVIL! PURE AND SIMPLE! EVIL BY WAY OF THE EIGHTH DIMENSION!" but then again I've never been audited.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:50 / 01.10.06
"You're a two-inch high... racist."

Actually, I already have used that.
 
  

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