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The Disasters, and their new album 'Dad ... I'm Never Going To Be A Doctor'

 
  

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Alex's Grandma
23:52 / 15.09.06
Fortunately for this reviewer, there are only two songs on The Disaster's debut LP

I'm extrapolating of course; musically The Disasters recall Big Black, The Minutemen and The Swans (I love The Swans dearly)

'Dad ... I'm Never Going To Be A Doctor' is an album of two halves; side one is to do with breezy pop songs about aggressive cosmetic surgery, and side two's about finding a decent accountant.

Track one: 'What Is The Point?'

Track Two: 'What Isn't The Point?'

Extra track: 'Where Are My Cigs, Man - I'll Kill You If You Don't Find Them'

These are suites really, concept pieces.

IMVHO, The Disasters, these guys, walk the earth like gods

Musically, they sound a bit like The Swans meets Love meets The Bangles if those guys had met the hotty from the Bangles and, and ... just made her have a Big Mac and Fries, basically. Just that. And turned the pome to a song.
 
 
Mouse
12:04 / 16.09.06
I am rather intrigued, but cannot get anything coming up on Google. Any links to share?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
19:37 / 17.09.06
Oh, this is London-based The Disasters who've had all kinds of legal problems, right? Not to be confused with the NYC based punkrock band featuring Roger Miret from Agnostic Front. I know there are some people who think of the UK Disasters as being unfairly harrassed by 'the Man' (and yeah, if the Google rumours are true, that's pretty harsh), but then again, if the other rumours are true about the way they fired their original bass played basically for being female, they've only got what they deserve.

They suck, anyway, since Debra left. The first EP (I Think You Hit An Artery) is the only good thing they ever did, really.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
09:01 / 18.09.06
Oh, Christ, Flyboy. Why not just go and listen to the Rapture? It's people like you who would have strangled the Manics at birth by demanding they never moved on from "Generation Terrorists".
 
 
Alex's Grandma
07:55 / 20.09.06
Oh, this is London-based The Disasters who've had all kinds of legal problems, right?

That's right, I'm afraid. Roger Miret and his people over in the States have been making things very difficult for the guys lately. However, there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel, as The (original and best) Disasters have recently hired a new manager (Ted Mann, of Mann Management, a notorious industry heavy hitter, who according to jokey music biz rumour you don't so much 'hire' as grant various contractual rights to do with the souls of your unborn children - he's old school, and a legend.)

So apparently Mann's people in New York are already in the middle of discussions with Roger Miret's people as we speak, and that accordingly, this is probably the last anyone will be hearing from the 'other' Disasters, in their current form.

In the meantime, the guys, plus gal (Debbie having recently given up a place at St John's College Oxford to rejoin the band, at Ted Mann's insistence - he can be very persuasive!) are now back in their South London studio doing what they do best, which is capturing the sound of raw fear on tape.

Working titles for the new stuff are; 'Yeah Man, It Rhymes With 'Punt'', 'Keeping The Dream Alive', 'The Small Print', 'Right. Well You May Not Care If My Father's A High Court Judge, But ... Oh, I See,' and an especially heartfelt cover of the Radiohead classic 'How To Disappear Completely (And Never Be Found)' on which the guys seem to be playing as if their lives depend on it.

And hopefully their new website 'A Hundred And Twenty Hours A Week At Goldman Sachs Seems A Better Alternative ... ' will be up and running very shortly.
 
 
Totem Polish
11:31 / 20.09.06
The only time I've ever come across this lot was on a 7" given away with Artrocker, I think the track was called 'To the gaol (Don't Drop the Soap)' which always stood out for me as a proto-grindie classic, produced by Statik way before he joined Babyshambles.

I decided to ignore everyting since then because it seemed clear that the mixture of dandified noise and MC Killah T could never be captured in anything but the most primitive of circumstances.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
12:31 / 20.09.06
Tt, TP - you're just like Flyboy, so negative about the new material. I agree that the guys need to pull themselves together; they've been through Hell. Richard, the guitarist, has sort of managed to shut his foot in a door, to the point where he's actually a bit worried about it ... I don't know if you'd fancy stepping in? What the band would need would be the riff of 'You Can't Throw Your Arms Around A Memory' played terribly, funerally slowly.

The Disasters are all about the future, and belief. And replacing Richard. (But not Debbie!)
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:57 / 20.09.06
Isn't Debbie still in a spot of bother over that incident with the canary in Scarborough, or has Ted, ahm, sorted that out now?
 
 
pointless & uncalled for
13:26 / 20.09.06
Ted fucking started it. Which is, of course, the name of another work in progress in which Debbie AKA. The MonUmental El Deb aka. Deb Escobar expresses the truth about what happened on June 15th.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
17:52 / 20.09.06
The issue has been 'covered over,' Stoat.

'Concrete waistcoats' were mentioned. Also 'you slags'

You didn't hear it from me, though.

It's probably also worth pointing out that anyone who would be so minded as to demonstrate their (hypothetical)objections to The Disasters, and their career, should phone 'Mann Management. It's an 0898 number.

Offer to sell Ted a car, or some such - he's sort of a crude man.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
18:53 / 20.09.06
TSK;

No none's suggesting that Deb can't be in the band - given that all The Disater's songs are half an hour long (play that on the radio, Moylesey! You ... well I suppose it must be difficult, Chris,) then something like 'Ian, I Can't Marry You, I've Despaired,' wouldn't go over so well.

Perhaps I'm being old-fashioned.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
18:54 / 20.09.06
The news about Debra rejoining the band is kind of disappointing, to the extent where I thought you were all winding me up until I got this verifid. I mean, obviously she's an independent human being and I respect her right to make her own choices, but I think she's making a mistake. Especially if this means that she and Richard are back "on" again.

Let me illustrate my point. This is Debra:



And this is Richard:



It's hardly an equal match, is it, Barbelith?

I think that Debra could be doing much more interesting work if only she'd just keep away from The Disasters, who frankly are just a bit of a joke. A joke that's not so much funny as it is pathetic. And I think if Debs met someone who could explain this to her, someone like me, then she'd realise the error of her ways.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
19:13 / 20.09.06
Ok.

No fucking about here. Cross me, and you're in bother. Richard, god love him, has left the band - he coudn't play the guitar any more because I broke his fucking fingers. He was less 'winsome' after that, the clot. On the other hand, 'we' need a replacement. Since I took over, they've been having a terrible time, mainly because I decided not to 'delegate' - basically, who wants some?
 
 
Alex's Grandma
19:22 / 20.09.06
it was 'Ted' who said so, and not me.

Ted 'the man' Mann is in many ways a certifiable lunatic, BUT HE WOULD BUY YOU A PINT! And, I suppose, be very ashamed
 
 
pointless & uncalled for
07:53 / 21.09.06
I've heard that Richard is teaming up with DJ My Mates Got A Pair Of Decks We Can Borrow (MMGAPODWCB) to pioneer the latest genre Mince-up. Any truth in the rumour?
 
 
Totem Polish
09:04 / 21.09.06
Well, if that Artrocker 7" is anything to go by we're in for a treat, I only hope that Richard doesn't try to rap again. I mean last time it was plain wierd, somehow I don't think there's a place for a white guy who thinks he's Don Cherry mixed with Kool Kieth when he shoots up*:

Woke up in Reading
Smacked Debra's face in
Went town for me hit
God I luv that shibbee - shoobaw - it
etc. etc.


Although if DJ My Mates Got A Pair Of Decks We Can Borrow's previous work is anything to go by he'll probably just put a vocoder over his mincing then chop it up like King Tubby...but more, like, Luhndun-style y'know.

*Not that I'm saying that the heroin rumours are true or anything, otherwise the Mann'll be after me...
 
 
pointless & uncalled for
09:18 / 21.09.06
[threadrot]

I've got a PM here from a long time listener, first time caller asking what Mince-up is.

Basically Mince-up tries to tread a very fine genre line. It's not as coarse as Mash-up but doesn't aim for the smooth paste like qualities of Grind-up.

Don't confuse it with Mincecore, which you will recognise the moment you hear it and probably until the blood clots if you see what I mean.

[/threadrot]
 
 
Alex's Grandma
16:27 / 04.01.07
Elsewhere, in the 'Grinderman' thread, this question was asked;

Doesn't anybody have the time or imagination to seek out the many, many younger, more geniunely punk groups who harness this kind of energy more naturally and convincingly?

And to be perfectly honest, I'd forgotten all about the guys. And gal. Which, bearing in mind that the guys originally asked me to see about making life better for them, as opposed to the other thing, is ... well anyway, never mind about that. And I did remember, eventually.

So it turns out the guys have been on tour in what used to be known as the USSR for what seems to have been an uncomfortably long time. I feel it would be a mistake for me to check on the dates - after all, it's impossible to undo what's been done, or not done, in this case - but, on the plus side, while The Disasters always been an 'angry' band, now they're ... well, like The Beatles post Hamburg, they're now something else. Something else altogether.

So when they hit the London gigging scene again, there's going to be an explosion, I think. So much so that I'm thinking seriously now about that timeshare offer in Bali, the one that nobody knows anything about. The raw energy of the new material is a bit much to contemplate, otherwise.

So, enough about me: The new songs by the guys, and gal, are thus;

'Debra, You're Out Of The Band'

'No, Richard, You're Out Of The Band'

'For God's Sake ... You, Debra, Are No Longer A Disaster'

'But I Think I Am. Call Yourself A Disaster do You?'

'Yes Debra, I Do'

'Siberian Tour - An Instrumental Break'

'Ok, I Suppose We've All Lost Some Fingers Here ...'

'You Play One String, And I'll Play The Other - The Bass Is About Love' (the guys have pencilled this in, according to their abilities, as a chart hit. It'll be their 'Alive', their 'Candle In The Wind', or so they say)

'Full Circle' - The whole journey they've been on musically comes to it's inevitable end. In silence, ultimately, but it does take them a while.

Bonus track;

'I've Just ... I Don't Know What I've Done To Myself. But It's Probably Something Quite Bad ...'

I don't mean to go on about this, but they have made a huge leap both forwards, and at the same time backwards, artisically. It's not easily put into words. 'Brothers In Arms' as reimagined by a series of spiritually compromised characters in a Tibetan lap dancing joint - these are not people who are interested in climbing Mount Everest. The only snow they're interested in comes in sachets, like the ketchup, which is also like blood.

They still can't really play their instruments though, so, they're mainly focused on looking ... like what they are, really.

And as bad as it seems, and although I only say it myself, they are the only interesting band left.

Roll on the album!
 
 
Tom Paine's Bones
17:31 / 04.01.07
In terms of their London gigs, is that whole distasteful incident at the Duck and Ferret last time likely to make it difficult for them to find venues? Or do you think enough time has passed for that to be largely forgotten?
 
 
Alex's Grandma
19:31 / 04.01.07
Yes and no, Mr J.

Whatever else happens though, Debs, Richard, Martin, Neil and Candy will be nothing if not themselves.

Which is more than one can say about a lot of the peopl in the music indeghfersw - thet're just fucning p;oretending to tAKE LOTS OF DRUGS, the NOBS!

The sodding bastards.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
19:50 / 04.01.07
Ok.

Can we put the above down to high spirits?

It's that, or I lose my mind.

The Disasters did ask me to say that they absolutely don't endorse the sort of behaviour mentioned above. Some might argue that they're getting a bit ahead of themselves, and that until they're as important as U2 they can just button it, but personally, I don't feel that way.

Neil's just thin, you know? He writes some great lyrics as well. And I am going to marry Candy. I just am.


Because it seems like the only way forward.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
22:04 / 04.01.07
Do you feel that the fact that there are two girls in the band now has altered their dynamic? Would they ever record a song like 'Masculinity (My Girth)' again?
 
 
Alex's Grandma
23:30 / 04.01.07
As artists, The Disasters are often both seething and 'on the nod' if it's possible to be those two things at the same time.

They would not be who they are, however, if they couldn't handle it.

And as I understand it, nobody in the band is going to sing about their Member of Parliament for the forseeable future though. Unless they really, you know ... unless they really absolutely have to.
 
 
ZF!
08:42 / 06.01.07
So I was offered a free ticket by a friend "in the biz" to attend a secret "Disasters" gig last night at "The Peg and Firkin" on Wardour Street (just a bit down from that punk establishment "The Ship").

I must say it was rather packed in there, so whatever scandals, drug, relationship or otherwise that have plagued this band, it definitely hasn't hurt their popularity. If anything, I'd say it's bolstered it a bit, I was a bit dissapointed, to see a few "suits" there.

Anyway, audience aside the gig was a bit average, they've lost a bit of their energy, (I think Richard almost dozed off at one point, I dunno why someone doesn't just give him a little bit of charlie before they go on?).

Well they played about 5 songs, all new material, don't ask me what they were, because they didn't mention the names, and I've not seen/heard any of the new album leaks. They were good songs you know though, young, powerful stuff, spoke to me on some level.

Anybody else there?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:20 / 25.01.07
New song 'I'm Just A Normal Bloke' has leaked online - Fluxblog had it yesterday, but he's been forced to take it down.

Sample lyrics:
"I'm just a regular bloke, you see
And all your talk about racism and classes
Seems a bit too weird for me
I think you're disappearing up your arses"


It is excellent.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
11:52 / 25.01.07
There's a sample from Dire Straits' 'Walk Of Life' on there too.

It, the new single, is an interesting piece of work, insofar as each verse (of which the above quoted is very much a radio edit,) is a screed of, um, 'honest opinion' aimed at whoever the guys don't like at the moment (mini-cab drivers, and ... actually, mainly them) with that upbeat corus to balance thngs out.

Here at Disasters HQ we (by this I mean Richard) are thinking it's going to go Top 40.

As with Kula Shaker (allegedly!) it seems as if far right ideas have crept onto the band's agenda.

Ted Mann is ... elsewhere at the moment, so it's up to me to look after the guys. And I wonder if I'm really up to the job. When I was doing a lot of the PR above I was the kind of person who'd drink a bottle of vodka rather than face up to some of the issues that were on the table, but at least then they were plausibly deniable.

This is no longer the case.

The Myspace page, which Richard designed, doesn't really bear thinking about.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
08:53 / 12.01.08
They've gone full-on horrorcore rave with the new album.

It's a great leap forward. All those people who said they were just a flash in the pan and were never going to last can suck it. SUCK IT!

I think my favourite track so far is 'Your Face (And The Mess I Have Made Of It)'. An unsettling technoballad.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
12:58 / 12.01.08
The recent success of the Klaxons LP has been a definite shot in the arm for the guys. 'They're like the My Bloody Valentine of shit, aren't they? And they're getting paid ...' is the mood at Disasters HQ at the moment. They now expect to be up for a Mercury, and I do hope they win, because explaining anything to them is actually very difficult.

Ted could talk to them, but Ted is in 'the Scrubs' now. He is in there again.

Anyway, fave track off the new album is their cover of 'Material Girl'. I'm not just saying that because I'm on there (although I can be heard in the background, trying to make them see sense ... my sampled nervous breakdown - who'd have thought that human tears could be used as a drumbeat?); rather, I think they've done something genuinely interesting with it. The peppy, up-beat sentiments of Madonna's version are no longer there, in any sense, at all.

Generally, I'm trying to stop them from releasing it, in it's current form. I suppose I ought to be grateful that they're too venal to let it run free, on the worldwide web, but I don't know. What they want to call it is ... well it's edgy. It's definitely that.
 
 
pony
17:47 / 12.01.08
every time this thread comes up, i run off to google and come out empty handed... can someone provide a title for this new album, or maybe some linkages to more info on the band?
 
 
*
18:48 / 12.01.08
Hi, folks, I just remembered that about four months ago I got an email from some guy who because of my involvement on Barbelith has apparently mistaken me for Flux or someone like him—I gather this because the email began "Dear Barbelith person who is either Flux or someone like him." This person claims to represent The Catastrophic Attempt, the members of which, he claims, were involved in a group marriage with The Disasters in a cult (his words) in some cave somewhere in the Ukraine in December 2006. At any rate, they're claiming that they have material that they recorded with The Disasters while "experiencing ecstatic communion of the pheromones of Our Master, the Third Reincarnation of Christ Yohe Vrucnib," and that's a direct quote. Catastrophic Attempt want me (or rather Flux or someone like him) to hype the shit out of this on the internet. This guy figures that they'll make a lot of money out of it when it sells—of which The Disasters won't see a penny because they won't remember making the recording due to some effect of the "pheromones" I don't really follow—but what they actually want to do is connect everyone who listens to it to their "Master's" neural network and bring about world peace.

There are some rather heavily compressed mp3s attached which I haven't gotten around to listening to yet. I don't really like anything that doesn't have, you know, a proper melody and harmony and some kind of structure, so if this is going to be like experimental techno or something I really can't be bothered.

I don't know, guys, I don't know the first thing about underground, or above ground, music media. This is clearly a job for someone else. Any takers?
 
 
pony
19:06 / 12.01.08
i'm certainly not about to commit to this eschaton immanantizing street-team, but i'd like to hear the tracks.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
19:08 / 12.01.08
I'd like to tell you the title of their new album, but I can't. Doing so would almost certainly mean I'd be banned from not only Barbelith, but probably the human race altogether, very shortly afterwards. It turns out that certain words, placed in a particular order, do retain their power to shock, after all.

If the guys insist on the title (and so far, there's no sign of them backing down) the new album will not be available anywhere, sadly. For some idea of what it sounds like though, get the people next door to play a Motown album (any will do), put a metal implement in the washing machine, and ask a friend to read random lines from 'Under The Volcano' over the top.
 
 
*
19:37 / 12.01.08
Granny... do you think they and The Catastrophic Attempt could benefit from, you know, putting aside their differences and collaborating again? I mean, I don't know what they'd sound like, but CA want some help from D's publicity machine, and D could maybe use CA's talent for... obtuseness, I suppose. If you want, I'll forward you the email and you can put them in touch.

That would probably mean you not getting to hear the mp3s until they say yes or no, J. Is that a sacrifice you'd be willing to make for someone else's art?
 
 
pony
19:59 / 12.01.08
you've completely lost me, zippy. i guess that at the end of the day, i have to say "yes". i'm not sure what i'm getting myself into, but whatever.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
20:38 / 12.01.08
Granny... do you think they and The Catastrophic Attempt could benefit from, you know, putting aside their differences and collaborating again?

A qualified yes. The guys aren't the easiest people to deal with, though. They have a hard enough time maintaining cordial relations with the man in the off-licence down the road from the studio, and he's someone they need.

Initially, they'll sit about and sneer at the CA's CD, while fiddling with their fringes, and charred sleeves. But maybe if one of them's drunk or stoned enough (a more effective manager than I would make sure this didn't happen quite so often, but as it is, they're pretty much like that all the time) they'll give it a listen. And beautiful music might well result.
 
  

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