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Pete Doherty Q&A

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Whisky Priestess

00:26 / 06.09.06

Not smack, that's for sure. But I am heroin-curious!!!

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:48 / 06.09.06

Pete,

Women are great, aren't they? With their mysterious spiritual side we men can never hope to understand, and their luvverly lady lumps. But why don't they care about music the way I do? Why do they care about Grazia magazine instead?

Yours,

N. Hornby.

pointless & uncalled for

11:52 / 06.09.06

Pete,

Is "been on the Jonathon Ross show" a euphemism for hauled up infront of the beak or a euphemism for wasted on smack?

18:22 / 06.09.06

That's a hard question to answer, TSK. I do sometimes wonder if I would have been invited onto 'The Jonathan Ross Show' in the first place if it hadn't been for the smack, the jail time and the air of scandal that dogs me still to this day, let's put it that way. It all seems to be connected in some strange way, though I can't quite put my finger on how. Does anyone else feel like that sometimes?

Hi Nick. Hope you're doing well mate. That was quite a night on the tiles we had that time, wasn't it? Who would have thought that beneath that mild-mannered, cuddly, football and music-loving exterior ... but I'm saying too much.

All I can say is that women seem to like *my* music, in any case. Or maybe it's the air of danger ... Anyway, I gather from today's *Daily Star* that I once had that Nikki from Big Brother back to my gaff in Hackney. Now granted, I had apparently hired her from *an escort agency* (she used to work for one it seems, in the bad old days before she met *the other Pete,* whose dark reflection I suppose I in many ways am,) and I was, it appears, too *out of it on drugs to perform* at the time, so I lose a couple of points for studliness there I guess, but still, I amaze myself sometimes, I really do. I wonder if I'd specifically asked the agency for a Kate Moss look-a-like? I must have got quite I shock if I did. And I wonder if she had one of her famous but charming *episodes* when she saw the state of my house (just between you, me, and however many million people read *The Daily Star*, it was a little untidy.)

To be honest though Nick, I don't blush a little when I think of this incident, because for the life of me, I can't remember a thing about it. Do you think they might have made it up? Do the red-tops ever make up this sort of thing about you?

Oh well, all the best, mate.

See you if my beloved QPR and your beloved Arsenal ever meet up in a cup final sometime! In my dreams, yeah ... Or maybe not... for all I used to do a precociously well-written fanzine about them when I was but a teenage poet and wandering minstrel, I'm not entirely sure division QPR are in at the moment ...

I don't suppose anyone could help me out there, could they?

Pete.

18:26 / 06.09.06

(I could also with twenty quid to buy groceries with, if anyone's got it spare. Thanks.

Pete.)

pointless & uncalled for

19:15 / 06.09.06

I'll give you fifty if you'll do us a photo of you in Mossy's Burberry outfit.

Shold cover you for a proper big slap up meal or some other new-fangled euphemism for depleting the worlds brown at a frightening rate.

Have you ever considered the "doing it for the kids" defence? You know, I'm whacking up all of the smack so that vulnerable little nippers can't get corrupted.

Regrettable Juvenilia

22:42 / 06.09.06

Dear Mr Doherty,

I'm an intelligent woman, a cultured woman - I understand Nabokov in a way you, for one, never will - and a business woman. Someone who has made their own way in the world, and has a lot of interesting and informed opinions to share. By rights I should have a regular gig writing about books for the Guardian Review. Yet the only way I seem to be able to get into the papers is by taking most of my clothes off for the boys - well, I say boys, but they're really more like shrunken, misshapen trolls - at Nuts and Zoo magazine.

You, on the other hand, Pete, are a vapid pretty little thing, with not a thought in your head, who once upon a time did actually have sex with people for measly sums of cash. And yet you're somehow seen as some kind of poet, someone with something to say about the world in which we live.

What's that all about, eh?

Yours,

Abi.

11:29 / 07.09.06

Dear Abi,

What is it about Nabokov's work that especially appeals to you? In particular, which is your favourite one by him?

Also, have you got any idea where my, erm 'favourite guitar' is? I wouldn't ask, but I definitely had it a minute ago.

Ah, thank goodness, I've found it.

Ok, feeling much more confident.

Ready to take on the world.

Other worlds, possibly.

It seems to me, Abi, that out of the major stuff it's between 'Ada' and 'Pale Fire' (the others are for tourists, I think, but on the other hand, I am 'in the middle of recording an LP' at the moment, so ... well you know the form.)

Don't give up on me guys!

Not that there's any reason why you should do, of course!

StRoNger than ever,

Love

Pete.

pointless & uncalled for

11:32 / 07.09.06

Pete, it's so nice to have a cultural bastion like you to focus on during these dark days.

pointless & uncalled for

06:52 / 27.09.06

Pete,

In the below image, is Kate admiring her own handiwork and, if so, where does that place here in the future of Albion.

02:36 / 07.10.06

I fell over on the way back from my local, I guess.

My eye does hurt a bit, but it'll be all right fairly soon; here's what I think, really. Kate sees me as some sort of exotic pet - I've read all these books and so forth, books that Kate, god love her, probably isn't really all that interested in. Which is not to do down Kate's intellect, it's just that a lot of the time, some of my books are sort of covered in ... terrible things, I suppose.

I don't know - Is marriage the ideal plan in this sitch?

02:46 / 07.10.06

She does seem to love me though - I am quite tall!

03:18 / 07.10.06

Pete,

I have never heard of you or your work, but it is my understanding that you're some sort of poet. I like poetry. And poets who have the good sense to dress the part. You seem, from the photo above, to fall into this category. Where, I wonder, did you purchase that shirt?

Oh! I almost forgot. Why do you have your arm around a broom in a green dress? Are you a "Dadaist"?

Thank you,
Wesley Tubbington

03:40 / 07.10.06

It is a nice shirt, isn't it?

God knows, honestly, where I got it from, but I think it sets off my tan in quite a cool way.

(I'm going to rearrange the discussion round here, thus - sorry about this, and so on, but I feel as if it has to be done - Guys, write a poem)

Write a pome.

10:48 / 07.10.06

Well or don't - mainly, I think it's quite good that I'm wearing what seems to be a corkscrew round my neck in that photo. Always be prepared!

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:47 / 07.10.06

Pete, Pete,
Are you "effete"?
Some think you're sweet
But I'd like to beat

My fists upon your fucking face
That's not acceptable in this "space"
Or, really, any other place
Except the ones which, with good grace
Acknowledge you're a waste of space
To break your bones would be quite "ace"
Some might think that makes me a disgrace
But I'd like to kill you,
With a mace.

15:23 / 07.10.06

All right!

Listen guys, I'll be honest.

As some of you may know, my association with The General (this is not a euphemism for my relationship with heroin) has been a creative and fruitful one ever since I had my little sojourn in prison so that I could get on with writing my songs and poems in peace.

However.

It has been brought to my attention that The General, although a dab hand with a crack pipe and shiv, is really quite shit at toasting. While this doesn't much differentiate him from any other members of the band (the bassist can't play guitar, I can't write lyrics or indeed music - but who cares, right? It's about the feeling!) me and the guys have chosen to operate a policy of last in, first out, and have - not without some difficulty, I might add - chucked him out.

It's all very sad, and so on, and I personally found it a draining emotional experience and was forced to drown my sorrows by having anal with Kate Moss (this is a euphemism for taking heroin) for a couple of very gruelling days.

But the good news is, there's now room for a wordsmith of exactly your level of talent in the band. Welcome to the family, Fly!

Regrettable Juvenilia

15:37 / 07.10.06

Excellent! I hope you won't object if my methodology for providing "vibes" at gigs involves smashing your face (your stupid, stupid, stupid face) into the stage repeatedly, until you don't, well, until you don't have a nose anymore, Pete?

It's what the people want. It's what they really want.

22:19 / 07.10.06

To be honest, mate, this is the sort of thing that The General ( GONE, now) used to say, before the fall.

Enough of your lip, Mr F, just get on with the Science! Or is that 2 much 2 ask for?

It's not a joke.

22:26 / 07.10.06

Of course, though, any rhymes you'd care to put together will be treated with love.

Regrettable Juvenilia

09:40 / 27.06.07

Pete - there are rumours that you and Kate will be entertaining people in the queue at Wimledon today. Musically, I mean, not sexually. Given this, I have to know: do you think Tim Henman has any kind of place on the good ship Albion as it sails its merry way to Arcadia, or is he a bloody disgrace?

All Acting Regiment

12:41 / 27.06.07

Hey Pete, my mate Emily, 12, Nazi, fancies you.

16:54 / 27.06.07

Tim Henman is the latter, I fear. Speaking as a poet, I can't very well support the career of a man who claims never to have read a book in his life, now can I?

And big hugs to Emily. Chaste ones though - that's a whole can of worms I'd rather not open.

(Again).

17:32 / 27.06.07

Can I also take this opportunity to say that the stories my former hero, Peter Perret of Only Ones 'fame', has been hawking round the papers lately are just that, stories.

I did not steal any clothes, records, computers, money or drugs from him, and I did not stay at his house either. He stayed at mine.

I don't know why he's saying these things about me (well all right, actually I do - it must be difficult for people who aren't as handsome, talented and successful as me, plus he's got a tour to promote and all that,) but the next time I see him I'm going to take it up with him. I've already created a blood painting about it, called 'Pete D Makes Pete P Feel Very Sorry With The Power Of His Poetry' (although Kete says I'm not really supposed to do those anymore) and witten a couple of very angry things in my diary.

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:59 / 29.06.07

Pete,

What say you to those who feel that, in your recent photoshoots for Roberto Cavalli, you look like you're auditioning for a Tim Burton movie about a tragic yet sensitive $@#*&ing mime?

13:34 / 29.06.07

I do look to be in quite a lot of pain there, don't I? Existential or otherwise.

Don't worry though, I wasn't. Or at least I don't think I was - it may not surprise anyone to learn that I don't actually remember all that much about the session.

Regrettable Juvenilia

07:31 / 05.07.07

Pete!

I'm a little worried, the news is that Kate has broken up with you, perhaps because you were "playing away". Apparently you claim to have ended the relationship yourself, because you needed some space, man, even if that space was the White City caravan park.

Can you give us the inside story? More importantly, are you okay?

08:51 / 05.07.07

Kate and I will sort out our problems eventually, I guess.

Cheers for your concern, though - I huggle my fans.

(Actually, if you could arrange a 'pot of tea' or some such, round your gaff, I'd be happy enough to swing by and play you a couple of my new songs.

They're better than the older ones, I think. I'm quite sure they are.

Although the older ones were brilliant, weren't they?

I have to write a(nother) generation-defining hit, she says, or La Moss is going to leave me for he whose name shall not be named ... As I'm sure you can imagine, I'm trying to be a stand-up guy at the moment, but in a crucial respect, failing.)

Plus, I'm a bit gutted about my diaries.

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:35 / 09.07.07

Well Pete, if you find your resolve weakening and the prospect of some cooked crack or "the horse" starts to seem enticing, just remember the cautionary tale of Pearl Lowe, who has surely been through darker times than you would ever like to see.

13:27 / 09.07.07

I know to many, I'm considered a very handsome guy, a talented poet, and also a bit of an arse (mainly the latter, I suppose) but I'm not nearly as bad as Alex 'farmer' James, am I?

I mean at least I suffer, you know?

Well, all right, not really, but at least I have the decency to get arrested every now and again.

08:38 / 11.08.07

So, has anyone had the chance to read my diaries 'The Books Of Albion' yet?

And if not, why not?

Although I do appreciate that they're quite expensive. And fairly difficult to read - their coruscating honesty is such that I, the writer, couldn't really go back there, emotionally, to the extent of the two or three minutes it would have taken me, on the phone, to hire somebody to type them up. But I was so tired of 'trying to the right thing', I suppose.

I think they start off quite well - I seem like a young man with poor handwriting, but big dreams.

Probably (although I'd maintain that this open to debate) I shouldn't have taken all that heroin.

10:13 / 11.08.07

Never mind all that bollocks, just get my weed delivered, I'm going batty here.

12:20 / 11.08.07

In my defence, I, at least, have never helped John Leslie achieve orgasm.

Not everybody can say that.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

12:23 / 11.08.07

In my defence, I, at least, have never helped John Leslie achieve orgasm.

He attacked me once, you know. Crazed, he was. It took three of us to beat him off.

...I'll get me coat.

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