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shit, that sucks...
I very, very strongly agree with the "take the person as ze is, and if you're not comfortable with that, it's better to not have a relationship with hir than try to change hir" POV, but also know from experience that if you love someone, it's often very hard not to want to change them... my passionately libertarian beliefs and my deeply felt experience of being on the recieving end of such behaviour (by parents, friends and others) tend to (usually, and thankfully) get the better of my impulses to do so, but it can still be hard to not do so without realising it...
I appreciate that a lot of people don't understand the self-cutting thing (and i also think using the blanket term "self-harm" for it (especially when the same term is used to cover things that actually are suicidal or parasuicidal in intent) isn't helpful), but, well, i think that kind of comes down to experience, and is just a "some people get it, some people don't" kind of thing - some people i know understand that it can be not so much a problem as a (not necessarily the, or the best, but one) solution to a problem, and those that don't, i tend not to tell about it...
(for me, in the times when i have needed it, it's been not so much "self-destructive" as arguably "self-creative"... but Shiva being my favourite deity and Bakunin my favourite political philosopher may have something to do with that...)
bloody hell, the whole Hindu pantheon's on this thread... have a pic (hope that isn't stepping too far into Megatron's territory...) |
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