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Stranger in a Strange Land

 
 
COG
08:52 / 13.08.06
I've very recently moved permanently (I hope) to Spain, and as in the time when I spent 6 months here, I've noticed myself being a slightly different person in many ways. My Spanish is by no means fluent, so that obviously throws up lots of angsty barriers to official and casual communication, but on the other hand, I sometimes feels that it frees me up to just burble away to whoever is in front of me.

I'm in Barcelona, so I have that comfortable London feeling of just blending in with the crowd, and no one gives you that "foreigner" look until I open my mouth.

I've been instantly cut off from my friends and family at home, which would usually make me grumpy and itchy to see them, but so far I'm quite happy to be in my own little world of language learning and job hunting. I have none of my books here and no TV, so that makes me intensely interested in the cultural input that I can receive through the computer. I'm hoping to post a lot more to Barbelith, now that I'm not so easily distracted by other media.

A bit of a jumble of impressions there to start off with. I'll add more as things develop. I know a bunch of you guys have made this kind of instant relocation. How was it for you.

Oh yeah, I realised yesterday that I hadn't looked at the sky for 6 days. Too much fresh content at ground level. Maybe when you find yourself staring at clouds, you know it's time to move on.
 
 
Slate
07:38 / 15.08.06
Hey Cog, I have a similar experience. The last 18 months have been spent living and working in India and Turkey. It has messed with my head, changed who I am and how others perceive me. I have had to get used to being permanently outside my comfort zone and always having to re-adjust my conceptions about life in general, and what it means to be human in more and increasingly more diverse ways. I thought I had an open mind before I went, which is half the reason I signed up for the job, wanting to open myself to other cultures. So not really having been outside of a "Western" paradigm before I jumped into the deep end by living in Mumbai on and off for 6 months.

It affects different people differently when it comes down to details on how another culture is absorbed by an individual. My Indian experience was very different from my Turkey stay of 8 months, and both cultures have affected me in different ways.

My shifts in behaviour concerning India were scary for me in the beginning. I was not initially prepared for the obvious differences in culture that affronted me as soon as I got off the plane. I am an independent guy by nature and when the hoards of Indian luggage porters who hang around the airport all ran towards me shouting and waving their hands in the air, that’s when my green green ass knew I really wasn’t in Kansas anymore. The airport beggars then started to move in and all the while my nostrils were still trying to get used to the “sweet smells of Mumbai”. They still are actually The drive from the airport to the hostel near the centre of the city was one I will never forget. Being over 6 foot tall and pale completion blond I stood out everywhere I went. I was hassled at every street and every corner when I went out to have a look at the place. It took 2 weeks for me to get my appetite back, I just wasn’t hungry. But since first going to India I have gained 20 kilos… and a beard…

Example, I had to tone down my flowery English language and just use direct, to-the-point words which made me come across a bit arrogant or angry I guess. The classes of people within the Indian culture, the Caste system, were the next thing I had to grapple with, and I still am to be honest. I have a ‘lithe post still simmering on the backburners about this and am still not ready to post it up. The contract I worked under stated I return to Australia every month so I had a chance to ‘get out of the pool’ for a week. It was really like I was swimming there for a while. Example, I had a concept of ‘personal space’ (about 1 meter) which I now no longer have, you can get as close to me as you like and I won’t flinch or squirm which is what I used to do. Because of my appearance a certain group or caste of people want to touch me. I think it is for good luck, I have no idea, even the local Mumbai guys, Maharashtrians, I worked with said it was quite unusual.

The changes have been endless my friend, I will be honest. I may be heading for a breakdown of some kind, I don’t know? It has been hard to reassess everything every couple of months. Friends and family have expressed concern at some point. I have had several falling outs with friends back home and now when I do get here, to home, I feel as though I feel more at home in Mumbai… It is changing again, I have been home for the longest time since Oct. 04 and it has been healing. Connecting and trying to patch shit up between myself and my magical mysterious angels who are my friends.

I have spent the last 5 months of 06 in Hindustan and will be going back in a week or so time. Every time I go back it is different in some way, I leave with a different impression and also a different value. Some good, some not so. The change in Media was a big one for me, particularly in Turkey, with which I have many fond memories of.

I am addicted to it though. I want to leave again, to pack my suitcase and get for another 5 months. I have several other countries on the cards coming up in the future, if I can do the job, the options are endless. I will be a stranger in a strange land for quite some time yet, but I will always be coming home every now and again which may just keep me sane enough to survive and keep doing it.

Cog, if you are interested in further anecdotes or stories I had a blog up for both countries I went to if you want them. They are not live anymore; I can send you some posts though. PM me.
 
 
COG
14:07 / 17.08.06
I'd be interested in the tales from Turkey definitely.

More thoughts - I'm getting tired a lot but this is probably just the muggy weather here at the moment. Also I'm hungry all the time. I had this while in Valencia last year, and even though I didn't do any physical work as such except for walking around, and I ate tons, I ended up losing a bit of weight. Less booze maybe. Or the fabled Mediterranean diet.

With the language, my level is intermediate I reckon, and I'm much better than I expected to be. My head often swims with words and phrases especially just before bed.

Can't write anymore right now, I'm too tired and hungry.
 
 
Happy Dave Has Left
14:34 / 17.08.06
I worked in Romania for a while, in a school. I was part of a Western team, and for large proportions of time socialised and worked alongside them. However, I found the times that I was with my host family or just wandering with my host around the town to be my happiest memories of my time there. It was somewhere between total immersion (speaking Romanian around the house, getting drunk with Romanians, helping to get milk from the cow out back) and standard backpacker cultural insulation (hanging out with other Brits, probably mortally offending the locals every time we went out). I really want to try living in another country again, but on a more permanent basis. This thread is definitely food for thought.
 
 
Disco is My Class War
03:35 / 19.08.06
Is this really a Head Shop thread? If it's more about experiences, wouldn't it do better (and get a wider reception) in the Conversation?
 
 
COG
08:01 / 19.08.06
Well, my aim was to pin down some of the inner changes that this type of experience can produce. I don't want to read a list of "..and then I ate a cockroach" stories. I know that I'm a different person when I'm abroad and I was hoping that others would examine their own experiences and maybe end up with something interesting about wholesale cultural changes.
 
 
petunia
18:19 / 20.08.06
Like the thread. Agree that it might not be Head Shop material. But i definitely like the thread.

I've been thinking about this topic a lot recently, as there are a lot of people at my work who come from other countries. Polish, Spanish, Dominican, etc. I find it a little bizarre and way cool to have the strangeness of my own culture pointed out by those to whom it isn't the norm.

I spent nearly a year living in Paris, and while it isn't exactly India, it has definitely left me a different frame of mind and a different understanding of what it is to be 'foreign'.

The sense of being an outsider in a new country can be quite overwhelming at times, especially at the start. Slowly you become aware of the hundreds of tiny differences between cultures. It forces a strange kind of detatchment upon you.

I remember returning to the uk and, for the first time in my life, passing through my home country as if it were foreign. Things that 'are just like that' suddenly seem strange and new. Things open from a new angle.

For example, I'd always seen european tv as rather tacky and lacking in production values. You could smell the cheesiness of the soaps and drama, and the comedy pogrammes just looked bizarre. In contrast, the UK stood as a bastion of good production values, true humour and, well.. class i guess (yes, i was young and naive).

On my return from France, I suddenly noticed all the glaring holes in the production, in the acting, in the humour. British tv had suddenly become 'foreign'.

I suppose it's like how we ususally remain unaware of our own smell, or the sound of our own voice. We live so constantly with some things that we consider them 'just so' and fail to even register major elements of them.

Being a foreigner helped me to realise the strange relativity of our cultures. It gave me a chance to notice my own cultural conceptions and assumptions. It's easy now to understand how cultural imperalism remains a problem.

It's quite a subtle thing, really, but there's definitely a part of me with a different appreciation for the interaction of cultures. I'm more aware of the potential for misunderstanding, for surprise and general amusement that lies in the constant mix of our various ways of life.

But I suppose if this is to be a Head Shop thread, we need to extract some of the experiential elements of this and bring them into a more theory/philosophy framed discussion, n'est-ce pas?

So a few questions/points to consider:

- What similarities and differences are there between learning a language and learning a new culture?
- Does moving abroad facilitate the understanding of a language?
- How far can one learn a language without learning a culture?
- How much does our birth/life culture affect our sense of self?
- At what point does one stop being foreign to a country?
- Where does the boundary lie between foreignness and domesticity?
- Can one be a foreigner in one's own country?
- Is there some similarity between moving to a new country and making some other kind of social transition (new job, house, friends etc)?
- Is there some element of self-identification in the realm of nationality? How does this self-identification interact with the 'ID of the nation'?

I'm sure there are a lot more, and better, questions that could be asked...

Some examples spring to mind in consideration in some of these points -

Members of religious communties may often prefer to identify primarily as 'of religion X' rather than 'of country Y'.

Many people have problems being considered 'foreign' if they are of an ethnic minority, even if they have lived in a country since birth - they self-identify as 'of country Y', but may be seen as 'of country Z' or 'of ethnicity B' by other members of the nation.

---

I suppose a lot of these questons could turn the discussion towards a consideration race relations, but the original post seems to want a more personal or singular discussion - instead of asking 'how do we define race/nationality?', it's asking 'what happens to you or me when we go to live elsewhere?'.

So um.. Some kind of discussion of the process of interaction in a new environment, grounded in experiential understandings of the process? How do our minds and selves change when immersed in a new place?

I suddenly wish i'd actually done my Heidegger reading in uni...
 
 
COG
20:59 / 21.08.06
A nice list of questions there. I'm going to start by addressing "can one be a foreigner in your own country?". In my opinion, yes, rather you can feel that sense of detachment and disconnectedness which is supposedly the foreigners experience. I think many of us, in this wacky world of niche tastes and internet sources of information, have been taken aback by a realisation that 90% of your family and workmates have no idea what your talking about. It's got to the stage where I have no idea what they're talking about either, when it concerns some cable TV show I'm never going to see, or an internet joke video that has swept the UK, and which I have automatically deleted (grumpy bastard that I am). The age of common reference points within national boundaries is over (at least in thoroughly online countries) and that is one of the things that made a country seem like a country. I notice that one of the stories that you mentioned revolved around the effect of foreign TV. I find even travelling within the UK and watching a different local news, freaks me out a bit. A whole other country hidden to the side of the one that you thought you lived in.

The flipside is, we have these shiny new communities of like-minded but distant people. I have made two good friends through Flickr who I now see whenever I am in Valencia.

__________________


A thought I had today - without the social cues of language, I feel I am a lot more sensitive to phsical cues of bodylanguage etc, as to when a conversation has ended, when someone wants to be left alone etc etc.
A bit like interacting with young children or people with learning disabilities maybe.
 
 
feline
04:16 / 22.08.06
Interesting thread! I left England over a decade ago and since then have lived in France, Brazil (briefly), Scotland (okay it's not overseas - but for a southern Englander it was a bit of a culture shock at times), and now Oz.

I think one thing that happens when you live overseas for a while is that you can lose a sense of where 'home' is - or rather, home becomes a person / level of comfort rather than a place.

Also I find that every time I move somewhere new I go through the same cycle of emotions over the first few months: I start by being bewildered; then I love EVERYTHING about the new place; then I go through a phase of being really critical of it; and then gradually I'm able to see it a bit more objectively - the good points, the less good points... Then I'm more able to sort through how I might want to adapt to the new culture and how I might not. It's definitely an opportunity to examine yourself and your habits in a new light.

Random thoughts in relation to some of .trampetunia's questions:

Does moving abroad facilitate the understanding of a language?
Easy one: yes, definitely. You get to speak it not only in the classroom but in the pub etc, and you'll learn a lot of different stuff that isn't in the text books...

How far can one learn a language without learning a culture?
This is a harder one: how would you define, for example, the culture of people who speak English, (encompassing USA, UK, Australia, NZ, Canada, parts of india etc etc)? Would a non-english speaking person need to learn any/all of those cultures to speak English? I think you can probably learn to communicate in a language without knowing the culture - but you might be limited in situations you can communicate well in (eg formal vs informal registers, understanding jokes...). On the other hand, can you really get to know a culture without learning their language? that might be harder.

How much does our birth/life culture affect our sense of self?
Depends! I think you drag around a lot more birth-culture baggage than you realise until you're confronted with it, as others have said in the thread already.

At what point does one stop being foreign to a country?

Probably never!

Can one be a foreigner in one's own country?

Oh yes... Quite quickly too once you go away and come back and find it's "changed so much" (or more to the point, you have changed so much!)

Is there some element of self-identification in the realm of nationality?
Personally I find I'm gradually losing my conscious sense of "Britishness" or self-identification as a Brit, but I don't feel I identify with being Australian (or French, which I am by marriage) either. I think the more I travel the less I care about my nationality somehow. Sorry, that doesn't answer the question though.

I have another question too: do you find that you perceive yourself / others perceive you as different depending on the language you are speaking? My French partner tells me I am different (he says nicer) when I speak French. I'm certainly more sarcastic - possible more cynical? in English, although it is no more effort for me to speak either language. Maybe it's just me!
 
 
Slate
11:29 / 22.08.06
consider it done .trampetunia great quiz BTW!

- What similarities and differences are there between learning a language and learning a new culture?

My experience was that you could not separate the two. To be there is to learn the culture and to learn the culture I had to learn the language. Turkey was the stand out here, I really had to sit down with dictionaries and force myself to learn different words. I did move onto other things like it's history. Initially I didn't have time to do any prep work, I basically had 2 weeks notice of a 20 week contract. While keeping in mind that the current Turkish language & certainly culture in its present form was only 80 years old, I wanted to learn much more than I did, true in more respects than just the language. Learning the culture for me was very much easier.

Differences being the obvious like you have to sit down and learn the language, the culture however, you are continually immersed in 24/7, if you want it, not that you get much choice. Language skills were a hassle but I did manage to get around absolutely fine. I am still yet to hold a fluent Turkish conversation, but I rented a flat and looked after myself for 5 months.

- Does moving abroad facilitate the understanding of a language?
Depends to what level. There are over 100 different dialects in India and I guess one widely accepted standard of Hindi. I only know a few words in Hindi as I have certain difficulty with all aspects of this language, and to some extent at this point in time, overall culture(but that wasn't part of the question was it? was it even implied?). I learnt some Hindi swear words which did me no good at all, a very disrespectful thing to do is curse an Indian guy in his native tongue. I guess that might run analogous to what you are asking? I picked up Turkish faster; when everyone was talking fluent Turk, I could still get a general jist of what the conversation was about. Especially after about 7 months there, I could join in on certain topics(in english) because of all the other physical/emotional cues that go along with conversation, I am so glad these are one of our species similarities.
I agree with cog has said here “without the social cues of language, I feel I am a lot more sensitive to phsical cues of bodylanguage etc, as to when a conversation has ended, when someone wants to be left alone etc etc.”
I am saying the facilitation of understanding the language in a contextual meaning, is having to fall back on your(almost primal) instincts and start to log everything that goes on around you in relation to what the words sound like and what people are doing on a detailed level. And you don’t even notice you are doing it. In moving abroad I tended to be hyper aware of what is going on around me in terms of physical human cues. Instincts, adrenalin and senses are up after a few Turkish coffee's so I would try to remember everything in terms of scenes of emotions(?). The sibilance 'ssss' features so much in Turkish pronunciation and can be used so many different ways to effect words, sentences.


- How far can one learn a language without learning a culture?
Assuming you there, yeah as no idea says, you would be limited in certain situations, and in a further visceral sense, you are enveloped in a culture such as India. It surrounds you, even in your cosy 5 star hotel room. Also in Turkey, call to prayer erupting through the entire city from speaker systems from every mosque 5 times a day from 5am is something you have to experience firsthand of course. I would say that learning the language was forced on me in Turkey compared to India. I have the British to thank for my communicational ease, to some extent, in India and I feel if I was to learn Hindi as much as I learnt Turk, it would be for self amusement rather than necessity. Then again, I had extenuating circumstances for not wanting to really spend much time actually learning any foreign languages to a fluent proficiency, I was under incredible stress from my job in both countries with a lot of other things to deal with so it was learning on an as needs basis. Oh, and I started dating a Turkish woman who knew a little English, so everywhere we went for 2 months, it was us and 2 dictionaries so learning the language and culture in this respect was ‘hand in hand’

- How much does our birth/life culture affect our sense of self?
I tend to wallow in my birth/life culture myself because it affords me so much… No seriously though, what is with this question? If you never leave then your birth life culture will be your sense of self. Isn’t that how cultural stereotypes are formed? Being from Australia I was there for 6 months before I went to Gallipolli so does this make me a bad aussie? I don’t understand this question when framed from another culture’s perspective. My sense of self when I am in another country, I guess I drew links between cultures readily, at the drop of a hat, to make myself feel better. When 2 cultures are vastly different as was the case with India, my sense of self was amplified to the point of frothing over into oblivion. Boiling to evaporation. The self can’t be held responsible for the differences, the self can just blindly stab out questions into the dark on how things could be like this. Then it hits you, your own birth/life culture has been a straightjacket, and now you’re free to start questioning and picking holes in everything ‘back home’ until you get back there and just slip into everything again with a ho-hum yawn and tick tock where’s my fucking coffee.

- At what point does one stop being foreign to a country?
Never.

- Where does the boundary lie between foreignness and domesticity?
Haggling prices and quality over groceries for dinner at the local street cart full of vegetables, then realising he was talking kilo’s and you thought he means each. If you are a foreigner who can do that in another country then you have crossed the boundary. I think time would be a function of the line here. One thing I have to comment on is the continual comparisons between the two. I was lucky enough to spend enough time in each country I was in to immerse myself enough to grasp community concerns, wishes, etc. via the media but also word of mouth events.

- Can one be a foreigner in one's own country?
Some aspects yes, others no. Depends on what facet you want to look at it from. Many variables to include/assume. Overall, I don’t want to be, I need something tangible to form some sort of coherent reality.

- Is there some similarity between moving to a new country and making some other kind of social transition (new job, house, friends etc)?

Yes! I started heavy drinking of alcohol to cope. It's so cheap and readily available in both countries, yes, India and Turkey. I became a raging alcoholic night-clubber in both places abroad, and I get home and mooch most weekends, so I bought a new apartment last week actually.

- Is there some element of self-identification in the realm of nationality? How does this self-identification interact with the 'ID of the nation'?
Fish out of water stuff, yes. I am assuming this question frames it in the context of being overseas as a foreigner? Certainly when I was in Turkey and went to Gallipoli, I felt the most “Australian” I have ever felt in my life. I was there embracing everything about “Dear Old Home.” Somewhere in Turkey I read that Australia had a "Morbid Fascination" with the place. I had all of the emotions running through me while there; gratefulness, shame, anger, pity. Self – identification is where I was at visiting the war graves. Mourning and remembering what the self sacrifice was for, if it was me on the front years ago…

I did focus at lengths on my nationality in Turkey as I was constantly reminded of the Turkish nation while I was there. There are several nationalistic celebrations in Turkey revolving around one man, and it did start to raise questions in me. I had never encountered levels of national pride to that extent before. Turkish flags everywhere, pictures of Attaturk 10 stories high all over the city, mesmerising!
 
 
maneki neko
17:47 / 23.08.06
I like this thread! I moved to England from Germany about 6 years ago and I think I have changed quite a lot because of it, but the changes are very subtle and hard to formulate.

Does moving abroad facilitate the understanding of a language?
Yes, definitely, although I’m sure I still miss the fine nuances of the language and don’t always understand all the jokes. I have noticed though that I now mostly think and dream in English and that it somehow feels easier to speak English than German. Whenever I visit Germany I often struggle for words or substitute a German word with an English one – which is probably quite annoying to the listener.

How much does our birth/life culture affect our sense of self? Where does the boundary lie between foreignness and domesticity?
The boundary seems to constantly shift in my case and it also seems to be influenced by my mood. There are times when I am at work, meet a friend or am at my flat with my partner and cats where I very much feel at home in England. These are all situations where I feel confident, safe and part of a group. Whenever I am out of my depth on the other hand and I feel insecure or miserable, I tend to think of myself as foreign and as if I don’t belong.(I tend to personalize most things in my life though, so that might just be me.)

Do you find that you perceive yourself / others perceive you as different depending on the language you are speaking?
Yes, I tend to be much politer when speaking English and at times even over cautious – my partner has described the English part of my personality as over nice. In German I am much more direct – not rude, but I seem to speak my mind more without worrying too much how the other person might perceive me.
 
 
COG
19:58 / 23.08.06
OK, more thoughts about language learning specifically.

Being in the country has to help with learning the language, but I think that it can make the process more painfull. You are surrounded by it all the time and cannot have a time out to jump back to your own language (except by muttering to yourself, which I do a lot). But this seems to me a good thing, and will accelerate the arrival of the tipping point of feeling ok with chatting in the new language. I feel that one has to relax your grip on your native language and let it drift out of your brain. This leaves room for the new one. I'm sure there will be a cross-over period where I have a mushy brain and can't communicate fluently in either.

I spent a few hours with an English person last night, and this morning I was tongue tied in Spanish with my flatmates.

This reminds me of someone I knew who came to England at the age of 14 or so, and so doesn't have 100% English, nor 100% her birth language. She still talks in a kind of childish way in her first language apparently. This means she is not fluent in any language. What does that mean for your internal thought processes?

Continuing what I and Slush Fund mentioned about being hyper aware of other cues, it exhausts me when i've spent a few hours in Spanish speaking company. Just listening and watching everyone is a full time effort to keep up, and hardly leaves any brain power for actually saying anything. I've been sleeping pretty well.

The immersion in a culture hasn't been such a shock for me. Spain is pretty similar to the UK in most ways, and the ways in which it's not are part of what brought me here. I'm pretty relaxed about being among new people, specifically because there is a barrier of non communication which excuses a lot. People know I'm foreign and that's either interesting or funny to them. This enables me to relax. I'm so concerned about getting the right words out of my mouth, that I forget to be anxious about their actual impact on people. I'm not thinking "did that come across as rude?" rather "I'm talking Spanish!"

So many questions already in this thread that demand a lot of thought. I'll try and tackle some more soon.
 
 
Jesse
00:35 / 24.08.06
Question for everyone who has been abroad--particularly studying. My girlfriend just left to Lyon for 5 months to study a semester abroad. I'm excited for her, but I'm afraid that it may distance us. While I anticipate visiting her for about 10 days come October, I'm afraid of a divide forming between us, in spite of my effort to learn some basics of the language and keep up with its culture and political trends.

Have you noticed this before? What would you suggest to minimize the divide we may experience?
 
 
Slate
03:01 / 24.08.06
Have you noticed this before? What would you suggest to minimize the divide we may experience?

Get a webcam and a decent net connection if you can, it helps!!! I was in a relationship with a girl from Turkey and we did keep things going for a while when I left. But it was completely diffrent to your situation, she is Turk with little English language skills and I was Aussie with little Turkish Language skills. I used to think 5 months was a long time, it's not. Just keep the vibe between you two going and if you can last that, I think the relationship will be stronger for it. I would not panic, just take it as new level for your relationship. The divide will only occur in your mind regardless of the distance apart and if you stay committed emotionally, the ties between you will grow*...

*Caveat: I am really *really* hopeless with women, take this advice at your own risk.
 
 
feline
02:23 / 25.08.06
It took my partner and I four years of being apart before we settled in the same country. At the risk of sounding like a magazine agony-aunt, if the relationship is strong enough, you'll survive it. Keeping up with what she is doing is good, but you should also get out and do your own thing too so that you have something to focus on / something to talk to her about...

(This discussion might be better in Conversation, no?)

maneki neko, does your partner speak english or German or both? Do you find it affects the dynamics of your relationship for one of you to have to speak the other person's language (if that's the case)?
 
 
COG
12:14 / 25.08.06
Sorry Jesse, could we keep on topic in the thread. I have a feeling it will be hard enough to do so anyway with the amount of talking points already thrown up.

Feel free to contribute what the effects on your partner are, as far as they are apparant to you, once she has made the move. Another interesting angle to look at this situation from.
 
 
maneki neko
21:33 / 25.08.06
maneki neko, does your partner speak english or German or both? Do you find it affects the dynamics of your relationship for one of you to have to speak the other person's language (if that's the case)?

When we first met my partner didn't speak any German and all our communication depended on my (school) English, which did affect the dynamics in our relationship as it was always me who was struggling for words or had difficulties explaining myself. It probably didn't help that we lived in England at the time and I often let my partner speak for me in offical situations - like getting a national insurance number and things like that. (I cringe when I think back to that.) I became more quiet than I was anyway and quite dependent.
Just speaking in English also meant that my partner had an advantage whenever we argued, as by the time I had formed the sentences to express my opinion the debate had already moved to a different point. I just seemed to turn into the "silent" partner, which at one point became too much and I left and went back to Germany.

My partner followed me a few months later and then had to learn German, which seemed to help us in creating a more equal relationship. (Needing help in finding a job, not having any friends etc. helped as well.) Although the learning of German was fairly successful we still mostly speak English with each other but it doesn't seem to matter anymore. Maybe because now I can express myself better in English (and argue) and I also know that I could speak German with my partner if I wanted or needed to.
 
 
Olulabelle
17:14 / 29.08.06
I don't know if this is a headshop thread, but it's a very nice thread and I like it.

My Auntie married an Italian man and went to live in Milan when she was twenty. She speaks fluent Italian but with a broad cockney accent, even after forty years of living in Italy so I think some things don't change.

They say that once you start dreaming in a language you know you are fluent but I have no experience of this, having only ever travelled for fairly short times abroad.

My father used to travel all over the world taking photographs and I remember he told me of the huge culture shock when he first arrived in Turkey on his own and he couldn't read any of the roadsigns and the sound of people being called to prayer was eerie and completely unfamiliar. He said he had never felt so lonely in his life as he did then, with no-one from his culture arond him, no-one he could discuss how he was feeling with. So I suppose that in many ways our culture makes us feel secure, it provides us with a feeling of support, we are 'one of us'. When that cushion is removed and we realise we are alone and unsupported people can become afraid and perhaps that manifests itself as loneliness.
 
 
Slate
05:31 / 30.08.06
Olulabelle, I can identify with what your father felt in Turkey intimately. I had the same feelings of extreme loneliness but I also had a job to do which kept my mind busy from the constant, sometimes unconscious, comparisons between my native country and Turkey.

I’ll try to veer the thread back into headshop territory if I can. Being a stranger in a strange land for an extended length of time does force oneself, well it forced me to anyway, to re-evaluate & re-assess personal intuition. Habits, assumptions about my own & the foreign culture at hand, humanistic theories, and I guess in my case, self-identity, were examined over and over again and to some extent still are. I really don’t think I would have gone to this level if I had been travelling with friends for a vacation. I have chatted to a heap of back backer mates about this; I don’t think you can truly get a feel for a culture by spending a week or so travelling from one border to another.

In making the comparisons between the cultures I tried hard to make them on a neutral basis, that is, reduce my assumptions to zero about the other culture and from there try to figure out why the differences exist on a certain topic etc. With so many differing elements within a culture, both on the Macro and Micro level, when you first try to assimilate the foreign culture into your own paradigm, many times I was really left trying to connect the dots on the why's, how’s and when of a particular instance, topic or situation.

Philosophical differences were abounding in both India and Turkey where these cultures have a depth of history that modern Australia will never have on a humanistic level. By this I mean that it is my belief that historical "baggage" within a sovereign culture shapes in modern terms, the direction of a populace. Philosophy & Religion go hand in hand when talking about a national cultural identity I.M.O. and the latter has shaped the cultures of India and Turkey much more than Australia, so naturally my thoughts turned to Australia’s religious cultural shaping and apart from being generally conservative, I was at a huge loss in trying to make comparisons between the “spiritual” aspects of my hosts and my home. I had to make some major shifts in where to place my respect and how to deal with awkward situations.

I did not, once, in my 20 months abroad ever feel as though I was a victim of racism either, which I found quite odd. I was expecting it, seriously. I was made to feel at home where ever I went. I may not have been looking at the right cues perhaps and was ignorant to the subtle sledging if there was any, but I cannot say there was. Is this just a western thing? Well obviously not, when you have India who still practise the Caste system which has been labelled “Institutionalised Apartheid” by some. OK, here is something that did make me feel uneasy in India especially, I was made to feel like a bit of a fool when I did things for myself without letting someone else do it for me. Sitting in the front passenger seat of the car instead of the back seat is bad. Opening your own car door is bad, getting your own bags from the car is bad, getting your own cutlery at a restaurant is bad, pouring your own liquid to drink is bad, opening my own door, not accepting to be served before others when they have been waiting much longer than I… etc etc. I guess this is a “class” thing left over from the British? While I was in India I did ask myself whether the British exploited the Indian Caste system for their own benefit or did the higher Caste Indians exploit the British “Class” system for their own benefit by re-enforcing . It went both ways I presume, but I am always changing which direction I face due to the circumstances I find myself in.

I will post a bit more later on, I just got busted by my boss doing this at work…
 
 
COG
15:00 / 30.08.06
Ok, here's the next installment of what I've been thinking about out here.

Developing the earlier discussion about missing communication cues, I find that when I'm with the Spanish speakers, I'm continually missing some vital bit of information on what's going on. I never know what the group plans are. I never know where we're going or what's planned for later. Over all my times in Spain, I've always found myself in cars going "somewhere", walking into bars to meet "someone" etc etc. This could make one a bit anxious, but in my case, I've been able to go with the flow and just trust the people that I'm with. Without being able to pick up on accents, language use or even what they're saying, I also find myself pre-judging people less and just having to trust them. My inherent suspiciousness goes. This has had 99% good results in my experience. I can't believe all Spaniards are just nice people, so maybe I'm projecting a more open vibe (only partly inadvertantly).

While abroad, I say Yes to a lot more and become a bit more like the person that I would like to be. Anybody had the opposite reaction of withdrawal and non-communication?

Now for a thought that I've had floating around for a while. One can think of every concept as having a Platonic ideal form at it's heart, that we can only experience a certain view of at any one time, rather like a Jazz standard that has had many different interpretations, all of which serve to throw some light on an original tune. Maybe we can think of ourselves as an initial concept or tune, and our environment as a different context that can reveal different aspects of our personality at any one time. We act as performer and audience simultaneously. Our job is to entertain and illuminate, be entertained and learn. Shifting our context by a huge amount (such as a whole country) can lead to the audience craving the old interpretation 'cos they can whistle the tune (homesickness). But an audience willing to stick with it can be rewarded with a whole new way of looking at things (a new life), invigorating and impossible to return to the old way.
 
 
Slate
22:10 / 30.08.06
Beautiful thoughts Cog, an eloquant interpretation
I agree.
 
 
feline
11:02 / 31.08.06
I... become a bit more like the person that I would like to be. Anybody had the opposite reaction of withdrawal and non-communication?


Um... sort of.

I agree that a lot of what we build up in our own country or culture is not necessarily 'useful', eg needless inhibitions, lazy assumptions, pre-judging of people because of cues we get from their accent, appearance etc. It can be refreshing to be forced to shed those lazy layers of personality and look at life anew.

On the other hand, it's sometimes tiringly confronting. For example, before I moved to Australia, I had thought of myself as someone who belonged to certain groups, was aware of certain things etc. On arrival, I was suddenly someone who didn't know any (local) politics, hadn't a clue who won the AFL grand final, couldn't join in any conversations about the local art scene, etc etc. In Australian terms I was suddenly pretty ignorant. My own self-image took a beating.

It's worse when you move to a place where you have to speak a different language. I have a good ear for languages and my French accent is good - when I chat to a French person they won't guess I'm not French. When I first moved to Paris, though, I had a much smaller vocabulary in French than in English (I guess I still do). I had to get used to only being able to express concepts I knew the words for. I was once at a Parisian dinner party, and half way through one of the women there asked me about my name, saying it was unusual. I replied that it was relatively common in the UK. She said, "oh, you're English! I thought you were just a bit simple." [NB Only in Paris would anyone actually say that to your face.]

And yes, I felt pretty 'simple' most of the time: I had become someone who couldn't express an interesting opinion on anything much. I'm not saying I think I'm all that intelligent generally - I often feel pretty ignorant in Barbelith (and particularly Headshop). But moving abroad, I became even more ignorant. Losing aspects of your own personality that you quite like can be hard.

So - finally I'm getting round to answering the question!!! Maybe 'redefining yourself' is a good, healthy thing to some extent, but if you're not especially resiliant you can end up retreating from the new culture rather than embracing it - because the "new ignorant you" that you've become in this new place isn't necessarily a person you want to be.

Add that to the fact that you often have a group of friends in one country, and you get used to thinking of yourself as liked/loved; and suddenly you are an unknown, unloved. Again: liberating - maybe. Lonely - definitely. And confronting to have to accept a new definition of yourself as a loner / loser...

I think this is harder when you move permanently to a new country rather than visiting, as you've got so much more invested in it; if you're just there temporarily you can go with the flow a bit more, knowing you can return to your old self if you want / need to. Considering yourself 'foreign' can be fun (eg I am essentially British, but am here to take advantage of being in a strange place for a while to have fun, be spontaneous, learn and experience new things). But considering yourself 'a misfit' (eg I am now French/Australian/alien, but I don't really fit in) isn't quite so much fun...
 
 
COG
11:48 / 31.08.06
I am quite glad to be a bit simple here (very simple in conversation). It stops me spouting off my endless waffle on politics and anything else I have an opinion on (most things). It's good to meet and become friends with different people than I normally would, but I reckon that as my language skills improve, I may realise that I don't actually like some of my new friends. We'll see.

The cutoff from culture I'm viewing as a positive thing. I've been trying to stop watching tv for a long time, and now I'm in a house without one. I read the papers and the internet of course, but only skin deep in Spanish and I don't know all the back story. In England I was a bit too passive, just reading constantly and absorbing culture, but not having a real output. I felt swamped by stuff. Here, partly due to living on a budget, I'm enjoying more the day to day activities of just living. Buying food, learning my Spanish, listening to my walkman, having a drink with a friend or walking somewhere in the city. Simple yet pleasurable. Maybe this will change after I am more assimilated. Hopefully not entirely.

The bits of UK/US culture that I do experience (podcasts & music mainly) I am enjoying much more, now that they are rare islands in a sea of Hispanic stuff I don't quite get.
 
 
Olulabelle
21:16 / 31.08.06
It's interesting that ordinary tasks in your own country become a 'Thing To Do' in another. Going to buy bread is an episode in itself in France and I can imagine that living in a foreign country on a budget is a lot more interesting than living on a budget in your own country.

The very act of being in a different place with different customs and culture and language can transcend even the most mundane of actions and turn it into an exciting pastime.
 
 
COG
17:09 / 10.09.06
Sorry for no replies for a while. I've been ginding away job, and now also flat hunting.

Olulabelle - Exactly. I have a generally heightened sense of life, and going to shops etc is just more interesting than in England. I reward myself with a budget busting €3 bottle of wine if a complete a task such as opening a bank account or registering with the police for my ID number. I think I´ll have an adrenaline meltdown if I ever find myself in a job interview.

I still have that slight feeling that nothing is real here or ultimately matters, so I find myself charging ahead and doing stuff that I would normally avoid in England.

For instance, I´m completely comfortable with living in a house full of Spanish speaking strangers, yet in England I would only live with good friends or, preferably, on my own.

My language learning seems to run in monthly cycles, and I´ve hit a bit of a dip recently, with the feeling that I'm not advancing. But from past experience I know that my brain will kick in again after a few days of rest.

Ramble ramble blah - I hiked up a big hill today and got a bit sun blasted I think.
 
 
COG
20:31 / 30.09.06
A brief update: I'm totally settled in here now, not thinking about England at all. I have work, a nice new flat and most of my official documents. I miss my friends, but not as much as I expected, and time seems to flow slightly differently here, making it seem like it's not been that long since I saw them. I have a set of friends here, some old, some new and it seems like my life has split in two, with me only being concious of this Spanish one. The other one is continuing in England, but at a slower speed. I'll catch up with it whenever I go back for a visit.

My language skill is improving, with my understanding getting pretty good. Just need to talk more, but I have absolutely no embarassment about doing that any more. The streets look normal to me. Things are normal.

I'll try and write a more coherent post over the next week.

OOh also, meeting A Heart Wreathed in Flame & Lurid Archive tomorrow for beers. Should be fun.
 
 
COG
11:20 / 14.10.06
I have decided that learning a new language can be quite a psychedelic experience. When I'm trying to name something and the word won't come to me, I'm left confronted with the object's essential "is"ness. It seems to taunt me with it's existence, defying me to pin it down with just a word.

I've also noticed my own internal chatter quietening down, as I spend long periods of the day not saying anything. I can wander the streets and not be surrounded with half heard snippets of conversations. I'm aware that this will change as I improve, but for now it's quite a pleasurable interlude.

I think that you need quite a strong character to live in a foreign language environment. You have to feel happy with feeling left out of things, always missing the joke, being inarticulate with others. If you're person who relies on their verbal skills a lot (as I am) this can be painful. Or it can be liberating to other sides of your character.
 
 
Slate
05:31 / 17.10.06
well I am back home again, taking up bad habits I thought I have got rid of. When I left a couple of years ago I was always known as a joker and maybe a bit of an idiot by some people. Now I have been back home for a while(2 months) I find it hard when people impose their old veiws on me and expect me to behave in a certain way and I subconsciously fall back into the same pattern of idiotic behaviour because it is slightly implied and expected. It is making me depressed and so annoyed and forcing me to re-evaluate friendships to the nth degree. I wish they would stop assuming so much about me, I don't want to be rude but if they keep it up, I will find some other humans to be me with...
 
 
sn00p
13:12 / 17.10.06
I was thinking of taking a long trip to Japan, i have some friends there and i've recently learned the language.
Does anybody know how the British are percieved/excepted in Japan post WWII?
 
 
COG
18:15 / 21.10.06
Suitcase Rider - That is one of the "make or break" aspects to such change. The very essence of the experience is that it is completely different on so many levels to what Home is. The people left at home, instantly start off on a divergent life path fom you, and when you meet again there is the risk that it was really only the shared experiences that were keeping you close, rather than shared values or attitudes.

This is all just a speeded up version of the changes that all lives go through. Losing contact with friends, changing priorities, growing up. When it happens instantly it can seem violent and shocking. But, if you think that you're heading in the right direction (which I myself, do) then it is a big rush of positive energy.

Lately I have come to the realisation that I am actually consistently happy. This despite being much poorer and still being as single as a piece of plastic 7" in diameter.
I can feel the potential of my future swellingg inside me and it's really exciting. I know that in one or two years I will be able to communicate properly and I will have pulled off the amazing trick of changing my life entirely.

Shazam
 
 
Dutch
11:23 / 14.11.06
Originally coming from the Netherlands, I spent about two years living in the dutch-speaking part of Belgium, studying philosophy. Although it was only a two hour drive from where I used to live in the Netherlands, living in Belgium was in some ways quite different. Although my experience of the people there is one of welcoming and social acceptance, I never allowed myself to fully acclimate there. I lived there in a room 7 squared meters small, but ended up never really going out or meeting people. I just stayed there and read books, drew weird pictures and wrote(bad) poetry, all the while drinking nightly.

Maybe it was because I'd left the parental house, my nation, my friends and comfort zone, as the summary put it, maybe it was just the fact Belgium has some of the best beers in the world, or maybe it was the nightshop across the street from me.

Anyway, living there, sitting in my room drinking and studying philosophy at the same time was a bit isolating to say the least. I keep getting the feeling of keeping everyone around me at an armlength's distance. Maybe because I knew after the first year, I wouldn't be staying there much longer.

Now I'm back in Holland, though now I live further away from home than I did when living in Belgium. Things seem brighter here, in the northern part. Not the weather but life in general.

Funny thing, two months after I moved here, I found out my ancestors all came from here...
 
 
Benny the Ball
12:59 / 17.11.06
I'm currently working in Qatar, and two things have happened since being out of my national comfort zone. Firstly I should note that the experience has been a little 'sterile' in that I'm working on an event that sees me being driven from an appartment where I rarely interact with locals (although with Qatar having a population of around 800,000 and about 500,000 of these being imigrant workers of one social standing or another beneth native Qatari's) of more note than very breif exchanges of greetings, then into a complex with more workers, but little interaction, where I work fairly long hours for most of the days of the week, so I have the strange sense of being out of my life, but not removed from it in anything but the real sense of missing my wife.
Okay - the first thing that has happened is that I've found myself watching imigrant workers interact with increasing interest and wonder, part of me wishing to know more about not so much them, but how they feel about their position - are they aware that they are in what I as a highly paid westerner would consider menial jobs being paid a bad wage and seemingly living a less than desirable life? They certainly don't seem to be, as most of them, when not working, seem to have a wonderful sense of fun and joy in how they interact with each other. I doubt I'll ever know as I don't speak any of the mixture of their native tongues, and so far the most I've heard anyone say in English is 'good morning sir' and 'where are you from? I am from Bangladesh' but any attempt to go beyond this is normally met with a smile and a shake of the head. I saw a moment between a guy who seemed to be in charge of co-ordinating a bus service and one of the drivers where they seemed to be jokingly making fun of each other, and I really wondered what it all meant. I think that perhaps I'm not being so much placed out side of my national comfort zone, but having a fake national comfort zone almost literally built around me. Whereas most of the workers could well be moving from a situation that could hardly be called a comfort zone, into a situation that sees them seemingly defining their own sense of comfort within parameters.
The second thing is that, I guess maybe feeling like I'm in something of a national 'limbo' has made me think hard about how much I've relied on being in not only a national comfort zone, but a neighbourhoodal one - have lived pretty much in the same area of the same city that I was born in for pretty much all my life - and I'm begining to feel like I want out of it for the first time in my life - almost as though I need the shift in behaviour and certainly thought (I've felt a little down on what I perceive to be a sense of 'wallowing in faliure' or fear of success at home, and want to start looking for something new both inside and out).
 
 
COG
19:06 / 19.11.06
I agree that it's very easy to hide away in your room with booze and DVDs etc. I'm stony broke right now, so I've forbidden booze from the flat for now. So far so good. I've recently arranged a lot of new contacts to meet with and chat Spanish/English. This gets me out of the house and learning every day. It's so refreshing to have a completely different set of priorities and worries. The worries I had in the UK were getting really old.

I'll reiterate that even though I can't spend much money and work is uncertain and I can't communicate fully with people, I'm happy! A change really is as good as a rest.

Benny: your situation sounds familiar to me. I too had been in the same town all of my life and was pretty stuck in my job. By changing one thing in your life, other things will change that you never expected, and this is the real benefit of such life decisions. When people ask me "why have you come to Spain?", I talk about learning the language, the weather, the culture, what I didn't like about England. But the most important reason was probably just to do something different and give my brain a boot in the arse, and see what happened.
 
  
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