ENGLISH ONLY!

11:50 / 05.06.06

Ambushed with this this morning by my co-worker. Didn't think this deserved to be in Switchboard, but did want to talk about it. Co-worker sent an enthusiastic email to the guy as a show of support. I myself am more than a little sickened by the whole thing.

What say you? Me, I'll take my cheesesteak biz elsewhere.

11:54 / 05.06.06

It would probably be worth learning another language just to piss the guy off. Extra fun could be had by pretending not to speak English anymore, and therefore not understanding the sign. Or, y'know, by a bottle of petrol with a rag in the top.

12:08 / 05.06.06

Or, y'know, by a bottle of petrol with a rag in the top.

Soy cadera a ése.

12:09 / 05.06.06

It would probably also be worth learning another language so I knew what you just said.

Jack Fear

12:11 / 05.06.06

Frankly, it's the comments that horrify me.

I had some ready to cut'n'paste, but I've thought better of it. Read 'em yourself, but only if you've got a strong stomach. There's one particularly charming missive attacking the reporter for her ethnicity.

Christ.

This is the 21st Century, people. Get with the fucking program.

12:17 / 05.06.06

"Soy cadera a ése." = "I'm hip to that."

Via the translator widget on m' Mac.

12:17 / 05.06.06

At the age of 5, when greeted in Polish, at the store my answer was: Your in America! Speak English!!

Pot, kettle...

wembley can change in 28 days

12:20 / 05.06.06

Danke schoen. Hey, this is fun! Anyone fancy going to Geno's?

All Acting Regiment

12:25 / 05.06.06

Fucking DICKHEAD.

This is America. Speak Sioux.

DICK.

13:15 / 05.06.06

This is America. Speak Sioux.

I want that on a T-shirt, and I want to see everybody wearing it.

13:33 / 05.06.06

This is America. Speak Sioux.

I want that on a T-shirt, and I want to see everybody wearing it.

Me too. In the mean time, though, I just wrote it in the comments page on that article. I named myself "Johnny" in it, but that's only because I didn't want them to use against me the fact that I'm myself an illegal immigrant... from Cybertron.

petunia

13:46 / 05.06.06

"If you can't tell me what you want, I can't serve you," he said. "It's up to you. If you can't read, if you can't say the word cheese, how can I communicate with you - and why should I have to bend?

Well maybe because

"I got a business to run."

Yeah. Cos it's good business practice to refuse to serve people...

Do you think he refuses to serve dumb people, or people with speech impediments?

Do you think he would refuse to serve his grandparents?

Arrgh.

He's just a silly silly man.

He has driven through South Philadelphia blaring through the SUV's P.A. system denunciations of neighborhood business owners who hire illegal immigrants.

Actually. A bigotted motherfucker.

Can we please make some 'sioux' tshirts?

Pleeease.

And post one to Mr. Vento?

15:00 / 05.06.06

This is America. When Ordering, Speak English.

I think he'll find that it's the United States of America, and that "America" stretches from the northernmost part of Alaska to the southernmost part of Chile, and that while 325 million people who live in that area speak English, 360 million of them speak Spanish (not to mention the 12 million French speakers, 185 million Portuguese speakers, and many millions of others.)

"I got a business to run."

Well, I suppose that's almost English.

But, yeah, apart from not knowing the name of his country or how to speak English correctly, the guy's an idiot.

Jack Denfeld

15:49 / 05.06.06

I don't like that man. I hope his family dies in a car accident. And he loses his business. And he gets super depressed and tries to commit suicide. But fucks up, so he'll always think about it but not be physically able to. And that his caretakers don't speak english.

Evil Scientist

17:02 / 05.06.06

I didn't want them to use against me the fact that I'm myself an illegal immigrant... from Cybertron.

John Megatron. Who knew?

petunia

17:06 / 05.06.06

I don't want mister Vento to suffer.

I hope he lives a long and happy life, full of love and success.

I hope he dies peacefully in his sleep, content with his life.

I hope that he goes straight up to heaven, bypassing purgatory.

I hope that he walks down those gilded roads, marvelling at the lavish banquets heaven holds for him.

I hope that he goes to sit down in one of the restaurants, picks up a menu without pictures, takes a sip of the wonderful wine already there.

I hope the waiter comes to greet him with a joyous smile of love and heavenly affection, fills the wine back to the brim and says to Joey Vento:

"Si señor. Que quieres?"

Triplets

17:19 / 05.06.06

From now on all Americans who call me will have to speak in an RP accent.

17:33 / 05.06.06

You know, the article's comments are even more funny (in a preposterous sor of way) than the article itself. For some reason my "this is america. speak sioux" comment was not posted (did they see trhough my clever "johnny" disguise?), but someone else, probably from here, went ahead and posted the same phrase, so scram it.

btw, I think would be fun to make as much comments as possible, just to bug things up a bit.

Incidentally, one of the cheeses the customer can choose is "provolone". But, wait! Provolone is an italian word. Should one be allowed to use it????

Slim

17:38 / 05.06.06

That happened to me last week when I tried to get some fried chicken and the woman behind the counter only spoke Spanish. She gave me a confused look when I asked for more mustard and repeated attempts proved to be fruitless. Finally, I pointed to the container and said "More." Looking perplexed, she proceeded to take the mustard away, apparently thinking that I was asking for less. I told her not to worry about it and left immediately, fearing that she was going to continue removing food that I had already purchased. I was slightly bewildered as I left the restaurant but brightened up when I discovered that she had given me a couple extra pieces of chicken.

17:47 / 05.06.06

Well, it's a good idea to speak the language when you're serving. But to demand that people who are being served to speak the language is a bit different, don't you think?

Unless that happened in an area where the majority does speak Spanish, in which case you should get your act together and start getting some lessons...duh

Slim

17:55 / 05.06.06

You're right, it's a poor business decision on his part. On the other hand, I've frequently dreamed of running my own restaurant and having the freedom to tell customers to go fuck themselves when they're being obnoxious. I think that's every server's dream, in fact.

Jack Denfeld

18:43 / 05.06.06

Why the fuck were you putting mustard on your fried chicken Slim? Are you from Mars or something?

Slim

18:45 / 05.06.06

It's actually Madi Gras mustard and is served with Popeyes chicken. Delicious and decidedly not nutritious.

Jack Denfeld

18:45 / 05.06.06

YES!!! Popeyes rules! Their biscuits are soooooo yummy.

18:58 / 05.06.06

Incidentally, one of the cheeses the customer can choose is "provolone". But, wait! Provolone is an italian word. Should one be allowed to use it????

We actually call it "freedom cheese" now.

19:22 / 05.06.06

And, just for extra-funniness, this guy's name ("Vento") is Portuguese - and I suppose Italian too (both are very similar "latin-derived" languages) - for "Wind". So, unless he changes his name to "Mr. Wind", he should not be allowed to say his own name

And I really don't like this habit US citizens have to refer to their own country as "America". THIS IS THE NAME OF THE FUCKING CONTINENT*, FOR COLUMBUS'S SAKE!!!" It is not the rest of the New World's fault they have the lousiest, less imaginative name for a country ever in History. There, I said it.

*And it was named after the first guy who realized it was a new continent: Américo Vespúcio, a Spaniard if I remember my History correctly - thus, it is not English, it is a "latino" word!!!!

Jack Fear

19:24 / 05.06.06

Américo Vespúcio, a Spaniard if I remember my History correctly...

An Italian, actually. His name is usually given as Amerigo Vespucci.

19:37 / 05.06.06

Oh, ok, I was using the "Portuguese-ised" version of the name. Well, that kinda ruins my joke. Damn Historical Accuracy, no fun at all.

Either way, it is still not English!

Spyder Todd 2008

19:38 / 05.06.06

Bah. Clearly this man needs to visit Tijuana or something. Then go to a bar, and demand that the bartender serve him in Mexican, because he's in Mexico. Then get beaten up by the bouncer. And then when he's tossed out on his ass, he'll look up at the bar sign and it will say "Club Americano: We speak only English".

I think this poetic justice will serve him well.

19:44 / 05.06.06

I'd like to go over there, as an Englishman, and point out that he should really be specifying "American English". If he can get unreasonable, so can I.

20:11 / 05.06.06

And "No refunds" either. What a jerk.

Spyder Todd 2008

21:14 / 05.06.06

Plus, he has a big nose, and a creepy/stupid* smile. Jerk.

*=I can't tell which...