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Why Do Some People Wait Forever To Try To Join Barbelith? (an open ended question from Spyder)

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Spyder Todd 2008

17:29 / 17.05.06

Not a slight at the many people who have posted these comments but I quote:

Natty Ra Jah- i've been lurking on Barbelith since about last October, applied to join in about February, and got accepted last week.

This seems fairly normal to me. Some one discovers the site, reads it for a while, and decides they’d like to join the party. This I understand. The following have me confused a bit, though:

johnny enigma- Hi there Lithers this is my first ever post on Barbelith, which is actually quite something for me as I've been checking out this site for about two years before actually becoming a member.

MattShephard- Newly registered but I've been reading Barbelith, off and on, since it was an Invisibles annotation site.

Scarlett Harlot- I spent ages reading Barbelith a couple of years ago and after a link posted on another forum I found my way here again.

Now, maybe it’s just me, but this is… puzzling. It’s not that I expect people to just sign up for Barbelith as soon as they find it- I think I spent two or three months reading some things on the site before I joined, but I’m wondering why some people have spent so much time reading Barbelith (lets say, a year or more) without trying to participate.

Like I said, this isn’t something against any of these or other people- I’m actually kind of fond of one or two of them already. But I’m wondering why some people who seem to enjoy reading Barbelith enough to come back to it over and over again waited so long to become a member. And I know there’s a back log on new applicants, but it doesn’t go back that far. So to anyone who waited a long time to apply to the board, why didn’t you do it sooner? I’m just curious, is all. Was it something we said? Were you worried about not being allowed on the swing set? Because I probably would have let you have my swing. I was going to go down the slide a couple of times anyway.

Also, for anyone else standing out there in the rain, afraid to come inside to our party, you should totally apply for an application. Seriously. All the cool kids are doing it.

17:48 / 17.05.06

I suppose it relates to "why do people lurk?" Being a gobby so-and-so, I've never really understood that concept.

18:22 / 17.05.06

I'm annoyingly opiniated (see? I'm posting right now), but I did find Barbelith to be somewhat intimidating as far as invite policy, etcetera. It really has an air of quality and organization and that had me somewhat assume "they"'d find a good reason to keep my boring ass out of here.

18:31 / 17.05.06

maybe they're just not funny enough to post? (the lurkers I mean).

I joined as soon as I found the place, and luckily so, because the books were closed soon after.

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

18:35 / 17.05.06

And then there are those of us who've been for ages. When it was the Nexus.

Funny, I had no idea there was such a backlog. It makes Barbelith sound like a very exclusive club in South Beach or something.

18:37 / 17.05.06

for me there were difficulties and confusion regarding the amount of required web prescence/ the right kind of email address and so on.
I was also under the impression that the application process involved the writing of lengthy essays to prove your worth ( it actually took a friend to point out the fact that this was bollocks)
so basically it was laziness and procrastination with a touch of fear of rejection.
Quite suprised how easy it all was once i actually got off my arse though, as is the case with a good many things in life.

18:49 / 17.05.06

Shit, I lurked for about three days and then attacked the Headshop and Magick and spammed them for weeks. Couldn't resist.
So, are we like an exclusive resort now? I knew it would pay to get in on the ground floor, now I'm one of the cool kids! At last! I told them the day would come!

18:57 / 17.05.06

Yeah, I signed up very quickly as well, mainly because I was under the impression that George Morrison posted here regularly, and would now have to listen ... So I can't have read that much in the way of content. The whole application process took about five minutes, I think. Fortunately, though perhaps to the detriment of the board in general, they let on any old rubbish back in early '04 - I'm not sure if I'd have bothered to wait otherwise, and would now no doubt be making a fool of myself regularly on babyshambles.com, or related, instead.

It's actually quite a thought.

Jake, Colossus of Clout

19:10 / 17.05.06

I joined as soon as I found the place, and luckily so, because the books were closed soon after.

Me, too. We're the last dregs of that bygone era, Benny, before the Barb became the internet's answer to an exclusive resort. Elitist pigs.

Seriously, though, I might not have had the gumption to join if I had to go through a scary application process. I get The Fear applying for jobs, let alone joining the creme de la creme of internet message boards. It's akin to a lowly peasant petitioning Mount Olympus... What man dare walk amongst Gods?! Okay, maybe not so serious, but I really do think I'd have been a bit intimidated.

19:30 / 17.05.06

Perhaps another reason is that Barbelith contains alot of highly readable material, with some threads that can take a while to get through and, unlike many other message boards, participation is not 100% essential to enjoy the high standard of discourse here.

19:38 / 17.05.06

It took me a while to work up the nerve to apply for membership. It's not that Barbelith's particularly intimidating per se, it's just that I spent a long time reading the board and then finally thought "Well, now, I'd like to post'. Then I worked up the 'gumption'.

Different ways for different strays, though, of course.

19:40 / 17.05.06

I’ve been lurking since 1999! This must be a record. I’ve got a habit of posting stuff that is far too personal and then I feel embarrassed and go into hiding for a few months. I’m also not as eloquent / witty / clever as the average Barbeloid and feel a bit self-conscious about posting, I don’t think I’m adding much value. And it’s difficult to find the time…

But I visit Barbelith every day and I recently decided to contribute a bit more. It’s quite bizarre to know the regulars so well (and to have known them for so long) while they have no idea who you are.

20:08 / 17.05.06

Mice, I know exactly where you're coming from but be not afraid.
I also don't feel anywhere near as clever/witty/eloquent as most people here but I've found that it doesn't actually matter and you don't need to be. People will reply to you sometimes and not reply to you other times regardless of how well you write.
It's not made any easier (for me at least) that I don't know anyone else at all on the board IRL so I do sometimes feel a bit like an outsider and that I should tread carefully because I'm essentially talking to strangers. If you're like me, you spend a lot of time reading, composing a reply in your head, clicking reply and then thinking "nah, I'm not adding anything" and then clicking back on the browser again. Thing is, although you might feel that way, there is always a chance that you stumble upon the right combination of words that does spark a good thought in someone else. So just go for it! If nothing else, you'll feel like you're contributing which in itself will go towards your feeling more confident to post and then the whole thing snowballs until you become Stoatie (and look how popular he is!).
It feels like a big and scary place sometimes but it's not. It's just a very special place, so enjoy it whilst you can.

20:14 / 17.05.06

The whole thing snowballs until you become Stoatie (and look how popular he is!).

One day I wish to become like him, stoatheaded, in the transcontinuum.

Jake, Colossus of Clout

20:26 / 17.05.06

It's not made any easier (for me at least) that I don't know anyone else at all on the board IRL so I do sometimes feel a bit like an outsider and that I should tread carefully because I'm essentially talking to strangers.

Absolutely! The only 'lither in my area is Bryan, I think, and we still haven't met IRL. He seems like a busy guy, and by "my area" I mean he lives about eighty minutes away, so it's not like we frequent the same bar.

I'm a bit jealous of the London 'lithers, really. They get to get drunk together and go see shows and all that good stuff. It would be nice to have RL Barbelite friends, as you can expect a certain level of intelligence and social awareness from people here. It sucks to go to the bar and meet some nice people, watch the ballgame and drink with them, and then just when you're thinking "what a nice bunch! New friends are great!" it's revealed that they're neoconservatives or something, and you know you'll never be able to be more than casual drinking buddies because of ideological differences. Does that make sense?

20:29 / 17.05.06

Maybe the lurkers are just shy. Or antisocial, like me. They also serve who only stand and wait.

MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!

20:37 / 17.05.06

Speaking for myself, "off and on" was the key phrase. I didn't look at the site from about '04 to mid-'05 or something, then started reading up here regularly. Barbelith has always been impressive, but I didn't want to try to get involved until I was sure I'd have the time and energy to try to contribute intelligently to the community.

I've got a long-standing interest in a few of the spiritual/philosophical currents that run through here on a regular basis, but it's been sort of simmering for years and kind of developed into a more active interest recently; this seems like a good place to explore some of the things I'm interested in.

Plus, I finally got sick to fucking death of the left/right hatefest that has taken over Fark. You used to have decent conversations over there, but since the Bush regime began it's been an endless parade of confrontational baiting and hissy-fits between the Limbaugh Right and the Rall Left. That was really the final nail in the get-off-my-arse-and-apply-at-Barbelith coffin.

Tom Paine's Bones

20:57 / 17.05.06

I lurked for three years.

There isn't really a good explanation for why. I kept meaning to apply and not getting round to it. A lot.

Korso Jerusalem

21:11 / 17.05.06

I lurked because I wanted to learn.
Believe me, I was an ignorant twat two years ago. You wouldn't have wanted me to post.

21:13 / 17.05.06

trust me jake, you are better off alone.
these sketchy dudes are as unsafe as it gets- go to a barbemeet, anywhere in the world, and you stand a good chance of going home a kidney lighter and a communicable disease heavier.
i'd be dead if i'd only been born with two kidneys, dude.
if i go to london i'm stopping off at the organ dealer first.

Korso Jerusalem

21:24 / 17.05.06

To hell with that. I need a drinking crowd.

New Hampshire Barbelithers who have no reservations about buying whiskey for those below 21, come to my aid!

Jake, Colossus of Clout

21:30 / 17.05.06

i'd be dead if i'd only been born with two kidneys, dude.
if i go to london i'm stopping off at the organ dealer first.

But... but... they seem like such a nice bunch! Oh, cruel world!

MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!

21:36 / 17.05.06

New Hampshire Barbelithers who have no reservations about buying whiskey for those below 21, come to my aid!

Dude, you're all of a half-hour from the magical land of Quebec (where I am), and where the drinking age is 18. If you can make it up to Sherbrooke, I'll even slap a bottle of homebrewed mead your way.

Tryphena Absent

22:13 / 17.05.06

This seems like the right place to ask how you found the applications process when you got an email. Was it okay? Were there things we could have done that would have made it easier for you (apart from getting an email from us more quickly)?

Korso Jerusalem

22:15 / 17.05.06

Nah, I thought the whole process was very nice, when it finally happened.

Hi there Anna. If you remember, I'm your "experiment". Hee.

22:44 / 17.05.06

I completely agree, the application process was nice. I kinda expected the return email to have long words and challenging thoughts and a disection of my (hazy and half assed) ideology. However, Anna was sooo nice. Seriously, very friendly and wonderful and inviting. Anna was lovely.
Infact, does Barbelith have some kind of Loveliness award? I nominate Anna right now.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

22:51 / 17.05.06

Stop whining toksik, those implants were a bargain and you know it.

(I don't know, you try to do a guy a favour and he gets all humpty...)

Tom Paine's Bones

23:17 / 17.05.06

Yeah, the process itself was fine when it happened. Although I did already know somebody on the board, so I don't know how much that changes what's done.

Tryphena Absent

00:04 / 18.05.06

Phallicus, I knew it was you as soon as I read your Switchboard thread!

06:23 / 18.05.06

Could have applied. Not could of.

ORA ORA ORA ORAAAA!!

07:49 / 18.05.06

I lurked for a fair while, and then applied when I finally found something I thought I could contribute to.

Then I hassled Lulabelle far, far too much about getting in, which I regret, because it didn't change anything but probably made her life harder.

And then I got here and I'm still to scared to post much, damnit[1]. I also lost whatever thread it was I thought I could contribute to, or it moved on, or something, because so far I'm just faffing around being useless.

so: the application process was fraught with worry, for me, because I also thought I'd be challenged on my writing style and ideology and so on (I have no idea why), and then I was worried because I got no immediate response (like a jerk), and then I was worried because I'd sent Lula two emails, and then (possibly) three, and then I was in.

Lula was, however, quite lovely about the whole thing, so, thanks, Lula.

[1]
I am attempting to post more as an initiation of fire, or something, but there's also always the fear of being an idiot. I don't think that can be remedied other than posting enough to not be scared of it, and not being an idiot, though.

08:09 / 18.05.06

i thought the application process was very pleasant. Surely the mandatory IQ test is a bit over the top though?

Kali, Queen of Kitteh

14:32 / 18.05.06

I second the post about the envy of London Barbelites getting to go get drunk together.

Sadly, there's hardly anyone on here who is even remotely close to my neck of the woods.

MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!

15:43 / 18.05.06

Having to mail in urine and blood samples seemed a bit weird, as did that "informed consent form regarding genetic derivatives of materials provided," which to be honest I just signed without reading. Other than that, I found the applications process to be all right.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

16:14 / 18.05.06

*looks up from tiny MattShepherd doll*

What?

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