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Charlie Sheen's a Lunatic?

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01:46 / 23.04.06

I confess I follow celebrity gossip for fun, but this story goes beyond voyeuristic titillation into much scarier territory.

The Smoking Gun recently published Richards's legal declaration against Sheen. It starts out juicy and ends up horrifying. Among her allegations are drug abuse, gambling addiction, frequent use of prostitutes, questionable porn habits (she claims the men & women on the sites he liked looked underaged), some violent episodes, and in the end numerous threats to kill her which finally prompted her to file this document. Apparently before this she'd been persuaded not to file this kind of testimony by people who had a vested financial interest in Charlie's career. She also notes that since her last pregnancy he has become increasingly paranoid about vaccinations being poisonous, 911 being a conspiracy, stopping breastfeeding too early causing mental retardation, etc.

Here, Gawker points out that the day after the court date, People magazine had a launch for Sheen's new line of children's clothing, of all things.

Meanwhile, Yahoo's reporting is, to my mind, oddly sympathetic to Sheen. The release before this one made no mention of the drugs, prostitutes, or death threats, but only mentioned some "pushing" being involved.

I'm sure no one's surprised to learn that Charlie Sheen's a jackass, but who suspected he was this crazy? Um, allegedly crazy, I guess.

07:01 / 23.04.06

Well, stories about Charlie's life of uber-excess and very bad behaviour have been doing the rounds for years. Don Simpson's (the debauched, misgynistic producer of Beverly Hills Cop and Top Gun amongst other huge hits) biography includes a fair few tales of Sheen's naughtiness, as does Nick Broomfield's documentary about "Hollywood Madam" Heidi Fleiss.

00:30 / 24.04.06

Apparently before this she'd been persuaded not to file this kind of testimony by people who had a vested financial interest in Charlie's career

Charlie Sheen still has a career?

02:26 / 24.04.06

I know it's weird, but Two and a Half Men is apparently a very successful TV show. Lord knows why. Charlie Sheen is sort of on a career uptick.

Anyway, this is not entirely surprising, in that he's been crazy for quite a while. Poor Denise Richards and the kids.

02:31 / 24.04.06

Last I saw, Two And A Half Men was the number one rated comedy on American television. I've seen the show a few times, it's very funny and so is Sheen.

I'm not going to convict him on the basis of his ex-wife bringing up allegations but geez....that's some extreme stuff. You'd have to be pretty messed up to falsely accuse someone of those acts.

05:29 / 24.04.06

though to be fair, lots of 'legit' porn does look underaged. The nature of the industry tends to dictate that the 30 year old pornstars who look 15 will get more work than those who look, well, thirty - and they'll get photographed in schoolclothes and pigtails. And lots of people do think 911 was a conspiracy, etc etc... though i'm sure i'm not saying anything new here.

05:35 / 24.04.06

and prostitutes, guns and drugs - we are talking about an actor, right? This is par for the course.

Shiny: Well Over Thirty

06:15 / 24.04.06

Is it me or does this report make Sheen sound disturbingly like a classic Barbe-troll?

09:09 / 24.04.06

Those lucky Barbe Trolls, being married to Denise Richards.

13:47 / 24.04.06

IMDB's news for April 24th has a headline reading: "Sheen Hits Back at Richards on TV". Unintentional or intentional pun? You be the judge.

14:26 / 24.04.06

I think most of the fun in "2 and a Half Men" is that Cheen gets to play himself: an aging borderline alcoholic lazy mysoginistic womanizing "artist" of limited talent with serious mother issues and a rampant peter pan complex.

But what I'm really happy about is that Denise Richards is back on the dating pool. Not that I'd ever had a chance to even meet the woman face to face, but a guy can dream... about "wild things" ("you make my heart sing. You make everything...groovy" etc etc)

Denise Richards, Nicole Kidman, Angelina Jolie... every actress I have a crush on seems to be a divorcee from some really weird dude. I wonder if that means something.

16:56 / 24.04.06

though to be fair, lots of 'legit' porn does look underaged. [...] And lots of people do think 911 was a conspiracy, etc etc... though i'm sure i'm not saying anything new here.

On the porn thing, I agree stabbystabby, and that's why I phrased it the way I did. On the other hand, how do we really know they're not underaged (topic unto itself), and also I can understand why someone with small children of her own would be concerned about it.

On the 9/11 conspiracy, again I agree, that alone might just seem a little eccentric. There is also a bit of a trend to thinking vaccinations are risky... but Sheen threatened to kill her for giving their daughter routine vaccinations, and was so nutty about it that their pediatrician "fired" them.

It disturbs me that, if these allegations are true, Denise Richards was putting up with violence and domestic abuse just to placate everyone involved in Charlie Sheen's career (she was guilt-tripped about the number of people who would lose their jobs, etc.). In one instance she says Sheen pushed her down while she was holding one of the babies, and threatened to kill her and her parents in front of them. It's weird to me, since I imagine celebrities being sort of all-powerful, that this kind of thing (hidden domestic violence) could happen to someone so high-profile.

16:59 / 24.04.06

It disturbs me that, if these allegations are true, Denise Richards was putting up with violence and domestic abuse just to placate everyone involved in Charlie Sheen's career

that is disturbing.

ONLY NICE THINGS

17:06 / 24.04.06

:But what I'm really happy about is that Denise Richards is back on the dating pool. Not that I'd ever had a chance to even meet the woman face to face, but a guy can dream... about "wild things" ("you make my heart sing. You make everything...groovy" etc etc)

You know, DM, I am really, really trying to do that Velvetvandal thing where I think about the positive motivation behind every post everybody makes, but I'm a little bit stuck. A woman is talking about being physically attacked and threatened, and you and Mistoffeles (at less length) are talking about how nice it would be to whack Mr. Winky up her. I just don't get it. How does that connection get made?

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

17:24 / 24.04.06

So, Barbelith, just to recap... what have we learned in the last couple of days?

Shit all, 'twould seem.

17:26 / 24.04.06

I just think she's a beatiful woman, and I'm deeply atracted to her. That, in no way, means I don't respect her as a human being with feelings, or her troubles. In fact, I'm happy she's found the strenght to stand up for herself and get out of such a dispairing situation. And, in some parallel universe where I could get to know her personally, I like to think I'd never treat her like that.

But you are right in one point: It was a poor choice of venue for my admiration, this thread.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

17:32 / 24.04.06

Megsy, what THE FUCK?!

17:35 / 24.04.06

I apologise. Seriously.

19:08 / 24.04.06

Do you ever get tired of writing that, DM?

19:36 / 24.04.06

A bit, but at least I'm capable of recognizing my mistakes. Some call this "humility", but it's arrogance to say so.

22:48 / 24.04.06

CBS's The Insider (entertainment news show) had a lead story tonight offering Charlie Sheen's self-defense.

"I'm deeply saddened because this is clearly demonstrating a wanton and willful attempt at what I describe as a radical and transparent smear campaign and clearly a departure from sound, sane, responsible co-parenting."

Hardly surprising that they'd take his side, since Two and a Half Men is a CBS show... however, they took it a step beyond defending Sheen and launched an ugly smear campaign against Richards.

Right after Charlie's boo-hoo-wah-wah they ran a story about Denise having being spotted embracing the recently separated Richie Sambora, noting with an outraged tone, "They're both STILL MARRIED." They even had a commentator remark (and if not exact this quote is very close), "This calls into question the way her moral compass is oriented." Oh how I love to hear Pat O'Brien questioning a woman's moral compass!

Ugh. I feel terrible for her, especially if all of the allegations are true. Though I'm probably taking all of this a bit too much to heart, I actually just emailed CBS to complain about their coverage.

06:19 / 25.04.06

Isn't there some rule about not editorialising on the news? Especially if it makes you sound like Bishop Puritan McFuck?

I think it becomes clear to us now that the 'half' in Two and a Half Men actually refers to Sheen.

*

06:50 / 25.04.06

Isn't there some rule about not editorialising on the news? Especially if it makes you sound like Bishop Puritan McFuck?

There was at one time— it was in Ye Olde Stile Guide of Responsibile Heralding, fifteenth edition, as compiled by Tom Paine (ironically enough), but it was eliminated in the sixteenth edition by then-publisher Bishop Puritan McFuck. Periodically groups like FAIR (Fuck All Ignorant Reporters) have advocated for its re-establishment, but the head of the FEC, Commissioner Puritan McFuck the 23rd, has consistently shown that the rule is "an unnecessary and insulting restriction on freedom of the press." It's now considered mildly seditious to even bring it up, since President Puritan McFuck the 22nd was canonized and signed into law the doctrine of presidential infallibility ex Niveus Domus.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

07:18 / 25.04.06

GASP!! Embracing, you say? And her lawful wedded husband not even cold in his restraining order!

Cakefuckers.

07:48 / 25.04.06

Am I missing something Ibis? You don't seem to have any trouble believing the allegations against Sheen but you dismiss every word when the accusations go the other way. When Sheen calls Richards's allegations a smear campaign your response is to call his comments a smear campaign. This is celebrity gossip for fuck's sake. How do you know which bits are true and which aren't?

I don't really think it's a good idea to be taking sides in celebrity gossip when you don't know how much is true on either side.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

08:24 / 25.04.06

I dunno, man--the two stories seem a bit different to me. One is about accusations--unproven, but made under oath and presumably substantiated somehow--of violence, drug abuse, ect. The other is about two people who are married to other people, kissing. Maybe.

Yeah, it's still celeb gossip, but there's something interesting in the way that the whole thing is being handled.

ONLY NICE THINGS

08:40 / 25.04.06

You know, the timing of this thread literally could not be better.

08:46 / 25.04.06

The quote in Ibis's link above ("I'm deeply saddened because this is clearly demonstrating a wanton and willful attempt at what I describe as a radical and transparent smear campaign and clearly a departure from sound, sane, responsible co-parenting.") is a direct quote from Sheen being interviewed on that CBS show. He may well be lying out of his arse, but who knows?

When allegations start flying in the middle of a celebrity divorce I think it's wise to keep clear. Whether or not media pundits want to weigh in on the morals of the couple doesn't alter the truth or otherwise of either Richards's or Sheens's claims.

I also find Ibis's comment a bit odd: I feel terrible for her, especially if all of the allegations are true. So if the allegations are untrue you still feel sorry for her? I can see the same unneccessary moralising in this thread as Ibis is complaining about elsewhere, and to be honest I can't really believe we're discussing it.

08:57 / 25.04.06

Is this the ShadowSax post mortem thread?

ONLY NICE THINGS

09:14 / 25.04.06

Could be!

I feel terrible for her, especially if all of the allegations are true. So if the allegations are untrue you still feel sorry for her?

Alternatively, if some of the allegations are true, which presumably would still occasion some sympathy.

09:28 / 25.04.06

I'm a little uncomfortable with your implications Haus and Smoothly.

Has it come to the point where we need to analyse celebrity gossip to find new moral outrages? Do I need to add my voice to the anti-Sheen chorus to prove that I'm not Shadowsax? Jesus.

Why is there even a thread on Barbelith about this rubbish?

ONLY NICE THINGS

09:32 / 25.04.06

Well, because this is the Conversation, really. People stick in whatever they want. And no, you don't have to do anything to prove that you're not Shadowsax, but, honestly, if we're talking about spousal abuse you do need to be careful of how you tread, whether or not you think this alleged spousal abuse is mere Hollywod tittle-tattle and not worthy of record.

Scrambled Password Bogus Email

09:34 / 25.04.06

Didn't Tom already have to wash the board to avoid a defamation suit? Threads like this can't help much.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

09:39 / 25.04.06

Uh, I don't think it's defamation if you're just repeating/discussing something that's all over the 'news' (OK, gossip) sites already.

09:55 / 25.04.06

For me it’s more the big dollop of what my winky thinky, of-course-I-respect-women-I-want-to-shower-their-beautiful-bodies-with-gifts-and-spunk. Not so much your line, Loomis, more the huge careening mess of divergent conversational trajectories this thread has already managed to aggregate.

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