So the nice dads are just trying to show their daughters the unacceptability of pre-marital sex and homosexuality, is that it?
RE: pre-marital sex
Yes, that's exactly the case. Just like my parents tried to show me the unacceptability of sloth and greed. Telling your kid that pre-marital sex is wrong may be stupid but I don't think it's (necessarily) harmful and I don't think it is wrong.
RE: homosexuality
First of all, the article didn't bring the concept up. Secondly, aside from Mistoffelees' passing mention, none of the posts previous to yours mentioned it. For the most part, the negative reaction was directed solely towards the idea that having your kids sign a card not to have sex before marriage is perverted, incestuous, coerced, and to be blunt, fucked up. I will agree that it is a dumb idea but until a preponderance of evidence is presented otherwise, I choose to believe it's done on the basis of religious belief that pre-marital sex is wrong. Parents have been telling kids not to have sex, not to do drugs, not to eat dessert before dinner for ages. This is a bit extreme but nefarious? I don't buy it until I see it.
HOWEVER. Now that you've mentioned it, I will have to think about the linkage to homosexuality. You're right in that most of these people probably think homosexuality is a sin. But again, I think of my parents. My parents are pro-abstinence and if I were gay, I think they'd still love me. Check that- I know they would. So to automatically assume that these dads would never accept a gay daughter presumes, in my mind, a smidgen too much. Of course, my parents wouldn't have bothered making me sign a damn card...you've given me food for thought.
I really, really don't want to call you an apologist for what seems to me to be a fairly disturbing practice, but I'm not quite sure how else to read that, Slim...
That's great because I really, really don't want to be called one. Let me make it clear- I think that this practice is stupid. My reaction was more towards how Barbelith posters responded, which was to immediately cast it in far too unsavory a light. I don't like the idea that it may seem like I'm defending these guys. But I like even less the idea of not calling out crap (such as changing the dynamic to male-female instead of father-daughter, as wonderstarr already pointed out) when I think I see it.
I think it's time to note that in what seems a lifetime ago, I signed a card pledging not to have sex until marriage. In case you were wondering, this did not take and I am sexually active. Thank GOD. I suppose what to me doesn't seem like an unusual occurrance may come as a shock to some posters who've never been around this kind of atmosphere. To clue you guys in, getting teens (and kids) to sign abstinence cards it is not uncommon at large Christian events.
How do you get kids to stick to abstaining from sex? You mark the occasion where they decided to abstain and make a a big deal out of it. That is, you throw a party. The dance thing is a new one to me, though. I think bringing a kid that's 4 is a dumb idea because clearly, they aren't going to understand it. I view it as a waste of time more than a harmful practice.
Am I overreacting here, or does the idea of this sort of ownership ritual squick others as much as it does me?
I wouldn't go so far as to say that you're overreacting. I certainly think that you're mischaracterizing it, though. If it's ownership, it's the same type of ownership that every responsible parent exercises over their child.
To Sum Up: I do not find the practice of having your kid sign an abstinence card to be necessarily immoral. I do allow for the possibility that these dads may also hold beliefs that are unsavory and may make me want to change my opinion on what they are doing. And I have spent way too much time arguing about a practice that is completely ridiculous  |
