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PAIN (pics)

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STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

17:05 / 10.04.06

Legba- every time I open this thread I get this same feeling, over and over and stronger and stronger. I know CMB's touched on it, but here goes-

I know I've never met them, and I know they're your mates and all, but given the little you've given us to go on, I don't think I like your mates very much. Soz.

17:28 / 10.04.06

Legba said: it's a big fucking dinosaur with pretty much zero fore-arms, but that's ok, it doesn't need to masturbate, because it KILLS!

Maybe if he could there'd be less tearfully done killing, though.

18:03 / 10.04.06

Aw poor Carnotaurus!
Here are some fluffy tasty kittens for you to munch and crunch on

so you can smile

AGAIN

20:50 / 10.04.06

I thought we have decided that PAIN DOES NOT EXIST!!! Well, maybe I decided and was ignored, but who cares?

Anyway, I'm glad that this aching feelings in my arms and shoulders due to last sunday's kung fu training (when my sifu has decided to test my endurance and will by putting me to fight every freaking one of the other students until I quit - the tall ones, the fast ones, the angry ones, the newbies, the old-timers, the boys, the girls, and then everybody all over again. Of course I didn't quit until I was drowning in my onw sweat and shortness of breath, for my pride is going to kill me someday) are NOT REAL AT ALL. DO YOU HEAR ME, BODY? STOP HURTING, NOW!!!!

All Acting Regiment

21:07 / 10.04.06

I know I've never met them, and I know they're your mates and all, but given the little you've given us to go on, I don't think I like your mates very much. Soz.

Thing is, they were girls, so I wasn't complaining.

Id, that's a great Carnotaurus and thanks for providing one.

Mistofelees: it would be good if you could melt down, oh, I dunno, SEVERAL DOZEN of those SMALL DEFENCELESS CREATURES into a sort of MORTAL SOUP. Because catching and eating all of them individually would be A GREAT ANNOYANCE.

All Acting Regiment

21:27 / 10.04.06

And while we're on the subject, you probably shouldn't go swimming in the Kansas Inland Sea, because one of these might be there and by comparison make you like, of sand, a GRAIN:

21:51 / 10.04.06

you guys, i'm SLAIN

but i hope to ATTAIN wisdom on this board, so

i'll keep reading hoping for a GRAIN of truth,

anywhere.

fuck it, this too hard to SUSTAIN
for any period of time without requiring
a CRANE to pick me up AGAIN

so i shall curb my DISDAIN at the thread and
merely ABSTAIN...

[there, that didn't hurt much?]

22:43 / 10.04.06

Mistofelees: it would be good if you could melt down, oh, I dunno, SEVERAL DOZEN of those SMALL DEFENCELESS CREATURES into a sort of MORTAL SOUP. Because catching and eating all of them individually would be A GREAT ANNOYANCE.

Why didn´t you say so earlier? Puppies are much better for that than kittens, which can cause digestive problems.

23:04 / 10.04.06

Ok, here's a painful experience.

One upon a time, me a girl were on rough sex, big time. One day, she was on top of me, her legs around my waste, me half seated, holding her back, while she jumped (and I mean jump) up and down my crotch.

Then we had the wonderful idea if doing the same thing, except doing a little anal intercourse (yeah, we'd go to jail in Oklahoma).

Do you know that little strip of skin that binds the foreskin to the very tip of one's penis? Yeah, well, it burst and shredded in mid-sex

Blood all over the place, gushing from my already sored little-boy like an artery has being cut. Stop everything, wash it, put ice in it, give woman her climax through old-fashioned, calm and peaceful oral-sex, go home, more ice, more cleaning, feel like a goddamn 13-year old virgin girl for a couple of days. Some scary shit.

I had to go to surgery to fix the damage. At the time of the "accident", it didn't hurt so much. But, for the next few months after my surgery it always hurted like hell to have sex. The doctor said the scar tissue needed to be streched a little before my (sorry for the joke, all transgendered people) "post-op genitalia" could heal back to its former self (or almost).

The weirdest part is, I kinda miss those painful months. Sex was never so intense, albeit not so careful also.

Try to top that story, folks...

23:12 / 10.04.06

That does sound painful DM. I am glad not to 'top' it.

23:13 / 10.04.06

Shit, bugger. I really didn't mean that like it reads.

08:16 / 11.04.06

If you're an Aussie, the pain of losing to us poms might be symbolised by SHANE!

Not so bad as the fact that we are currently losing to Bangladesh

AGAIN.

julius has no imagination

14:56 / 11.04.06

Not as exciting as DM's, but interesting nonetheless...

I was out walking with some friends, going from Barnstaple to Bideford for those who know their way around Devon. Just before we got to Bideford, we found the footpath was closed and diverted along a busy road. It was dark by this point. No choice, so we walked along the road, or next to it whenever possible. At one point, there was a sort of grassy verge, about a metre high, and we decided to walk on top of that for the stretch it covered. While scrambling up onto it, I twisted my knee or something, resulting in incredible, excruciating pain. I rolled down into the road, recovered a little, and, leaning against the verge, started to inch towards the driveway that was about a couple of metres away, to get off the road. While doing so, I blacked out from the pain for about 30 seconds. By the time I came to, my two companions were getting a *bit* concerned... I got safely away from the road, but I was still in massive pain and feeling rather faint and ill, so they decided to call an ambulance.

Ambulance came, drove me to Barnstaple hospital. There, I was put in a wheelchair and had to wait for a while (as, clearly, I wasn't dropping dead anytime soon). A nurse came to check what was wrong, by which time it had pretty much stopped hurting. I explained (which she wouldn't believe because I'd just bent that knee while taking off my trousers), so she checked the knee more thoroughly and said "It's fine. Bugger off." (not quite in those words, but close). We left, walked a mile to the station and got the train back home. The end.

OK, so the knee ached a bit, on and off, for the next week or so, but that's all. This happened in mid-December, and I'm not even sure now whether it was the left or the right knee. But when it happened, the pain really was excruciating.

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

16:22 / 11.04.06

I'm trying to think of my post painful experience. Can't think of many.

Knew a guy at work, though, who was working in the kitchen with his girlfriend at the restaraunt. Well, she turned and her apron caught on fire. So what does Conner do? Does he throw water on her? Stop drop and roll?

Crazy bastard beats the fire out with his bare hands. IIRC he got some interesting 2nd degree burns, and the general respect of the entire kitchen staff. As I recall, his brother a few years earlier had a bowl of spinach dip explode on him when he took it out of the microwave, then proceeded to work another hour or two before going to the hospital. That spinach dip is like fricking napalm. It should be banned by the Geneva Convention.

19:07 / 07.06.07

I am the threadromancer! Arise, etc. I was going to start a topic about pain, but this one was here, so huzzah.

I was at work today, in the searing heat, with no ventilation, no air-conditioning and very smelly people and a sliced open finger. I figured it was the most pain I'd ever been in, but then one particularly unhappy memory came flooding back.

I'd been climbing Croagh Patrick on a school trip about five years ago.

and it gets fairly steep near the top. Being a little on the unfit side, I'd grown exhausted on the way to the top. It was standard achey pain, perfectly acceptable. Being oh-so clever, I figured I'd slide down a little of the ways. Admittedly, it didn't look as rocky as that picture makes it look. Anyway, there I was, sliding down the mountain, laughing at the foolish bipeds and their walking. Then, a rock, pyramid like and very, very sharp somehow made its way up my anus and rectum.

After losing my anal virginity to the rock and now actively bleeding from my bottom, the worst thing was having the principal offer to dab some sort of alcohol based disinfectant upon my anus. The rest of the evening is a blur, but I remember rocking back and forth in my bed that night, promising to myself to never slide down a mountain again.

The worst thing was tearing a pair of really nice jeans, I suppose.

19:11 / 07.06.07

*snorts insensitively at the pain of others*

Tell us, Llamas, was it a good pain?

19:14 / 07.06.07

No. Basalt is not a tender lover.

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