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Films that you used to think were good when you were young and stupid but which, with the benefit of hindsight, really suck

 
  

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eddie thirteen
21:42 / 07.04.06
I blame Kevin Smith for everything. Everything.

I also think Clerks is the only one that's still funny. Mallrats has its moments, but in retrospect I think that has way less to do with Smith than Jason Lee. Chasing Amy worked for me ten years ago, and now seems unwatchably cheesy and melodramatic. Dogma I always hated; I'm pretty sure that was the moment when I realized Kevin Smith kinda sucked. It's a movie that does nothing right: it's a comedy about religion that's neither funny nor meaningful; it's a comedy that features Chris Rock and George Carlin and doesn't allow either of them to deviate from the (bad) script (!), thereby completely wasting their talents; it's a movie that cost forty million dollars and looks like it was made for twenty bucks; it's a movie where Salma Hayek plays a stripper and the only nudity in the entire film is a wince-inducing shot of Chris Rock's naked ass. Which, really, I don't think anyone wanted to see. Especially as he was doing his impression of a beached whale at the time. Seriously, the only instance of less flattering nudity I think I've ever witnessed in film was that of Dennis Franz's ass in "NYPD Blue." Then again, at least we didn't have to look at Kevin Smith's.

I think Kevin Smith made a movie (Gigli, right?)after Dogma, but...yeah, who cares.

My vote in this category is Oliver Stone's Natural Born Killers, which rocked my world when I was about 20. As with most of the Kevin Smith catalog, this film now seems so fucking horrible I can't believe I ever even sat through it. The cheese factor is astonishing.
 
 
This Sunday
00:21 / 08.04.06
Not to be an utter ass about it, but does 'seminal' mean 'derivative' now? 'Bladerunner' falls apart as an homage to noir, because it isn't atmospheric, but pedantic and cheesy; parody and not even good parody. It fails as an adaptation, as, frankly, the book is multitudes superior at both tragedy and comedy, and in the scenes of sheep, alone, outdoes the film. As a work of ideas, it is insulting (the roboracism voice over from early on, the negotiating of the dual plots together, and the removal of any concern on things that make androids interesting, like, oh, the nature of emotion, posthuman capacities in the physical and psychological realm), and it manages to entirely remove religion, community, and a concern for life from a work coming from something where those are paramount.

It's badly shot and poorly directed.

Some of the bits with Rutger Hauer are quite nice, however, including the 'father' scene and the confrontational hunt at the end. And I like the unicorn.

If you don't want to make either 'Bladerunner' or 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep' into a film, then don't. Do not take elements of one, the title of the other, and try to do a 'Chinatown' riff with some smokey towers and robots. At least, don't expect everyone to think you're being challenging and intellectual by doing so. These things ought to be laws, or at least, common sense.

There's a bit in an essay where Phil Dick casts his version, that clearly, even now, explicates much of what I don't enjoy about it. Didn't like it when I saw it for the first time, at nine, and I don't like it now, five or so alternate versions later.

Alternatively: Why do those of you who like it, like it?
 
 
matthew.
03:25 / 08.04.06
OMG. That's exactly what I was trying to say about Blade Runner. Thank you.
 
 
Shrug
17:05 / 08.04.06
I don't know if Bladerunner is parody, more pastiche. From, at least, it's post-modernist take on the city: Mayan/Japanese/American living completely homogenised architecturally into a very noir-esque dank urban milieu.
Visually, I still think of it as stunning.
 
 
CameronStewart
18:24 / 08.04.06
"If you don't want to make either 'Bladerunner' or 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep' into a film, then don't. Do not take elements of one, the title of the other, and try to do a 'Chinatown' riff with some smokey towers and robots."

Eh? I thought Blade Runner was an original title - it's taken from another story?
 
 
CameronStewart
18:26 / 08.04.06
Never mind, I googled it.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
19:37 / 08.04.06
Not to be an utter ass about it, but does 'seminal' mean 'derivative' now? 'Bladerunner' falls apart as an homage to noir, because it isn't atmospheric, but pedantic and cheesy;

Firstly, you let down your argument by never getting the title right.

Blade Runner is derivative of certain films that were released before it (eg Mildred Pierce) but I think it could be called seminal in terms of certain films that were released after it (eg Dark City).

Saying "it isn't atmospheric but pedantic and cheesy" doesn't convince me. Those things cannot be facts.

I think it's atmospheric in that it creates, for me, a convincing, detailed, deep fictional world. I feel it sets up an immersive environment that gives the impression of being fully worked-out.

I don't know what you mean by pedantic and cheesy with regard to this film so I can't really discuss that.

I suppose there are some "cheesy" aspects in that Vangelis' early-80s music might now sound dated, and perhaps some of the "futuristic" fashion is indebted to late-70s or early-80s punk/new wave styling, but any older film risks looking cheesy in that respect. Metropolis looks pretty cheesy I suppose in terms of the performance style and the special effects, but I consider it a great film.

Actually, I've done a lot more work to help your argument there than you did for yourself. But if you explain what you meant, I'm happy to talk about it with you.



parody and not even good parody.


It's not meant to be parody, so if it fails as parody, that's irrelevant I think. Double Indemnity also fails as parody.


It fails as an adaptation, as, frankly, the book is multitudes superior at both tragedy and comedy, and in the scenes of sheep, alone, outdoes the film.

I don't think a film should be judged merely in terms of how well it adapts a book, especially as Blade Runner is a pretty loose adaptation of DADoES. I feel the film works on its own terms. The novel includes other layers and dimensions, but perhaps trying to squeeze them in would have made for a worse film.



As a work of ideas, it is insulting (the roboracism voice over from early on,


You are referring I suppose (see how I have to do the work for you, because you're being lazy) to Deckard saying that Bryant's use of "skinjobs" is equivalent to an older use of "n*ggers".

Firstly, I don't see why you say that's insulting. Maybe you mean it's too crass an explanation, and makes the racial parallels too obvious for the viewer. (Again... who knows what you mean, because you choose not to explain.)

Well, that would be one of the reasons they ditched the v/o for the Director's Cut. In fact you're judging both the Director's Cut and the original version here, as if they were the same film - you refer to the unicorn dream below, when that wasn't in the original.


the negotiating of the dual plots together,


Not sure what you mean here, and why "negotiating of plots" makes a film bad.

and the removal of any concern on things that make androids interesting, like, oh, the nature of emotion, posthuman capacities in the physical and psychological realm),

I don't really know how much you're asking for, but Blade Runner does explore things that make "androids" (replicants, in the film - androids are in the novel, which I suggested is a very different text and should be treated separately. Sorry to be "pedantic", hope I'm not "cheesy") interesting.

eg. Deckard, as a supposed human, is colder (his nickname's "sushi") and less empathetic than most of the replicants. His romance scene with Rachel is a near-rape. Batty, on the other hand, shows tenderness and loyalty to his fellow replicants.

Posthuman capacities? What, like Zhora sussing Deckard's disguise and almost snapping his neck, or Pris sitting immobile as a doll, then turning lethal somersaults down a corridor? Like the way replicants can beat a Grand Master at chess and dip their hands into boiling water? What are you actually asking for?

Did you, out of interest, think any adaptation of a Philip K Dick fiction was at all satisfactory? Screamers, Minority Report, Total Recall? Because none of them are very similar to the original either, and most of them in my opinion are less complex and intelligent than Blade Runner.


and it manages to entirely remove religion, community, and a concern for life from a work coming from something where those are paramount.


It does not entirely remove religion at all. There are a number of references to religion: Batty's nail through the hand, Tyrell noting the "Prodigal Son", Tyrell's papal bed, the paraphrase from Blake, "fiery the angels fell".

I would say there would be a lot to discuss about community, too: the replicant community, the Animoid Row salespeople, the "little people" Bryant distinguishes from police (and the police, in turn), the social divide between street and ziggurat, the ethnic groupings in 2019 LA.

A "concern for life" is arguably exactly why Batty saves Deckard in one of the film's most important moments.

But again, you haven't spelled out what you mean and I, perhaps foolishly, have gone to town in finding you counter-examples when you really don't seem to have made much effort with your case.

Once more you seem to be saying things are missing from the film that you identified in the novel. I would say (a) you haven't looked at the film closely, from what you write here and (b) a film is not to be judged solely on its relationship to a novel.


It's badly shot and poorly directed.


I don't know what you mean by these vast generalisations so I'm not going to spend ages trying to think of examples of good shots and good direction in this film.


If you don't want to make either 'Bladerunner' or 'Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep' into a film, then don't. Do not take elements of one, the title of the other,

I don't know what you mean, and I'm not sure if what you're saying means anything.

Bladerunner is a cinema treatment by Wm Burroughs and a novel by Alan E. Nourse. I don't think either of them have anything but the title in common with the film Blade Runner.
 
 
This Sunday
21:09 / 08.04.06
Lousy miserable title rassafrassin... alright, I admit, I screwed up with the title, but in order to be more specific (and get some spellings and scenes) right, I'd have to watch it again. And the question is, with all the really good stuff that's out there: is it worth a rewatch? Hell, I had to rewatch 'Showgirls' to be sure on that one, but that was only the second (and a half) time I'd ever watched it, whereas 'Blade Runner' I've seen at least six times and it's never caught.

To clarify on the accusation of parody, I simply mean that it seems rather exaggerated, rather than pastiche or homage, which life elements, the tropes are ballooned or used to point out their edges.

I actually like the score. The music still stands up as passable.

The nigger/skinjob thing is something easily gleaned from the film, and I felt that someone thought it necessary to spell out in a quick couple lines, was insulting to (almost) the entire audience.

As an adaptation: Well, it is, after a fashion, supposed to be one, as much, if not more than, the recent 'I, Robot' or the 'Naked Lunch' of not so long ago. Except it was slightly superior to one of those, and I can still watch Cronenberg's.

Ah, hell, I will rent it and watch it again. But I'm not doing this with 'Extreme Ops' or 'Titanic'.
 
 
matthew.
23:28 / 08.04.06
Blade Runner is derivative of certain films that were released before it (eg Mildred Pierce) but I think it could be called seminal in terms of certain films that were released after it (eg Dark City).

Putting aside my opinions on the film, I don't think Mildred Pierce is a very good comparison. Not only does the film version disregard the opera plot, it emphasizes a silly murder which does not take place in the novel whatsoever. Mildred Pierce is about the elusive American dream and the cost of achieving it. The novel is not a thriller and the film is not an effective one, either.

A better comparison would be (pardon the obvious) The Maltese Falcon. With Blade Runner, at least there is a question about the nature of the pursuit, of the mission, of life. It's an existential pondering. The Maltese Falcon attempts to question why people seek something they don't necessarily need, or why they would kill for something with an ambiguous value.

Otherwise, I agree with your point. Putting aside my opinion, I still cannot ignore the influence on and from Blade Runner.
 
 
This Sunday
00:22 / 09.04.06
'The Maltese Falcon' stomps all over 'Blade Runner', though, by being stylish and intelligent and - I'm just, perhaps irrationally, far more in favor of it and find it substantially more effective.

I don't deny that 'Blade Runner' drew from a big pot of influences, and I admit that it has been, in its turn, an influence on other things, but I don't know that it was in any way as good/efficient as it could have been or is treated as, and it's not the hotbed of potent and wonderful ideas and deep thoughts that carry on elsewhere in other films and narratives. Stylistically, the film is unappealing to me, through direction, much of the pacing, the lighting, and the set design. And as homage or pastiche, as a noir product, it simply falls apart for me.

Jumping straight from 'The Maltese Falcon' (either of the early version) to 'Angel Heart' doesn't present the same sort of disconnect, stylistically, as from 'The Maltese Falcon' to 'Blade Runner'.

And, nowadays, my take on any of Ridley Scott's work is, unfortunately, tainted by some of the stupid things I've heard tell of, regarding comments of his on the sets of various films, including the (the following are horribly paraphrased) 'nobody actually believed in the Roman Gods, so let's make them protochristians' from 'Gladiator' and 'Now take off your shirt' with 'Thelma & Louise'. Actually, screenwriter horror stories alone, have crippled my ability to ever look innocently on his films again.

But I will give it a shot. And by not enjoying it, I want to make it clear, I am not saying it has no influences or has not had any kind of social impact or influenced other works. I just don't find its influence to be a particularly good or useful one, mostly.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
08:19 / 09.04.06
To clarify on the accusation of parody, I simply mean that it seems rather exaggerated, rather than pastiche or homage, which life elements, the tropes are ballooned or used to point out their edges.


I appreciate what you mean now, but I can't really see it in Blade Runner. Maybe the trope of hard-boiled trenchcoated detective, especially with cynical voice-over, would be an example; but I think the voice-over is generally considered to have been an artistic mistake by fans and by those involved in the film's production.

Rachel certainly isn't a parody of the femme fatale, as could have been the case.

The nigger/skinjob thing is something easily gleaned from the film, and I felt that someone thought it necessary to spell out in a quick couple lines, was insulting to (almost) the entire audience

True, I agree and I think a lot of others would agree; and the Director's Cut rightly (I believe) eliminates this.

Putting aside my opinions on the film, I don't think Mildred Pierce is a very good comparison.

I could have said Maltese Falcon, but I was using Mildred Pierce in quite superficial style terms, because Rachel's costume and hair are very obviously (it seems to me, comparing stills from the two) based on those of J. Crawford in that film.

Stylistically, the film is unappealing to me, through direction, much of the pacing, the lighting, and the set design

That surprises me, but I can't dispute your individual taste. I believe an enormous emount of consideration, intelligence and skill went into the lighting and set design, but if the end result still isn't your thing, fair enough.

And as homage or pastiche, as a noir product, it simply falls apart for me.

I don't think it works that well as noir, actually. I think it has tropes of noir, as we've agreed: the central character is pretty similar to the noir detective, it's set in LA, it does have two predatory, deadly, sexy female characters ("talk about beauty and the beast... she's both") and it's a crime/detective story. But it's not really much of a detective story, and it's not much of a romance. I would consider it more a science-fiction thriller in which ideas and appearance become more important than plot and action, by the end.

What do you think, does BR deserve a new thread with our comments heading up further discussion? We seem to be taking this one off-topic a little.
 
 
toppage
12:16 / 09.04.06
Chasing Amy is worth watching just to see Ben Affleck before he got veneers. He had itty-bitty baby teeth and yards of gums, similar to Greg Rusedski.

My favourite film for several years was Drop Dead Fred, starring that versatile comic genius Rik Mayall. I was only 11, but I adored Drop Dead Fred, had the poster on my wall and thought Rik was the 'best actor ever'.

It also featured Phoebe Cates, who my brother loved for very different reasons following her naked appearance in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. For this reason he tolerated me watching Drop Dead Fred on a regular basis for around a year.

I watched it again recently, and dear god, what was I thinking. A truly dreadful film that is in no way funny at any point. Probably as funny as going to see a Mayall/Edmondson Bottom live show.
 
 
penitentvandal
16:27 / 12.04.06
I still maintain that Easy Rider does set out to foist its characters on us as heroic figures: all those shots of Fonda looking off into the distance like some Greek god, Hopper riding his bike courageously towards the rednecks at the end, the fact that every other character has their situation summed up by some gnomic quote from the sage Fonda...it just bugs me, seeing such self-absorbed idiots presented as heroes.

But others may be able to tolerate the movie and see it as complex and ambivalent if they want to. I used to uncritically love The Whicker Man, and I still enjoy watching it now, despite the fact I now appreciate that, as much of a joyless prick as Ee-wah Woo-wah's character is, Christopher Lee and the Islanders are still a bunch of murderers.
 
 
Mike Modular
17:00 / 12.04.06
I used to uncritically love The Whicker Man



Who could possibly resist?
 
 
Smoothly
21:40 / 12.04.06
velvetvandal - I think your first post gives the lie to this idea that Billy and Wyatt are 'presented as heroes'. It seems plain to me that they're not, for the reasons you give. As Wyatt says, they 'blew it'. But, yeah, who am I to say you misunderstood it. I guess if you'll allow me to see it as complex and ambivalent if I want to, you should be allowed to see it as a failed attempt to cast Billy and Wyatt's trip as unambiguously heroic.

In which case, a couple failures you neglected to mention:

If they're such peace 'n' love paragons, how come they're trafficking cocaine rather than marijuana or LSD or something?? I mean, doesn't coke represent the antithesis and corruption of the hippie ideal?? Eh? What's all that about? And half the time it's as if all Billy cares about is the money!!1!
And the rancher who fixes Wyatt's bike, who Wyatt seems to respect and admire more than anyone else. He's a God fearin' *square* for Chrissake!
 
 
penitentvandal
12:55 / 13.04.06
You know, it occurs to me that that initial post isn't actually even about disliking Easy Rider, the film: it's about disliking Wyatt and Billy as characters, because they're pricks. I mean, I'm willing to concede that some of the editing and cinematography in the film are quite advanced, for their time. It's just that I can't stand the protagonists.

Oddly enough, I don't have this problem with other films. David Thewlis in Naked, for example - I find him an irritating twat, well-educated and intelligent but also just deliberately irritating to people for the sake of it. And yet I like the film.
 
 
Brigade du jour
13:34 / 13.04.06
I watched it again recently, and dear god, what was I thinking. A truly dreadful film that is in no way funny at any point. Probably as funny as going to see a Mayall/Edmondson Bottom live show.

Drop Dead Fred is considerably less funny, actually.

I would nominate Police Academy, as it used to represent some kind of cinema rite of passage for me in my early teens, from which I 'graduated' (as it were) on to 'proper movies' (as it were). The trouble is, I watched Police Academy again recently and it ain't all that bad. I mean, it's not good either, but it's not as bad as, say, Porky's.

To mess with the debate a wee bit - how does everyone think that nostalgia might enter into it, if at all? For example, I love watching Flash Gordon and Transformers: The Movie now, as a grown man (who should probably know better, etc. etc.), and I'm quite aware that 90% or more of my enjoyment of them arises not from some ironic pose, or from some subtle humour intended to keep the adults amused while the kids watch for the lasers and stuff, but from a genuine child-like glee. In other words, I'm actually struggling to think of a film I once loved and now despise, because my memory of such films puts on them a sheen that's tough to shift.

Sorry if this is rotty of me, by the way - I just didn't think it was a big enough question to warrant another thread!
 
 
penitentvandal
17:55 / 13.04.06
I dunno, I think Flash Gordon is great.

DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
20:22 / 13.04.06
VV- I think you'll find it's "Dave!"

That's what all the Hawkmen are called, you know.
 
 
This Sunday
20:48 / 13.04.06
And 'Transformers' had big robots and Orson Welles - a man who could make a commercial for frozen peas watchable. There's an unspoken rule that combining Welles and robots (and then turning out an Orson -mecha- Welles toy) is enough to rescue any film from even the most severe suck factor.

This could have saved 'Blade Runner' for me.
 
 
Madman in the ruins.
09:15 / 24.06.06
HIGHLANDER

never mind 2,3,4 or the TV series.
The Original Film.
I watched it on video in the late 80's and early 90's over and over agian. The a few months ago a broadsheet newspaprt was giving away the DVD.
So I sat and watched it with my girlfreind (who had never seen it before)I was sorely dissapointed. Not by the 80's special effects which my brain could edit arould. But the really weak story. Why does Brenda fall for Connor? Why? It defies all sense. And Shoorn Connery in his Mentor role. makes you think "why is Sir Shoorn so rated as a actor?"
When the film was over, I felt embarased about my raving about it to her.

Truly I am growing up
 
  

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