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Forgive me if this isn't a very structured post. I feel Barbelith is usually sensible and sensitive about racially-offensive language, and I was prompted today to think about a particular instance.
I went out running, in my district of SE London, and as usual had some appropriately pounding beats on my ipod -- this evening, one of them was Jay-Z, "Dirt Off Your Shoulder". As I was getting into a rhythm and trying to motivate myself by imagining I was like Rocky training up for a fight (I don't know if anyone else draws on these little imaginary psyche routines -- sometimes I've imagined I was the yellow-suit Daredevil, sometimes a machine whose only purpose is to run), I started "spitting lyrics" under my breath when I remembered them, which was usually the few words at the end of a line:
"Your homey Hov' in position, in the kitchen with soda
I just whipped up a watch, tryin to get me a Rover
Tryin to stretch out the coca, like a wrestler, yessir
Keep the Heckler close, you know them smokers'll test ya"
And so on, just less accurate. The chorus is a lot easier to remember.
"If you feelin like a pimp nigga, go and brush your shoulders off
Ladies is pimps too, go and brush your shoulders off
Niggaz is crazy baby, don't forget that boy told you
Get, that, dirt off your shoulder"
I found myself chanting along to this for a few seconds before realising, what the fuck, I'm running down a road towards a black guy, saying "n*gger" under my breath.
Now, I know it shouldn't really take the sight of someone who would be offended or outraged by it to shock me out of using a racist word, but I was kind of caught up in an unthinking, semi-trance cycle.
I didn't try to rap along with that track anymore.
But, back home, I wondered. Is it any more "OK" for a white person, like myself, to give voice to a racist slur when it's in quotation marks, as a song lyric? It certainly flowed more easily for me: I feel I have an almost physical barrier to saying "n*gger" aloud, and would gloss it normally with "the n-word" even if I was quoting aloud from or referring aloud to a written source. The word is shamefully loaded with hatred to my ears, and saying it seems to put me in a position I don't want to identify with.
However, when it was wrapped up in a rap lyric -- and I do like and admire many hip-hop lyrics, in their rhymes, structure, delivery and attitude, their assertiveness, their wit and to an extent the pleasurably arrogant worldview they often seem to represent -- the word clearly didn't trigger the same no-no mechanisms for me.
Maybe because it's slipped into a rhythm. Maybe, I don't know, it makes a difference because it's spelled and pronounced a little differently, and is clearly part of a certain kind of urban African American "voice" where that word is acceptable as a synonym (as I understand it) for "guy", or "buddy". Maybe by delivering the lyric in the vocal style of Jay-Z (just as I'd sing along to Morrissey in his accent) I was adopting a kind of cultural ventriloquism.
Would it feel slightly stilted if, as a white person, I censored myself when rapping along, on my own, to a lyric -- a kind of clash between Jay-Z's voice and where he's "coming from", and my awareness of my own, very different cultural position -- skipping over some of the words he used, because he's entitled to say them and I don't really have the right even to quote them? Would it make a difference if I wasn't on my own when accompanying his lyric? (Yes, to me it would... I'd certainly skip that line if anyone was around to hear it, but does that mean I should also do so if nobody could hear me?)
I did apologise in advance for disjointedness... I add apology for ramble and vagueness. I hope some readers will see what I mean, and perhaps offer some views or experience of your own. I suppose the bottom line is: would you ever speak what would otherwise be a racist slur, if you were quoting an artist (actor, rapper, writer) to whom it wasn't meant as a slur? Does the artist's intention override the position of the speaker "ventriloquising" those words? |
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