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Short fat feet or long thin feet?

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Mourne Kransky

21:17 / 05.01.06

I ****ing hate feet. When I wake up in Hell, the next thing that happens, after Jack Fear's laughter reverberating in my ears, will be Satan saying "I'm opening a shoe shop and you're going to run it...bwahaha"

I have short, broad feet with a very high instep. You would not believe how hard it is to buy new shoes. I often just have old shoes that fit resoled, although that can be more expensive than a new pair these days.

Ganesh has long, thin feet. Elegant. In the great Ganesh biopic, he will have Norma Shearer's or Darcy Bussell's feet on screen. All the other elephants laugh it him. He thinks he's all that. If he could play piano with his toes or something I would see the reason for his pedal smugitude.

You like your feet? Rather have hooves?

Ganesh

21:18 / 05.01.06

I have skinny feet, but they're not especially long. They're size 7.

Tryphena Absent

21:24 / 05.01.06

My feet are completely flat.

Ariadne

21:28 / 05.01.06

My feet are size 2-and-a-half, or 3 at a push. That, and trying not to buy leather, means shoe buying can be a pain.

I don't think they're especially wide but they're not narrow and elegant either ... just yer standard Scottish pale white feet.

The delightful Loomis, on the other hand, has the longest feet ever seen...

Mourne Kransky

21:49 / 05.01.06

I have seen *Twinkle Toes* Loomis doin' his thang on the dance floor, so I know whereof you speak.

Ari, the best footwear I ever had dates back to my veggie days. Bought a pair of DM veggie Boots in Covent Garden and they lasted till my foot wore out. In fact, they were still in good nick after about a decade when I passed them on to a chap in Africa, whose feet were never going to fit them.

I have never really known what flat feet are, Nina. We had little foot tuition in nursing school, thankfully. What exactly happens when they flatten, because mine feel quite flat as they are?

ONLY NICE THINGS

21:54 / 05.01.06

I have the opposite of Ariadne's problem - my shoes are 11 1/2 to 12 (that's 13 for viewers in the US), and it's a bugger to get hold of anything that isn't clumpily orthopaedic-looking or sandalesque. As a result, the shoes I do have I wear until they disintegrate and am loth to throw out even when they are patently no longer usable as shoes. Hate shoe shopping. Hate hate hate.

sleazenation

22:02 / 05.01.06

I have the same problem as haus. It has got to the point where i do all my shoe shopping inthe states...

Mirror

22:09 / 05.01.06

Short, wide, muscular, somewhat hairy hobbit feet. I don't usually have a problem finding street shoes because my length is the epitome of average (size 9) but in climbing shoes it's an utterly different story. For some reason, the major climbing shoe manufacturers are laboring under the delusion that all climbers have narrow, straight feet.

As a consequence, I either have to buy shoes that are too large (and thus are imprecise for climbing) or I must buy the shoes that seem likeliest to stretch a lot, then soak them in water and walk around with agonizingly tight new climbing shoes on my feet until they dry out.

My feet ache just thinking about it.

Mourne Kransky

22:17 / 05.01.06

Glad to find that I am not alone in my shoe shop discomfort. Recently, I have noticed that they don't seem to be seeling them in half sizes any more in lots of stores. I don't need the precision that someone like mirror would for climbing purposes but I need 8 & 1/2. 8 is too small and 9 is too big, I have a lovely pair of Hugo Boss loafers that I bought in a sale, that are size 8. Cheap, bargain, great. But can't wear the fuckers without pain!

Mourne Kransky

22:23 / 05.01.06

For seeling read selling. That's not even a word.

Shrug

22:36 / 05.01.06

A bit hairy, not exactly hobbit level but hair nonetheless. Second toe is longer than Big Toe (apparently that's an indicator of something although I know not what). Some toes have been broken and not re-set so look a bit bendy. Ankles a bit scarred at the moment. Have one foot 10 the other 10(1/2). I always wear boots in winter and dead old, brown, comfy, slipper shoes around the house. I agree the half size thing is a pain.

All Acting Regiment

00:12 / 06.01.06

Hands for feet. Typing with 'em now.

Triplets

01:02 / 06.01.06

I have size 7s, but I'm 5'3". Fuck skis, I'll just slide on my orithpedal tobogans.

My name is Triplets... and I am a hobbit.

ibis the being

02:00 / 06.01.06

I have pretty, perfect feet. I really do. I get compliments on my feet in the summertime. And I don't even get pedicures, because I don't need to.

Still, the title of this thread gives me the willies, badly.

Alex's Grandma

03:26 / 06.01.06

My Feet - A Pome, after the style of the 60's Livepool group, Roger McGough, Adrian Henri, etc.

'Most people look up when they're down,
They look at the windows
And the clouds and the roofs
They don't ever really much ponder their hooves
Or what is the point, and what is the use.

But not me, I'm not like that
I just look at the ground
When the town seems brown.
I consider my feet
When I'm beat
And want to murder everyone.

Size ten, they are,
And incredibly beautiful,
Form, function and style
And also quite useful
Like the kind of things artists and sculptors have been
Trying for centuries, but obviously not hard enough To capture.

The fuckers.

All Acting Regiment

04:14 / 06.01.06

Typing,
With my feet. Neat, replete
With little wiggly fingers-
My feet are hands.
My feet are hands!
Black bird circle over head, yeah!
Cos Baby, this is the Ghost Land!

Ghost Land, baby,
Boiling clouds burst
To mark our passage!

Ghost Laaaaaand!
Ghost Laaaaaand!

P. Horus Rhacoid

04:20 / 06.01.06

My feet are large and sweaty.

Loomis

07:47 / 06.01.06

I always wanted to be a foot model. This thread is a list of my broken dreams.

Sax

08:01 / 06.01.06

Does anyone know if there is actually a proven scientific correllation between foot size and knob size?

I take a size eight shoe and although I have a tiny penis, it does have five vestigal toes on the end of it.

All Acting Regiment

08:14 / 06.01.06

Well in The Joy Of Sex it has a bit about how the big toe is perfectly formed to pleasure the plesioasurus...er...pleasure the clitoris.

Mistoffelees

08:20 / 06.01.06

That figures. The big toe has the most amount of horny skin.

lord henry strikes back

09:00 / 06.01.06

I shave my feet.

Feet and face, nothing else.

I like feet, I just really don't like hair on them. Other that that mine are a thin 8-9 (UK size) and insanely white. Honestly, I can read by their light on a moonless night.

Ariadne

09:02 / 06.01.06

Do you get a five o'clock shadow on your feet, then?

lord henry strikes back

09:43 / 06.01.06

Hell yeah.

If I get lazy and miss a couple of days I get velcro-ed to my socks.

Hattie's Kitchen

09:58 / 06.01.06

I'm a 5'6" girlie and have size 7 feet - the little toe on my left foot is somewhat stunted and is webbed with the toe next to it. It's not too freaky-looking though - I had one ex who LOVED to suck on my little deformity. Although that's probably too much information...

Hattie's Kitchen

10:05 / 06.01.06

You need feet
to stand up straight with,
You need feet
to kick your friends,
You need feet
to keep your socks up,
And stop your legs from
fraying at the ends.

You need feet
to walk to Scunthorpe,
Or to dance
the hoochy-coo,
Yes the whole world needs
feet for something,
And I need feet
to run away from you.

"You Need Feet" by The Rutles.

lord nuneaton savage

10:27 / 06.01.06

After several years of continual winklepicker abuse my feet have morphed into pointy daggers. They are great for stabbing bullies in the eye with.

Axolotl

11:26 / 06.01.06

I have exceedingly unpleasant feet and have selflessly vowed never to unleash them upon the world, unprepared as it is to face their horror. I cannot tell you anymore about them as it would shatter your puny minds and send you reeling into the abyss of insanity

mistress_swank

11:27 / 06.01.06

I have gorgeous feet, like ibis. Long (size 9), with long toes and gorgeous nails. I pedicure them lovingly every two weeks. I have a wide array of shoes, from the ridiculous to the expensive and also of the ridiculously expensive variety. (For my 30th birthday, I bought myself a pair of Salvatore Ferragamo black flats.)

My Converse Chuck Taylors make my feet look ridiculously long, which miiiight be because said Taylors have an orange tropical print on them, but how could I not buy them, regardless of the resemblance to clown shoes?

Incidentally, my mother had me convinced until I was about 15 that if you pressed both "buttons" of your ankle simultaneously, your foot would fall off. I'm still dealing with the calamitous mental fallout of that assertion's refutation.

Holy crap, check the fifty-cent words!

Mike Modular

12:11 / 06.01.06

Yes, a pair of Converse can make a foot look freakishly long (as a friend kindly pointed out to me). My feet are flat and wide and a 10 (UK) in most normal shoes but an 11 in a trainer. Seems most trainer-makers these days assume that everyone has a slender foot, forcing me into a larger size, just to get enough width. What happened to those Clarks machines when I was a lad that measured length and width by boxing your foot inbetween little moving metal walls (that's not a great description, but someone must know what I mean...?) Half sizes and widths, that's what we want...

Mourne Kransky

14:48 / 06.01.06

Those excellent machines! Thew shoes would fit perfectly and you only had a choice of one style in brown or black. Life was simple and efficient.

I seem to recall foot x-ray machines too but I'm not sure whether they still used them in my infancy or not. Guess not or there would be lots of middle aged people now with foot cancer, suing the cobblers off Clarks.

lord henry strikes back

15:04 / 06.01.06

Those excellent machines! Thew shoes would fit perfectly and you only had a choice of one style in brown or black. Life was simple and efficient.

How was childhood in Mother Russia?

Mourne Kransky

15:27 / 06.01.06

It was the Socialist Republic of Central Scotland but 'twas largely the same thing.

lord henry strikes back

15:34 / 06.01.06

Ahhh... McKhrushchev, how we morn his passing.

Loomis

15:58 / 06.01.06

We had those in Australia! They were tops.

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