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If you were a fashion dictator...

 
  

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Tryphena Absent
13:23 / 04.01.06
I would ban black fake-wool coats with bars at the small of the back, specifically the horizontal pieces of material that are held on to the coat with buttons (sometimes metal). They were really popular in Bay Trading Co. in the mid 90s and I have always disliked them. They're a cheap way of fitting a coat and only look good on military styles.

Anyone else have a pet hate?
 
 
Gendudehashadenough
21:18 / 04.01.06
I'd firebomb Forever 21; watch the pre-frayed jeans, courderoy and suede coats slowly crumple and singe until I have a new coal-miners look to sell to all the Hollister fucks who think they can fit there 11 year old bodies into a 20dd year old's clothing.

Oh, and what the hell is with those belts of chain/metal that do absolutely nothing to hold up trouspants and look like they belong on a commune's kindergarden class space collage? (sp?)

I could go on...oh mow, could I..
 
 
All Acting Regiment
08:12 / 05.01.06
The smug look of superiority worn on the immaculately preened face of Converse All Star-wearing students as they peer around the Cafe and notice that someone happens to be wearing Nike trainers, rofful smrrk LOL! Both of these shoes are made by the same company. Possibly even the same children.

While we're on the subject, dreadlocks and Rage Against The Machine paraphernalia on young men who study Business management. The same goes for peaked beanie caps and big knitted dreadlock container type hats.
 
 
ZF!
08:42 / 05.01.06
K-Swiss sneakers.

They're ugly.

Why is it that in the adverts nobody actually wears them, instead holds them next to their face?



Why don't they wear the things?

Maybe the things are uncomfortable as well.
 
 
Saveloy
08:47 / 05.01.06
Headgear really pisses people off, doesn't it? My pet hate is still the floppy / flower-pot / cricket hat, which I have always associated with tossers. It's difficult to find an example online of the most offensive type, but these come close:

Unpleasantness
 
 
ZF!
08:54 / 05.01.06
I'll second headgear. Especially those in that link.
Brr.
 
 
Smoothly
09:58 / 05.01.06
Why don't they wear the things?

I have a clipping of an advert for some shoes that bears the legend: ‘We Dare You To Wear Them Out’. I don’t think they were K-Swiss though.

All my sartorial pet hates just sound pathetic and mean. Also, I mostly dress for shit so am in no position to judge. However, IMO, nothing says ‘I don’t care about my appearance’ like a sports sandal.



Air Deschutz – For When You’re Stranded On A Desert Island.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:23 / 05.01.06
Those hats are criminal. I hope birds poo on them.
 
 
Mike Modular
15:17 / 05.01.06
Urgh, Jeeesus Smoothly, that picture made me physically recoil from the computer. Bad shoes. Bad, bad shoes.
 
 
Sekhmet
15:44 / 05.01.06
Women's exercise wear with words emblazoned across the butt.
 
 
HCE
17:32 / 05.01.06
One hates to think what sort of juice those 'Juciy' behinds might emit.

I would ban ugg boots for those not trekking across an actual tundra. An air-conditioned shopping center does not count as a tundra.
 
 
Persephone
02:08 / 06.01.06
Once at the gym I saw a woman with words "New Pork" in blackletter across the butt. That's certainly frank, I thought. It was a couple days later when I realized that it actually must have said "New York."
 
 
All Acting Regiment
04:38 / 06.01.06
3/4 length baseball shirts. They make the arm look like the leg visible below the bottom of britches.
 
 
ZF!
09:21 / 06.01.06
Are there really people who wear Cons thinking themselves morally superior to those wearing Nike's?

I've never come across them.

Do people wearing Nike's think themselves fashionably superior to those wearing Cons?

I wear both.

Can I snort amusedly at myself?
 
 
Saveloy
09:28 / 06.01.06
Yes - if you wear them at the same time. [Off Topic] I've known someone do that with boots - accidentally mind. She sat at her desk, burst out laughing and said "I've just realised I'm wearing odd boots!" They were the same colour, but completely different heel heights [/Off Topic].
 
 
Jack Vincennes
17:35 / 06.01.06
Those tops, which look like a shirt under a smaller jumper -perhaps even tank top -and on closer inspection reveal themselves to be but one garment, with both the "jumper" and the "shirt" made of an impossibly flimsy material. The way they hang just looks so wrong (maybe I only notice the bad ones tho'), and don't look much at all like what they're meant to imitate...

That said, when attempts to wear an actual shirt under a knitted garment tend to make anyone at all, even Kate Moss, look a little husky, but still it is not an excuse for the false promises made by a pretend jumper.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
01:07 / 07.01.06
Yep, the converse thing actually happens! Particularly in north west England. It's part of general snobbery (mind you, I suppose I'm being snobbish in criticizing someone for it).
 
 
Charlus
09:25 / 07.01.06
Gypsy skirts, and anything that is frayed and has a faded logo on it. Think Diesel. Those short sleeved hoodies with frayed edges where the sleeves used to be which young boys wear over t-shirts -speaking of t-shirts, I would ban t-shirts that have crass logos like "geek and proud of it" or "chocoholic" and "I'm scared of clowns." Anything Tsubi (so 90's) those kitten heeled thongs, people who wear ugg boots with Jeans in place of normal shoes, bad sales assistants, t-shirts with holes in them, suit jackets with jeans and sneakers, Sandals with jeans, that hair cut that was started by David Beckham (the one that is a faux mohawk) which looks like a birds nest or someone had bubblegum stuck in their hair, Fake handbags (if you can't afford the real deal then you can't have one -talk about an inferiority complex) editors who claim that by owning a certain brand perfume (Gucci ect) is just the same as owning the clothes, which they know full well that with the exclusion of Hermès and Chanel, all perfumes are outsourced and aren't created by the houses, and they end up smelling like dishwashing liquid, or something that smells like it would attract a donkey.
Davidoff "cool water". Everytime I smell it I feel nauseaus.
Those giant sandals that guys were with three quarter length pants and.....

GIRLS WHO DRESS THERE BOYFRIENDS I swear it's like a virus. Just because they look bad they need to inflict it onto others. Mothers wearing the same clothes as their daughters (see demin such as Sass and Bide) I don't care if you can fit into them, there is such as thing as ageing gracefully. People who walk around with shopping bags from high end stores (Chanel, Swarovski and again Hermès seem to be popular). Anything "urban" (army hats, combat pants) coloured jeans, Those coloured plastic bands that people were around their wrists.

However what I would ban the most are the articles written in magazines such as Vogue. Talk about insulting to ones intelligence.

Oh, and I think that Prada's version of the flowerpot hat from the Spring 05' RTW collection reigned supreme. But only a certain few can pull the flowerpot off.
 
 
Mazarine
09:43 / 07.01.06
My hatred is so generic, but I really want to murder all the teenagers I see wearing polo shirts with the collars up. I'd also like to put the kibosh on giant sunglasses, but only because I'm very sick of selling them. Also, glitter, on anything. It makes so many nice shirts completely unwearable. I'm also quite sick of those purses completely covered in giant dangly sequins, especially the silver ones, because every time the sun hits one I am momentarily blinded.

I am also not a fan of prefaded jeans, but the whisker fade irks me in particular. I feel like they should just finish the job and make it arrows pointing directly to the genitals, or lights, like a landing strip.

Trendies. I am crushing your heads.
 
 
HCE
19:36 / 07.01.06
Fake handbags (if you can't afford the real deal then you can't have one -talk about an inferiority complex)

Whoa, nellie. Since this is an imaginary world we're talking about, why don't you just make handbags free so everybody can afford them. No need to get nasty with poor folk.
 
 
unheimlich manoeuvre
02:41 / 08.01.06
Seconded. Anyway the deisgner label and the *fakes* may have been made in the same place or conditions.

t-shirts with holes in them, suit jackets with jeans and sneakers

Do you mean designer holes? Jesus I think I wore a black jacket with jeans and trainers... put me up against the firing squad.
Hell as D.H. said it's your Dictatorship.

...

In mine I'd do just one thing. Dress down day at work. It should be fucking DRESS DOWN DAY Dagnamit! Everyone dressed in Gap, or whatever, is not casual. It's a new uniform. Surely people could do better than chinos?
 
 
Charlus
06:17 / 08.01.06
Dear Dirty Ho,

If they were made for free, then they would lose the value that people place on them, i.e. street cred, status ect, wouldn't they? Hermès Kelly and Birkin bags aren't known merely for the quality, it is the amount they cost and the likehood of obtaining one that makes them so desirable and sought after. Do you remember the "Sex and the city" episode where Samantha tried to buy one?

I also dislike it when people claim that they would rather own a fake then buy a real one, because of how much they cost. These comments are so hypocritical. If you don't like they pricing, don't buy it on the first place. Again, this reënforces my belief that in order for people to obtain status in society, they need to own one of these bags. These bags come with psychological strings attached.
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
19:08 / 08.01.06
I also dislike it when people claim that they would rather own a fake then buy a real one, because of how much they cost. These comments are so hypocritical. If you don't like they pricing, don't buy it on the first place.

Maybe they just like the way the bags look?
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
19:54 / 08.01.06
Whoops, must go on. I'm assuming, by the way, that you're talking about Gucci/Prada bags and the like, but really it doesn't matter.

If they were made for free, then they would lose the value that people place on them, i.e. street cred, status ect, wouldn't they? Hermès Kelly and Birkin bags aren't known merely for the quality, it is the amount they cost and the likehood of obtaining one that makes them so desirable and sought after. Do you remember the "Sex and the city" episode where Samantha tried to buy one?

Again, this reënforces my belief that in order for people to obtain status in society, they need to own one of these bags.


If you mean that the purpose of these bags is to raise somebody's social status, well, maybe in part. Certainly you're right that much of their cachet lies in their expense, but they also hold stuff. To reiterate, maybe some people buy knockoffs because they like the way the bags look but don't want to pay a ridiculously high price for one, because *shock horror* they don't care if their bag raises their social status but instead just want something to carry things around in?

Of course, because a significant part of these bags' appeal is their expense, I'm sure that lots of people are buying knockoffs so that it looks like they can afford the real thing. So what? Can you honestly tell me that you can't understand why somebody might possibly want to appear as if they have more money than they actually do?

Okay, so you say that these bags reinforce the link between money/possessions/social status. (Symptom of would probably more accurate, but fair enough.) You then denounce people who can't afford them for daring to appear as if they can. Does that not seem a tad bit hypocritical to you?

These bags come with psychological strings attached.

Everybody does not automatically see things the same as you.

It seems like the heart of your idea is that you dislike the link between money and social status. This is fine, I agree with that and I'm sure most if not all people on the board feel roughly the same way. However, denouncing people who don't have money but who aspire to have it or to appear as if they have it is probably not the best way to go about criticizing materialism. I'm really trying not to be snarky here, but man, listen to what you're saying.
 
 
Smoothly
20:24 / 08.01.06
I couldn't agree with you more, Fun With Phobias. There's something particularly paradoxical going on when people who own the 'real thing' get snooty about those with the knock-offs. If it's passing as something that cost you 10 times more then they're the ones who should be sniggering at you. If it's not, then it's just another bag that looks a bit like yours, and no more fake Hermès than painting a red stripe on the sleeve of my Berghaus makes it fake Prada.

Again, this reënforces my belief that in order for people to obtain status in society, they need to own one of these bags.

Quite the opposite, I'd have thought. There can be no particular status attached if everyone's got 'em. You say so yourself.
 
 
Charlus
21:39 / 08.01.06
Well, I must concede that some of the comments that I made in my last post were rather frivolous to say the least.

Sorry if I touched a nerve.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
21:55 / 08.01.06
Well, it's about holding value, isn't it? A Hermès scarf or a Louis Vuitton bag communicates "I am wealthy. I am so wealthy that I can drop all these Benjamins on a scarf or bag, safe in the knowledge that I will not need that money to spend on anything else". Therefore, if fakes (which, as has been said, might be being made in the same conditions and the same locations as the real thing) are good enought to fool people, then the value of carrying something that looks like a Louis Vuitton bag is enormously reduced as a signifier of wealth. Hence the complex curlicues that help to demonstrate that something really is an original - like the anti-forgery measures on a currency note.
 
 
HCE
03:23 / 10.01.06
To answer your question, gustave, no. I have never watched Sex & the City. Despite my best efforts, I have a vague notion that it's about some women in New York.

Haus, do you think that very good knockoffs harm the value of a status object as much as a poor one does?

A knockoff that passes sends the wealth-signal, which is not threatening to the wealthy, where an obvious fake sends the poor-and-looking-closely-at-the-rich-signal. I imagine that it's an awareness of being subjected to that kind of hungry gaze by the poor that would make the rich really uncomfortable, and the point of status is to be comfortable.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
05:48 / 10.01.06
Hmm... that's a good point, DH - although if a good fake is carried by somebody who is not signifying wealth successfully, then that again lowers the value of the genuine article being carried.

We're looking at it from two different directions, I think; you see the bad fake as the poor looking hungruly at the rich (that is, making it clear that they are prepared to go to unsavoury means to mimic the lifestyles of the rich), which carries a coded threat I hadn't considered. On the other hand, I'm conflicted as to whether, as long as the rich feel safe, the hungry gaze of the poor isn't actually something to be enjoyed and celebrated.

The good fake I was thinking of as more upsetting because it upsets ideas about who should have one - like convincing fake money, it lowers the value of real money because a) there is more stuff that passes for real money/handbags in circulation and b) you can say with less confidence that any given bag is an original.

Hmmm. I think we're both probably right in different situations. Presumably the worst possible thing for a rich person would be to own a good fake without knowing it...
 
 
sleazenation
10:43 / 10.01.06
...And then proving that rich person that their goods are fake...
 
 
Sekhmet
17:35 / 12.01.06
I think those brown Louis Vouitton handbags are ugly as sin anyway. How do the damn things keep coming back into style?
 
 
Loomis
11:33 / 13.01.06
Ponchos will be first against the wall when the LoomisCorp troops roll into Fashion Town. Thankfully they didn't last long but you still see the odd person who needs a spell in the re-education camp.
 
 
Axolotl
11:49 / 13.01.06
My most hated of all garments are those shirts that have collars and cuffs of a contrasting colour to the rest of the shirt. They're terrible, terrible things, uniformly worn by idiots, he says generalising madly.
I'm not keen on french cuffs on anything other than a dress shirt, but that is just my own particular foible.
 
 
Dead Megatron
20:36 / 27.01.06
Furr!!!!

And not as much for being cruel to animals (those who know me know I'm not the biggest advocate of, for the lack of a better term, political correctness. Besides, I do use leather), but because it's so damn ugly. I mean, it's like going out dressed in a carpet, for freak's sake...
 
 
Ganesh
22:48 / 27.01.06
Men wearing sunglasses on their foreheads.
 
  

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