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VALHALLA CALLING!!!

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We're The Great Old Ones Now

08:08 / 24.10.05

HELLO, TINY BARBELITES! IT IS WINTER!!!!

Yes, Small Ones, it is winter, and the mighty VIKING SEASON is upon us!! Root out your horned hats and your furry bikinis (yes, you men, too) and gird yourselves up for the TIME OF MEAD AND FEASTING!

The summery PIRATE MEME must sleep, and the mighty VIKING LONGBOATS will pillage the shoreline and eat and make merry with your comely sons and daughters! HOOOO HO!!!!

PREPARE THE TRIBUTE, BRING OUT THE MEAD! Hafnur Hafnurson and Skoli Kolyasbrudder demand it! HHOOOHAHAHAOOOHOHO!!!

Less searchable M0rd4nt

09:04 / 24.10.05

Dude, It's getting to be Winter. Sailing around in longboats pillaging is blatantly a summer activity. All the Vikings are at home fixing their boats and eating herrings, possibly with some sort of porrige, and enjoying weekly baths.

You are obviously confused. You mean the BARBARIAN season is upon us! BARBARIANS go around on horses and not boats, and therefore the ice of Winter will impede them not. It will merely enable them to cross rivers with greater ease.

All Acting Regiment

09:13 / 24.10.05

Yeah, this is a bit close to the Barbarian wisdom thread, isn't it? Though, I can see a point in finding a winter equivalent of pirates. Uh. Smugglers?

Supaglue

09:19 / 24.10.05

Pah. Vikings are just pirates with red beards.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

09:22 / 24.10.05

Exactly, supaglue. The mighty BARBARIAN shall ride amongst yout huts as winter comes on!

8===>Q: alyn

10:28 / 24.10.05

Good god, you idiots will fight about anything. Vikings are barbarians. The opposite of a Viking is a Persian.

All Acting Regiment

10:48 / 24.10.05

Um, no, surely it's those Lindisfarne monk blokes? Unless you're talking 13th Warrior.

8===>Q: alyn

10:55 / 24.10.05

Don't be stupid and racist, Legba. That was an Arab, which is a desert barbarian.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

11:02 / 24.10.05

Vikings are totally Pirates. Barbarians have horses, and maybe yurts. They are immune to cold.

8===>Q: alyn

11:05 / 24.10.05

Are you saying a Viking can't ride a horse? Are you telling me that a Viking can't ride a motherfucking horse? God! You're so stupid!

Less searchable M0rd4nt

11:10 / 24.10.05

He could WHEN HE'S AT HOME. If he's out actually BEING A VIKING, he's ON A BOAT. Maybe YOU think horses can go on longboats, DUR-BRAIN.

Supaglue

11:40 / 24.10.05

Ah, but horses are just boats. On land.

+#'s, - names

11:54 / 24.10.05

Our only goal will be the western shore?

Sekhmet

12:24 / 24.10.05

Can barbarians wear furry bikinis too?

I'm only asking because I actually have one.

Grey Cell

12:48 / 24.10.05

This is one of the few things that sometimes make me regret being a veggie... a Viking wolfing down large greasy chunks of tofu just doesn't feel right.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

13:28 / 24.10.05

Ah, but the mead! Quaff enough mead and you'll think a tofuburger or ten smashed up together and rounded of with some truly hearty bread is roast ox dripping with grease.

Or you won't care anyway, and will eat the real thing. Then when you wake up, not only will you have a viking-sized hangover - but something to regret on an invasion-of-russia-sweeping-down-to-Normandy scale.

All Acting Regiment

13:47 / 24.10.05

But no. No no no. Arab or Persian, the guy out of 13th warrior read books and minced. Ninja.

Mistoffelees

14:29 / 24.10.05

While you´re all busy squabbling, the VANDALS have pillaged all Halloween sweets. No treats, just tricking this year...

Triplets

14:55 / 24.10.05

Pah. Vikings are just pirates with red beards.

Actually, they're just aquatic barbarians.

...Barbarians = Pirates?

Aertho

14:59 / 24.10.05

What I want to know is: What are aquatic ninjas?

15:10 / 24.10.05

Swordfish?

8===>Q: alyn

15:19 / 24.10.05

Give. Me. Strength.

Look. Barbarians loathe sorcery. Arabs loathe sorcery. Ipso facto, Arabs are Barbarians. Greeks, Hebrews, secular Humanists, mad scientists, Barbarians all. Okay? Ninjas and pirates don't come enter into it.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

15:35 / 24.10.05

What about that dude who wrote the Necronomicon? He was an Arab, and he was well into his sorcery.

Aertho

15:53 / 24.10.05

I don't want to be a swordfish. What's ninja come Winter?

15:54 / 24.10.05

Who says Barbarians can't have sorcery? And the gods in the Necronomicon were described as BARBARIC. Ipso facto.

8===>Q: alyn

15:59 / 24.10.05

That Arab was A) Mad, and B) FICTIONAL. I don't know about you, but I live in the real world. And, for Pete's sake, Gods can be Barbaric if they want.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

16:24 / 24.10.05

That's it. I'm totally coming round there and pillaging the lot of you. Mordant, Vikings can go a-vikin' whenever they want, and who's going to argue? (More properly, any argument will devolve into a punch-up, which is a profoundly viking situation, and hence a victory for the vikings ipso facto.) And yes, Vikings are barbarians, being bearded and everything.

I love you all for even having this discussion, but I'm afraid that's not going to stop me setting fire to your puny dwellings and having my way with your chattels.

HOOOOOOO HA!

Supaglue

16:40 / 24.10.05

.. And I for one shall join you in killing their women, eating their babies and raping their livestock.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

18:05 / 24.10.05

I like Vikings. They're like barbarian pirates. What's not to like?

FROM THE FURY OF THE NORSEMEN, O LORD PROTECT US!!!

Not a fucking chance, Godboy.

HCE

18:27 / 24.10.05

I've got five sacks of saffron says Vikings can kiss my Persian ass.

Mon Oncle Ignatius

18:50 / 24.10.05

Barbarian pirates who wrote great poetry. Barbarian pirates who tormented one of their number for not having a beard, then burned him to death in his house. Barbarian pirates who "discovered" the Americas before Columbus. Barbarian pirates who invented the first form of parliamentary democracy as the Althing in Iceland(1), but who still managed to be basically anarchists.

There was a TV series in the UK a while back which set out to prove using DNA that a large proporion of the population is descended from Vikings. It explains a lot about Newcastle, and not in a bad way.

Vikings are STRONG TRUTH, but with a cooler script than Conan; viz. The Vikings. Any film which has a line like "Love and hate are horns on the same goat" and a superb musical theme which just resonates with horned bravado has just got to be good.

(1) The Vikings back home in Norway were a bit more conservatively attached to their kings.

All Acting Regiment

18:54 / 24.10.05

Yeah, Ninjas are cool.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

19:14 / 24.10.05

Tango-Mango, I was trying really hard not to become all Serious Viking History Person in the vicinity of this thread, and now you've made me look silly.

I must now get all up in your shit with a nithing-post.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

19:16 / 24.10.05

And if it wasn't for the Vikings, where would Black Metal be?

That's it. If I wasn't already convinced of the need to move to Reykjavik before the Olympics rape and pillage London, I totally am now.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

19:17 / 24.10.05

And how can you not love a historical source called Snorri? Snorri is the best name ever. If I ever (Gods forbid) have a kid, it will be named Snorri.

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