Lame Ass Costumes. [PICS]

14:47 / 17.10.05

Remember when Beast had Yellow Armour? All of the stupid Spider-Man costume redesign's of the 90's? Aquaman's...Actually, he's never looked cool.

This thread is a place to make fun of the stupidest looks that heroes (and villains) have worn out in public. Let's bring 'em to the table and have a laugh.

14:48 / 17.10.05

Calculator's original look...egads, man. It's no wonder he got beat up so often.

Eloi Tsabaoth

14:59 / 17.10.05

I have a virulent personal hatred of any costume design containing more than 2 colours. For example, Vision...

Bleh.

15:09 / 17.10.05

Does that mean you prefer the pale yellow?

Looks rather paler than intended in the above gif, but point made.

I'd put anything with a cape on the list. They just don't work.

H3ct0r L1m4

15:09 / 17.10.05

"radical! you know, teens will love it."

16:00 / 17.10.05

Adding a leather jacket doesn't always make something cool.

16:06 / 17.10.05

Isn't Animal Man's costume just another analysis of the character? It's perfect.

Billuccho!

16:10 / 17.10.05

Dr. Manhattan.

Hee.

But hey, I remember liking the Energy Superman stuff...

Benny the Ball

16:15 / 17.10.05

The black armour daredevil outfit was pretty bad.

In trying to find an image of the awful new booster gold robot heart monitor outfit seen at the end of the old series run, I found this, which is, however, just unusual -

Superpony's

16:28 / 17.10.05

Crisis-period Supergirl, with the perm and headband, is pretty Flashdance. Sorry I couldn't find any artwork at short notice.

I did buy a Supergirl comic from this period once, after getting a major crush on Helen Slater in the feature film.

16:34 / 17.10.05

Master of costumes, Alan Davis.

Knows to keep things simple (Kylun).
Knows when to let timeless designs stand (Phoenix).
Knows when to update old designs to match character growth (Captain Britain, Nightcrawler).
Knows to allow characters to have a temporary and satirical look, when it fits that character's history of fadgrabbing (Kitty Pryde).

Ganesh

16:38 / 17.10.05

Adding a leather jacket doesn't always make something cool.

Animal Man's jacket isn't even leather, which would presumably have compromised his vegetarian/vegan stance. I seem to recall an interview or letter column or summat where GM explains that it's just a naff canvas affair he carries his house keys in. Which means we are all the more TEH SHOCKED when, as an unorthodox means of processing bereavement, Buddy hacks his hair off and dons a black leather version from his, ahem, punk days.

Are Being Stolen By Bandits

17:50 / 17.10.05

If Zorro, Batman, and The Punisher were to mate:

THE FOOLKILLER WOULD BE BORN.

Actually, biologically, this is impossible.

Thank God.

Quimper

18:24 / 17.10.05

Ladies and gentlemen...I give you...

MADCAP!

A little history about this Captain America "villian"...

Lacking anything better to do, he bought a toy soap bubble-making gun from a dime store and stole a harlequin outfit from a costume shop. Calling himself Madcap, he decided to wander New York City and randomly cause people to go crazy in order to demonstrate to them the meaninglessness of existence.

Ganesh

19:06 / 17.10.05

Crazy Quilt

Actually, I suspect my reasons for loathing this obscure Batman foe are at least as much to do with the shit name as the garish costume. For those of us on this side of the Atlantic, it conjures up images of a psychotic duvet...

19:32 / 17.10.05

I'd put anything with a cape on the list. They just don't work.

Dead inside, is what you are. It's the only possible explanation.

Eloi Tsabaoth

19:42 / 17.10.05

Good.

Bad.

LIEFELD.

Triplets

19:42 / 17.10.05

No capes!

Where to fucking begin, eh? The seriously unhip leather-jacket-over-costume, the round-rimmed shades (mercifully absent), and the Michael Jacksony belts and bangles placed by the world's most sadistic tailor. Maybe belts help you fight crime? Works for Batman right? If he was really serious about crime, Batman (or as people know him, Beltman) needs to start strapping them to his face and anywhere else that might touch criminals nightly.

God, did Luthor forget to put in some style genes in when he was making sweaty genetic soup with Clark?

And the hair. The hair! Did his barber die half-way up his head? For fuck ache!

20:00 / 17.10.05

A distinction should be made.

Cape.

Cloak.

CameronStewart

21:07 / 17.10.05

Nitpickery over cape/cloak aside, you still back up your argument by posting a picture of what is arguably the best-designed, most iconic superhero costume ever.

Blanket statements - say no, kids!

21:37 / 17.10.05

Blanket statement noted. I don't really like the Superman costume either. I'll illustrate further:

Capes are flags. They're big wavy swatches of color that get attention and attach grandiose meaning. Superman is all about meaning, attention, and the American flag. Which is why it works for him. Likewise, capes have a similar behavior, but oppositional message when put on Magneto and Doom.

Cloaks are all about hiding the form. Like a frilled neck lizard, the cloak can disguise a man's size and distract the eye away. Batman's cloak works because he's a ninja who likes imagery. Spawn isn't much else but imagery.

Explain this cape.

-

It's entirely subjective, yes, but comes down to this: How many costumes can be designed utilizing a cape well? There's the five mentioned above. Who else?

21:40 / 17.10.05

Catwoman has worn what Destiny's Child might call some nassty, trashy, sleazy costumes over the years. Bolland's painfully stilted style just makes them look worse -- even the half-decent outfits.

My vote goes to that freaky dame with the Edna Everage specs and ninetails whip, and the 1970s poledancer with red mantis-mask at the top.

Triplets

21:44 / 17.10.05

What about the frumpy one at 10 ó clock?

"You've met your match, in Mum-woman!"

Henningjohnathan

21:51 / 17.10.05

3-D Man is famous for not only possessing the most ludicrous costume but also the most ridiculous powers. He had the speed, strength, intelligence and agility of three men!

Doesn't help much if those three men are lame, crippled, autistic klutzes.

Henningjohnathan

22:09 / 17.10.05

And of course, even Jericho feels bad about his lame ass costume-

Good thing you're dead, Jerry.

The Falcon

22:23 / 17.10.05

I can't believe I held this one back from you, Barbelith. I'm so sorry. Somethingawful.com's fashion SWAT on superheroes.

All your answers therein, plus I nearly puked laughing.

p.s. where's that AM pic from? I really like it, but 's not in any of my trades.

Bard: One-Man Humaton Hoedown

22:51 / 17.10.05

You know Superman and Wonder Woman's son in "The Kingdom"? That's one of the worst costumes I've seen in recent years, if anyone can get a picture of it. I remember it as being gorily 1980s.

23:32 / 17.10.05

The Catwoman with the glasses just looks WAY too enthusiastic about swinging that whip.

Now, if you're talking Animal Man-related costumes...how about the Red Hood guy? With the death touch. Nevermind how bad that costume is...how the hell did he SEE out of that opaque fishbowl helmet?

LDones

04:00 / 18.10.05

Are you regularly unenthusiastic when donning a whip that elaborate?

Green cape Catwoman costumes remain my favorite - they look like magician's assistant outfits mixed with powersuits, somehow.

They're also Getting-Struck-By-Lightning-While-Trying-To-Kill-Nocturna era, which amuses me.

04:20 / 18.10.05

So far, we've learned that Superman's costume is terrible and Brian Bolland is a lousy artist. Whatever will happen next in this crazy thread where black is white, hotdogs eat people, and nothing is the way it seems?