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FADE IN
PHEX and his agent, LEONARD 'THE PECKER' PECKERVICH are backstage at the Barbies, PHEX's face is streaked by tears, he looks forlornly at a half-empty bottle of whiskey
Phex: Lenny, you promised me 'Best dressed male' this year, promised me!
Peckervich: Can I help it if Money Shot and his 'pussy posse' turned up in those matching jump suits? I'll be farting sequins for a week... and you might have won if you hadn't stuffed your crotch so much.
Phex: The toilet tissue was for definition! Everybody's doing it!
Peckervich: There's what? Two, three rolls down there?
Phex: Three. And a pot plant from the lobby.
Peckervich: You'd better take it out before you present the award for 'best editing in a topic post of two hundred words or less'.
Phex (enraged): MY ENHANCEMENT STAYS!
Peckervich: Maybe if you grease a few palms in the after-party you'd be in with a shot next year
(Phex has begun to cry)
Peckervich: Couldn't hurt to take a few more roles in the forums, there's a debate on whether Feminism could beat up Post-Marxist theory and whether they could both beat up the Hulk.
Phex(stifling tears): Will there be nudity?
Peckervich: Well... it'll be tastefully done. Soft focus.
(Phex begins crying again)
Peckervich: I'll tell them you'll think about it.
Fade to black |
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