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Sorry everyone. I just kind of had a rough week, wandered into the library and typed "help me". I wasn't really being specific or asking for anything, I just felt a pathetic "help me" was in order. Bad form Denfeld.
So to quickly recap. The last week or so (it's actually all kinda blended into one really long fucking day) have not been good for morale. Sleep was horrible, a kind of half-sleep, thinking every noise is a cop or murder-robber opening up the door to the abandoned house to get you in your sleep.
The car broke down in the parking garage, so sleeping there I worried that someone would find me, and if I saw a security guard hanging about I'd just keep on riding and try the old empty house, even though I really wanted to avoid it on weeknights because ou never know when new tenants or anything are gonna come by some morning.
The worst was when I just broke down, couldn't get into the garage, and rode around all night trying to find a cheap hotel room. The cheapest I found was $100 or so, and I was so tired and hot by that point I lost all willpower and went ahead and payed for the room.
Money started bleeding away in the form of cigartettes, convenience food, movies to pass the days, biore strips (homelessness will fuck your pores up).
Felt like crying a bunch of times while riding the bike at night/wee morning hours and thought it wouldn't be a good idea, because some cop might think i was insane and beat me up or arrest me or something.
Last straw came when a security guard woke me up around 9am or so the other day. Told me I was loitering and there had been reports that I was sleeping there a few times already that week. So I left. Broke down and called around, and finally called my dad. After a little "You're walking around like a homeless guy?" words of wisdom and pep talks, I'm now staying here for a few days, with a best case scenario of renting out this guy Frankie Bones' couch for a few months starting upcoming monday, or worse case trying to get a cheapo one bedroom by next thursday.
Thanks for all the kind words, and I apologize again for the "help me". A moment of weakness on my part. |
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