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Loomis, et al;
I don't know if you've made the baby Jesus cry just yet, with all the terrible things you've been saying, but, while I'd no doubt be doing this anyway, I'm reaching for the bottle of scotch doubly, right about now.
Midnight's Children - well okay it's flawed a bit admittedly. The 'knees and nose' thing in particular is teetering on the edge Terry Pratchett-esque camp, except 'not as good' I'd imagine. 'Not as good' as Terry Pratchett ( I do rather hope I've spelled the mindless c***'s name wrong, ) because he's 'workmanlike' and 'unpretentious,' the eccentric bearded nightmare.
One Hundred Years Of Solitude - I suppose the names are an over-played trope, but anyone who doesn't like this book should cut out the middleman and just join the police, IMVHO. ( Nothing wrong with being 'on The Force,' they do a good job and so on, of course, but for heaven's sake... )
Catcher In The Rye - You're supposed to read this when you're Sixteen. I'm not sure if it was ever really meant to be an ideal for living.
On The Road - As above, except add a few years.
Middlemarch - If you don't at least admire the way it's done, the plotting, the seamless characterisation, there's hardly a word in there that doesn't absolutely need to be, you are ( not to nick a trick off Flyboy, ) beneath contempt.
Thomas Hardy ( with huge apologies to everyone for the above, and following, snippiness ) - Well he's not as good as Poppy Z Brite, is he ? In comparison, the man's a total cock-horse. He must be literally turning in his grave, poor old Tom H, at the thought of the way his legacy has been entirely improved on, and laid to waste by finer minds, since.
I dare say someone's going to have a go at Joseph Conrad next, and then I will have to kill myself.
What if it isn't the novelist, essentially, who is a pretentious, la-de-dah loser clown lining up razorblades in the bathroom mirror, what, if in fact, that was just you ?
It probably isn't worth thinking about, but, like it or not, the idea the 100 Years Of Solitude is a 'bad book' in a world where someone like Tony Parsons gets a six figure deal for his latest ('unpretentious, life-as-it's-lived, ) atrocity, is frankly a disgrace to your integrity.
( Really not trying to start a fight here, unless of course it's about 'the ideas,' in which case, damnit, bring it on, motherf*******... I guess I'm going to the pub ) |
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