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Underground > Temple >

Defensive Spells Against The Next Door Neighbours

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04:07 / 05.06.05

It's only a matter of days, now, before the character in the house opposite performs the usual annual Summer Solstice cleansing ritual.

I'm guessing it involves the re-direction of negative energy ( you just dance around a cauldron full of herbs it seems, you know, while shouting, ) but the number of times I've lost my keys/money/fags in the aftermath of these performances...

I mean the negative energy has to go somewhere, and so on.

So, how would I go about filling this character in ?

In magical terms, obviously. IRL, I know people who know people who know people ( £15 a limb - they'll kill for virtually nothing, those guys, ) but that is not the way that I want to go.

Or is it ?

( All joking aside, thoughts would be appreciated - Person in house opposite unloads their no doubt mountain of bad ideas in this joint's general direction all the bleeding time - I'd just like a backhand to their serve, basically. )

09:45 / 05.06.05

Get a jar, fill it with broken mirror and nails (the older and rustier the better). Then shit in it. Screw up the top of the jar and bury it as close to the front door frame as you can. If your location precludes burying it then get creative. I doubt there's much that'll get past that.

12:32 / 05.06.05

No, you definitely don't want to get aggressive. Be diplomatic in your magic. I had some trouble with my neighbours, and it was tempting to cook up a curse or something, but let's face it, that's not really the way to go.
The problem was that my erratic sleep cycles was disturbing them, so instead I got the idea of making a spell to make them sleep deeply and not be disturbed by my nightly activities. I haven't had any problems since.

Maybe you could make some sort of container to absorb the potential negative energy and when the party is over, take it to some remote place and bury it.
If you want something more permanent, maybe some sort of mirror to just throw back whatever they're sending.

16:01 / 05.06.05

Maybe you could just ask him to point it somewhere else? Down, maybe?

Tryphena Absent

16:15 / 05.06.05

I don't think negative energy is being dispelled towards the place, this person sounds like a pretty standard wiccan, I think they're invoking through the compass point and dragging things around in the process. Guess we'll find out though!

All Acting Regiment

18:47 / 05.06.05

This might be bloody obvious, but what's wrong with knocking on the door with a smile and telling him nicely what the problem is? And then asking him to stop? Do you really have such a bad relationship that that's impossible?

20:27 / 05.06.05

Well at this point there is no relationship. Last year my old flatmate went to have a word with the neighbour during her ritual ( quite drunk in the garden, we thought the house was on fire, when it turned out it was only the neighbour's cauldron ) and got fairly short shrift. So I've never met the woman personally, but according to my pal she's a bit of a Scary Mary Starey type, and thus possibly liable to cut up rough if approached in any way whatsoever. I'd just rather not risk it.

21:53 / 05.06.05

Maybe you need an object to attract and store the energy that's been sent through, then just banish it a day or two later.

02:13 / 06.06.05

Cheers, JF ! But that'd be a bit like asking the Silver Surfer out for a beer and a fox-hunt, I fear.

11:40 / 06.06.05

Haha, sorry I can't really help more. I've not tried anything like that before so I can't really think of a way that might be best for you. If I was in the same situ though I'd put an object next to the wall that joins your house with next-doors, then put up an energy field right along the wall with a vortex that re-directs any energy that passes through into the object, then just transmute the energy at the end and banish the field.

Buuut, that might be way too much fucking around for you and I don't really know word spells, I'm better at just doing it without many words, hence the lack of advice. Hopefully someone will be able to tell you an easier way.

13:26 / 06.06.05

Seth's suggestion is the way to go. It's called a witch bottle. Good old english hoodoo.

21:56 / 08.06.05

Just arrived back from Ikea with jars, mirror tiles and plant pots (no garden, but I do have a balcony). Couldn't find nails anywhere, I guess their kit furniture philosophy precludes stocking any useful DIY stuff.

Ikea's missing a trick. They should sell prepackaged kits with instructions.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

00:38 / 09.06.05

1)Smash mirror and place shards in glass jar as per fig a.
2)Take nails and place in jar (fig b). Shake well.
3)Add crap to taste. Screw on lid TIGHTLY.

Tryphena Absent

01:30 / 09.06.05

Take your hoodoo away and stick it up your...

Okay here's what I think you should do, 7 dandelions crushed around the base of the walls of the house. Then scatter marbles or something that rhymes like Marvels around the corners of the room all the while chanting the Latin names of your favourite perennials thus the garden plants will rise up and protect you from the evil spirits of person-across-the-way like superheroes on speed. All bow to the power of nature.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

02:54 / 09.06.05

If you're allergic to jars of nails and shit, I might mention a good old hagstone. This would be a stone with a natural hole through it--not a drilled hole, it has to happen naturally. You bung it on a bit of red thread, natural fibres please, in contact with a bit of iron (cold iron). I'd go with an old key for the iron, but that's just because I dig old keys.

Can't remember where I learnt that one, so it might be an actual Old Thing.

10:09 / 09.06.05

Ikea's missing a trick

Would that work though ? Does the 'active ingredient' have to be specifically anyone's, or could it be mass-produced ? Basically, could I just give the man who stands outside the Co-Op a couple of beers and a jam jar ( with strict instructions as regards sealing the thing, ) and proceed from there ? Or would that be a bit lame ?

10:25 / 09.06.05

Wouldn't work. You need a physical sympathetic link to you, as the purpose of the jar is to act as a decoy to attract any messy gear towards it, rather than you, and then send it back. Urine is actually more common in witch bottles than shit.

Although, thinking about it a bit more, the witch bottle is generally more about sending back nasty stuff that people may be putting on you, rather than protecting against the fall out of a neighbours magic - although it would still work. I'll PM you something else if you like though.

10:57 / 09.06.05

Out of interest, does anyone know the history of these witch bottles? Sounds intriguing, how're they supposed to work?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

11:27 / 09.06.05

The mirror-shards reflect the bad stuff back. The nails hurt the sender. (Pins, bent ones, are also used.) The excrement (and GL is right, pee is more traditional than poo) creates a sympathetic link--it's a decoy, a bit of "you" that draws the fire. Just like sticking a pair of your old shoes in the thatch...

From one Evil Scientist to another, welcome to the Temple.

21:48 / 09.06.05

Would that work though ? Does the 'active ingredient' have to be specifically anyone's, or could it be mass-produced?

I was thinking along the lines of those rubbish fajita dinner kits that somehow only ever amount to tortillas, salsa and some fajita sauce.

You always have to provide your own cheese.

Unconditional Love

04:57 / 10.06.05

bath in salt water around the time, sea salt if possible,over the whole week, usually does the trick for me.

16:32 / 27.05.06

I'm not sure to what extent I believe in this stuff, but it's that time of year, again. The fridge door's fallen off, the bathtub seems aggressive, and bad luck in general is the order of the day - it looks like the neighbour's been up to the usual.

This will be the third year of this, but it should be the last - How do I go about siccing the great god Pan, or related (someone heavy, and I will take the consequences,) on the house opposite? I should stress that I don't want anything bad to happen to the neighbour, but, on the other hand, enough is enough. Her annual ritual (Pajo, I guess?)seems to have consequences, and they're a drag, basically.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

16:35 / 27.05.06

Alex, what did you actually do about this last year? Maybe if you gave us an outline of the action you took then, we could help you fill in any gaps.

Y'know, fridges do just break. It happens.

17:06 / 27.05.06

ewww. Yes, shit happens, but the timing *is* a bit suspicious...

The witch-bottle sounds like a good idea at this point - reflection and pointy things - but it also sounds like you need a general cleansing and warding to take care of what's already landed in your space.

Bells and noisemakers to wake up all the crap, a white candle to disperse the shadows, incense to draw in sweet things/ seal the boundaries... (And if it was me, I'd be tempted to do the noisemaking at dawn and point it in her direction. But that's just me...)

Unconditional Love

17:10 / 27.05.06

AS a note to the mirror and nails ingredients, polished razor blades cover both at the same time. Something i have used recently rather effectively, along with dressing razor blades in various oils.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

17:26 / 27.05.06

You could get one of those really pretty mirrors with a nice frame and hang it somewhere it points towards your neighbour's house. That way, even if this whole thing is a product of your gin-induced paranoia, you've still got a nice mirror.

17:43 / 27.05.06

I know, I know, Darque Lorde. There's a definite possibility that I'm just being paranoid - I'm really in two minds about this stuff in the first place, and I can't rule out the idea that around about the summer solstice I tend to find myself in the pub a bit more, and hence start *noticing things* that I might otherwise not have done. I'm inclined to be sceptical about my own theory, then - frankly, it does seem ridiculous, but on the other hand, my old flatmate, who was quite the unbullshitting occultist, who'd see ghosts and so on (thank God I can't do that,) used to talk about the wave of neg energy that would show up round here at this time of year.

It seems, and I could pretty clearly just be talking nonsense, as if the neighbour opposite annually unloads her psychic junk in this general direction - that she performs a ritual is not in doubt, so ... well anyway, what I did last year was a spell-type-thingy that GL was kind enough to send me via PM, and it did seem to work, there was a definite sense of a dark cloud lifting. So I could do that again, I suppose. It's just I'd rather not have to, every feelthy steenking year. Apart from the occasional strange post in the Temple, and an armchair admiration for A Crowley, teh magick isn't something I like to think about too much - all sorts of intelligent and sensitive characters, whose opinions I respect, do, but it's only around about the early summer that it ever crops up, personally.

I'd be happy enough to put all this down to nerves or whatever (that, after all, being what it's probably to do with, and to a certain extent, I'm not sure if I mean any of this,) but it's nevertheless the same thing each year - Her in the house opposite does her cauldron ritual, and then, look out everyone!

I only whine on about this because it seems very real.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

17:56 / 27.05.06

Ah, I'm just joshing with ya. You've never seemed like the twitchy, they're-all-out-to-curse me kind.

I don't do a lot of protecty-sheildy stuff myself--I find it puts me into a defencive kind of mindset. I start closing every thing off too tightly, shutting out things that might be uncomfortable but useful. I just do a few small things now and again if I feel the need.

However, if your theory is corect and what you're dealing with is fallout from whatever this neighbour is up to, then it may be that you'll have to renew the work once a year. Like maintenence. Weatherproofing or something.

18:39 / 27.05.06

I would suggest going directly to the source. Usually if you have a good chat with the person's Patrons, They will have a word on your behalf.

Sorta like pulling rank when the kid next door keeps dropping butts on your lawn. Sure you can try to work with the kid, but like your neighbor, sometimes people don't want to listen.

Pushing the energy around is going to require more energy than going to the source.

It's okay if you don't have any idea what ScaryMary believes in or Who she talks to.

Make a ritual meal. Just make something you think is pretty kickass, the dinner you would make to impress. Don't forget to include booze. Sounds like you have a yard adjoining hers?
Discretely set the meal out as close to her property as you can without drawing her attention.
Make a good presentation of it. Have your adult reasonable conversation but direct your comments to Whomever Owns ScaryMary. Really focus on it as if she was a child, how you would productively address her parents. Bit of flattery, good neighborly banter, and a reasonable request like "I would really appreciate it if you could educate ScaryMary on a better way of dealing with her off cast negativity. It would really be better for all of us. Thanks. More Chocolate Cake?"

If you don't feel comfortable taking this role, you could ask one of your ancestral dead to do it for you. Same procedure but in this case you would be asking your people to go talk to her people.

This may mean every year you have to leave chocolate/booze out as a polite token of appreciation.

Going to war with a dumbass is a waste of energy. Let her Mystical Whatevers wrangle her ass.

19:03 / 27.05.06

I'm available for a consultation if you like. PM me.

19:16 / 27.05.06

Easiest way, off course, is the age old hoodoo method of just having a polite respectful conversation with your neighbour about it and seeing what she says. Buy her a present.

19:24 / 27.05.06

I don't think it's necessarily a given that this lady was even doing a cleansing banishing operation in the first place. A more likely scenario is that she just does her little Wiccan solstice rite in the garden each year - and you get paranoid and create a big occult drama around it, thereby attracting bad luck and negativity to you like a magnet. I'm not yet sufficiently convinced the witch has anything to do with it really.

Talk to her. She might have given your pissed up flatmate short shrift - but y'know - if some pissed up geezer interupted me in the middle of doing something, I might be a bit put out myself.

19:48 / 27.05.06

That way, even if this whole thing is a product of your gin-induced paranoia, you've still got a nice mirror.

I missed this earlier.

Listen, Darque Lorde, just because you as a sorceror may very well be able to face down the dark forces that lurk around on the edges of life without a couple of drinks inside you, it doesn't mean I can. I am a very old woman. Who does need her gin, if she's going to have to go all 'Dr Strange' on the world's ass, again.

21:30 / 27.05.06

And now even the telly doesn't look to work any more. I do understand that I must seem like an 'Alf Garnett' style of character, but this is all really terribly depressing.

11:05 / 28.05.06

I'm still not convinced that this isn't some bizarre "witch hysteria" head trip that you get caught up in every year for some reason. Your neighbour could have bugger all to do with it really. All of the phenomena you seem to be getting could easily be created by all of the power you have invested in the belief that you will have a run of bad luck around this time each year. Either way, you probably are complicit in this to a larger extent than you realise.

None of which clever observations do anything to solve the problem. Some of the suggestions people have made above are a bit problematic simply because they reinforce your belief in a magical narrative that might not necessarily be happening. I'm not saying that your bad luck phenomena (fridge door falling off, telly breaking, etc..) is not real, but that the story you've weaved around it might well be skewed to a large extent.

If you wanted I could mix you up a "banish bad luck" incense that you can burn around your flat around this time each year to sort the problem. It doesn't really matter whether the bad luck has landed on your doorstep because of your neighbour, or if it's something that you are unwittingly generating yourself. It will just lift the problem, whatever it's source. Might be a better option than something that operates from a raft of assumptions about what your witchy neighbour may or may not be doing.

You will have to repeat this incense burning routine every year, or whenever you feel it's needed. But it's just burning some incense, you don't have to put on an ill-fitting Eye of Agamotto, paint grey stripes in your sideburns and call on the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth (great name for a band...) to make it work.

More than happy to cook something like that up for you, but I will have to charge you for time and materials - cos time I spend chasing around town looking for obscure herbs, wearing the Eye of Agamotto on your behalf, etc.. is time that I'm not spending getting down to some writing.

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