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Barbestereotypes

 
  

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Cherielabombe
20:27 / 02.05.05
Barbelith, I love you, and sometimes you make me laugh really hard.

Was just musing about Barbestereotypes. This is not a dig on anyone - reallY! More a "composite" (to borrow the word from the wonderful film 'Metropolitan') based on my years of Barbexperience.

1. Barbeloid in love with someone who has a girlfriend/boyfriend but enjoys the attention the Barbeloid gives them.

2. Barbeloid ready to wake up the sheeple with new information on life. "Have you ever heard of a guy named Noam Chomsky?" or similar opening line.

3. Barbeloid who has just finished reading the Invisibles. Recognizable by repeated reference to the godlike powers of Grant Morrisson

4. Barbeloid from Greenland. Recognizable by cryptic posts about impending disaster, links to various conspiracy theorist websites and habitual Ganesh goading.

5. Jaded Barbeloid who's "seen/discussed/done it all
before." Recognizable by their creation of threads just like this one.

6. "I'm leaving Barbelith" Barbeloid. Recognizable by their return 3 days later.

So, any more barbestereotypes you can add? This may be dangerous, so tread carefully.. I should add that I too have been the Barbeclassic Stereotype, being in love with someone who has a boyfriend/girlfriend, and I'm probably currently Ms. Jaded Barbelith, and I've also fulfilled at least 3 of the other Barbestereotypes on the list. Maybe I'll start a thread called "Is Barbelith Dying?" to be another one..
 
 
agvvv
20:43 / 02.05.05
Well, I might as well have a go at myself

7. The drunk and more than slightly stupid Barbeloid, recognised by endless complaining in various Lateshift threads to the point where its just kinda sad and/or funny.
 
 
Grey Area
20:45 / 02.05.05
7. Possessed/Enlightened Barbeloid. Individual who believes themselves possessed by another entity, usually something with a name involving consonants and not much else, or endowed with divine revelation on a particular subject. Regardless of the source, this individual believes they must hold forth at length on a random, correction, divinely inspired subject.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
22:15 / 02.05.05
Greenland references are soo last epoch, Cherie.

8) Barbasshole. You know who you are.

I think pinstripe fictionsuit was working on a Barbelith personality quiz at one point.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
22:20 / 02.05.05
In the Creation.
 
 
eddie thirteen
01:31 / 03.05.05
I tend to ramble, but I'm not possessed or anything. I...don't think I am, anyway. I would hope that an entity that went to the trouble of taking control of my body would have something more ambitious in mind than writing 5000-word posts about comic books. Fuck, I wish *I* had something more ambitious in mind than writing 5000-word posts about comic books.
 
 
penitentvandal
07:05 / 03.05.05
Barbepedant. Barbeloid who will argue with people about anything at all, however minor, often picking on tiny or apparently inconsequential parts of the other's argument and harping on these to such a hyper-rational extent that the other eventually leaves the thread, after a long and bitter post to the effect that thats is not what they said at all, and it it impossible to argue with said barbepedant because they just don't get it, aaaaargh!
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
07:25 / 03.05.05
Barbebore: Barbeperson who Barbeputs 'Barbe' in Barbefront of Barbeverything.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
08:39 / 03.05.05
This thread's gonna get nasty...
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
09:14 / 03.05.05
Shut the fuck up.
 
 
Ganesh
09:53 / 03.05.05
The PCGM Counter-Strike Force, often closely allied with the Anti-Overanalysis Movement. Why do we feel the need to overanalyse everything to such a PC degree? What's actually wrong with being sexy?

In similar vein, there's the stoutly yeomanlike Barbeloid of the People, that confident barometer of the (Common) Man on the Street, a bulwark of common sense against the fancypants "rhetoric" employed by so many of the "Barbelith royalty" to win arguments here. Who needs lah-dee-dah "evidence" when one can simply point to what's self-evident? With one's melee weapon?
 
 
Seth
10:51 / 03.05.05
How about BarbeLionelHutz: a member of Barbelith who doesn't know the meaning of the word evidence.
 
 
Triplets
12:28 / 03.05.05
This thread's gonna get nasty...



FLAME ON!
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:30 / 03.05.05
BarbeRodneyKing- Barbeloid who's terrified of getting into arguments with anyone, and wishes everyone could just, y'know, get along. Is, however, secretly addicted to reading argument threads cos they're the best soap since Sunset Beach finished.

(see, I DO have a teensy bit of self-awareness...)
 
 
Sekhmet
12:39 / 03.05.05
Barbewuss - hard to spot, but secretly writes about three times as much as is ever actually seen on the board...

(* nervously hits "post reply" *)
 
 
Sax
13:07 / 03.05.05
Barbesyrup - poster who you suspect is wearing a wig while posting

Barbecrapper - poster who you suspect is posting while sitting on the toilet

Barbetart - poster who you suspect is posting while wearing a big glace cherry on the top of their head
 
 
Mazarine
14:38 / 03.05.05
Barbenoid- One who assumes instantly that any one of these stereotypes is a reference to hir personally and exclusively.
 
 
Triplets
14:57 / 03.05.05
Barbe-ka: The Barbeloid who (allegedly) has mastered five different martial arts, and is "right tasty" in a fight.
 
 
Triplets
14:59 / 03.05.05
Barbevestite: The one that wears the opposite gendered 'suit. *cough* *smoothes out skirt*
 
 
charrellz
15:11 / 03.05.05
Barbewuss - hard to spot, but secretly writes about three times as much as is ever actually seen on the board...
Doesn't exist. And I'm certainly not one of them. Nope. Not at all.

Barbedunce - That one guy who never quite gets it when you're taking the piss. You know who you are, and I know where you live.

Barbe-me - Always tries but never manages to be funny.

Barb-emo - Feels the need to self-deprecate with every post.
 
 
Jack Denfeld
15:12 / 03.05.05
Barbefeld= JACK DENFELD BABY, JACK FUCKIN' DENFELD!!
 
 
unheimlich manoeuvre
15:30 / 03.05.05
BarbeWatchers - Secret Masters who are listed as Moderators yet never post.
 
 
Cherielabombe
16:07 / 03.05.05
BarbeWatchers - Secret Masters who are listed as Moderators yet never post.

Kneel before Zod!!
 
 
Psych Safeling
16:18 / 03.05.05
Barbegeek - alerts you to the myriad possibilities of the wireless connection.

[Barbecrapping had never even occurred to me.]

Post-modern Barb - references Barbelith in every thread, if not every post.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
18:54 / 03.05.05
inchoc, the secret masters of Barbelith are something else entirely--they're the ones who shape Barbediscourse without anyone noticing. You'd be surprised.

Francis, I've been having a lot of trouble with my wireless connection. Can you help me?
 
 
Olulabelle
21:45 / 03.05.05
BarbePapa - Long term poster who sticks up for newbies and instead of flagellating them when they're making an idiot of themself in the headshop just gently reminds them about the thread-search function and the wiki pages.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
22:22 / 03.05.05
Barbe-CNN's Crossfire guest: (not a very clever name, I apologize) A barbeloid who assumes all posters have had the same experiences they have had, and therefore should be forming the same opinions as themselves regarding politics, women's reproductive rights, race and culture issues, types of pie, citrus fruits in general and tangerines specifically, etc. If this is not the case, then one might hear them noting (often sarcastically, or in an oblique fashion) that they cannot believe the number fools they are made to suffer.

Maybe we ought to start getting more specific with these. Already, I'm in three or four categories.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
22:26 / 03.05.05
Five if you count the one about posting while on the crapper. It's my own laptop, and dammit, that's what they're for.
 
 
ibis the being
22:35 / 03.05.05
Barbenoid- One who assumes instantly that any one of these stereotypes is a reference to hir personally and exclusively.

That's me, right?

(I can't believe I'm the first one to make that crack.)
 
 
Jack Denfeld
11:48 / 04.05.05
Barbafluxcapacitor
A barbelith person who drives a Delorean and travels through time.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
13:20 / 04.05.05
Barbe-journalist - uses their livejournal to bitch about barbe-events.
 
 
Benny the Ball
15:36 / 04.05.05
Barbe-barbe-barbe-barbe bar ba ran - poster who has Beach Boy themed adventures.
 
 
charrellz
17:36 / 04.05.05
barbebarian - either aided in sacking Rome, or works in a library

barbebara - member of the 'lith and is named Barbara

bbbbbbarbebbb - has a sticky 'bb' key and is starting to get pretty pissed off bbby it, especially when trying to write essays for his psychology class about rehabbilitation vs. punishment. Urgh.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:38 / 04.05.05
Possessed/Enlightened Barbeloid.

Shut up. I hate you.

Barbenoid

I hate you, too.
 
 
Papess
20:44 / 04.05.05
BarbeRosa: The most hated person on Barbelith (Think: Omerosa)

Or alternatively: One who watches Bonanza reruns while posting on Barbelith, or perhaps bears a ficsuit named after one of the characters.
 
  

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