I didn't refer to Lovecraft as a role model, merely used him as an example. Certainly in some ways he was a social reject but I think his writing, which was almost his very existence (or reason to exist) made up for that particular defect.
Z. deScathach, I understand what you mean by pain bringing one to levels of despair. Generally I'm of sound mind but sometimes my body goes into horrific spells that drive me to borderline insanity (I never ever have thoughts of suicide unless my body is acting up or my health is poor... I assume you can understand this, what with your comments on "checking out"). Unlike you, however, I can't quite say if it's magic that keeps me going... In my case I'd have to say it's my love of creativity, art, writing, and so on that prevents me from offing myself (that and the fact that if I would ever kill myself it would hurt the feelings of a lot of people close to me, and that seems like a selfish thing to do). Of course, you could say that creativity is the highest form of magic (indeed, *cough*ALEISTER CROWLEY*cough* thought the artist to be superior to the magician) so I guess you could say, in that regards, that magic is what keeps me going.
Anyway, it's good you can see the positive side of things, even in the mundane. I'm more of the Camus-existential-nihilism school of mind, however, so it's not as easy for me. Certainly one can sense inherent beauty in nature, trees, the ocean, what not, but I fail to see the use in recognizing such a thing in the most rote activities. Then again, everyone has their own opinions on what magic is or isn't, and it's a complicated subject anyway, so... My obsesions among other things include computers, technology, electronic music, electronics in general, video games, computer programming, and things along those lines, so it's no surprise I incorporate so much of that into my magical system.
Personally I can usually find transcendence when I'm reading a great book or creating music or stories. It's the closest I can come to a higher state, outside of meditation. But when I sit down to type and the images come to me and the words flow and the characters come to life, to me that's magic and when I feel the most alive. I tend to view my characters as spirits that I somehow have tapped into, and I respect my relationships with them (a few of which have assumed totem status... One in particular I employ to help ailing friends or relatives. He's quite effective). |
