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Things not to say at interview

 
  

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Squirmelia
11:07 / 17.05.06
A few years ago, after an interview, I made this list:

1. UFOs
2. Dead squirrels
3. Poems
4. Army training
5. Skateboards

Looking back on that list now, I feel like I must have been a well-rounded person then and obviously they should have employed me.
 
 
adamswish
11:26 / 17.05.06
A couple of months ago I had a job interview with the police force (web stuff, no uniforms involved) and got asked a few tricky questions:

"What is the role of the west midlands police force?"

I said something along the lines of up-holding the legislation of the land in the west midlands area. Then the head of IT started chucking in programme and technical words and just after I told him the difference between an applet and application he asked what "java Beans" were. COmpletely stumped I turned round and said "Something to do with coffee" Fortunately I was right as the bastard was trying to trip me up.

Didn't get the job by the way.
 
 
The Natural Way
12:56 / 17.05.06
How you would eat yr words if you knew the person concerned, Jub.

Quants understands.

Anyway, out of a great many people, he got the job.
 
 
Jub
13:52 / 17.05.06
fair enough punce. Sometimes I suppose it must be true for some people. Just sounds like a horrid cliche to my tired ears.

tbf - I can't imagine anyone who conducts interviews often not taking your mate to task for saying something so formulaic, let alone giving him the job.
 
 
Ex
14:06 / 17.05.06
At last week's interview I asked them what projects I'd be supporting.
When I really wanted to ask: 'What is the company's position on stupid hair - both style and colour? What would you, as my line manager, do if I turned up next week with blue hair? Would you make me pretend it was a chemical accident, or a stunt for charity?'
 
 
Spyder Todd 2008
16:18 / 17.05.06
I was interviewed for a promotion to another department last week where it was pretty obvious someone else was going to get it (they've been with the company 5 years, I'm almost at 1). So I figured, what the hell, I'll be honest with them. So, when asked why I wanted the position, I told them I was looking for advancement (which was I nice way of saying I wanted more money). Then at the end of the interview I was told the position was going to be a lateral move for whoever got it. Oy. I didn't get it, but hell, at least I'm not not making more money in a different position, right?
 
 
Tom Paine's Bones
21:00 / 17.05.06
You don't have a union here? Ah well, I can always set one up if I get the job.
 
 
rising and revolving
21:06 / 17.05.06
Then the head of IT started chucking in programme and technical words and just after I told him the difference between an applet and application he asked what "java Beans" were. COmpletely stumped I turned round and said "Something to do with coffee" Fortunately I was right as the bastard was trying to trip me up.

Maybe not.
 
 
Korso Jerusalem
21:33 / 17.05.06
I went to my first job interview when I was 14, after having finished an entire bottle of brandy in school. I fell out of the chair twice and politely asked the manager to quit moving his hands so much, and somehow I landed the job.
 
 
Jub
06:59 / 18.05.06
Kinel. What job was that Phallicus?
 
 
Korso Jerusalem
09:02 / 18.05.06
Grocery store. Not a very disciminating employer to begin with.
 
 
William Sack
09:16 / 18.05.06
Not so much what not to say, but doing armpit farts generally doesn't impress as much as you'd think it might.
 
 
trouble at bill
16:02 / 26.05.06
Not so much what not to say, as what not to do immediately before interview while waiting in the corridor outside the room. Which is to launch an athletic, aesthetic and apparently quite lethal martial arts type attack against invisible assailants with your back to the door of the room in which you're about to be interviewed. Because when that door opens, all your interviewers are going to see is you, all suited and booted, kicking, punching and chopping about in an office corridor. And you'll look like a major fucking nutjob, believe me. I'm not disputing that martial arts routines are a good way to psyche up before an interview, but the level of embarrassment that all parties concerned will feel when this sort of thing occurs is almost unbearable, and will certainly make the interview itself very difficult. Also, try not to attempt to sell home-made jewellery to the people interviewing you. (These top interview tips were gained during university interviewing sessions btw, but should apply in all interview situations except those involving jobs as martial artists or jewellery-makers.)
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
16:15 / 26.05.06
"What would you say is your biggest flaw?"

"I'm indecisive" and then just trail off.
 
 
petunia
16:26 / 26.05.06
"What would you say is your biggest flaw?"

"Hmm, probably the lounge. Yeah, that's got the most floorspace"

OR

"Applying for poorly paid jobs I have no interest in and intend to leave within a month"

OR

"My nose"
 
 
All Acting Regiment
16:40 / 26.05.06
Emoticons on a CV?

No. Silly, silly Legba's Friend...
 
 
MattShepherd: I WEDDED KALI!
18:47 / 26.05.06
I was up for a reporter job at Global Television (cross-Canada network) a few years back, and my "biggest flaw" answer was "I hate television news."

This was followed by a blank stare and an eventual "...why are you here?," to which I replied "I figure if I hate television news so much, I should do something to change it."

Apparently, they thought television news was pretty much okay as is.

Next time I will try subterfuge.
 
 
julius has no imagination
19:16 / 26.05.06
"Nipples"
 
 
kidninjah
12:05 / 23.06.06
I told a recent interviewer that I couldn't understand why the company's product existed.

I've been here nearly a year now ;-)
 
  

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