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Underground > Art, Fashion & Design >

The Brassiere

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20:03 / 13.02.05

I for one can't fucking stand them. I used to be the type of girl who was small enough to get away with not wearing one at all, but am no longer so fortunate. I own bras in nearly every size, from 34B to 36D, and not a one fits me correctly. When I really just can't take it anymore, I'll just go with the far more comfortable shelf-bra tank, but they're inferior from fashion and sex appeal standpoints, reducing me to that sort of horizontal uni-boob shape.

I even went for a bra fitting recently, but the Brassiere Gods continued to laugh at me by sticking me with an newbie who stammered, "This is my first time," and was too shy and embarrassed to even tell me my true size. But perhaps my dream of finding "the right size" is merely a fantasy.

I'm afraid the awful truth is that bras ARE pure unmitigated torture, and due to my late blooming I'm just the last to know. Has any woman on Barbelith found the mythical Comfortable and Attractive Brassiere?

Tryphena Absent

09:31 / 17.02.05

Most of the time they don't bother me but I hate buying them (*everyone* is magically between sizes, could they not regulate the industry just a little?) and when I feel fidgety they are astoundingly annoying.

Necessary instrument of Satan?

11:35 / 17.02.05

Has any woman on Barbelith found the mythical Comfortable and Attractive Brassiere?

Yes! And though I hate to say it they come from Gap -although it's one of their tshirt bras, so it's more 'looking quite nice' attractive than 'lace & c' attractive. I've actually forgotten what they are called because I bought mine on holiday a couple of years ago. I think the name was 'Ultimate Plunge' or something similarly subtle. Anyway, although that's only minimally helpful it might be worth looking in Gap for comfortable bras next time you're trying to find one...

15:42 / 18.02.05

While not particularly buxom, I consider them a godsend. It's more psychological than anything -- they feel like armor to me.

22:12 / 18.02.05

Vincennes, thank you! I'm way past even caring about attractiveness anymore... I've give up a tooth for just one bra that isn't a constant irritation. And then I'd buy 100 more of the same.

I confess I'm dismayed to hear that indeed there are Barbelith women who've found comfortable bras - even (gasp) enjoy wearing them... I'm forced to conclude that bras are not instruments of Satan, but in fact I am some kind of freak. I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps it's the slope of my shoulders that's the main problem. I spend half the day pulling the straps up.

00:03 / 19.02.05

No no! You're not a freak by any means! I'm sure I'm quite in the minority in actually liking them. It truly is a fetishistic, psychological thing, I assure you. Be at peace!

Lilly Nowhere Late

05:42 / 28.02.05

Ibis you should definitely get yourself to a proper bra fitting session. A well trained fitter will not only be able to determine your size but will tell you which brands and styles will work best for your body. Bras should be fun. They should be armour and they should make you feel super about yourself. I think they were probably invented to make women look like boys to either make men less distracted or more so, depending on how you think of it, but now they are one of the simplest pleasures of being female. I lived a long time with oppresive bust issues but finally discovered proper fittings and now, well, my bras are my friends.
Stoke Newington has one of the most sympathetic and skilled bra fitters of all time called Roseanne at Rosa's Lingerie(the oldest shop on Church Street) but if you're elsewhere, you'll have to research and don't settle for the first dayer. These things take experience. Try your area's best department store and ring first to make an appointment and demand to have the most experienced person there. You should leave a fitting feeling educated not just sized. The information you gleen should help you find bras in all styles and from wherever you shop. Good luck!

17:14 / 03.03.05

Lilly, you are right. My biggest obstacle is that I really hate to shop. I suppose I shouldn't blame the bra, since come to think of it my entire clothing experience in life consists of shopping in spurts, in a state of extreme duress, then wearing several ill-fitting items a few times before whittling my wardrobe down to the things that actually fit, wearing them out, & repeat process. I don't take my time, and I frequently run out of stores with so-so purchases because the thought of buying nothing and having to go clothes shopping AGAIN sends me into a panic. The right bra just happens to be the most difficult thing to find.

It's sad really, because I enjoy wearing cute panties, and I'd like to have the same affinity for the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder if at all possible.

It so happens that I'm temping a couple of blocks away from Church St. Tomorrow is my last day, so perhaps I'll pop into Rosa's (never been) on my lunch break.

17:18 / 03.03.05

Oh, oops, missed the "Stoke Newington" and jumped to the conclusion that you read my profile & knew my location, oh well.

Lilly Nowhere Late

18:03 / 06.03.05

oops, sorry, it never occurrs to me to read profiles as I forget that people on here(barbelith) actually exist somewhere in real life too.
I'm sure you must have a major, upscale department store in Boston which will do professional fittings. Don't be put off by prices as most bra prices are kind of universal no matter where you get them from. Obviously, K-mart(evil) will charge less than Neiman Marcus(even more evil) but good bras which fit cannot be found at K-mart anyhoos. Plus, once you get the real low down on how to fit, you prolly could find impractical cheap ones that are just for home/fun/sex. Imagine if your panty love becomes bra n' knickers love!
I do sympathize with you on the whole of the shopping fiasco. I hate it and can't wait until I can afford to just get someone to do it for me and tell me what to wear. So believe me when I say that the fitting bit comes from hard won experience.

18:57 / 07.03.05

Just thought I'd add, I actually had a dream about begging a salesgirl for a proper bra fitting while she mumbled, "ah, just look through the pile." Next day I told my boyfriend about the dream and he cried, "Bra fitting! You're...[ogle ogle]... a 34C, what's the big deal." In vain I tried to explain that if it were as simple as eyeballing my tits I would have found a bra by now. Silly man, he thinks he's an expert on boobs because he's seen a lot of pornos or something. Sigh....

Lilly Nowhere Late

04:56 / 09.03.05

It's very sweet though. Isn't 34C the ideal size for most men? Of course he'll be too smug if you come back from a fitting with a prescription for just that size. Or perhaps he has a secret life as a bra fitter? Secret life as a bra wearer?

15:55 / 09.03.05

I hate bra shopping; it's thoroughly depressing if you're outside the 34A-D box which most shops seem to employ as normality. Though I'm sure most women I know aren't in it. But the bras themselves, I have no problem with once I find them, which is only slightly soul destroying.

13:55 / 11.03.05

Ibis I think it's so important to go and be measured. It will change how you feel completely, I am sure. You're not supposed to be aware of your bra if it fits correctly, and although occasionally at the end of the day the underwire starts to hurt my ribs, mostly I don't think about wearing mine.

I used to hate shopping for bras because they never ever had my size (32 DD) in anything other than hideous granny bras, which is not what you want when you're in your early 20's and feeling groovy. So I had only a few good bras (Rigby and Peller) that were a bit pretty and then I got pregnant. When you get pregnant your ribs spread to accomodate the baby, and sometimes they don't go back. Mine didn't and I went up to a 36 DD, so I had to throw away all my expensive but pretty bras and start again.

Most shops still don't go above a D cup, although M&S now have a few colourful and pretty ones. It's so depressing. You can forget any shop like The Gap, or fashion outlets, I have to buy bras from department stores or specialist underwear shops.

Most of the time I don't mind wearing them but that's because they fit properly. I bought a bra without trying it on a little while ago and it was agony, the underwires came up too high and it was just wrong, wrong, wrong.

I do wish I had smaller breasts that sat prettily in balcony bras instead of big ones that need full support, but as full support is needed I have to say bras are a necessary evil. I'm sure I've said this before, but if I hadn't constantly worn such well fitting ones I would probably be able to tuck my nipples in my knickers by now.

Tryphena Absent

14:20 / 11.03.05

You can forget any shop like The Gap, or fashion outlets, I have to buy bras from department stores or specialist underwear shops

I don't know anyone who buys underwear from fashion outlets. If you do, please reveal yourself!

it's thoroughly depressing if you're outside the 34A-D box

And don't delude yourself bop, just because you're in that box doesn't mean that the bra that's supposedly your size is going to fit you. And who isn't between sizes (apparently, yeah right)?

The grass is always greener on the other side but this magical woman who finds bras easy to buy... she doesn't exist.

18:10 / 11.03.05

Or perhaps he has a secret life as a bra fitter?

Ooh, doesn't he wish?

I'm sure I've said this before, but if I hadn't constantly worn such well fitting ones I would probably be able to tuck my nipples in my knickers by now.

This is what I'm afraid of.

And who isn't between sizes (apparently, yeah right)?

I'm pretty sure my problem is that I'm a 35 C-and-a-half.

23:25 / 11.03.05

It's all part of the conspiracy that is the female fashion industry.

I am either size 11 or size 13 depending on the time of year, have size 4 and a half feet, and would probably best fit a 35 DD bra. I don't consider myself abnormal, yet not one of my sizes is 'normal'.

They do it to make us feel bad about ourselves. They do, they do.

Lilly Nowhere Late

05:54 / 12.03.05

Being retailers, and interested in taking our money, wouldn't it make more sense to make our sizes work so that we'd buy more? I find this is the case in "better", read, more expensive brands. Recently went to a "secret designer" sale for ummmm, can't remember which designer- Sonia Rykiel maybe? - anyway, all the clothes fit beautifully in the size smaller than I normally take. It occurred to me that this was on purpose. I'm talking £600 summer skirts and silk dresses which seemed definitely vanity sized. One can just see Miss Rich going, "ooo, I love Sonia's couture, and the fit is spot on. She always makes me feel I've dropped a dress size overnight!" Clever marketing playing to the ego.
Why can't high street retailers meet them in the middle and just make sizes fit? And why o why have we(especially me) lost the art of sewing our own designs to bespoke measurement?
About that sale, I didn't buy anything in the end as I was put off by the snatching of my selections by aggressive women hell bent on getting a bargain. It was awfully uncivilized.

13:03 / 12.03.05

I don't know anyone who buys underwear from fashion outlets. If you do, please reveal yourself!

I tried once. The underwiring was sharpened to such an extent it shouldn't have been allowed on long-haul flights and it's just luck that I don't still bear the scars. (Exception, of course, being the Gap bras of which I am still a fan...)

18:38 / 12.03.05

It's all part of the conspiracy that is the female fashion industry.[...]They do it to make us feel bad about ourselves. They do, they do.

This reminds me... getting a little offtopic, but oh well... for a few months last year I worked nights & weekends in a maternity clothing store. A company started by a woman, mind you. Our store sold two lines - the mid-priced and the "high end," tailored, often designer pieces (carried maternity clothing by Diane Von Furstenburg, Lilly Pulitzer, Chaiken, Seven Jeans, etc).

The high end lines were TINY. We had to tell customers to go up a size. It's bad enough you're pregnant and feel huge, but now a size 8 woman has to buy size L and sometimes even that's a tight fit? Why? It seemed so cruel. But then, all too often we had women come in and complain that they were 7mo along and nothing was small enough for them, and I wanted to KILL them. Quit yer cryin lady.

10:28 / 14.03.05

Getting fitted doesn't always help. I changed size when I lost some weight and went to M&S for a fitting - the lady told me that I should be wearing the size I was already wearing, the one that didn't fit, and looked rather nonplussed when I pointed this out to her... I have ended up guessing quite a lot, but still can't seem to get it right all the time. The blasted things stretch so quickly! And the straps never stay at the right length.

Tryphena Absent

11:52 / 14.03.05

I've come to the conclusion that they just don't make bras in my size. I'm wearing the right size right now- 2 bras out of 7 tried on kind of fitted me- I don't care anymore as long as it doesn't hurt. I'm a different size during the curse anyway.

12:31 / 14.03.05

Well, lycanthropy can cause all sorts of shapechanges...

16:08 / 14.03.05

I used to know a guy who could always, accurately, guess a woman's bra size just by looking.

Goodness Gracious Meme

17:26 / 14.03.05

Bras are a mystery to me. I've never worn 'em, didn't even know my size until last year, when a friend dragged me into M&S.

After being press-ganged into submitting to a very nice M&S assistant I know now that I'm a 34D. Associate then got me to try on a balcony Wonderbra. Was astonished; tits were suddenly under my chin. Very odd.

I have a couple that I like, made by a local designer in 50s kitschy fabrics, but they're the bikini type so didn't have to get too technical.

Generally, I ignore em, they ignore me. It's for the best.

Lilly Nowhere Late

18:46 / 14.03.05

What about those bras that were around a little while back which one could inflate at will? Anyone? Come on...

I want this thread to go to two pages. So even though I'm about to be made homeless with a three year old child who keeps fainting and has leg pain, I'm just going to tune in and add to this thread from time to time. It's making me feel a bit more real than I already do.

So about the inflatable bras? What about the water ones?

Tryphena Absent

22:24 / 15.03.05

I don't really have anything to say but just for Lilly...

I find water bras really, really disturbing. They're great to prod when you're sick and tired of lingerie departments but the idea of wearing artificial sackfuls of liquid on your chest strikes me as extremely odd. Although written like that I think I've just realised where the idea came from... I really hope a woman thought them up.

10:30 / 16.03.05

They're great to prod when you're sick and tired of lingerie departments

Ultimately, this is what puts me off buying them -the fear of being busted (ha! not intended) having a surreptitious prod while wearing them.

Meme, I remember the feeling of amazement when trying a Wonderbra on for the first time too. I can't find one to fit me now, which is a bit disappointing -they seem to be made in a really odd shape, as all the sizes I ususally am don't work...

Tryphena Absent

15:00 / 16.03.05

"What are you doing!?"

"Oh, I'm just sitting here, having a squeeze."

Lilly Nowhere Late

05:15 / 17.03.05

boing boing boing boing...
With male obsession with moisture can you just imagine the thrill one of them would get if an unsuspected water bra sprung a leak during a particularly passionate session?
The mind boggles, or bubbles actually.

11:38 / 21.03.05

I once saw a man trying to surreptitiously film the lingerie department in M&S. It was quite bizarre; I mean, it seems so tame. But also very creepy -- fortunately someone spotted him and he got thrown out by a security guard.

23:20 / 21.03.05

I forget where, but somewhere online I read about someone's seeing a male sales associate at a Victoria's Secret, and how startling it was to see that. I suppose VS has to hire men to avoid discrimination lawsuits, but I wonder if customers complain? Or if they insist on keeping them behind the register? I don't think I'd be embarrassed to buy lingerie from a man, but I'm not sure, never having had to.

Lilly Nowhere Late

05:08 / 22.03.05

I've certainly been to VS and been served by a man. (That sounds entirely more interesting than it was) I didn't like it. If anything, the particular male salesperson was more judgemental than I reckon a salesperson should be. He was totally gay and disinterested in seeing me naked but I still wasn't that happy about it all. I wonder what motivates a man to want to work with lingerie? Apart from the more obvious pervy reasons. Further to that, I don't think men should work in the OB-GYN field at all either. But my husband often tells me I'm quite sexist.

10:59 / 22.03.05

Instrument of Satan...no not really but sales people of said garment? Oh yeah.

I have to admit to being on the larger end of the easily found range (D cup) but even then it's actually amazing how much shops vary in size for bras. In most shops I am a D yet in others I can be a C or E, I mean I honestly thought there were standard sizes for these things?

Anyone?

Tryphena Absent

12:39 / 22.03.05

I wouldn't mind being served by a man in a lingerie department. Perhaps he likes wearing it?

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