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20th Anniversary Optimus Prime

 
  

Page: 1(2)3

 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:21 / 20.01.05
I don't care anymore

Well, of course you don't, Gumbitch. Somebody has challenged your alpha-geek status, even if only by parodically scholastic reference to the Transformers. Your only option is either to claim the conversation is no longer worth having or tell them that there is something wrong with them. Or both. It is without a doubt the characteristic of yours I find least endearing, but it appears to have been working for you ever since I first encountered you, so I don't imagine you're going to abandon it now.

God, now I'm depressed.
 
 
_Boboss
15:31 / 20.01.05
how do you think i feel, my transformers are over there, and i'm here in my pram?

credit for not pointing out at the time that the fact they're androids doesn't make them not-alien though. your pedantry is your least appealing aspect, and i doubt you'll etc. sometimes it's best best to let these things go. it was never about being right or vindicating points haus.

i would say 'h******?' but i fear it would make me shit my nappy.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:38 / 20.01.05
it was never about being right or vindicating points haus.

It was, however, about me killing the fun and you not caring any more. I'm afraid I don't see a way that you slamming on the brakes in the middle of a perfectly good gag-academic discussion makes me either a pedant (unless by that you mean somebody who dares to correct you) or the bad guy. I simply don't understand why you do this, Gums. It's not as if you are without resource. You're not by all accounts a stupid person. Why this blind spot on dissent?
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
15:48 / 20.01.05

Haus


Gumbitch
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:49 / 20.01.05
That's beautiful. And quite shaming.
 
 
_Boboss
15:57 / 20.01.05
'It's not as if you are without resource. You're not by all accounts a stupid person. Why this blind spot on dissent?'

that's a little unfair, i don't ALWAYS do this, just quite a bit.

so: upset cos it kinda ruins my theory about harmful vs. non-harmful technologies and how much they deserve the planet's remaining resources (which i'd grown more attached to than is healthy, admittedly).

kinda feel bad about the decepticons otherwise, they all seem in need of help to have their trust and anger issues resolved, not just be humiliated by the boy-scouts at the end of every episode. megatron's ideology as i understand it (i think he was the decepticon's original idealogue, could be wrong), that they turn cybertron into a giant spaceship and go about mucking stuff up, seems as reasonable as any given the ambiguous biomechanical imperatives that being a transformer offers.

does it come down then, to teaching the kids to use available technologies responsibly? if so, why are the constructicons so relentlessly nasty and stupid? wheeljack isn't and he kinda does the same as them. what is the point of transformers? why the emphasis on fuel?

anyway, it is home time. not sure if i like being starscream. he is the 'fastest and most handsome' of the dedcepticons iirc, but also the most annoying and cowardly. can you imagine how much he and megatron must hate each other, after literally millions of years of treachery and slapdowns?
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
16:12 / 20.01.05
can you imagine how much he and megatron must hate each other, after literally millions of years of treachery and slapdowns?

The liquid was dripping off of Megatron's shining
cock, the light reflecting off of each drop as it
fell to the tiled floor.


Starscream stopped in mid-stride as a flash of light
caught his optics. His gaze was drawn to Megatron's
interface like a magnet.


For once the Decepticon leader was in a good mood,
letting his barriers down for a few minutes. He sighed
as the cleansing solvent poured down, feeling the
tension ease away, sighing at the fluid cascading down
his sensitive body.


Megatron moaned a bit as his hand soaped up his cock,
shuddering at the sensations. Lately things had
become a bit hectic and he hadn't taken the time to
pleasure himself. He masturbated frequently, and
when his routine was broken his body felt it.


Starscream tried to smother a gasp as he stared at
Megatron's twitching soapy cock, feeling his own
start to tingle. Primus, it had been so long since
he had last felt aroused, allowing him to feel the
sensations unique to an aroused male body.


Megatron heard a noise and jumped slightly, whirling
to face his Aerial Defense Commander gaping at him,
a look of glazed lust in his optics.


Starscream couldn't bear to tear his optics away from
the gorgeous sight before him. A small part of his
CPU screamed at him to tear his gaze away and move on
before Megatron clobbered him, but that thought was
quietly squelched as he caught sight of Megatron's
hand still wrapped around his soapy silver cock.


A question that had been nagging at Starscream was
finally answered. Indeed, Megatron's sizeable cord
*was* all sliver, and in fact the dripping liquid
from the shower enhanced its enticing shine.


At this point there was a very slim chance that
Starscream could have just turned away and walked to
an empty stall and salvage the shreds of his
dignity, but that last chance withered away as his
cock suddenly jerked into life. He gasped and
moaned slightly, back arching a bit in sudden
arousal.


Megatron opened his mouth to snap at his
second-in-command out of habit, but the jibe froze
on his lips when he saw Starscream writhing slightly
in arousal.


Megatron froze there, stunned and unsure how to
react. His instinct was to recoil in disgust and
horror, but he found that his body refused to obey
his command. "Starscream used to be female," he
thought to himself suddenly. "Is it possible after
all this time that he's held onto his female
preferences, such as lust for men?"


His oral probe snaked out a bit and licked over his
metallic lips unconsciously, mentally pondering the
possibilities. He would have never confessed it to
anyone, but something about this situation was
turning him on. His cock jerked in his hand,
startling him and ripping a gasp from his throat.


Starscream's hands trembled as his optics feasted on
the sight of Megatron's rising cock before him.
Could it be that Megatron was aroused, not from the
solvent shower, but from his presence? His own cock
answered with a gentle throb, causing an erotic moan
to escape as his hand lowered to caress his hidden
cord.


"I... uh...wow," Starscream gasped as Megatron's
cock continued to expand. His own cord wasn't far
behind, pressing against his cod piece.

"So," Megatron said huskily, "I hear that you used
to be female at one point. I must confess that I
was shocked at first, but the more I thought about
it the more it made sense."


Starscream shivered deliciously as Megatron's
probing gaze swept over him. Unable to stand the
rising pressure, he yanked off his cod piece and
tossed it aside, whimpering as his throbbing red
interface rose to salute his leader.


Megatron's hand clenched slightly on his swollen
pole, causing a drop of precum to slide out, visible
to them both even amongst the solvent pelting down.
Both mechs moaned as one, knowing that things were
reaching the point of no return.


Unable to stand the growing tension, Megatron
growled, "Come here, Starscream. I have something
for you." Like in a trance, Starscream approached,
licking his lips and almost panting.


Once he got within arm's reach, Megatron grabbed the
red jet and pulled him into a crushing embrace, his
mouth latching onto Starscream's.


Starscream moaned against the mouth bruising his,
kissing back as hard as he could. Megatron's tongue
slipped into his mouth and rubbed inside
suggestively, leaving no doubt in Starscream's mind
of what his leader wanted.


Feeling his fuel pump pounding in his chest,
Megatron decided to get things moving. He wasn't
exactly know for his patience during sex.
Starscream's legs buckled as Megatron's hand grasped
his straining erection and began to gently stroke.
Neither mech was going to complain, since it gave
them an excuse to hold each other tighter.


"Now," Megatron growled, pushing on the jet's
shoulders, "you've had your fun, what do you say
about pleasuring me?"


It was all Starscream could do to nod as he allowed
Megatron to guide him to his knees, the fat silver
rod protruding from the Decepticon leader's torso.


Starscream felt his cock begin to ooze as he leaned
forward and began to gently lap at the silver
phallus before him. Megatron moaned erotically as
his hips began to piston against the warm tongue
against him.


Starscream smirked a bit. What irony that he should
have Megatron at his mercy and not want to betray
his leader. He slid his lips around the sensitive
head, tongue teasing the underside of the throbbing
shaft. His own hand wandered down to his own
swollen cock that was begging to be touched.


Megatron began to cry out as he clutched the jet's
head convulsively, feeling his arousal rocket up to
an unbearable state. "I never knew how good a blow
job from a male could feel," he thought in a daze as
he smiled down on his second-in-command, who was for once
very interested in pleasing him.


Starscream looked confused as Megatron gently forced
his head away. "Was I doing it wrong?" he said in
confusion, staring up at his leader towering over
him with a massive hard-on. "No, you were great,"
Megatron sighed and helped the jet to his feet. "I
have something else in mind for you, something that
will give us both great pleasure."


"I bet you miss having a big cock inside you," he
murmured in Starscream's audio, gently nipping at
the metal. Starscream moaned and caressed
Megatron's hips. "Oh yes," he whispered.
"Sometimes I can almost feel it!" "Well, you could
feel it again," Megatron suggested, "though perhaps
it will feel a bit different."


"You mean-?!" Starscream gasped, staring at
Megatron's impressive length and wondering if it
could possibly fit. "I do indeed," Megatron said
smoothly, one hand reaching down to caress the red
tailgate, one finger gently pushing aside the cover
of his recharge hole and probing inside. Starscream
cried out at the amazing sensation. "Oh yes! I want
it!" he panted, craving Megatron's metal deep inside
him.


"Here," Megatron said, pulling his finger away from
Starscream's rear entrance, smiling at his new
lover's sigh of mixed disappointment and
anticipation. "Bend over with your hands braced
against the wall and your legs spread for me." "As
you command, Megatron!" Starscream panted with no
trace of sarcasm as he moved quickly to get into
place. He positioned his hands on the far wall that
the spigot was fixed against, groaning as the solvent
cascaded down his back and shoulders. His legs trembled
in intense arousal as he felt Megatron position himself
behind him, bracing himself for the first powerful thrust.


Megatron's hands fastened around Starscream's slim
hips, holding him in place as he brought his own
hips forward. He began to run his stiff rod up and
down the slight indentation in Starscream's aft,
listening with rapture to Starscream's moans.


Finally, no longer able to stand the buildup,
Megatron grasped his cock tightly and lined up the
dripping head with Starscream's entrance. He
circled the hole gently, then with one strong thrust
pushed past the opening. Starscream shrieked, and
both of them cringed at the sound. He hadn't
realized how tight the opening was, and small waves
of pain radiated down the entrance, but the pain
faded as Megatron began to rock back and forth
aagainst him slipping in and out, thrusting deeper
each time. Megatron moaned as the tightness enveloped
him, causing his senses to reel.


Starscream began to get in the mood, thrusting back
against Megatron's hips as much as he could. "Ahh,
yes!" he gasped. He had forgotten how good it felt
to be humping a nice cord, especially one as nicely
formed as his leader's. He braced himself against
the wall and rammed backwards as hard as he could.


Megatron let go of the jet's hips with one hand and
slid downward to stroke Starscream's dripping cock.
Starscream began to keen low in his throat as this
all became too much for him. He never would have
imagined that his latent crush on his leader would
expand to something like this!


Megatron's rhythm began to falter a bit, then speed
up in desperation as a telltale tingle traveled
down the length of his cock. He never would have
dreamed that humping a male's aft, especially
Starscream's, could fire his lust so much! He
squeezed Starscream's pulsing cock as both felt the
inevitable release begin to descend.


Megatron threw back his head and howled in abandon
as the fire in his long rod grew to an unbearable
level. It was all he could do to keep hold of
Starscream's hard-on as his own erection swelled
ominously, then burst, fluid exploding out and
flooding Starscream's rear with warm, sticky cum.


Starscream's body sagged as Megatron collapsed
against him, cock still pulsing inside, spewing out
its warm contents. He moaned in desperation, release
so close, eating up the sensation of having a man
within him once again, blowing his load inside him.
That thought was enough to send him over the edge,
and his body arched as much as possible in that
position, as his cock surged into life, spraying cum
over Megatron's hand, his own body, and a good deal
of the shower wall. Megatron recovered enough as his
own orgasm ended to gently stroke his second's cord as
it spasmed and pulsed in his hand. Starscream's whole
body writhed as he relished the long-anticipated and
needed release. He moaned and panted as the sticky
fluid continued to spray out of his interface and streak
the walls.


Finally the endless stream of cum dwindled away,
leaving Starscream literally drained. Megatron
managed to pull out of his rear with a *pop*, trying
to support Starscream's body and ease them both to
the ground before they both collapsed. Starscream
smiled lazily and gently fingered his own cock, a
bit sore and pleasantly sensitive.


Megatron stared at Starscream in amazement, unable
to believe what had just transpired between them.
His own cord throbbed gently, reminding him of the
incredible pleasure of the recent past. He sighed
and smiled cautiously, incredulous that he had just
fucked a male -- Starscream, no less -- up the ass.
He reminded himself that Starscream was all-female
on the inside, and that consoled him.


Starscream eyed his leader nervously. Now that it
was all over, perhaps Megatron was having second
thoughts. There was no telling what he would do.
Needless to say, he was shocked when Megatron drew
him close for a sensual kiss. "That was
incredible," Megatron murmured huskily in his audio.
"I'm on duty in several minutes so I'd better go.
You'd better finish cleaning up!" He chuckled and
stood up a bit stiffly, briefly wiping his hands
over his sleek silver body, assuring that no traces
of their tryst remained. "Perhaps we can continue
this at a later date," he winked at his second as he
snapped his codpiece into place and left the shower,
shaking off the solvent as he walked.


Starscream sighed in incredulity and stood up,
leaning against the shower wall, turning his face up
to relish the patter of fluid on his faceplate.
Gradually their combined fluids slid off his body
and down the drain. By Primus, he wasn't quite sure
what had happened or why, but he was already looking
forward to their next encounter!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
16:33 / 20.01.05
OK. That's reasonable. Have some huggles.

On the good technology/bad technology... I don't think it's entirely off, but I do think it's incomplete - however, there are ways back into it. For example, the stunticons are created (in the US comic at least) to discredit the Autobots, because they wiull resemble them - so there's a degree of mimesis there. The Constructicons are trickier - there's a duality in them where their individual members build things (admittedly usually evil bases or planet-knadging bombs) but their gestalt destroys them. However, the idea that the forces become more like each other through conflict was not entirely a joke. Prime agonises about using the Matrix to create new warriors, and has a nightmare sequence in the wake of the creation of Omega Supreme in which Earth is devastated by a new breed of super-Autobots, the creation of which had been proposed by Prowl. The Aerialbots are created to counter the Decepticons' superiority in the air, the Stunticons in part to be able to attack the Autobots from the ground (and also to make the fact that Autobots *do* have less scary disguise modes, at least at this point, less of a PR advantage). The Autobots use Headmaster technology to defeat the Decepticons, the Decepticons swiftly replicate it. And so it goes with every new advantage, until by the end the original distinction - mainly cars versus mainly military technology - is broadly true but honoured as much in the breach as the observance. There is no single advantage that I can think of that one side has and the other does not, as there was at the beginning - it comes down to whether those forms are being used by a good or an evil person.

To go back to the start - Soundwave. I think that, although Soundwave certainly uses his tape-playerness in a less ethical way than Blaster, he doesn't fit the "destructive technologies" gig (unless you argue that the cheap, disposable tape player is a destructive technology, and that Blaster's arrival was the introduction of such a destructive technology into the Autobots' representational arsenal). I would suggest that a better way to go on that might be to say that personality to some extent (to some extent) decides disguise mode. So, Ratchet is a doctor and an Ambulance. Hound is an outdoorsman and an off-road vehicle. Soundwave is not a Tomcat or a pistol, but Soundwave is not entirely evil, or at least not evil in the driven, vicious way that, say Starscream is (this causes problems with Rumble and Frenzy, but I think we have to assume that their relationship with Soundwave was in some way comparable on Cybertron and has thus been replicated. Soundwave is loyal to Megatron, and cold, and rather vindictive, but he seems to take little pleasure in doing the evil things that being a Decepticon gives him licence to do. I believe that during one of the Furman future storylines he and Ultra Magnus rally the Autobots and Decepticons to repel an alien attack on Cybertron, and for a moment he considers what Autobots and Decepticons could achieve if they united, before deciding (logically, but with a hint of sadness, I think) that it would never work - there was too much between the sides. He, I think, was realising that the only difference at that point between Autobot and Decepticon was that they were Autobot or Decepticon. See also Lord Zarak for another way this is played...

I don't know if it's good-for-planet/bad-for-planet - cars aren't exactly the most resource-worthy things in the world, although you could see a US writer thinking that giant robots that head down the highway Easy-Rider-stylee are more adorable than ones which fly out of the sun bristling with guns. At the start at least there are clear differences *in most cases* between the sort of forms one might expect of Autobots and of Decepticons, but ultimately, certainly as the story goes on, I feel the technology of the form *has* to be taken with reference to the badge - a cannon can be bad (Galvatron) or good (Omega Supreme), a tank can be bad (Blitzwing) or good (Warpath), a space shuttle can be bad (Astrotrain) or utterly shit (Sky Lynx)... and so on.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
16:43 / 20.01.05
Man, you have got to see the Transformers: Beast Wars series. In these terms, it reads like an early release of the immersive TECHNOCCULT Invisibles game.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
17:34 / 20.01.05
Oh God, Transformers slash. I think I've lost the will to go on.

Haus, Hearth, Home, Heart And are they going to release a 20th anniversary Ultra-Magnus, basiclly this toy spray-painted white, with a couple of bits you snap over the top?

Take. That. Back.


Make me, bitch.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
18:18 / 20.01.05
There's no blow I could offer so glancing as not to kill you. So I choose not to take action. That's what Ultra Magnus would have done.

That Transformers slash was ridiculous and offensive:

"That was incredible," Megatron murmured huskily in his audio. "I'm on duty in several minutes so I'd better go.
You'd better finish cleaning up!"


I mean, he's Megatron. Who exactly would have tapped their watch and demanded to know why he was late? Octopunch?
 
 
Triplets
18:44 / 20.01.05
Ultra Magnus lost out to Hot Rod for Cybertron's sake.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
19:05 / 20.01.05
It's all about trucks. Whoever has most recently become a truck gets to be in charge of the Autobots. When Hot Rod becomes a people carrier, he gets to be leader. Further, Ultra Magnus doesn't "lose out" to him. He gets what he wanted: not to be in charge. Which means he gets to spend more time on his poetry and recovering from the death of Impactor. It hit him hard. They were very close.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
20:26 / 20.01.05
Dude, Rodimus Prime was totally a camper van/winnebago thing, not a people carrier.

I met Simon Furman a few years ago at a party Titan Books was throwing. He tried to hide it, but he was dead chuffed people wanted to talk to him when Warren Ellis was bigging himself up in the corner. I was all like, DUDE! YOU WROTE DRAGON'S CLAWS!

Meeting the Fur Man is one of my treasured memories.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
20:37 / 20.01.05
Jealousy.

I loved 'Dragon's Claws' and 'Death's Head' (and to a much lesser degree 'Sleeze Brothers') so much when I was a wee'un. The issue where the Claws battled Death's Head, with sexy geoff Senior art, was a treasured item. Know what? In a fit of early-teen angst I threw them away, cos y'know comics are for kids. The pain.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
21:55 / 20.01.05
I think mine have rotted in my Dad's shed over the last few years.

{covers eyes}

At least you took a stand, man - no matter how misguided. Apathy is defined as a lack of feeling. The horror.
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
01:48 / 21.01.05
I wish more people would hire Geoff - his work on Transformers and Judge Dredd: Lawman of the Future was the fucking sex.
 
 
_Boboss
08:20 / 21.01.05
there's a (more or less) complete run of dragon's claws sitting in a shop, fifty pee a pop, less than a hundred yards from where i am now. i'll get them for someone at lunchtime if i get a pm telling me to do so and promising reimbursification, to make up for my extreme hissyness earlier in this thread (this may not be too big a deal - they could be languishing in back isuue bins all over the country for al i know). i got them for myself a year or two ago, and they do rock. they are as violent and exciting as you remember - the claws really can't stand to not get involved in a massive ruck for more than a few pages. the g-man stooge, deller, get's shot/stabbed in the arm so often it'salmost a joke by the end of the series.

senior works in advertising pretty much exclusively these days, according to the 'dinobot hunt' trade i got in the library last week (surprisingly good btw - those jurassic motherfuckers were all just vying for grimlock's love, but grimlock is only into grimlock. and maybe swoop.), that's why we don't see him painting punching no more.

now:

haus' 'enemies become similar', (which can also be described perhaps as 'war does not make men better') thought is pretty much IT as far as summing-up the transformer dynamic goes i think, but does that lead us into the dangerous allegory-lands of qalyn's original 'transformers taught kids racism' idea? are the decepticons just bad because they're bad?:

'autobot' suggests to me 'autonomic', i.e. that the 'bots are these kind of 'natural-man' types showing no distinction between their best thoughts and their everyday actions - their bodies, minds and environment are all in a kind of instinctual harmony. this could well be a bit dodgy really, as it implies a kind of simplicity that humans can't really manage without becoming psychotic.

'decepticons' meanwhile, obviously suggests deception, that the 'cons have a kind of mind/body split, an awareness of the separateness of their selves and their surroundings, that basically drives them mad with rage, especially when faced with the stagnant self-satisfaction they see in the 'bots. their second forms for them are more like tools to be put to the robot-ego's use, as is the home planet, which might have been the willed attempt into a species-wide evolution which sparked the whole fuel crisis and war.

put like this, the 'cons appear far more sympathetic. they have logic (shockwave and soundwave) on their side, and a kind of emotional sweep that the 'bots lack. most of the 'bots' personality traits, if they have them, are basically a kind of nostalgia. i'm beginning to think qalyn was right (not that the joes were better or groovier-for-kids, just that there's something potentially a bit racey about the transformers grand narrative).

alone in the office again, clearly.
 
 
_Boboss
08:28 / 21.01.05
oops, one more bit, rodimus becomes the leader precisely because he is a winnabago - he's the first big-ish transformer especially designed to carry humans, i.e. to accommodate the new dynamic evolutionary element that the autobots had been lacking for so long.

maybe ALL the transformers were evil, locked in this silly planet-wide conflict for eons, until they came to earth where the autobots were just the first to actually have a chance to practice some moral probity, demonstrated to them by the witwickys' simple father-son love.

the only point where the armies of the autobots and decepticons actually seem to differ is in the dinobots (who were definitely the best) there is no perfect decepticon equivalent of them, the predacons and the constructicons don't count because they all eventually surrender their individuality to larger combinacons. oh, there is the insecticons i guess. oh well.

now, who can explain the ancient battle between the majesticons and the infesticons?
 
 
Haus of Mystery
09:02 / 21.01.05
Happened on Gun Hill Road - concerned the relentless tide of jiggification, and attempts to battle this. Little known beyond this. Unaware of any transforming abilities , although it has been rumoured the Majesticons and Infesticons are actually the same entities, viewed through different glasses...
 
 
Triplets
13:46 / 21.01.05
Anyway, just how were the Insecticons supposed to fit into the sub-title of 'robots in disguise'? They weren't very Deceptive, being 20ft tall ants who eat cars. Neighbourhood Watch tends to notice that shit.

Let's consider, also, that the main human defense against Cybertronians of all stripes was the U.S. military (who, as fleshy Earthmen are a bit shit)*. Is Transformers suggesting through the Autobots (as Haus suggested) for a more grass-roots rural approach to life, luxury and self-defense?

*And thus taking a dig at Green Eyed Joe?
 
 
diz
14:11 / 21.01.05
Prime agonises about using the Matrix to create new warriors, and has a nightmare sequence in the wake of the creation of Omega Supreme in which Earth is devastated by a new breed of super-Autobots, the creation of which had been proposed by Prowl.

Prowl, of course, being the police car. the police apparatus as bad angel on Prime's shoulder, whispering encouragement for further militarization to combat the ever-present Decepticon threat.

Anyway, just how were the Insecticons supposed to fit into the sub-title of 'robots in disguise'? They weren't very Deceptive, being 20ft tall ants who eat cars. Neighbourhood Watch tends to notice that shit.

not if they're distracted by rampaging robot dinosaurs, they don't.

Ultra Magnus lost out to Hot Rod for Cybertron's sake.

hey, fucker, Hot Rod was cool enough, it's Rodimus Prime that was shit. it's not his fault he got exposed to weird radiation and turned into a wanker.

am i the only kid who, despite being really into Transformers, never gave much of a shit about Optimus Prime? or Megatron, for that matter. for me it was all about Soundwave. and Shockwave. any of the merciless motherfuckers from the Wave family, really.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
14:16 / 21.01.05
Well, bear in mind that no form of ranged weapon the Transformers have developed was ever actually meant to cause any damage. This is why Prime and Megatron have energy weapons built into their hands - they have learned from long experience that Cybertronian technology has, for all its wonders, never penetrated the mysteries of the straight rifle sight or the effectual laser. Thus, they were probably made up to find beings they could actually intimidate and harm. ON first lines of defence - well, Circuit Breaker and latterly the Neo-Knights had some limited success. On the whole, though, I quite like the fact that most scraps between Transformers resulted in massive property damage and no casualties, the only quantitative damage being to the self-esteem of the Autobot commander, who then has to agonise about how once again they have disrupted the lives of the people they purport to protect. Bluestreak or Prowl or Bumblebee will say "Hey, Prime/Magnus/Springer, why the long sensors? We stopped the Decepticreeps from stealing the resonance array. We did good!", to receive the reply "Did we, old friend? Did we?"
 
 
_Boboss
14:23 / 21.01.05
i don't know if prowl would have said that, the others maybe. i'd guess it would most likely have been ironhide, with his combination of childlike battle glee and hard-earnt maturity, often taking the long perspective that prime's innate pacifism would blind him to.

prime and bumblebee, maybe jazz and mirage, are about the only autobots who you ever thought would give a real shit about the fleshlies should the almost inevitable megadeath after a scrap in a human city ever occur. dozens of bodies scattered about their feet: 'fuck it prime, let's go drivin' would say the rest.

i'm really beginning to turn against the autobots now.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
14:40 / 21.01.05
Transformers:The Movie signalled the first time Transformers' weapons seemed to do any damage - Jazz, blasted to bit s like some...some Pretender! Prime dying, smoke billowing from an exit wound. All very upsetting. Unless of course you read 'Timewars' in Transformers UK, the most gleefully sadistic, hardcore apocalyptic death-fest to happen to the TF universe (and for me the end of the story, despite the fact they pretended everything carried on tickety-boo, like). See Ruck'n'Maul, the cybertronian siamese twins, blasted in half! See Autobots & Decepticons alike being slaughtered by a psychotic Galvatron and a brain damaged Megatron! See Galvatron torn apart limb from limb by a fucking time vortex!!

Shit doesn't get better than that.
 
 
_Boboss
14:54 / 21.01.05
yeah that was really the end because after you had the pretenders come in, and then it was just impossible to, err, 'believe' in. furman kept on writing it for yonks though - those US-sized trades they released last year or so are all set well after that, and there's tonnes of it: megatron-the-tank, another gijoe team-up, you find out what the decepticons on cybertron were really up to for the four million years that the rest were asleep on earth, all sorts of stuff. if somebody were to give you all the books i reckon it'd be fine, but the characters meant next to nothing to me by then (i am older than kup).

especially the fucking autobots, who're basically the kkk of the robotic universe to my mind these days...
 
 
diz
14:56 / 21.01.05
Transformers:The Movie signalled the first time Transformers' weapons seemed to do any damage - Jazz, blasted to bit s like some...some Pretender! Prime dying, smoke billowing from an exit wound. All very upsetting

i was blown away by that when i was a kid watching the movie in the theater. the Decepticons boarded the Autobot ship, the 80s hair metal guitar cranked up, the bad guys proceeded to get their slaughter on, and my jaw almost hit the floor.
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
15:55 / 21.01.05
I have the Movie on DVD. It soothes me.

Time Wars was the shit, wasn't it? I think there are scans up someplace.

What about that one where all the autobots got crucified to the sides of metroplex?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
16:04 / 21.01.05
Knew I'd had this conversation before.
 
 
Seth
12:18 / 22.01.05
I thought Jazz survived the movie. It was Prowl who died in the shuttle.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:12 / 22.01.05
Yep - because Jazz was voiced by the comparatively expensive Scatman Crothers, he got to live. Fuckaaaargh.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
15:36 / 22.01.05
Outgeeked at every side! Scatman fucking Crothers? Is there no end to the star studding of that goddamn movie? I love the way critics talk about Welles voicing Unicron as if it's somehow sad, a pathetic end for as great talent. What a load of shit. Transformers: The Movie is a biilion times better than Citizen Fucking Kane no matter how you milk the cat.
 
 
Seth
10:42 / 23.01.05
So which of you is gonna buy me Prime, then?
 
 
Brigade du jour
12:29 / 23.01.05
Seth, when money is no object (id est never) I shall buy it for you. And then in trouble with the nonce cops, probably.
 
 
Seth
13:50 / 23.01.05
Actually, expecting one of you to stump up the cash by yourselves is a bit much. You could organise a collection.
 
  

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