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Sorry for not starting it, Seth: I’m snowed under with work. There might be another reason for not starting it as well, probably something to do with the fact that then I’d have to start taking the practices seriously again, and I found them to be bloody hard work and very challenging. Most of the stuff I’ve read up on has come from my dabblings in Buddhism, where they talk of generating compassion, using worldly events as the fuel for this process.
The idea is to start looking at events and the people around you, looking for opportunities in the world to generating warmth and openness, rather than letting bad events close us up, and retreat into our usual self-satisfied fantasies, obsession with our own gratification etc. Encouraging your thinking to go in a certain direction, towards something compassionate, rather than something selfish. An example might be, when walking along the street and seeing someone homeless, rather than seeing them as annoying, because they’re about to invade our personal space by begging, considering their situation and why they might be there. Even stopping and talking to them, giving them a quid or two. Now I know this sounds simple, obvious, incredibly so, but I think if we are honest with ourselves, we will all admit that there are many, many times during the day when we don’t do this, and carry on in our little bubble of selfishness. Not just in our interactions with the homeless, in our interactions with everyone, all day. It’s really challenging to step outside our self-centredness and self concern and to direct your attention and actions towards others. In fact, it’s so bloody challenging that I think everybody should give it a look! (I think action is key here –otherwise the whole thing is just a mental game – a worthwhile one, maybe, but still lacking).
I’d add that this in no way means beating your self up for not being “open” enough, it’s not a bloody “rule” or a “duty “to take on board, something to beat yourself up over – it’s a practice to experiment with and see how you feel. Is it healthy? Does it make you feel better? In fact, for me, the whole spirit of the practice starts with being compassionate and forgiving toward yourself. Taking on this sort of attitude has been really key and massively helpful in my own practice (especially useful if you’ve been weaned on Crowley and other stupid fucking magickal instructions about cutting yourself with razors, or rock hard meditations for hours and hours with no faults). I recently read “Waking Up” by Charles Tart, and he mentions that his students often had no problem with feeling compassion towards others, but tremendous problems with feeling it toward themselves. We’ve all internalised a hugely critically superego, the question is can we tell it to fuck off for a bit? I think this a useful starting point – can you quell the tide of self-criticism? Can you look in the mirror and feel warmth? Do you like yourself? Not for anything you have, or have done, some list of achievements, but basic warm, loving feelings towards yourself? If not, perhaps searching for these feeling regularly would be a worthwhile practice. If even the idea of this makes you feel uncomfortable, is that a clue toward something about yourself?
This is something I wrote on the subject for the talk on Dattatreya I gave at Treadwells last year (soon be up on the Web).
A practice I’ve been trying lately is the generating of compassion, or boddhicitta, as it’s referred to in the Tibetan tradition. It’s perhaps a little taboo for a man in our culture even to talk about something “soft” like compassion. In the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, nying je or compassion is actually commensurate with consciousness itself, central to our functioning, if we are only open enough to allow it. I have found this an excellent (though, again, difficult) practice for challenging ones own self-centredness. For instance, I have noted the low level hostility I run as background “stay away from me” programming as an inhabitant of the big city, on the tube and in the streets. I’ve tried to open up a little, accepting those around me, dropping my ever so slight anger and pushiness. I have similarly tried to summon up the images, thoughts and feelings and people who’ve fucked me off, annoyed or offended me in some way, and tried to see the situation concerned from their perspective, to forgive if I can and acknowledge my own role in causing such situations. Surprising sensations can arise. One can feel a little voice inside that doesn’t want to that will justify hanging on to the negative feelings, a little “war” begins internally before release. Both of these practises have brought on strong somatic sensations at various times, a sensation of “opening” around my chest, rushes of energy and pleasure, even tears.
I’d add that the process reminds me of the “free belief” of Austin Spare – you forgive someone, or yourself, for something you’ve been holding onto, and all this energy floods out with nowhere to go. I’ve used this to charge sigils in the past.
Final comment - I’d add that one practice I’ve found interesting when I feel “enmeshed in suffering” – down, depressed and hung up - is to acknowledge that it’s not just me who has problems. In Buddhist thought at least, the whole world is enmeshed in suffering, it’s the source of samsara, the world ocean, and there’s a resolution in most Buddhist practices to overcome this, not just for yourself, but for everyone else as well. Contemplating this is odd - when you allow into consciousness the fact that it’s not just you, that it’s possibly everyone else you know in one way or another - it’s strangely comforting in a weird way. You feel aligned with others, and resolute in your determination to overcome it. This usually gives me the energy and perspective to shift my thinking into something more positive.
Really interested to see anyone else’s comments or experiences here. Hope this discussion broadens beyond me and Seth (no disrespec’, dude). |
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