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Stupid Art, Fashion & Design questions

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Less searchable M0rd4nt

10:27 / 02.01.05

I was idly perusing this forum and noticed that it lacks a Stupid Questions thread, which seemed a bit of a shame. Ergo I am starting just such a thread as a boon to the stylistically confused and artistically challenged.

Also I have a Stupid Question, which I am shamelessly crossposting from the Random Q's thread in the Convo:

Please, won't someone help me fix my hair?

Back in April, after two happy years of baldieness, I decided with a heavy heart to grow my hair back in the hopes of getting a job. Going natural is not a small thing when your collar and cuffs haven't matched since 1991, but needs must ect.

It's been a long process, especially since I have very thick unruly hair that likes to grow straight up on top and straight out at the sides (think if Wolverine and Dilbert's pointyhair boss had a baby. Oh, stop whimpering. Have a drink, you'll feel better.) I now have hair down to about... oh, halfway between Andy Warhol and Christopher Robin, say. The colour is best described as Dingy Mouse. I look perfectly respectable and sort of cute and timid and I hate it hate it hate it hate hate hatey McHate.

I'm half inclined to go for the clippers and bleach, nice platinum Grade 3 a la Stop The Insanity, but I look really butch with short hair and employers here don't seem to like butchy chicks. So, what should I do?

Tryphena Absent

13:18 / 02.01.05

Make it stick up. If you use enough different products you can make it look darker without actually dyeing it.

15:54 / 02.01.05

See my answer in the Q&A thread. And yeah, product can do good things, turn you from a nice, employable laydee to, err, whatever you want to be.
Where's Lily, we need her!

16:26 / 02.01.05

The key, as with any project, is to look at it as a magickal act. Because it is: you're changing yourself to change your circumstances.

Surround yourself with positive images: Visualize success before you start. Start clipping magazine photos of women who look good--as you define "looking good"--with medium-short hair. You're not going to be stealing their styles, exactly, but rather partaking of their vibe: strong, confident, smart, competent. And maybe you'll get some ideas that you can adapt to your own style.

Something goofy: take an old photo of yourself with shaved head. Run some photocopies of it. Then get out your pencils & crayons & paints and take a couple of whacks at creating the look that you want--i.e., employable but uncompromised.

On a purely practical level, short back & sides with a long top is probably going to be your most versatile option. For a quote-unquote "professional" appearance, comb & gel it back into a sort of pompadour. Based on the photos I've seen of you, I think you'd look positively professorial--in a good way. For fun looks, spike it straight up or side-comb it into a fauxhawk. You know, for fun.

And it should be fun. Be glad for what you've got, and the options it gives you. You could be me, for instances, options limited by MPB and good taste to either buzzcut or shavepate. Or monastic tonsure, I suppose.

22:18 / 02.01.05

I wonder if you could somehow have, like, Transformer hair? Combed one way it would be Pammy Perky, and combed another way it would be Stabby McSlicekill?

22:23 / 02.01.05

Hey, I just realized I had a stupid art question: Do photographers have something like 'originals'? By which I mean, a print of a work which is for some reason more valuable than some later print of their work? Does that have a name? I am only curious because for some reason when I am shouting unreasonable demands I always want to say, "...and an original [whatever this word might be if it exists] of Andres Serrano's Piss Christ!"

22:47 / 02.01.05

What you want to do to your hair, MC, is ask a stylist to give you a "deconstructed" cut. Spend some money on an initial haircut, ask them to use the razor comb and bastardizing scissors (that's what they're called! I think) to basically thin down your thick unruly hair into a piecey cut that you can then grow out gracefully.

17:13 / 03.01.05

I have a stupid fashion question! Is it considered hopelessly lame to design your wardrobe around a color scheme, and/or a particular clothing brand? I ask merely because it makes planning outfits much easier, and I desperately need to revamp my closet, so I'm tossing a lot of stuff and going in search of new foundation pieces. I just want to make sure I'm not screwing it up even worse before I go shopping...

Lilly Nowhere Late

19:05 / 03.01.05

Here I am! Not sure that I'll have a magical solution, and only if it's 40volume no doubt.(btw,I've never heard of bastardizing scissors, but I'm getting some as soon as)
Anyway, colour is what you need now. Not bleach but some sort of good colour scheme done by a professional(I could fly over to Spain, but it'd cost you too much). I'm thinking a contrasty chocolate/blonde mix up but you could do anything. Employers don't generally hate this but it certainly makes one feel less Christopher Robin. The maintenence is minimal if it's done properly and the improvement to the texture and managability of unruly hair is phenomenal. Don't cut it very much, listen to no one else on this. In a few more inches your hair will be so incredibly versatile that you will be happy again. Good trims, 3-4/year when growing hair out, are a good idea, but one doesn't need to go overboard. Can't you just come to London and let me sort it all out? If you need a colour formulating, give me a PM. Good luck!

And yes, photographers usually do have "the original" but mostly in negative or slide format and then mostly if they are fashion/art photographers. In the age of digital, who knows anymore? bloody dots...

Tryphena Absent

13:31 / 04.01.05

Is it considered hopelessly lame to design your wardrobe around a color scheme, and/or a particular clothing brand?

Yes it is.

What you should do is base your entire wardrobe around your shoes. If you go for the colour scheme than your clothes will depress you when you open the cupboard door and if you go for a brand you'll look perfect and perfect people are boring.

13:37 / 04.01.05

Sigh.

That's what I was afraid of. I don't have really any decent shoes at the moment either.

Shoe shopping first, then?

04:26 / 05.01.05

Q: Can shoes (boots) be 'stretched'?

I just got a pair of boots that, while they fit, make me consider amputating my pinky toes. And I don't want to give them to a friend with slightly smaller feet and have to see the smug bastard wearing them.

I thought about sending them as a present to a friend who lived very far away, but someone mentioned that I could 'stretch' them instead. Or, rather, have them stretched - professionally, I'd assume.

What does that entail/mean?

Lilly Nowhere Late

05:15 / 05.01.05

Not sure exactly what stretching shoes entails, but I know it can be done. Go to a shoe repair place which is old, been around for a long time. Not one of these "fix your broken heel in 3minutes flat" places.
I think they do a bit of soaking the shoe then use a device to hold it in a stretched position while drying. Then retreat and polish and waterproof. Anyway, it works wonders.

23:16 / 06.01.05

Sekhmet - I'd suggest choosing a base neutral - ie, either black, choc brown, or charcoal gray, whichever suits you best. As you shop, stick to the one neutral and then a pared-down selection of colors that suits your complexion. That also simplifies the matter of buying shoes on a budget, since you won't have to match black/gray and brown.

Well, Lilly, I guess my sassy stylist was just jerking my chain (what a great cut he gave me, though). So my stupid fashion/hair question is, what do you call those scissors that have teeth instead of straight blades?

14:38 / 07.01.05

Ibis - Half a step ahead of you, great minds. I think I'm going to use chocolate brown as the base and coordinate it with deep reds, greens, and other neutral earth tones. Brown and red and green seem to be my best colors. They'll mix and match well, and keep me from wearing so much black, which doesn't suit my complexion anyway.

This will also likely result in my red-green colorblind husband thinking I'm wearing the same color all the time. Oh well.

In return for the advice: I think those are called blending/texturizing scissors.

I like "bastardizing" though.

Lilly Nowhere Late

05:44 / 08.01.05

Well I've got lot's of blending/texturizing, even channeling shears already. I want some which are bastardizing. Yes I do.
Whatever happened with MC's hair btw?

15:10 / 08.01.05

thinking about the wardrobe redesign issue, two things popped into my head. One is a little mantra for packing when you're going away 'Think colour, pack black' which is a condensed version of what everyone's said already (though 'think chocolate, go to fridge, sod the packing' sounds much better to my ear). Another is that I was wondering if it might be good to go for a central genre/image, 'cos its amazing how many clothes just don't match despite the fact that they're the right tone/shade etc. Jeans are probably one of the only items that really can be paired with just about any top, which is fine for weekends, but harder for work/smart. Will you show us photos of what you finally end up with? Oh, and have you considered going down the plain clothes, variety through accessories route????

14:01 / 11.01.05

Perfect Tommy, I think that arty photographers probably have something they call an "artist's proof", like printmakers do. Consider that many photos have an entirely different effect depending on how they are cropped... Also consider that sometimes it's not the photographer that gets that neat visual effect that caught your eye and made you like the picture, but actually the person who printed it up onto the paper -- again, much as can happen with printmaking...

14:32 / 11.01.05

Contact sheets, maybe?

17:32 / 13.01.05

Just picked up the boots. The stretching seems to have made some difference, but they're still too small.

New plan: wear them for increments of time around the house, hope they adjust to my feet. Alternately, be very sad if they don't.

All Acting Regiment

20:37 / 13.01.05

I've got one. Look right, you know when you go in shoe shops, like, decentish expenseive ish ones, I mean is it ok to try the shoes on? Does that stupid? Just...look it's a personal fear. They might get angry or something.

11:31 / 14.01.05

I once worked in a shoe shop, years and years ago, for my sins, and yes, yes, YES! Try on the shoes! We WANT you to try on the shoes! That's what they're THERE for, for you to try on! How will you know what you like, if you don't try on the shoes? How will you know if they fit, if you don't TRY ON THE SHOES?!?

I mean, if you're going to try on fifty pairs of radically different shoes and then not buy any, maybe not. But if you honestly mean to buy something, and you have some ideas what you're looking for, then sit back, relax, and let the shoe shop clerk do hir job.

See, here's a thing about people who go into retail: a lot of them gravitate towards it because they genuinely like dealing with people. If you are at all a courteous, reasonable person, then odds are your clerk will honestly enjoy helping you.

Just have clean feet, wear clean socks or clean stockings, and be pleasant. You'll be amazed how many people don't and aren't, and how much good will it will buy you if you do and are.

Tryphena Absent

11:59 / 14.01.05

That also simplifies the matter of buying shoes on a budget, since you won't have to match black/gray and brown.

That doesn't work for me- but I only have two pairs of black shoes and the others come in a selection of bright colours, which explains why I buy shoes first and clothes to match them. And that I'm an impulse buyer. But I'm also poor and good at shoe bargains!

Creating a system from the ground up does make shopping more fun and it makes you want to keep your clothes for longer.

Lilly Nowhere Late

16:52 / 14.01.05

I always wear clean everything, but I was once hit by a shoe salesgirl. She got fired. It was traumatic.

17:07 / 14.01.05

I only have two pairs of black shoes and the others come in a selection of bright colours

I never buy bright-colored shoes because I have enormous feet and I'd rather not attract too much attention to them.

A stupid question about shoe shopping, though: cost-effectiveness-wise, is it better to get cute, cheap shoes and just replace them when they fall apart in a year, or to get nice expensive shoes that will theoretically last longer?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

19:48 / 14.01.05

What happened to my hair? It's still all here. It's marginally less foul now that it's grown in a bit more.

I loved Lilly Nowhere's suggestion but I was terrified of actually trying to do it myself and my budget does not stretch to visiting local hairdressers, let alone importing them. (Otherwise she'd have been bundled onto a plane by masked lackeys and whisked off to my secret underground volcano-powered island lair).

In the end I went for Jack Fear's first tip, and looked at women I liked the look of. I figure I'll get a reddish rinse and go for as near to an Allyson Hannigan (c. Season 4) look as my completely non Allyson Hanniganness will allow. It has the advantages of being something I can probably take care of myself, going with most of my stuff and also allowing me to function in Vanillaworld without too much fear and loathing.

Lilly Nowhere Late

05:16 / 17.01.05

I think I just had a dream about masked lackeys.
Sounds like you're feeling better about the hair and that is all that actually counts. When and if you are next in London, perhaps you'll need me and I'll be able to help.
Masked lackeys. hmmmmmm.

10:22 / 28.02.05

I want to buy myself a t-shirt. It sounds pretty easy, but I've not actually done that for three years, and am somewhat out of touch with what "the kids" today are wearing. From a glance around most major high street stores at the weekend, it appears that this is either (i) t-shirts which look old or (ii) t-shirts bearing some slogan such as 'I am really pretty'. Now. Neither of these are really what I want to buy, since (i) I already have t-shirts which look old, in fact lots of them, which is why I want new t-shirts and (ii) I am not utterly delusional.

Do you know anywhere good to buy t-shirts? Outside of the parameters mentioned above, I'm pretty unfussy, so even if you tell me the last place you bought a nice t-shirt that would be helpful...

09:52 / 01.03.05

Drome or Open in Liverpool city centre are pretty good for a wide variety of t-shirts. Though most may be too 'hipster'-ish for you. I know they are for me.

Have you thought about ordering online? www.thepeoplesbureau.com and www.threadless.com do very excellent t-shirts.

15:11 / 02.03.05

Perfect Tommy: I think it slightly depends on what the photographer's work is being used for, but if you're talking about 'fine art' photography then there will almost always exist a series of prints developed by the artist that can be considered 'originals', and will have a higher value than subsequent reproductions. All the artists I know who work with photography develop a limited run of a particular image themselves and consider those prints as a finished piece of work. But the idea of an original is always going to be more mutable with photography than with something like painting. As a related example, a friend who makes video installations was recently in negotiation with a gallery over the purchase of a new piece; he'd planned to make an edition of five, but the gallery owner wasn't happy with that so he ended up limiting the edition to three but raising the price on the copy he sold to that gallery. So the value is determined by the trace of the artist's hand and the rarity of the piece: "I'll pay more for this if I know that only two other people have a copy." It's as if, in the absence or dilution of Walter Benjamin's 'aura', the value it produces has to be reintroduced to the work after the act of producing it. Part of the deal my friend made when selling his video was that he'd return to the gallery to do a performance that accompanies the videos - have a one-off with your reproduction, for extra realness.

04:22 / 03.03.05

Does anybody have any advice about trimming a moustache? I've recently grown one for the first time, not liked it, and decided to hack it off; but before doing that, decided to trim it down to a John Waters/Little Richard pencil-line. Now I managed to do that, and have decided I want to stick by it for a while, but I am sure there is a quicker and neater way to do it than my amateurish, shoplifted nail scissors approach.

05:58 / 03.03.05

Simple. Mustache trimer. Really the only way to do it if you want to keep your upper lip intact AND keep the mustache shaped right. Most electric razors have one built in.

04:02 / 04.03.05

Hmmm... but then what did men do before there were electric razors?

ONLY NICE THINGS

08:47 / 04.03.05

Have their whiskers tended by barbers, primarily. Cutthroat razors are better for dealing with moustaches than safety razors, also.

11:18 / 04.03.05

Cheers, Triplets -really like the designs on threadless, so may well go for that option!

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