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Uncurrent Nonprojects

 
  

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Eloi Tsabaoth
21:48 / 18.12.04
I'm so busy right now it's actually easier for me to tell people what I'm not working on.
-A musical based on Ice Station Zebra
-An alternate version of the Beach Boys' 'Fun fun fun' where the girl actually does go to the library and has a smashing time reading about opossums.
-A documentary about pens in the 20th century that for no particular reason totally ignores the biro.
-'The Bling and I'
-A magazine about celebrities and their interesting diseases.
-A kid's animated series based on The Pearl by John Steinbeck.
-Something with Peter Andre.

What projects aren't taking up all your time?
 
 
agvvv
01:20 / 19.12.04
A masterpiece of any sort whatsoever....
 
 
astrojax69
22:09 / 19.12.04
getting thirty of my poems together to
publish - i spent months on some of
them earlier in the year and...

then the momentum.....

just.... ran......



........out.
 
 
Jack Fear
21:49 / 20.12.04
Adapting the Kalevala for a Disney animated musical: songs by Phil Collins and Varttina, with Garrison Keillor as the voice of Vainamoinen. The studio's demands for a wisecracking talking salmon sidekick kind of threw me off my stride, I admit.

Also, my multi-volume epic fantasy In the Land of Undiscovered Genius continues to not roll along: I am currently not at work on volume XII, entitled Submit, Said The Editor - the follow-up to Teacher Said I'd Never and Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, the most recent volumes I have not finished.
 
 
XXII:X:II = XXX
05:39 / 21.12.04
Jack fears: Adapting the Kalevala for a Disney animated musical: songs by Phil Collins and Varttina, with Garrison Keillor as the voice of Vainamoinen. The studio's demands for a wisecracking talking salmon sidekick kind of threw me off my stride, I admit.

Is it merely my history with Finns that makes me very very interested in seeing this come to pass? If you need comic relief, I say you get the Leningrad Cowboys involved; they could be a whole school of salmon!

Unfortunately, this subject is entirely too real for me, and not because I'm doing anything more worthwhile than subsisting, not well at that. I have a list of somewhere around 25 original comic ideas that I'm not doing jack on, a blog I could be updating more than once or twice a month, a handful of business ventures that I suppose I could be seeking startup capital on, etc. This all amounts to a far more personally-enriching life I could be experiencing if not for my lack of organizational skills, attention span, sustainable faith in my abilities and frenzied motivation.

My Bizarro-self, the one who simply cannot stop directing his creative energies into realized project after realized project, better not be wishing for my life, because I'll gladly trade.

/+,
 
 
Benny the Ball
06:49 / 21.12.04
Schindler's List, On Ice! Should be not appearing at Chessington World of Adventures sometime in the New Year.

A reality show called Knife Swap, in which families of different classes switch cutlery for a week.

New comedy drama series in the same style as Teachers called Supply Teachers, basically the same, but they aren't intergrated, respected or at work as often.

A CGI section for 2001's ending, in which the cosmic baby at the end is seen to have the facial features of an ape.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
07:25 / 21.12.04
After a very quiet period in my life I have finally gotten around to not doing the following.

A collection of interpretive dance studies to be performed on the London Eye. Each one will last exactly 8 minutes and 3 seconds after which the audience will move to another pod via death slide.

Wrapping the British Museum in "POLICE LINE - DO NOT CROSS" tape.

Converting the Elgin Marbles into a unisexual urinal so that everyone can enjoy the sensation of pissing on them.

Writing a TV miniseries about a young graphic designer called Arial. She lives in Tahoma and her boyfriend is a courier. I shall call the series "This stuff writes itself".

A sculpture of Boris Johnson made of boiled ham with potato for hair and clothes made out of seaweed.
 
 
Sax
11:14 / 21.12.04
- Collaborating with the Finn Brothers (ex Crowded House) and Mariah Carey on a two-CD concept album of faked orgasm sounds.

- Walking to Whitby.

- Writing a haiku in 20ft high letters on the Old Man of Coniston.

- A biopic of Peter Sutcliffe, the Yorkshire Ripper, with all the main parts played by children. A kind of reverse "Blue Remembered Hills" meets Bugsy Malone.

That's all I'm not working on for now.
 
 
Sekhmet
13:51 / 21.12.04
- A sci-fi novel about gigantic government-bred man-eating intelligent telepathic spiders (delayed for another few years because goddamn Peter Jackson actually put Shelob in the movie)

- A comic book about an all-girl punk band and the indy music biz (the main purpose of which is to use up my store of really cool band names I've been inventing for the past seventeen years)

- A larger-than-life Christ-on-crucifix sculpture made entirely of clock parts and gears

- A series of handcarved wooden figurines of Lovecraftian creatures as carousel steeds
 
 
Benny the Ball
22:55 / 21.12.04
I'm not putting the finishing touches to my sprawlling sci-fi epic trilogy that is writen entirely as a palandrom, that's for sure.
 
 
Perfect Tommy
23:58 / 22.12.04
- I'm not developing a "gothic punk" roleplaying game based on famous mathematicians for White Wolf;

- I am currently not turning the 1974 U.S. tax code into the libretto for a funk opera starring puppets;

- I have failed to devote countless hours to etching Charles Schultz's entire cartooning output onto Antarctic ice sheets as a statement on global warming
 
 
Jub
12:48 / 05.01.05
I'm not working on a complicated algorithm which will make all roads (including the M25) actually lead to Rome.

I'm also not writing the genetic structure of a new fruit the Papple (which is a cross between a pair and an apple - kinda like a quince only a lot tastier).

The last thing I'm not working on is a story which all kids will enjoy.
 
 
wembley can change in 28 days
07:22 / 19.01.05
I'm currently not writing two plays. And not writing an article about OSS middleware, either. Not that I understand the first thing about OSS middleware.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
13:03 / 19.01.05
Hey, Jub...

*Drrrrrrrrrrrummmmrrrrrrrrrrollll*

A pair of what?

*A-bump-Tshhhhh!*
 
 
Alex's Grandma
20:26 / 19.01.05
'The Four Gospels - A Ringside View.' A first-hand account of what really went on there, based on personal experience as experienced while employed as a Remote Viewer by the Psy-Ops dept of the CIA, after an accident in the bath in the mid-to-late Nineties. An opera.

'Great Expectation.' A novel published under the pseudonym C Dicken - Well it's bound to sell at least a couple of copies, isn't it ?
 
 
Rollo Kim, on location
15:56 / 26.01.05
Doing the art piece I call 'the dishes' - a one man show featuring me and the filthy contents of my kitchen sink.

Getting a day job.

Sorting out the performance piece 'My Sex Life'.

Typing up half a dozen notebooks-worth of hand-scawled skits and manuscripts.

Going on tour with The Mekano Set.

Finishing the 'yesterday's socks and T-shirt' performance I've been working on for the past couple of weeks.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
16:15 / 29.01.05
'I've Stopped Taking Drugs, And It's Everyone Else's Fault That I Started Taking Them In The First Place.'

Or;

'Weird Stuff ? I Should Coco !'

When I ever get round to not living in the sub-cult milieau I'd need to not experience to not write that book, a lot of people are going to... fall asleep, I suppose. But only because they're CONDITIONED, the clots.
 
 
Jack Vincennes
07:57 / 31.01.05
I am currently not working on a dystopian novel in which a mild-mannered database developer inadvertantly reveals the totalitarian nature of postmodern society by creating a database cell format which will hold human beings. Its first use is as a government register of homeless people, gaining broad support but developing in sinister ways I'm really not thinking about right now.
 
 
admiral sausage
14:03 / 15.02.05
At the moment I'm avoiding working on a flash animation based on Tom Wait's The Black Rider, hit a few technical problems which I couldnt be bothered to fix, as that would mean reading my manual *any flash experts out there willing to help ?*

Im also not putting up a web site with my drawings, animations etc on.
 
 
Axolotl
11:13 / 16.02.05
I'm not working on my scheme for world domination. The giant weather machine is for novelty purposes only. Honest.
 
 
solomon
01:35 / 22.03.05
Instead of doing my homework on the school computer, i'm barbeling with you guys. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
 
 
matsya
02:22 / 22.03.05
I'm pleased to say that I'm not NOT writing my novel, having finally had a gutful and gotten up early before work to put some hard yards in. Only 45 minutes of hard yards, mind you, but I'm planning on making it a regular pre-breakfast thing and it felt great cycling to work today with thoughts about my characters running through my head.

m.
 
 
mattydontlikeit
23:28 / 15.05.05
Currently not writing and illustrating an addendum to Peanuts wherein Franklin joins the Nation of Islam, working title: "You're the White Devil, Charlie Brown!"
Also, not planning on pitching a "lost" finale episode to the TV series "Murder She Wrote", revealing that Jessica Fletcher, rather than being a snoopy murder-mystery writer who travels about New England solving murders on a weekly basis, is actually a highly successful serial killer, who travels about New England murdering people and framing their acquaintances on a weekly basis...
 
 
alejandrodelloco
03:23 / 16.05.05
I am honing my theremin skills to the point where I can play "The Flight of the Bumblebee" at double speed.

I have also been working on my seventh opera.
 
 
agent139
05:23 / 16.05.05
Since you asked...

Projects I'm currently working on or recently completed:

Ouroboros- 2006 calendar. Obviously most sales will likely happen closer to 2006. But it's up, done. Some of the images here are from unreleased projects like the Fas Ferox world walkthrough, others were made just for the calendar.

Project Gamelight- can't talk too much about this one yet. Beyond to say we have new sponsors... which hopefully will be a boon in a little while.

Chasing The Wish comic - presently working on the script with Jason Stackhouse. (One of my collaborators on JMC!, among other things.) For more on Chasing The Wish - google it. I will be illustrating it with Jessika Kaos.

Follow up to Join My Cult! - 56,000 words into draft 1. No title yet.

Bedtime Stories With the Antichrist - arranging/editing/producing material for this with a cast which has grown to about 10, presently. We should be launching it around June 1. I've passed on a decent amount of the narration and some of the editing work to Agent 156, so I don't get totally bogged down.

Fas Ferox - discussing producing the pilot as a graphic novel with a couple artists.

Mind Driver 2 - writing material for marketing and also the manual for this fully customizeable binaural/trance induction d-vice. I knocked out the first couple pages last night. I will be introducing a lot of the experience and work I've done with the machine and a more accesable list of guidelines for people to get the most out of thee device, as well as material provided to me by agent 156, who helped the upgrade of the audio/binaural tech which has made it some of the most sophisticated technology of its kind. The prototype (MD1) had a few flaws, most of which have been fixed with the MD2. The tentative release date for this is also June 1.

In discussion right now with New Falcon about re-designing their site. I'm looking for good suggestion in terms of a hosting solutions. (Also for www.digital-falcon.com) In the process I also pitched a collaborative book I've been thinking about - Cultural and Reality Hacks for the 21st Century. I have a killer line up of people to help me produce this if it gets accepted, so long as no one flakes on me.

Redesigning the website for Ben Mack's book Poker Without Cards.

subQtaneous - is ready to be mastered except for the tracks I need to get from a certain individual that has totally disappeared and hasn't responded to any methods I have for reaching him.

I'm probably forgetting a number of things. But that's pretty much it. I know, I know. I'm a lazy good for nothing.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
10:26 / 16.05.05
Hey, what does this look like? Some kind of thread where people talk about the actual real things they are genuinely working on? This is the thread for lying and procrastination...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
10:45 / 16.05.05
Blimey!- a rock opera based on the life of Peter Sissons. Not that Peter Sissons, obviously.

Building a time machine so I can travel back to the halcyon days when "No Place Like Home"'s William Gaunt was still "currently appearing in 'When Did You Last See Your Trousers?'"
 
 
GogMickGog
15:44 / 17.05.05
Currently:-

-Not refining the scripts for my hilarious new sitcom (pitched as "Stalagluft 17" meets "Hi-de-hi"), "Havin' a gas"

-Not working on my meta-fictional sci-fi hat/book/genital piercing space opera, in seven parts and provisionally titled "battlefield girth"

-Launching my motivational course/teen-brainwashing youth cult, geared around the appreciation of the text message.
 
 
Laughing
20:10 / 17.05.05
I'm definitely not in the lab right now genetically engineering the sequel to the cabbage.

I'm also most certainly not working on a technique to shrink the Moon.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
00:02 / 20.05.05
'Barbelith - The Glory Years.' An autobiography.
 
 
agent139
10:22 / 31.05.05
You mean I wasn't lying?

Damn. Can't even tell anymore.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
08:57 / 13.06.05
I am not currently in talks with Sandy Tostvig (?) as regards my hilarious new ordanance based game show, what's my mine.

Actually I am not working at all at the moment because I'm reading this. I should be working.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
09:26 / 13.06.05
Check out what I'm not involved with!
-The Campaign for having the year 3000 next year, speeding up the millennial celebrations. Why should cockroaches have all the fun?
- A new animated show with Stan Lee in which the Queen is a superheroine who incinerates criminals by exposing her breasts.
-Writing the new national anthem with Chris Martin.
-Negotiating the merger between Whizzer and Chips and Guns and Ammo.
-The Crazy Frog movie. But who isn't?
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
14:28 / 13.06.05
Will that be Guns & Chips or Whizzer & Ammo or even Whizzer (Whizzo sounds better) Guns and Ammo Chips?
 
 
Alex's Grandma
14:33 / 13.06.05
'Golfing Your Way Into Business Heaven ( And Not Business Hell ! )'

Sand traps, birdies, etc, as an extended metaphor for all those things that can happen sometimes, at the office.

Eg -

'Chapter 7 ( Footnote - 'Well ok, the client has you in a bind. It looks like you've played a bad shot, as if all your dreams are going under, into the pond, with the ball. Stay calm ! Do not give in to 'the voices' ! Whatever you do, do not attack the client with your '3 iron,' even though he's standing there laughing like a fat lizard - As they say in China, or wherever, somewhere anyway, 'crisis' and 'opportunity' are the same word.

'You can not, to be clear about this, make an attempt on the client's life until you've been seen being 'ribbed' by him for a bit in The Nineteenth Hole. If the red mist descends during that ( as it may well do - you're only human ! ) it's important to stay focused on what's going to happen a bit later on, with a sort of blurry inevitability.'

( I have a horrible feeling that this might, in fact, actually be ok... )
 
  

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