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Dear Haus,
While matters of men's tailoring have always been DEAR to my HEART, I am afraid that in my new life as Prisoner #2311 I have had little opportunity to INDULGE this particular interest of mine. Let me EXPLICATE further:
In order to bring the British so-called 'JUSTICE' system into aesthetic line with our AMERICAN SOCIALIST OVERLORDS, the prisoners' uniform here at Pentonville (it's very rough) has recently undergone a most unnecessary enforced CHANGE. Gone are the black and white horizontal stripes that have TRADITIONALLY served the British prison service. In their place, we at Pentonville are forced to wear ORANGE BOILER-SUITS.
These ungodly garments were first introduced a fortnight ago, and initially included a small external pocket on the left BREAST. However this had to be abandoned due to certain unfortunate deeds carried out by my current cell-mate, a talented musician known as THE GENERAL.
THE GENERAL has been in Pentonville (which is very rough) for some time, and previously shared this cell with a famous heroin addict and former rent boy, one PETER DOHERTY. In that time, he was able to contribute to Mr Doherty's recent album of FINE ENGLISH SONGS, which have gone a long way towards RESTORING ALBION and RESCUING ENGLAND FROM THE CHAVS. However, since Mr Doherty's release from CHOKEY, The General has had fewer opportunities to pursue his MUSIC than he would like. The music room at Pentonville has very few facilities: specifically, there is a tambourine made out of paper, and a triangle with no stick with which to strike it. Nevertheless, the General persevered, working during all his exercise breaks to compose a new magnus opus entitle 'THE LAST OF EMPIRE'.
That was until a week ago, when the white supremacists from C Wing attempted to turn the music room into a meth lab, and IMMOLATED it in the process. Now, as you may know, I Von Mises have no QUARREL with white supremacists so long as they do not RUB IT IN MY FACE or RAM IT DOWN MY THROAT, but I shared the General's belief that this action was most uncalled for.
Two days later, the General INTERRUPTED two of the white supremacists from C Wing while they were sorting books in the LIBRARY, and SHANKED them with a SHARPENED CRAYON which he had concealed in the small external pocket on the left BREAST of his overalls. The next day, after beating the General soundly and confining him to SOLITARY, the guards came round and TORE OFF the piece of fabric that comprised this pocket from all the prisoners' CLOTHES. Elsewhere, this would be seen as VIOLATION of a man's PRIVATE SPACE and PERSONAL PROPERTY - but this is Pentonville, where it is very rough, and SOCIALIST.
There is a MORAL to this story, which I hope is CLEAR.
Yours,
Von Mises. |
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