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Fuck the South

  
  

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LVX23
19:45 / 10.11.04
I couldn't resist passing this along to you lot...

http://www.fuckthesouth.com/

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.
 
 
subcultureofone
22:37 / 10.11.04
and there's this, too:

from How to tell if you're from a Red State or Blue State


Blue States: Home of good schools
Red States: Homeskooled good

Blue States: Want a big tent for their Party.
Red States: Wears a big tent to her party.

Blue States: Favor electric cars
Red States: Favor electric chairs

Blue States: Concerned about ballooning deficits' effect on capital markets turning gains into thin air
Red States: Concerned about whether it's demons that make balloons float in thin air

Blue States: Dream of making enough money to kite and swim with Czechs in Biarritz
Red States: Dream of kiting enough checks to swim in Schlitz

Blue States: Favor institutionalized health care for the poor
Red States: Favor institutionalizing the poor

Blue States: After the 9/11 attacks, put coffins in the ground
Red States: After the 9/11 attacks, put magnetic flags on the car

Blue States: Forget that God did not give Adam a Steve
Red States: Forget that not only did God give Abraham three wives, He gave Solomon 300 concubines

Blue States: Enormous cities that serve as the engines of human progress
Red States: Enormous Hummers that serve as the engines for Arab oil

Blue States: Provide the "tax" part of "tax and spend"
Red States: Provide the "spend on a new 8-lane highway to link a Wal-Mart to the Olive Garden" part of "tax and spend"

Blue States: Believe we're all brothers and sisters under the skin.
Red States: Don't mind if we're brothers and sisters under the sheets.

Blue States: Fighting to clean up skid row
Red States: Fighting to clean up skid marks

Blue States: Concerned about global warming
Red States: Don't like to travel and are too fat to fit in an airline seat anyway, so glad to hear that the tropics are coming to Texas. Yee-haw!

Blue States: Follow Jesus, but doesn't believe in Him
Red States: Believe in Jesus, but doesn't follow Him

Blue States: Want to repeal the Patriot Act
Red States: Want to repeal the Emancipation Proclamation

Blue States: Looking for a method to weaken China every day
Red States: Sold everyday china for a weekend of meth

Blue States: Favor drafting annoying laws on assault rifles
Red States: Assault annoying in-laws with rifles after being drafted

Blue States: Want the right for everyone to worship as they choose
Red States: Want the right to choose everyone's worship

Blue States: Women wrestling with the right to choose
Red States: Choose women's wrestling

Blue States: Want a rational energy policy
Red States: Want policy of energetic irrationalism

Blue States: Used benefits to assist victims on account of attacks
Red States: Used attacks to benefit Toby Keith's bank account

Blue States: Watched friends in New York die in foxy attacks on America
Red States: Attack New York on Fox for not being friends of America

Blue States: Believe God loves us and gave everyone free will to be different
Red States: Believe God willed us to freely hate everyone different

Blue States: Believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
Red States: Believe abstinence saves the tart from plunder

Blue States: Believe in Mr. Darwin's theory of "Evolution"
Red States: Believe in Mr. Jesus' "Talking Snake" theory

Blue States: Slave to pay inheritance taxes
Red States: Inherited slaves

Blue States: Buy art
Red States: Collect Beanie Babies
 
 
Sir Real
10:56 / 11.11.04
Because ridiculing the opposition worked so well last time.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:00 / 11.11.04
Nnngghh. Class or regional based prejudice is not the solution to the USA's problems.
 
 
diz
11:55 / 11.11.04
Because ridiculing the opposition worked so well last time.

we didn't ridicule them nearly so much as we sucked up to them. that didn't work so well, either, and, frankly, we need to stop worrying about winning so much as we need to focus on who we are and why we're trying to win.

Nnngghh. Class or regional based prejudice is not the solution to the USA's problems.

yes, actually, i think it very well might be, at least at this stage. the Red Americans have a coherent cultural identity, which leads them to have a core set of principles, a clear agenda, points to rally behind, etc. which lets them set the debate on their own terms and forces us into situations where we feel continually compelled to apologize for not being them.

the key to establishing a sense of identity, especially at first, is oppositionality. we define who we are by deciding who we're not, like teenagers defining themselves at first by not being their parents. that's just necessary and fundamental to the process. this is good and healthy right now.

the Fuck the South one is better, because it's more focused and devotes more attention to government policy.
 
 
Sir Real
12:58 / 11.11.04
the Fuck the South one is better, because it's more focused and devotes more attention to government policy.

I'm sorry, but I can't follow that logic. We should define ourselves by declaring communication impossible with a third of the population? Based on regionality?

Have you looked at the electoral maps broken down by counties? Please do. You'll see that in every state, including those bastions of enlightened thought, California and New York, the rural areas went red and the urban went blue. There's not as many large urban areas in the south. (Yes, I'm from the south, and perhaps a bit defensive about it. I feel fortunate to live in one of the few blue counties in North Carolina.)

Oppositionalty may well be a key to establishing identity, but I think that, after adolescence, understanding, refining and articulating our own values lets us make something out of that identity.
 
 
grant
17:37 / 11.11.04
More along those lines from Bull Moose, who points out one of the odd things that happened in the last election.

Dallas County, the heart of Republican Texas? They done elected themselves a lesbian Latina Democrat for sheriff. She's the law in them parts.

You figure it out.
 
 
alas
13:14 / 12.11.04
Actually, while of course ranting isn't going to solve anything, there's quite a bit of evidence that the South has had an undue amount of power in this country from the start. Partly this is the 2 senator rule, which has always disproportionately favored more rural states. When combined with the racist 3/5 rule in the Constitution, which--adding a massively cynical insult to the gravest injury ever inflicted on a people--gave white Southerners added political representation on the backs of their enslaved population, the South effectively controlled policy right up through the Civil War.

Finally, some historians argue that the South "won" the Civil War once Reconstruction ended. The slave codes were replaced by black codes that provided a cynical model for "compassionate conservativism" and their political power thus remained disproportionate, as blacks were kept from voting, while whites got added representation because of the population they added to the Southern states: the racism was still there and possibly more virulent once slavery ended, but now we could act as if the hideous legacy was "gone" and institute racist laws that are much more difficult to counter.

When did the Southern exodus from the Democratic party happen? After the Civil Rights movement. Now the South is solidly Republican.

And I should say: racism IS a problem both North and South. It's the way it has specifically intertwined with Labor and Class in the south that I'm especially concerned with--a spurious racial status has been the "wages" white folks all over this country have accepted in lieu of real wages, a safe environment, adequate medical care for all.

Here's a recent article that makes the point quite cogently that we are experiencing a poisoning of the whole body politic by traditional, white Southern values.

I have loved many Southerners, white and black, in my life. My family is a rural Iowa family that's not so different from the white Southerners I've met, but we are not so good at storytelling. My family's way too taciturn and Scandinavian.

The midwest/ plains states are, however, going down a path that was paved by the South--poor people, largely white but now blacks and latinos as well, are being set against some other group they get to designate as "lower" (gays, blacks), which serves as a distraction from the fact that their real wages are plummeting and the water they are drinking is polluted and the air they are breathing is dangerous and that if you are a poor man in this country, regardless of color, you are increasingly likely to spend your life in prison.

(Here's the stat I'm thinking of: 1 out of 75 men in the U.S. are in prison.. MY THESIS: That "lock 'em up" approach to class and poverty is a legacy of the black codes in the post-Reconstruction South, which were themselves a legacy of slavery, and we're all suffering from it now--financially and politically and spiritually.)
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:33 / 12.11.04
the key to establishing a sense of identity, especially at first, is oppositionality. we define who we are by deciding who we're not, like teenagers defining themselves at first by not being their parents. that's just necessary and fundamental to the process. this is good and healthy right now.

I'd agree with that as a generalised point. But some of the definitions above are things like "they're fat, not like us" - hey, if people want to define their priorities that way, have at it, but you can me out...
 
 
LVX23
05:21 / 13.11.04
Sheesh, lighten up... Who knew the revolution was gonna be so politically correct?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
06:56 / 13.11.04
Was this thread intended to be just a bit of a wheeze, them? I'm sorry, I didn't realise. As a way of saying sorry, I'll move for it to be shifted to the Conversation as appropriate.

What does 'politically correct' mean?
 
 
Persephone
10:19 / 13.11.04
"Political correctness" was, actually, a serious --and not entirely unsuccessful-- initiative by the left to revolutionize language. Now I guess it's just something that anybody pulls out, left or right, when they don't want talk about what they're saying. Or you know Phil Ochs definition of a liberal: five degrees to the left of center when you want to talk about revolution, five degrees to the right of center when you want to make fun of rednecks.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
10:33 / 13.11.04
D'you reckon Tom could adapt the board so that every time somebody tries to post that phrase it replaces it with "I am incapable of original thought"?
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
10:34 / 13.11.04
Don't you people understand anything? This is the sort of thing you're supposed to distribute without endorsing.

Please tell everyone you know that Blumerica does not endorse this shameful screed. This one here, it goes like this...
 
 
Persephone
10:53 / 13.11.04
"I am incapable of original thought"

Mmmm, I don't totally agree with that. I think it's more like, I have a little blind spot here. Probably that's my idea of paradise, where people are aware that they have blind spots & possibly where everybody carries around mirrors on sticks, to help everybody else out. Like that story when the people feed each other with the long spoons.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
10:54 / 13.11.04
"Political correctness" was, actually, a serious --and not entirely unsuccessful-- initiative by the left to revolutionize language itself.

Possibly... but there's a big and awkward gap in the relationship of concept and vocabulary that I get exercised about here or hereabouts.
 
 
Persephone
11:07 / 13.11.04
That goes to a post by Quantum? I read your post farther down, though. I totally agree about the concept/vocabulary thing. I'm just saying that I actually remember a time when you used to be able to say PC without irony. In retrospect, it's almost on a par with the Chevy Nova in Mexico --how did they think this would work? Now I always spell it with quotation marks. But the basic concept I'm still for.
 
 
Persephone
11:13 / 13.11.04
Nevermind, I had a little vocabulary/concept gap with "hereabouts"...
 
 
w1rebaby
11:22 / 13.11.04
I use the phrase "politically correct" quite a bit, to refer to the use of language and concepts in the interests of a political enterprise - you know, calling the invasion of Iraq "Operation Iraqi Freedom", or referring to the current regime there as the "Iraqi interim government" rather than "non-citizen US administration".
 
 
Spatula Clarke
11:36 / 13.11.04
I think it's more like, I have a little blind spot here.

Granted, but there's more to it than that. It's also, I don't have any intention of analysing that blind spot or even recognising that it exists. Instead, I'm going to use the terminology passed on to me by the tabloid press, who taught me long ago that there's no reason to question my own prejudices, to ridicule the position of those taking issue with those prejudices.

Fridge> This is pretty much just an extension of that usage, to be honest.
 
 
Persephone
13:15 / 13.11.04
Oh I know, I'm just saying that same person is probably capable of original thought in other areas. Like Einstein.

Re: when you used to be able to say PC without irony-- Radix just said, "Oh yeah, I remember those five minutes." (This with the blankets over his head, wishing the wife would please stop talking now.)
 
 
Spatula Clarke
13:30 / 13.11.04
Like Einstein.

Or Hitler!

(Hey, it's turned into a thread about the phrase 'politcal correctness'. Somebody was bound to mention him sooner or later. Better we get him out of the way now.)
 
 
LVX23
15:52 / 13.11.04
I posted the rant for two reasons: 1) because it accurately voices some of the frustrations that I and many "liberal intellectuals" have in the wake of this election (you have to at least admit that it's an excellent rant, as far as rants go), and 2) it manages to bring up a few very valid sociopolitical points, like those about population and economic distribution. I figured it would be a humorous jab at the folks who elected the guy that, you know, we all fear and loathe - not a call to sterilize all people below the Mason-Dixon line.

Trust me, I'm very much in favor of critical thinking and don't endorse reactionary stereotypes. The problem with "PC" is that it quickly became another empty homogenization of thought, forced onto people who supposedly don't know any better 'cause they're ignorant. Many liberal thinkers suffer from the annoying affliction of feeling that their college degrees give them the right to define how people should be able to relate to each other and to culture.

Furthermore, quibbling over stuff like this is the Achilles Heel of the Left - they can't ever really organize because there's so much contention over every little cause (the Palestine debate is a perfect example of how the Left sabotages itself through it's own political sensitivities), instead of standing behind a unified platform about the fundamental human issues (isn't it enough to say that the Israeli-Palestine situation is seriously fucked up and we as liberals need to help both sides find a peaceful solution?). *covers head with trash can lid to block rocks and bottles thrown by ANSWER die-hards*
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
16:01 / 13.11.04
There's been plenty of threads about Israel and Palestine if you want to go and actually contribute to one. Of course, you might want to raise your game a little higher than "anyone who invites a closer analysis of the situation than my own simplistic truism that ignores the power inequalities in the situation is some kind of extremist loony who is sabotaging the cause", but that's up to you.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
16:18 / 13.11.04
However, to clarify with regards to this thread, LVX23: my objections have always been more with the post that immediately followed yours. If you feel that:

Many liberal thinkers suffer from the annoying affliction of feeling that their college degrees give them the right to define how people should be able to relate to each other and to culture.

Then I'm surprised that you're not also annoyed by proposed dichotomies such as this:

Blue States: Buy art
Red States: Collect Beanie Babies
 
 
subcultureofone
17:46 / 13.11.04
i posted the red/blue state 'comparison' because i thought the thread was for examples of political ranting inspired by the election results. i find it offensive, too. i didn't post it because i _agreed_ with it. i live in alachua county, florida; i was born in metarie, louisiana. my grandparents were sharecroppers. i know that southerners aren't stupid and i thank you for not wanting to sterilize me!

i thought the reason for collecting the rants might be to examine some of these attitudes, as offensive as they may be.

i've done a lot of this when designing educational programs for hiv/aids and other reproductive health issues. i have to keep up with views i find offensive because the kkk still holds rallies in this city, residents voted to have 'sexual orientation' excluded from the city's anti-discrimination ordinance, miss america was banned from schools in a neighboring county because she wanted to say the word 'condom', law enforcement officials are openly anti-choice and refused to prosecute firebombings, etc. it helps to know what i'll be expected to counter [condoms have a 40% failure rate, mountain dew or mello yello can be used as birth control, heterosexual males can't get hiv].

though the majority of alachua county voters chose kerry, the surrounding counties [over 10,000 square miles] chose bush. given this location, i hear angry, ranting, venting comments like those expressed in the first two posts on a daily basis. of course i don't think this passes for political discussion, but it's difficult to have a discussion [at least in this area] when the offensive stuff hasn't been dealt with.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
20:13 / 13.11.04
Yeah, I certainly agree that we do have to examine these attitudes, which can also occur in a subtler and more insidious form than the rant you posted. I think it's a particular problem in the UK, where otherwise progressive/left-wing people (especially the middle class ones) seem often to fall into the trap of blaming the negative aspects of American culture, politics and policy on 'rednecks' or 'white trash'. It's very frustrating, because apologists for said negative aspects often strive to paint anyone who criticises them as being little more than cultural snobs, which is by no means the case... That's why I try stay vigilant and voice my disquiet when it is the case.

Hmmm, maybe this could be a Switchboard thread again yet...
 
 
alas
20:56 / 13.11.04
You know, David Brooks, a conservative was the one who really argued for the red/blue distinction as a political AND cultural distinction, and, honestly, his argument is only slightly more nuanced than the list cited above.

Still, I live here in the red zone and let me tell you: the local art museum DOES sell beanie babies in the gift shop--or did a few years ago. In fact, when I let slip a chuckle at seeing them, the clerk explained that they were their best selling item. People'd come in, ignore the museum entirely, and just check out the latest beanies.

I'm serious. So, ok, this red/blue thing is way oversimplified and probably damaging in that regard, but there are grains of truth there that apparently both sides can see.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
21:26 / 13.11.04
Yeah, but what do Beanie Babies have to do with anything in the first place? Unless the charities Ty Warner likes to donate to are abstinence-based sex education programmes and pro-life groups, these toys strike me as a fairly neutral hobby. On the other hand, it's not as if 'high' art isn't often packed with reactionary/right-wing messages.

Obviously culture and politics are always connected, I just think we have to be smart about unpicking what the connections are...
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
23:12 / 13.11.04
The problem with "PC" is that it quickly became another empty homogenization of thought, forced onto people who supposedly don't know any better 'cause they're ignorant.

Hmmm. Have you read anything that anyone on Barbelith has said in a series of lengthy discussions about the term "Political Correctness", LVX23? Might be a place to start.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
00:35 / 14.11.04
Do you need to read pages and pages on the term 'politically correct' when you can watch a little TV and realise it's only ever used to excuse people who drink and drive, want to smoke in a hospital or make racist comments about Arabs (because apparently they all dance in dusty streets. Even children of Iranian descent who grew up in Harrow.)? Well apparently some people do. I suppose that Melanie Philips is also a nice woman underneath all of that bile.

The point being that this is not a term that's ever going to make sense because it's only used by idiots. I understand that you might not have noticed, in which case I suggest you start to note down the names of the people on TV who use it. You'll see. Don't be an idiot.
 
 
Mazarine
02:00 / 14.11.04
Speaking to the original thread topic:

On behalf of all the Southerners who voted democrat, kiss my Dixie ass. You didn't have to cringe as all your state's electoral college votes went to W. I've lived in New York and Connecticut, and I met plenty of conservative fuckwads up there, except they didn't say "thank you" when someone held a door for them. Your cute little 'rant' is a fucking insult to those of us who live down here who gave our money, time and votes fighting an uphill battle against Bush's re-election.
 
 
LVX23
02:47 / 14.11.04
I've no objection to further analysis of the socioeconomic factors that might support or refute the method and intention of the original posts. I was simply surprised that folks felt it necessary to do so. It's just a rant in the heat of the moment that some guy threw out there because he was pissed off at the shameful hoisting of democracy by BushCo. I try my best to evaluate people on a person-by-person basis, but I'll admit to being frustrated and annoyed at the large swath of red across Middle America. I mean, shit! If the one state that was actually attacked by terrorists voted against the president by a sizeable majority, shouldn't that say something to the rest of the country???

But I digress. Tannhauser wrote:Hmmm. Have you read anything that anyone on Barbelith has said in a series of lengthy discussions about the term "Political Correctness", LVX23? Might be a place to start.

Look, I live in Santa Cruz, California. I went to Kresge College at UCSC. We fucking invented Political Corretness(Tm).

Fnord up, Lord Morgue!

Sally, Kudos. And it most certainly is not my cute little rant. I just passed it along in a moment of stinging defeat at the hands of those folks across the county hypnotized by the corporate wizards running our country into the ground. There were plenty out here in Cali, too.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
02:59 / 14.11.04
A resounding confirmation of headphones galore from LVX23 and he does not win this glorious Fridge-Freezer with ice dispenser.

  
 
LVX23
03:04 / 14.11.04
What?! Weak! My fridge sucks!
 
  

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