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Lateshifting ALL OVER!

 
  

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iamus
02:31 / 02.11.04
DAMMIT!!!!


Boom-TSCH!
 
 
Papess
02:33 / 02.11.04
BWAHAHAHA!...cuntstubble


hehehe
 
 
Saint Keggers
02:33 / 02.11.04
A guy walks into a bar with a large piece of asphalt. He says "I'd like a drink and one for the road"
 
 
Saint Keggers
02:34 / 02.11.04
Boom-tsh!!!
 
 
iamus
02:35 / 02.11.04
Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
02:35 / 02.11.04
Now, Meludreen, what do you say next? Hmm?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
02:36 / 02.11.04
Bloody hell! I was referring to the previous joke! You guys are too fast for me.

And when did I become such a rimshot fascist?
 
 
iamus
02:36 / 02.11.04
Hold on.....

I know this one........


TSCH-Bo... No, hold on....

Boom-TSCH?
 
 
Saint Keggers
02:38 / 02.11.04
"rimshot fascist" that sounds bad no matter the context.
 
 
Saint Keggers
02:40 / 02.11.04
Favorite t-shit slogan: I fucked that girl from Hansen
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
02:40 / 02.11.04
Another guy walks into the same bar, strangely enough also carrying a piece of asphalt. "I'm not serving him", says the barman to the guy, "he's a fucking cycle path".
 
 
Alex's Grandma
02:40 / 02.11.04
Ok, well 'night everyone. Sweet dreams. Ideally about the wonderousness of Steve.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
02:41 / 02.11.04
Shit. Hoist by my own petard. Boom-TSCH.
 
 
Papess
02:41 / 02.11.04

I once was on a plane where I was served by a flambouyant and obviously homosexual, male flight attendant. At one point, he bounced over to where I was sitting and announced "The Captain has asked me to announce that he will be landing the big scary plane shortly, so if you could just put up your trays, that would be great."

I did as he had instructed but the woman sitting next to me did not. A few moments later, the flight attendant came back and said to her: "Ma'am, perhaps you couldn't hear me over the big loud engine, but I asked you to please put up your tray so that the captain can land the plane." She still wouldn't comply.

Now he was getting angry and asked her again to put up the tray. She then calmly turned to him and said: "In my country, I am called a princess. I take orders from no one."

Our flight attendant replied: "Oh yeah? Well in MY country, I'm called a queen and I out-rank you bitch, so put the tray up!"
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
02:42 / 02.11.04
[snigger]
 
 
Papess
02:42 / 02.11.04
riiight..Boom-TSCH.
 
 
Saint Keggers
02:46 / 02.11.04
Back in the olden days when Samurai were important, there was a powerful Japanese Emperor who needed a new Chief Samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world of that time that he was searching for a CHIEF Samurai. A year passed, but only 3 people applied for the very demanding position;

1. a Japanese Samurai
2. a Chinese Samurai
3. a Jewish Samurai

The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be the chief Samurai. The Japanese Samurai opened a match box, and out popped a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his sword, and the bumblebee dropped dead on the ground.

The emperor exclaimed "That is very impressive!"

The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese Samurai, to come in and demonstrate why
he should be chosen. The Chinese samurai also opened a match box and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh! And the fly dropped dead on the ground in four small pieces.

The emperor exclaimed: "That is VERY impressive!"

Now the emperor turned to the Jewish Samurai, and asked him to demonstrate why he should be the Chief Samurai. The Jewish Samurai also opened a match box, and out flew a gnat. His flashing sword went Whoosh! But the gnat was still alive and flying around.

The emperor, obviously disappointed, said: "Very ambitious!, but why is that gnat not dead?"

The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said: "Circumcision is not meant to kill."

Boom-tsh!
 
 
Papess
02:46 / 02.11.04
Good night Alex!

And don't waste your time dreaming about Steve, he ain't worth it hon.
 
 
Papess
02:51 / 02.11.04
Oh boy...a Samurai Mohel.

That even makes me cringe.
 
 
iamus
02:52 / 02.11.04
Oh, dear, dear me, Keggers. Dear, dear me.

I have the best fucking joke in the world, but unfortunately it's dead long and won't translate into text at all. If I can record it, I'll try and post it on the web somewhere. It involves the word purple, and it'll make you spit milk out your nose. Sorry I can't do anything but tease (just understand that it kills me being unable to tell it).

btw.

I pedalled that "New pirates movie that's ultra-violent. It's rated ARRRRRRRRR!" joke all around work.

The response wasn't unanimously positive, but it did raise a few chuckles.
 
 
iamus
02:57 / 02.11.04
Right you lovely, lovely people. I have to take my leave of you all now, bed beckons.
Thank you for your chat and jokes (and your picture K, Rrrrrrrr!).

See you all soon.
 
 
Papess
02:59 / 02.11.04
Good night Meludreen, and I am off to join you in slumberland. See ya there!

Good night all. Thanks for the giggles.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
03:12 / 02.11.04
Night kids. It's a couple more hours' work for me, then sweet, sweet sleep.
 
 
Bed Head
00:27 / 03.11.04
*starts engine, switches lights on*

Anybody else sitting glued to Radio 4 tonight? Lovely James Naughtie.

Oh, pleasepleaseplease don’t let evil triumph tonight. I’ve got a *special* bottle of wine ready to celebrate a Kezza victory, and I’d *really* like to be able to have a glass for breakfast. Just a glass, on the basis of some good provisionals. It’s ready to drink, it’s not going to improve with four more years in the bottle. Perhaps I should have explained all this in a letter to an Ohio voter.
 
 
Mazarine
00:39 / 03.11.04
I am (also) drinking. I have a lousy red at my disposal., and not much of that. I will start drinking the cooking marsala if I run out. I should have stocked up better on liquor, but it's probably best that I did not.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
00:47 / 03.11.04
I'm currently sitting at work watching the BBC website and worrying... and snapping at anyone who comes within ten feet of my desk cos I haven't had a drink in nearly two days. Grr. I imagine one way or the other I'll have a few when the election's all over, though.
 
 
Mazarine
00:53 / 03.11.04
Depending on how it falls, I may be drinking for the next four years.
 
 
Mazarine
00:56 / 03.11.04
The esteemed Doctor Thompson has posted another column on ESPN.com's Page 2. Let's hope I don't fuck up the HTML.
 
 
unheimlich manoeuvre
01:03 / 03.11.04
hello barbelites.
i am glued to BBC Radio 4, like Bedhead.

what is going on?!?
"too close to call"?
"bellweather Missouri stays Republican"?
 
 
Bed Head
01:12 / 03.11.04
Splendid link, excellent HTML, and what a beautiful man. God bless Dr Thompson.

And, fie. I don’t think Missouri is particularly ‘bellweather’. Not if they disagree with me.
 
 
Saint Keggers
02:04 / 03.11.04
Keggers here: I am feelig soo good/sad. A person who (*more than anyone in a LONG time) has brought me out of my shell is destined to be whisped away from me. I cant explain howm uch she has mennt to me as I still don't comprehend the infintitesimal portions of ways that she's forced me to transfer fron the tonal to the nagual . In the vernacular, withgout getting verbose, she FUCKING ROCKS!!!!
Kegs out...Ground Control to Mjr.Tom..."
 
 
Mazarine
02:13 / 03.11.04
i don't even know what bellweather means.

i'm out of alcohol, except for listerine and cooking marsala. I tried the marsala mixed with coca cola, but it was utter swill.
 
 
Bed Head
02:28 / 03.11.04
Christ, I’m still waiting to *start* drinking. A tall glass of Listerine ‘n soda sounds fantastic right now. I think maybe it's the Bush strategy emerging, to declare Republican numbers quickly and then fix it so all Dem votes are collated and counted as slow-w-wly as possible, which could mean me going rather thirsty for a while yet. And just when I most need a drink, too.

The evil bastards. They won’t break me, with their diabolical plan.
 
 
Papess
02:33 / 03.11.04
I LOVE YOU KEGGERS!

Oh dear, how wonderful...the things you say! I can only respond with DITTO!. I LOVE YOU TOOO.
 
 
Papess
02:33 / 03.11.04
I LOVE YOU KEGGERS!

Oh dear, how wonderful...the things you say! I can only respond with DITTO!. I LOVE YOU TOOO.
 
  

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