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Ganesh
19:27 / 13.10.04
Indeed. Not so much wingman as wannabe-ringman. You're trying to recreate it all with James, but it's aaallll about Steve.
 
 
iconoplast
20:23 / 13.10.04
When I was growing up, all the ladies from the neighborhood would come to watch movies at my house. Movies like untamed heart and ghost, and I would be playing with my GI JOES in the next room

By which you mean: (1) Untamed Heart and Ghost are movies for women. (2) You were a strictly normal hetero boy, and thus playing with your GI JOES (mas macho emphasis yours) in the next room.

when my mom would yell to me, 'Ben come in here!' She would rewind whatever movie they were watching, and play some scene of the lead guy being a total moron, or saying some terrible and hurtful thing. Then she would pause the movie and a room full of middle aged women, all with tissues and popcorn, would look at me, and my mom would say,

..."You're in love with him, aren't you? It's okay, you know. You don't have to keep pretending."
 
 
Baz Auckland
21:10 / 13.10.04
I still manage to get out on a date at least once a week, and been lucky enough not to wind up married...

umm... is it really 'luck' that you're not married? I didn't know the effort was in avoiding marriage...
 
 
lekvar
21:12 / 13.10.04
I get a call on my cell, James on the other end of the line "Dude! You screwed me!..."

And James too?
 
 
Char Aina
22:44 / 13.10.04
We think you're in love with Steve, as a human and a sexual being.


...and ben thinks its just banter.

bless.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
04:36 / 14.10.04
Tune in next week for tales of sexy super Steve and his wacky wing man !

Well I will, for sure. Could you arrange it though, Ben, that in the latest example of frankly shocking misogyny, there might be at least a few more hot pics of Steve ?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
08:21 / 14.10.04
We need a Steve forum.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
08:21 / 14.10.04
Like sitting on a golden toilet

Lenin reference. Fiendishly clever.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
08:22 / 14.10.04
For some reason, the phrase "golden toilet" always makes me think of that joke that ends "Oy Len! Is this the bloke that's been shitting in your tuba?"
 
 
Gypsy Lantern
08:46 / 14.10.04
My favourite part of this thread is the bit about "making out with other girls in dark corners".

It brings a whole film noir aspect to the tale.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
10:52 / 14.10.04
Ben fancies Steve? It struck me that Ben was jealous of what he saw as Steve and James sexual success. I do so like a Barbelith soap opera, the scandelettes, the bitter recriminations, its like Dawson's Creek if everyone was really clever and new a lot about Derrida.

My golden toilet's green, and smells funny.
 
 
Ganesh
10:57 / 14.10.04
Ben doesn't just fancy Steve; he's in love with Steve and his whole alpha-maley, pleasure-trailey Steveness. Unsatisfactory fumblings with sub-standard females are the price he pays (and, masochistically, rather enjoys paying) for giddily orbiting the Wonder of Steve. It's the bittersweet-yet-mildly-irritating Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name, Dude.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
11:20 / 14.10.04
Oh, I see. But then won't Steve's sport sex antics be very painful for Ben? Doubly so if not only is he in love with Steve but has learnt true respect for "the ladies" by watching Ghost, not only is Steve ignoring Ben for meaningless sex but he is behaving in a way that surely Ben's mum would not approve of, for all we know Steve may be such a brute that he may not even open the door for "the ladies" he engages in noiresque illicit couplings with. The brute! Poor, poor Ben.
 
 
Ganesh
11:42 / 14.10.04
Ahh, but Steve's effortlessly casual brutality with the ladeeeez is one of the things that makes him burn so very very brightly in Ben's shining eyes...
 
 
Gypsy Lantern
11:46 / 14.10.04
My mother raised me to be a gentleman. She still smacks me if I don't open a door for her.

Do you read a lot of Garth Ennis comics?
 
 
Spatula Clarke
12:09 / 14.10.04
Misread that last post from 'Nesh as

Ahh, but Steve's effortlessly casual brutality with the ladeeeez is one of the things that makes his bum so very very tight in Ben's shining eyes..

It's a mark of this thread that it made sense like that.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
12:10 / 14.10.04
"But later in that same movie, she would yell for me, and again have the movie paused, and she would show me a scene of that rare moment when a man does something extraordinary, or says the right thing for once. And that same group of ladies, all eyes on me, and my mom would say 'now son, that is how you treat a lady."

Pure dead brilliant.
Have you met the Fireman?
 
 
Spaniel
13:04 / 14.10.04
Sorry, as a late comer to Ben's posts, (read: yet to be bored) they currently rank as comedy genius.
 
 
ibis the being
14:33 / 14.10.04
whole alpha-maley, pleasure-trailey Steveness

Ew! Eeeewwwwww....

(Damn you Ganesh. The phrase has such a nice rhythm, it's going to run through my brain all day.)
 
 
Papess
15:49 / 14.10.04
Hey Ben, I have a strap-on. You think Steve will go for it?

I mean, since I am a girl he can still continue to charade as a macho heterosexual male, but he will be able to close his eyes and imagine James or you and enjoy some of his secret pleasures.

Hell, I can even do him in his closet and high five him after we are done.


On second thought...
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
16:02 / 14.10.04
MacGyver: When Titans collide
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
17:49 / 14.10.04
Hey BarbeLillith perhaps you and Ben could spit roast Steve, the presence of a girl could help convince them both it's good clean misogynist fun.
 
 
Ganesh
18:01 / 14.10.04
Absolutely. Getting hard for hardons is all well and hetgood when there's a woman in the room.
 
 
HCE
18:04 / 14.10.04
"Hell, I can even do him in his closet and high five him after we are done."

I MUST find a way to work that sentence into a conversation today.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
19:39 / 14.10.04
persephone: They were all like "man why is this thing going off like this" and I was like "I dunno, maybe it's broken". Then I kicked 'em in the nogs and ran like hell. That's how you steal a sneak-o-scope.

Anyway, I think maybe we're all being to hard on James and Steve and their blatantly obvious longings for one another. They may be bastards towards women, but remember, American television can really fuck you up in the head if you're not careful, and some kids are more impressionable than others.
 
 
Papess
20:38 / 14.10.04
Hey BarbeLillith perhaps you and Ben could spit roast Steve...

Hog-tied and gagged with an apple? Oh yeah! Gawd, that is better than ass-candling!

I think Ben is alright, he is just a little wet behind the ears. It takes a little while to get used to the climate at this attitude...err, altitude. But eventually, we all start to enjoy the piss take.

Hey Ben, since you are being such a good boy, why don't you get your baster and I will let you baste Steve.

MMM! MMM! MMM! MMM!

What's that Steve? You would really, really like that?
 
 
Ganesh
21:02 / 14.10.04
No, no, no! Lillith, you're ruining the scene: the woman isn't supposed to talk, much less interact. She's there as passive proof of everyone's Hot Het Power. Now, lie down and think of pleasure trails...
 
 
iamus
21:15 / 14.10.04
And if there should be a little accidental cock-to-cock touching during the double blow-jobs, well that can't really be avoided.
 
 
Papess
21:32 / 14.10.04
Then I shall talk in a low husky voice and dress Ben in drag. After all Ganesh, I am not the one an with apple in their mouth...or anything else for that matter!

However, Meludreen I take it you are volunteering your services? Nevermind, it is difficult to give blowjobs with the receipient on a spit. Besides, Ben looks sooo pretty...
 
 
eddie thirteen
21:37 / 14.10.04
Not to virtually cockblock poor Ben or anything here, but this whole Audition-type thing is kinda working for me; what the hell is MY problem? Please, I insist, keep going...you put the guy on a spit and you smile all seductively and THEN....
 
 
Ganesh
21:39 / 14.10.04
Tt. This is precisely why good ol'-fashioned heterosex is better without the women present. They just have to spoil it for everyone...
 
 
iamus
21:46 / 14.10.04
Lillith, I'm flattered that you'd let me. It's beyond my comprehension that anybody would knowingly pass up Steve.
 
 
lekvar
21:51 / 14.10.04
OK, it's obvious that Lillith's presence as a woman is causing some consternation, so we take this all the way. She has the strap-on, so I move that she become tha heteronormative male and ben be the passive female, since he clearly understands so much from watching "Ghost." Therefore Lillith is now a male by the virtue of posessing a phallus, and ben can gracefully fall back to the role he was meant to play.

Let the games begin!
 
 
Papess
22:19 / 14.10.04
Meludreen, imagine his shock. How do you think I got the apple in his mouth?

Oh, Lekvar do I get to treat Steve like a swooning under-par female who is barely worth the bukake marinade he is going to be tenderized with?

Ben...I'm kinda liking Ben.

Ben, hon...be a doll and go get me a beer wouldya?

*smacks Ben on the ass*
 
 
lekvar
23:14 / 14.10.04
And ben, would it kill ya to freshin up a bit, doll?
 
  

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