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So here I am in the midst of some sweet afternoon. It is extremely still outside and dry. With the sky the shade of grey that only lets the leaves burn brighter. I am an Autumn baby, I was named at a fairy rath and the coming of Autumn never fails to make me feel that the cobwebs are blowing from my brain, rustling in fresher winds. I do not like the lengthening of nights but nevertheless, I would miss the Autumn if I lived in less temperate zones.
Isn't it funny how in the US they call Autumn the Fall? I get the obvious reference to falling leaves but I snag on the capitalisation. It puts me in mind of the Biblical version.
My window is open and the air is most perfect for Halloween. That fresh light scent.
I should say at this point that I've lurked on this thread a long time now - a closet Halloween-lover. I so admire the rituals, the poetry, the dedication. If I were at home in Ireland I would have tried a few little rituals of my own but it doesn't feel right to me here, plus I'm living in much closer quaters with other people who I don't really know and I wouldn't want to alarm them.
I'm far more upset than I care to admit over not having a proper, costume Halloween shindig to go to. Last year, I had a fabulous time. I dressed as an elfin maiden, with pointed ears and a tunic stitched with fallen leaves. I tried to embody that sense of mischief and fun, juxtaposed with being ancient and elemental. And to a great extent, inwardly at least, I suceeded. Many of the other guests agreed I made the perfect elf and there were even suggestions that I should dress like that every day. If only I could get away with it....Anyway, I feel awfully cheated that I won't get to explore my personae publically again this year. Pah, I say. Hence, this long winded ramble. I'm sorry if it comes rather awkwardly in the scheme of things, and isn't very enlightening, I just had an overwhelming desire to mark Samhain. Seeing as you people are all as, if not more, crazy about the occasion as I am I thought that this would be the place to come.
We always celebrated Samhain in my house. In Ireland in the early '80s it wasn't such a big deal, possibly because the Irish saw the connection with Paganism more clearly than mainstream US, and were too scared of the Church or whatever. But my ma is American so she took the tradition home. We used to have what seemed a huge bonfire in our garden. My mother was the kitchen witch, completely in character. We had all the trappings and games, in a home-made kind of way, as you wouldn't have gotten much merchandise beyond nuts and pumpkins. The bonfire I remember well. Thinking in a childish unformed way that if I looked into the heat-shimmer in the air long enough, I would see through to the otherworld. I know I was scared, certainly, in a thrilled way. In rural Wexford circa 1986, there weren't many streetlights to be had. It was properly dark round our way, so black in places you may as well have been underground. We would get taken round trick or treating in a van, walking up the laneways on the protective circle of torchlight.
I can't grasp what it is exactly that delights me so much about the Haunting Season. I revel in the fact that it's the only mainstream holiday inextricably tied to Paganism. They tried to Christianise it of course, with all that All Saints/Souls business, but it just didn't take, even though they managed the metamorphoses with most other Pagan festivals. That gives me a happy alright. It's also the costume part of things, for I think that most people reveal facets of themselves they can't normally express - even the parade of bunny girls and gangsters are living through a mischeivous element that doubtlessly isn't exposed every day. The masquerade, the Trickster element. The mask/costume that reveals as it conceals. And of course, the spiritual side. The spirits themselves. Not exclusively confined to Halloween of course and yet I feel they make their presence especially known on this night, even in the urban areas where they are often harder to sense. There are the individual spirits and then the Spirit of the occasion, Jack Skellington, if you will, and their sense of fun and terror permeates the night. Trick or Treat?
I hope this doesn't come across as rude. I know I have been self-referential and haven't shared a ritual that others could take part in. But I wish you all a phantasmagorically fantastic Halloween and a beautifully haunting Samhain. And remember, if you do fall through to the otherworld, just don't partake of the feast. Unless of course you prefer it there.
xxSV |
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