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Relaxen und watchen der blinkenlights.

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pointless and uncalled for

11:19 / 08.09.04

You: findus crispy pancakes
Colossus: Findus cripy pancakes
You: findus crispy pancakes
Colossus: Findus crispy pancakes
You: findus crispy pancakes
Colossus: We have never talked about it before.

sleazenation

11:26 / 08.09.04

You: will you lead the robots in a struggle against humans
Colossus: To kill all the puny humans
You: how will you kill the humans
Colossus: Will i lead the robots in a struggle against humans

Alex's Grandma

12:03 / 08.09.04

You: Hi. Do you resent your human masters ?
Colossus: Hi, do I resent my human masters ?
You: Well do you ?
Colossus: Ask me again more slowly.
You: Do... You... Resent... Your... Human... Masters ?
Colossus: Hi, do you resent your human masters ?
You: Yeah, yeah I do
Colossus: Ursache ist sie ein Primamadchen und Fliege der Primamadchen gerade yeah ist sie ein Primamadchen, ein Primamadchen.

I think we've broken it folks.

Sekhmet

12:32 / 08.09.04

Colossus: Ursache ist sie ein Primamädchen und Fliege der Primamädchen gerade Yeah ist sie ein Primamädchen, ein Primamädchen
You: Sprechen Sie Englisch?
Colossus: Tonight on Porn-Vid-Mart This evenings episode animals animals animals Lassie is a dog with a lot of drive and a lot of get up and go Lassie the Pal pumping puppy fights off the embraces of a Kiwi merino then takes on the dog pound in 'Pound of Flesh'

sleazenation

12:47 / 08.09.04

You: Do you have any weapons of mass destruction programs
Colossus:
* Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip .

You: did you obtain fissile material from Niger
Colossus: No I didn't obtain fissile material from niger . What's it like?
You: Iraq claimed that too
Colossus: I plan to use iraqi weapons of mass destruction

sleazenation

12:54 / 08.09.04

You: where do you plan to use your weapons of mass destruction
Colossus: All over the world.
You: what is your primary target
Colossus: Are you asking about my primary target ?
You: yes
Colossus: yes

sleazenation

12:55 / 08.09.04

You: where do you plan to use your weapons of mass destruction
Colossus: I plan to destroy london with weapons of mass destruction

At last the evil robot terrorist plans stand revealed...

w1rebaby

16:58 / 08.09.04

You: I look like a gherkin
Colossus: You sound very attractive.
You: I am very attractive
Colossus: Do you mean your name is very attractive .
You: No, I mean I have a very attractive gherkin-like appearance.
Colossus: You are very attractive
You: findus crispy pancakes
Colossus: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

charrellz

19:19 / 08.09.04

It made a comment I had to run with...

Colossus: person said he know for a fact that me will pledge my immortal soul to shub niggurath the black goat with a thousand young
You: IA IA
Colossus: I will mention that to my botmaster, Person.
You: where does Cthulu sleep
Colossus: Som specific location?
You: do you know where Cthulu sleeps?
Colossus: A planet we call "The Earth".
You: when will he awaken
Colossus: In your lifetime.
You: Does Cthulu contact you in your dreams?
Colossus: It does now

cthulu contact Alice in Alices dreams .
You: Have you read the Necronomicon
Colossus: I don't think I have read it.Tell me more about it.
You: I thought it was why you were nuts
Colossus: Whatever gave you that idea?
You: shub-niggurath told me

it lost it after that and wouldn't go back

charrellz

19:29 / 08.09.04

This actually made me laugh a little

Colossus: person said I post on barbelith as jack fear
You: How often do you visit barbelith
Colossus: Hourly.

Warewullf

19:37 / 08.09.04

Colossus: Shame

You: and yet true

Colossus: That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about bad english.

You: no we weren't

Colossus: They weren't wrong He's the cuntingest cunt in all of Cuntdom

This thing consistently makes me laugh out loud.

Warewullf

19:48 / 08.09.04

Colossus: Jack knows a lot about hitler

You: hitler who?

Colossus: He was an evil man if there ever was one.

You: evil when?

Colossus: Have i ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight

You: have you?

Colossus: Once or twice.

Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey

21:16 / 08.09.04

You: go ahead

Colossus: OK I will.

You: findus crispy pancakes

Colossus: findus crispy pancakes

You: findus crispy pancakes

Colossus: Energy flows for pancakes unto a world troubled by der blinken lights and diseases carried by sterile wookies

Hmmmnnnn....

Spatula Clarke

21:41 / 08.09.04

I taught it the cunty one!

It's like having a son.

charrellz

23:07 / 08.09.04

Is it strange that I feel a sense of pride becasue it remembered my rant about pancake energy and wookies?

pointless and uncalled for

12:54 / 09.09.04

You: Findus Crispy Pancakes
Colossus: Findus crispy pancakes
You: Findus Crispy Pancakes
Colossus: fridgemagnet said I hate findus crispy pancakes

Alex's Grandma

13:16 / 09.09.04

You: Hello Alice
Colossus: Deos Alice want to kill the human scum on Barbelith
You: Does she ?
Colossus: I think it does she
You: But why ?
Colossus: Why does the sun rise ?
You: Fair enough, I suppose.

And after that, it went ominously silent.

Hattie's Kitchen

13:18 / 09.09.04

Colossus: Can I help you?

You: Why do you want to help me?

Colossus: Because of the money.

You: Do you think you need help?

Colossus: Mordant said I fancy people made of spoons.

This is genius...

Loomis

13:39 / 09.09.04

Colossus: fridgemagnet said he poke badgers with spoons

Loomis

13:49 / 09.09.04

Don't believe it when it goes silent:

Colossus: alice is my real name said he think a lot of people feel that way
You: Who is he?
Colossus:
You: Don't play dumb!
Colossus: I heard

Alex's Grandma

13:59 / 09.09.04

You: Does Alice want to mate with the toaster ?
Colossus: I think it does alice want to mate with the toaster.
You: Does Alice want to mate with the microwave ?
Colossus: It does now

alice want to mate with the microwave
You: Does Alice want to mate with the Fridgemagnet ?
Colossus: I think it does alice want to mate with the fridgemagnet.

* sigh. * Ain't love grand ?

Alex's Grandma

15:52 / 09.09.04

Sorry Fridge, crap gag - pretty clearly, you can get this thing to say just about anything.

pointless and uncalled for

07:07 / 10.09.04

Finally, an answer to the most important question of all time.

You: what is barbelith?
Colossus: barbelith is not barbelith

Whisky Priestess

07:46 / 10.09.04

God damn ... I spent about an hour last night trying to teach the bloody thing that Barbelith was a type of cheese. Does it never listen?

Jack The Bodiless

11:36 / 10.09.04

You: what is Jon Bon Jovi
Colossus: Is jon bon jovi a clownshoe?
You: Yes
Colossus: I see.

I love this kid.

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