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The Lying Thread

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Jub

07:32 / 27.08.04

Last night I had dinner with Natalie Portman in a little Bistro in soho, and she kept "accidentally" touching my bits under the table.

**

There is no conflict in Iraq.

**

Of course you don't look fat!

Grey Area

07:38 / 27.08.04

I am Napoleon!

pointless and uncalled for

07:45 / 27.08.04

I invented huggles and you all owe me a lot of royalties.

Alex's Grandma

07:54 / 27.08.04

All that nonsense to do with the so-called " Purgatory " - Me grandad's mate was mates with Billy Butlin, and Billy's ideas were even then independent, even then, back then.

Even back then he was always a dreamer.

How well I remember those red, staring eyes.

Alex's Grandma

08:17 / 27.08.04

I am very interested in whatever it is that Lord Morgue is a star in, comic-strip-wise. I can't wait for the next installment, and I have followed it avidly.

ONLY NICE THINGS

08:27 / 27.08.04

I actually feel better on a Friday morning if I've had a few beers, stayed up late and enjoyed the fine fare of the local chip shop on the way home.

Perfect Tommy

08:31 / 27.08.04

Of course I'm not attracted to her. Ew. Girls have cooties anyway.

Lilly Nowhere Late

08:37 / 27.08.04

That's too bad, cause she really likes you.

Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey

08:40 / 27.08.04

That blackhead in the crease of your nose, you know, that really obvious one, it actually makes you look sexy.

And so does that habit you have. You know, that habit...

pointless and uncalled for

08:47 / 27.08.04

I love it when it rains on my way to work. I especially love the way that my summer tyres have plenty of tread and don't slide around on the wet surface at all.

I have no intention of lining drivers up against the wall and shooting them.

I will happily treat all fuckwit drivers to a nice cup of tea and a foot massage.

Smoothly

08:53 / 27.08.04

There is no way at all that this thread is going to degenerate into witless sarcasm and passive aggressive bitchery.

No star here laces

08:59 / 27.08.04

My posting on barbelith is a positive choice and definitely has nothing whatsoever with having nothing better to do at that particular moment in time.

pointless and uncalled for

09:01 / 27.08.04

Which is a good thing because you would be the only one if you did.

Alex's Grandma

09:11 / 27.08.04

Mm. You're right ST. Enough negativity.

Ok, well mainly I'm looking forward to my Indian Summer wedding with my childhood sweetheart, the one who's being waiting for me all these years while I set about, successfully, changing the world. In my own small way, I think that the world be a much better place thanks to my efforts, and I feel good about that. As does Maddonna, who I'm happy to say will be showing up at the ceremony, along with Elton John.

10:46 / 27.08.04

Can I come? I love weddings.

Sax

10:57 / 27.08.04

Why oh why isn't there more heroic fantasy on the bookshelves?

Haus of Mystery

11:18 / 27.08.04

Earnest singer/songwriters rule my world.

Sir Real

11:19 / 27.08.04

I hate this thread, it's stupid.

Saveloy

11:50 / 27.08.04

I found some cheats you can use around the house. If you face North, cock your head to the left and punch yourself in the arse three times you get infinite gas and electricity. Open all the doors and windows in the house, run all the taps and go and stand in the cupboard and you get a hoover with a bag that never fills up. Try it, it really works.

Alex's Grandma

12:24 / 27.08.04

I agree. As I survey the kingdom I've created for myself, of Archer-esque proportions, though I remain the Henry the 4th part 2 to his... to the other guy, his father, I guess, whatever - that in no sense denigrates from the fact that I'm possibly the most interesting item that is currently gracing the scene in London ( deb balls and such like - the other day I had the opportunity to meet Prince Harry, lovely bloke - when " H " calls you " A " you're part of " the set, " as The Daily Mail has it. )

And Zara Philips and I have a date tomorrow.

I don't know where, it's all a big secret, but Prince Charles is flying me there, ( Prince Charles ! ) and if I can't work out exactly it is that the helicopter lands, it'll only because of the red mist really, and not the silver one, at all.

Benny the Ball

13:56 / 27.08.04

The Austin Power's Films are great, I especially love it when people do impressions of the characters in them.

grant

14:04 / 27.08.04

Sorry, I never lie.

Saveloy

14:07 / 27.08.04

You won't be flying anywhere with Prince C tomorrow, Alex, cos he's promised to give me piggy-back rides all day as a reward for measuring the longest worm in Britain. It was passing through my garden on the way to a Star Trek convention (it was dolled up like Jean Luc Picard) and I measured it with one of those wheels on a stick. 600 miles long. Took 2 hours, so it must have been doing an average of 300 mph. The CIA interrogated me about it afterwards but I only gave them the barest details so they killed me. I was dead on the slab for 4 days, but it was alright cos I'd done one of the cheats for infinite life.

Sax

14:27 / 27.08.04

grant: Sorry, I never lie.

That is a lie.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

15:25 / 28.08.04

I didn't do it.

sleazenation

16:10 / 28.08.04

I really would like to see more x-men threads, there really aren't enough of them - they always are too short and always exhibit great critical thought.

flufeemunk effluvia

17:51 / 28.08.04

How could I be lying if I am on the internet?

pomegranate

19:58 / 28.08.04

no, i haven't made out w/anyone this week, why do you ask?

Benny the Ball

21:23 / 28.08.04

I'm Kurt Douglas' son.

Olulabelle

21:53 / 28.08.04

Hey! I thought this thread was for lies?

You said when we got married that we were going to keep all that 'We are famous Hollywood stars' thing a big secret and try and live our internet lives as if we were normal everyday people. I can't believe you're blabbing it now. Now everyone in Wales will be PM'ing me.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

07:41 / 29.08.04

I have a birthmark that looks exactly like a map of Snowdonia, complete with railway stations, places of interest, and recommended teashops.

flufeemunk effluvia

16:53 / 29.08.04

I would like a photo of that birthmark.

■

17:10 / 29.08.04

V81ium and Z.a.n.az make your cock SO big. All non-pr3sriptions MEDS!!!CHEP!

Warewullf

21:16 / 29.08.04

"Chuck Austen" is the pseudonym of one Mr. Grant Morrison.

Warewullf

22:00 / 29.08.04

This thread has never been done before.

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